EP 633: The Battle of Coachability and Control

The purpose of this show the purpose of this show is to guide you to realign with habits that get you to live the life you've always dreamed of. This this is the habit based lifestyle podcast with Jesse Jewel. This is the habit based lifestyle where you can access your full potential right now. Finally break free from destructive habits that dream life. If you want it, you can.

Heaven.

This is where you transform your health, mind, business and relationships or do nothing and keep your life the way it is. But if you're ready for change, you're in the right place. This is where you're going to learn how to live a habit based lifestyle. You are tuning in to the habit based lifestyle podcast with your host, Jesse. You. This is the habit based lifestyle. Let's go.

Foreign. Welcome back to the Habit Based Lifestyle Podcast. I'm your host, Jesse Yule. Today we're going to be talking about coachability versus control. Now this is when nobody knows, you know, you hear people say this, nobody knows my business like me. And this becomes the bottleneck in business. So let's get into today's episode. So I was on a coaching call a few days ago and I kind of want to preface this because, you know, a lot of times we hire a coach because we know we need help. We hire a coach because we feel like maybe there's a bottleneck in our business, but we really hire a coach to have them see things from a different perspective than we may be seeing them or, or, you know, hey, I need to level up my skill, whatever that is. We often hire someone to be able to look at our business and see things that we don't see. And, you know, my experience in doing this is kind of two things. So I want to, you know, go back through, you know, years of coaching. So I've coached a lot of people in, you know, know, the health and fitness space and I've coached a lot of people that wanted to lose weight. But like, think about it this way. You spend every day for 20 years, 23 years talking to people about diet, exercise and anything that has to do with that mindset, habits, and you give them a diet and then they don't follow the diet, even though you're like, hey, this diet I know is going to get you the results you're looking for. You just need to follow it. But imagine that person is going to take your 23 years of experience, tens of thousands of people you've worked with and all of a sudden say, hey, nobody knows my body or my health like me. And I, you know, they don't follow the diet, okay? And so I want to preface that, because now we're going into business. You know, you say, hey, nobody knows my business like me. And although that may be true, here's the real truth that no one's telling you, okay? The more that you tell yourself that story, the more that you cling on to that belief, the harder it is going to be for you to want to grow. Now, in this episode, I'm gonna break down. The silent killer of progress is really being uncoachable. And you know what's crazy is this specific conversation, this specific person was someone that I had a conversation with, you know, probably two, three months ago. But it was very different. It was kind of more along the lines of, like, them being very coachable. And, you know, and then here we are, two, three months later, and now we're hitting another roadblock. And here's the thing is, it's not that I don't hit roadblocks. It's not that other people don't hit hit roadblocks, but it's always, you know, it's always a place where you're going to find yourself in a place of, like, wanting to hang on for control. It's way more making decisions from fear, making decisions from your ego, not necessarily being like, hey, I wonder what My coach is telling me this, and I've kind of been stuck at the same level for, you know, 90 days. Maybe what I'm currently doing is not working. Maybe I need to actually listen to what they're doing now. I get it. Not everybody, you know, has that. But I. I really think that, you know, if you're hiring a coach, you want to improve. If you're not improving and you're not listening to what your coach is telling you to doing, to do, then that's a problem, okay? And that's a control thing. That's a ego thing. And we got to kind of break that. So I want to call today, I want to call the mindset out that really keeps high performers stuck or even just people wanting to grow their business and show you how to shift out of this and really just let go of control so that you can unlock the results that you have. Because on the other side of control is usually breakthrough. On the other side of control is usually cash. And at the end of the day, I don't care if you listen to me. I don't care if, you know, you let me coach you. I don't care if I'm your best friend. What I care about is that you get the results you're looking for. And I'm going to lead you to a place where you're going to have to make a decision. Either I want to give up control and I want to. I want to make cash, or I get to hold on to control, I get to hold on to my ego, and I get to hold on to fear, and I stay stuck in the same place. But here's what I've found. The minute, you know, we figure out that, hey, oftentimes we're our own bottleneck in our business, that's the number one place that we have to give up control, okay? Because a lot of times when we're not making the money we want, when we're not growing, we're actually holding things so tight and trying to control every little thing that by default, we're just not getting the results we want. And so let's, you know, let's kind of get into this. So there's really three checkpoints that are going to reveal that you're the bottleneck. So coachability versus control. So number one is decision making paralysis. So, you know, most people will say things like, hey, I want clarity. But then when you have specific instructions on, hey, here's exactly what you need to do to grow your business in this specific situation, I'm talking to one of my clients and I'm saying, look, here's the first person you need to hire. Here's the second person you need to hire. And then they kind of got caught up on the first person, and they're like, hey, I think I'm going to go do this other direction and I'm going to do it my way. And I'm like, hey, that's fine, but just understand this. These are. This is going to be three things that are going to happen from that, okay? So oftentimes we get clarity on what we need to do, but then we don't act on it or we make up some story why we can't do it. The other thing is constantly tweaking, maybe our program constantly tweaking, maybe the way we do things instead of just executing. And I can say this like, you don't need to tweak things. You need to execute. And I'll say this, that most people aren't making the money they want to make, not because they don't know how to do it, because they fail to execute. They literally sit on it or try to change things around so much in their program to where it gets them out of execution. The Other thing is, is, you know when someone says, nobody knows my business like me, and I want to give context. This person in my program did not say, nobody knows my business like me, but I've said it before. Getting coached by other people. But I also want to recognize that they didn't say this, but this was a. A thing that kind of brought that up. So think about it this way. This is another way to just say, I want to do it my way. Okay, well, if your way worked, you probably wouldn't have hired me as a coach, or you probably wouldn't have a coach if your way was getting you the results you want. And so maybe you guys are listening this. You're like, hey, what do