You've Tried Everything What If There's NothingTo Fix
Joanne Smith describes how well-intentioned symptom-fixing like chiropractic and meditation can trap you in a loop that keeps pain alive. She reframes recovery as simply being yourself and doing what feels good, not following a prescribed regimen. Her own breakthrough came from chaotic journaling and hula-hooping.
Chapters
Hi there and welcome to Bend and Snap, Active People Getting Back on Track. Welcome to another Tuesday live session. Coming from sunny Leeds, sunny rainy Leeds, it's been an interesting day. We've had all kinds of weather today. Um, please say hi in the comments. Please test to see whether it is finally going to work when I'm live, see if the messages are ever going to pop up for me. One of these days it will work. So apologies if I'm not replying to your comments. I, um, I will keep checking and see if anything works. And, um, hope you've all had a lovely week. Um, it's been a busy one, a busy week. These Tuesdays come around so quickly. And it's really nice to be here just to actually, just to slow myself down for the next half an hour as well, because I feel like I'm a child in a nursery who's just moving from one thing to another to another, just playing with all the toys, not knowing which one to go to next. And I feel like my days are a lot like that, where I do lots of things that I love doing, And I just seem to be moving around all over the place. Um, so I don't know what brought that up for me, what reminded me of being like a kid in nursery. Um, I think it's because we— because I've just been doing, um, hula hooping, and then I come back, and then I— yeah, I just, I just do things that I enjoy these days. So today's session, enough of my rambling. Um, I want to talk about, for those of you that have been Um, like going through— maybe, maybe it's like, um, a chronic pain that's been long, long-lasting, um, going on and on, or whether it might be a symptom that you've been suffering with, whether it's like headaches or migraines or stomach discomforts, anything that it might be. And you feel as though you've done everything, like, that you've been advised, you've followed all the rules, you've done all the Research, you've literally, you've got a really good understanding, you've read all about it, you've just done so much to help yourself, and the title for the session is that you've tried everything, but what if there's nothing to fix? What if there is nothing actually to do? That's just the question that I'm putting out for you there, because that was massive for me. That was huge for me in being able to recover from many of these chronic symptoms that I was stuck with the belief that they were lifelong, that there was no cure for them. I just had to do the best I could, learn to cope, learn to manage, pain management, you name it. So you might have done everything that's been ever recommended. You think I've exhausted all the options. I exhausted all the physical options for sure on my journey, whether it were chiropractors, acupuncturists, physiotherapy, reading all the books, doing all these special exercises. Headspace, I used to use that app a lot, like doing bits of like meditation kind of things and relaxation and listening to all kinds of different podcasts and just literally like a non-stop mission to fixing, doing everything that in my power, in my best power to get an improvement and literally being exhausted. So this is why I posed the question, what if there is nothing to fix? Because the day that I realised that was enlightening, It was like, ah, so actually all of these things that I have been doing have unintentionally been keeping myself stuck in the loop. And I was listening to a session, a training session the other day, and they called it a goofy loop. I quite liked that concept of goofy loop. It's basically where you're in a learned response, you know, that's just going to keep on repeating to a to perfection. And the fact that we're doing all of these things that we would consider as a fixing activity is actually unintentionally reiterating to our brain how important it is to keep the symptoms going and keep the pain and keep whatever it might be that's happening, because all the things that we're doing in the desperate attempt to fix Are unintentionally being read as, yes, this is really important, we need to keep this, this happening, look at all the attention that Jo's placing upon these issues, then clearly this is really, really important, and then we get going round and round and round in a goofy loop. So I genuinely spent a lot of time thinking, I'll find the next special thing it might be. I would have bought anything, I'd be— I once had this pen, this pain pen, where you literally just dab it in yourself and give yourself a bit of an electric shock. The next technique, the next strategy, the next do this, do that, look up to your left, look up to your right, turn around in a circle and do 2 claps, whatever it might have been, I thought. I got really into learning about the mind and neuro-linguistic programming, I got into learning about all of these different modalities to helping people. In the beginning, I was getting really into the hypnotherapy, and I genuinely thought that the hypnotherapy was an incredible thing, but again, they're lovely techniques, they can help, but you cannot beat the realisation of there is nothing to fix, there's nothing to do. Because when you realize that, that's when the real progress happens, and the work, there is no work, because this is the other thing I wanted to mention, and a lot of people talk about it a lot in mind-body medicine and recovery, they talk about having to go and do the work, having to be willing to go and do the work, and I'm like, I really do not like that, just, I just, It doesn't line up with me, like the fact having to go