In this personal testimony, the speaker recounts a painful Christmas gathering with a brother who identifies as a MAGA supporter and Marine. Initially hopeful for a harmonious family reunion, the speaker is confronted with the brother’s bigoted remarks, including Islamophobic statements and hostility toward LGBTQIA+ people. The speaker reflects on the stark contrast between the rejection they face from blood relatives and the strong, supportive bonds within the queer community—a bond forged historically during crises such as the HIV/AIDS epidemic. They detail their own professional achievements (Human Rights Commission Leadership Award, solo art exhibit, $50,000 Artist Impact Endowment Grant, MFA, documentary on child sex trafficking in the Philippines) to illustrate personal success and activism. The conversation escalates, leading the speaker to end it, expressing sorrow for the brother’s children who may inherit hateful ideologies. The speaker attributes the brother’s MAGA alignment partly to military indoctrination but asserts that change is possible through exposure to alternative perspectives. They close with a call for solidarity against genocide and oppression (Free Palestine, Sudan, etc.), encourage LGBTQIA+ individuals to stay strong, and promote an upcoming EP launch show on January 8 at El Rio in San Francisco featuring queer and trans guest performers.
Chapters
I'm coming on here to give space for our community, people like me who have experienced hateful treatment from their MAGA families during their Christmas family gathering, which happened to me just last night. I went there, I was really, really happy to see them. I knew that my brother was MAGA, but, you know, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I've always given space for conversation, and I refused to believe that he was deeply indoctrinated. Just for context, he is part of the Marines. And unfortunately has very bigoted point of views about so many things that I am actually fighting against with. The night started really well. We were talking and just having fun, and, you know, he started giving drinks to people, including me. Um, at first I refused because I've been sober for months now, but I complied since, you know, I wanted to experience this time with my family and my brother. I really didn't have intentions of getting into a conversation that spiraled negatively with him. I I really genuinely wanted to experience him as a brother, but started asking about my experience as a queer person during the holidays. And when he said this, I did not understand it at first, but he was like, why do you keep coming back here in this family? This is your only genuine connection, right? At first I was asking myself, like, what does it mean? Maybe he— in my mind, yeah, it's in, in my community, it's, it is quite challenging to, to create connections, but we do create really genuine connection. And contrary to what he said, our community has been building our own families because we have been ostracized, kicked out by our very blood-related families, and we really form strong bonds within our community. And in fact, despite how the world treats us, we help each other. And a proof of that is during the HIV/AIDS crisis, when everyone turned their back from us, including the government, and people were dying because of the neglect and apathy that we experienced, but we as a community stood and moved forward with love for our own community. So we have exemplified genuine connections and even deeper love within ourselves as a community. This is just to educate my brother and anyone out there who's doubting the connections within our community. And I would even say we have stronger bonds and stronger connections within our community as compared to other blood-related families. So that's not the only thing he said to me. He eventually asked me if I was successful. And just to review, to my My brother specifically, this year alone, I received an award from the Human Rights Commission as the Leadership Award for the Arts and Culture. I had a solo exhibit for my art. I mounted an event for Gappa Runway. I got a grant of $50,000 from the city for the Artist Impact Endowment Grant. Last year, I finished my master's degree in fine arts. I traveled all over the world to maybe about 15 countries for my documentary film about child sex trafficking in the Philippines. And maybe I should have asked him too, 'What have you done in your life?' And maybe he can boast that, yeah, he's part of the Marine. Good for you. This conversation spiraled and to him declaring that all Muslims are killers. And that's the point where I really stood up and said, 'I cannot have this conversation anymore. I can't believe that you've said this.' And I told him that his views are very dangerous. He realized it and retracted it, and he was like, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't say that.' But it was too late. I was already up here. You could just imagine the, the amount of disbelief I had during that moment. I was really hoping that my brother was not deeply entrenched into these very hateful beliefs, but unfortunately he is, and I think I just have to accept that. I just feel sorry for his kids though. His kids are going to grow up with these kinds of beliefs about hate towards other groups of people, about hate towards working-class people, and about misconceptions about the LGBTQIA+ queer and trans community. I am very sad about this because I could not believe that this person is my brother. And mind you, we grew up with the same mom who was a political activist in the Philippines, who fought for the rights of working-class families in the Philippines. And I just could not connect to how he became a MAGA. I guess indoctrination once you get into the military is very strong. Do all militaries think like this? I don't think so. I think it's still a choice, and I think you could still free your mind if you expose yourself out there other than what the military has been telling you. But yeah, I just want to give space for other LGBTQIA+ folks and trans folks who are experiencing the same thing this holidays. I like you to stay strong. I am staying strong. I'm processing it my way, but I hope it will not bring you down. I'm not letting it bring me down. I am reminding myself of how strong I am and what my role is in this community and how I stand for love. I stand for acceptance and inclusion and belonging. And stand against genocide always, which my brother tried to defend, unfortunately. I really am in disbelief right now, but no to genocide, no to war. Free Palestine, free Sudan, and free all of the occupied territories and countries all over the world. And also, I am coming up with an EP, which I have a show of. My EP launch is on January 8th. Don't forget to come. It will be at El Rio San Francisco. It starts at 9 PM. I will have two other guest performers, Miraj and Mar XOXO, who are both amazing queer and trans artists. And yeah, if you want to support us, please come to the show and click the link to RSVP on my bio. And happy holidays, everybody! Bye!