I need to give up control on to go to that next level in my business? Because that's really the conversation we're having today. Now, second thing is the false ownership trap. So real ownership isn't knowing more. It's not knowing what to do. It's doing more with what you know or doing more from someone you know. So think about it this way. A lot of times, you know, we think that being an owner is, you need to have all the answers. But what I found is you need to be willing to admit when you don't, because a coach is going to give you some direction there. You know, everything that I'm saying is not a guarantee, but it's giving you a direction that says, like, hey, I'm going to tell you exactly what it's going to take for you to get this result. But it's not guaranteed unless you, you know, execute and do it like nothing's guaranteed. But I do know this, that when you execute, you're gonna be more likely to get results than when you don't. Okay? Now here's the other thing that we often have to shift from the difference between being an employee mindset and being an owner mindset. Employees can blame someone else for their results, okay? And so think about it this way. If I don't get the results, even if you told me what to do, I don't follow through. I can always blame you. But when I'm the owner, you can't blame anybody. You have to take responsibility. That's the biggest difference between being an employee and being being an employee and being a business owner is that when you're an employee, you can blame someone else for your results. When you're an owner, you can no longer blame others for your results. You have to take responsibility for everything. And I'm going to say this for every 9 out of 1099 out of 100, I'm going to tell you this. Most business owners are still acting like employees. They're blaming their team. They're blaming other people in their network. They're blaming their clients for their lack of results when they need to take responsibility for where exactly they're at. And that's, you know, that's a huge difference. Now let's talk about execution. This is number three, okay? The execution audit. Ask yourself, what's the last piece of advice I received from a coach, from a mentor or somebody? But I ignored it. I didn't actually follow through. Did you get the results from that that you were looking for? Okay. What result would you have had if you would have just gone all in and done the work? Here's. Here's what I've come to figure out. Doing the same thing is going to get you the same results. Doing something different, even if it's not the right thing, is always better than doing the same thing. Because think about it. Doing the same thing as a definition of an insanity and expecting a different result, but doing something different, even if it's the wrong thing, still gets you a better result than insanity. Okay? And this may take you a few times to listen to this, but doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Doing something different and still not getting the results you wanted is still better than insanity. Okay, and so what does that mean? That means I have to do something different because I know different is going to get me some other results that's still better than insanity, which is what I've been getting. Okay. The third part of that is coachability. You got to trust the process. You got to trust the person that you're working with. And it's not just the person, it's the process. So I always think about, you know, hey, here's my experience. You know, I've. I've worked with people in the health and fitness space for probably the last 10 years. I've helped people grow to where, you know, they're doing well over multiple seven figures a month. This person's actually seen people in our program that have had success with me. That's why they're in there. So it's not just about trusting me. It's about trusting the process and the system that goes with it. Because you got to trust who you work with, but you really need to trust the process. That, again, doing something different is still a better result than doing the same thing. Because I already know the Results. That happens when I do that. So I want to give you guys kind of like this final, you know, we'll just call it a mic drop, okay? The next time you think of it this way, nobody knows my business like me. Stop and pause, because that might be the next moment. You're choosing control over growth, okay? That might be the next moment. You're choosing insanity over growth. Okay? If, if we're controlling things so much to where I continue to choose insanity as the number one thing, I'm probably not growing a whole lot. And so make sure that you give up, control it. Here's the thing is, if you're stuck in the same place for more than a few months, it's because you're controlling it, okay? You got too many hands in it, you got too many guardrails on it. And you're not actually choosing growth no matter what way you want to look at it. And so ask yourself this question, where in my life am I choosing control over growth? And once I figure that out, what is the action I need to take to move forward? Okay? And that's, you know, that's really the lesson that we're learning here. That's really the lesson I get to learn in here. And guess what? I have clients all the time that are probably not going to listen to everything I say. Uh, but it's part of the process and I'm okay with it. Just like when I, you know, on my gyms and people wouldn't follow the diet and they're like, I don't understand why I'm not getting results. And I'm like, really? You don't understand why you're not getting results? I mean, you're basically not following the plan and then you're wondering, you're not following the process, and then you're wondering why doing it your way isn't working when you've never proven that your way actually worked. So this is, you know, this is the part of being a coach that, you know, you gotta, you gotta work through those things with your clients, you gotta work through those things with the stories. But most of all, you gotta come from a place of like, hey, I only gonna give you things that are gonna help you move forward. If I think it's gonna be detrimental to your results, we're just not gonna talk about it or we're not gonna execute on it. So guys, if you want to find out more about the habit based marketing system that we do with health professionals and coaches, service based businesses, get inside of our habit based marketing and Business Habit Based Lifestyle in Business Secrets group on Facebook. We'd love for you to be part of the community. Go ahead and go into the show Notes. Click on the link and it'll take you directly there. Also, you guys want to find out more about habit based Lifestyle podcasts. You have questions? You want me to do some specific episodes? Let me know. Email me jesseabitbasedlifestyle.com until next episode. Have a great day.

The purpose of this show is to guide you to realign with habits that get you to live the life. Live the life you've always dreamed of. This this is the Hab Habit Based Lifestyle Podcast with Jesse Jewel. This is the habit based lifestyle where you can access your full potential right now. Finally break free from destructive habits. That dream life. If you want it, you can have it. This is where you transform your health, mind, business and relationships. Or do nothing and keep your life the way it is. But if you're ready for change, you're in the right place. This is where you're gonna learn how to live a habit based lifestyle. You are tuning in to the Habit Lifestyle Podcast with your host Jesse. This is the Habit Based Lifestyle. Let's go.