and do work to get well, I kind of don't go with that as a belief because actually it's not work, it's not doing anything, it's actually doing— how do I explain this? Because I do find it, I find it a thing that gets said that Um, it kind of— I question a lot about the need to go and do the work, to go, go and work on yourself, and to go and, um, do the emotional, um, things and all, all of that stuff, because actually I don't feel like it's— um, maybe it's just the way it's worded. I'm, um, Maybe it's the way it's worded, because maybe there is things that you do, but to me it never felt like work. It never felt like going and doing work. So I have done things that have been really useful, that have driven me down the recovery road, you could say, but the things that I'm doing weren't things that I was told, you have to go and follow this process and do this and do that. And you have to go and write for 20 minutes every single day, like for example some programs out there are very directive, and I think maybe that's where this go and do the work thing comes from, and some people will get well by following a process and going and doing work, but for me and many people that I know, there is no one-way To get well. We're all individuals and we're all really different, and it's a different process for every single person, you could say, but with similarities. So for me, it was a case of I didn't really consider the learning as doing work, it was just interest, it was just purely out of interest, like, ah, that's got my interest, I think that could be potentially something that I want to learn a little bit more about. So maybe I just didn't see it as doing work, and I just saw it as, um, really interesting. And when you know that there's a potential that you could find, um, some relief for yourself if you're going through chronic pain or chronic symptoms, then it didn't feel like any— it didn't feel like work to me. It felt as though it got easier because it felt as though when I kind of had an idea what was really happening and that All pain, all symptoms are all being generated in the brain, it's all real, we feel, we're feeling what we feel, it's not imaginary, it cannot be made up, it cannot be our own fault, it's something that happens automatically. When I knew all of that, it felt like less work for me because what did feel like doing the work was when I was doing all these special strengthening, special stretches, using hot pads, cold pads, spiky mats, acupuncture, special— doing appointments, having nerve ablations, radiofrequency, you know, having procedures. That felt like work, I'm not gonna lie. That felt like— that just felt like non-stop having to work physically on my body, having to like even just wash the windows to get moving on a morning, and that felt like work. But then when I got into this understanding, learning about Dr. Sarno's approach and mind-body medicine, to me, like, this is why I struggle when people say about doing the work, because it's never felt one minute like working since I got involved in these approaches. And I knew that you didn't have to follow any particular process, There was no, if journaling's not your thing, journaling's not your thing. If it doesn't feel like a good idea and it doesn't feel like something that you would do if you were already well, then it's not an essential requirement to recovery. So this is why I maybe come up with the title for today's session about being a little bit passionate about What if there is nothing to fix? Because if there's nothing to fix, then why would you need to do— go and do a meditation if it wasn't something that just took your fancy and meditating wasn't something that you would have done anyway? So it's just about the reason behind— if you're doing something with an energy of wanting an outcome of this is going to get rid of this pain, then that's fixing, and actually, to me, doing the work means stopping doing anything to fix yourself, so doing the work is just doing you, which is easy, it's easy to be you, it's easy to follow your own passion, it's easy to be your authentic self, so I suppose what they mean is The work is when you are having to consciously make the effort to stop doing the things that you didn't want to do anyway, which is easy. So please don't ever be put off by if you're ever watching any videos or reading any training sessions and somebody says that you've got to be willing to do the work. The work is fun, it's you, there's nothing to actually do, there's nothing to fix, and if you consider doing some educational things like listening to some books on Audible or watching some podcasts or videos as work, then maybe you might agree to disagree with me on this, on this area, but to me, I saw it as nothing to do, there's nothing to fix, and that was so freeing, so good, so good not having to get up every morning And do the things that I'd— oh, it was so, so freeing and easy. The hardest bit is making the decision that you're gonna go for it, and then stick with it, and stick with it consistently whilst getting no results, because again, there's nothing to fix, so we're not actually focusing on getting any results here, because why would we be? There's nothing to fix. So I hope I'm not blagging your heads here and confusing things, but yeah, it can be really easy to get caught up with the busy mind of trying everything, adding more and more and more things in. There's lots of thought thinking going on there, well, this isn't working and that's not working, and all that unhelpful thinking Just can keep us trapped in that goofy loop. Am I doing enough of this? How much is it enough? How much should I be researching? How much should I be reading? What's working? Then checking and analysing what to do next. And it can just get really difficult, like desperately trying to solve things, when actually the question is of tonight What if there's nothing to fix? So you're trying to solve something, like, but maybe there is no problem that actually needs solving. So that was such a big shift for me, a big shift, because my head was blocked with everything that I'd read about fibromyalgia and current research and all of some of the some of the things that pop up about the latest research and how they think they might have found certain things, and it's just getting all of that out of your head and just meeting yourself where you're at and just being like, what if there is nothing to fix? And what if this is easier than I've been realizing all this time? And for me it really was, and I just had this big, big deep urge that felt like there were no work, because so much stuff had been taken away that I was doing to manage, that I just all of a sudden had such a knowing that I decided I'm not doing any of those things anymore. The moment that I realized that those things were fueling the cycle and keeping my brain switching on the alarms that were false alarms, I knew that I needed to take all that attention away from the body. No longer massaging, no longer doing stretches to fix certain parts that were hurting, no longer drawing attention towards them, not talking about them. Obviously you're going to have thoughts that come in which we— they're automatic, we can't stop, but noticing when that happened and then choosing to go with a different response, all of those things were things that I could consciously do. I had some power, power back. So rather than looking towards fixing body because there's nothing to fix, and I knew that there's nothing to fix. So rather than doing that, I did spend some time, and it just felt right. It didn't feel like work, it didn't feel like extra things to do, it felt easy. Um, I've mentioned this in previous sessions that, um, in the early days I took pen to paper and did some, um, chaos journaling, I'll call it, because my, my way of doing it is a bit chaotic. It's all over the place. There's no followed structure. I wasn't following, um, like a writing exercise because some people follow specific— there are exercises that you can get where you follow the processes, but mine was just me, a piece of paper and a pen, and just, um, maybe getting some thoughts down on the paper in a scribble that wasn't written And it felt like, I felt like doing it, it didn't feel like work, I did it for as long as I felt the need to do it, it was about, I did it every day I think for a week, just for about 10 minutes, got a lot of initial evidence and benefit and felt, and I didn't expect anything to happen, I wasn't going out to fix anything, but on the back of it I had this massive moment of wow, that I felt a reduction in the levels of symptoms that I was experiencing, they didn't disappear, Disappear or anything, um, anything like instantaneous, um, but it, it didn't feel like doing work, and I knew that there were noctifix, and I felt like doing it. I'd read about it, it kind of made sense, it took my fancy, so I had a go at doing it, um, and it's something that probably I might have done anyway, even if I hadn't have had an issue, you know, I might have just— Sometimes wrote a few bits and pieces. I'm I say I don't like writing, but I do write things down. But I don't write them down in any any kind of orders. It's like this sort of stuff. I don't um I don't look back at things again. Um that's just my style. I've always been a bit like that. Just scribbles. Um but anyway, so. Underneath all of that, it's that knowing that things are working the way that they're supposed to work, when you understand and you've been through the process and you've ruled out the catastrophic stuff, ruled out anything medical. As always, we're vigilant, we're not going to be diagnosing mind-body on a symptom that, that is clearly medical or anything like that. We're looking at these, these occasions where medicine's not been able to help, nobody's been able to find anything wrong, and you're the mystery. You've been sent away and, or you've been like me, you've been diagnosed with, um, with something that is classed that you've just got to manage and cope and deal the best you can, and then you don't even actually get your follow-up appointments because the waiting lists are so long that you just get sent away and left on your own anyway, which actually is a blessing for many, many people who are going online now and researching, what do I do? How— is there a cure for chronic pain? And what's happening is people are going on Google and they're getting like things pinging up like the ATNS, Association for Treatments of Neuroplastic Symptoms, which I'm a part of. I'm one of their coaches in the coaching directory on there, or they're searching for there and they're getting like, join the Curable app, and people are like, no chance, this is a load of rubbish. And they're like getting really annoyed at it and clicking off, and I'm not doing that, that's a load of rubbish. And then eventually it just keeps on popping back up and they go, okay, maybe I'll have a little look. And people that were, um, annoyed at it and angry at it and saying this is a load of rubbish have had their, um, eyes opened and they've been There's some beautiful cases where people have finally given up to prove that it was a load of rubbish and to prove that it won't work, and it's worked for them and they've got well. And I just love to hear all of these funny scenarios where we've known about it and we've, like, been annoyed at it and pushed it away. And I knew about Sarno for 6 months before I even considered revisiting it and implementing it. And I was like, well, I know about this, and why didn't I get well? Why didn't I get any? And I was like, um, It took me a good 6 months to come back and revisit and be ready, and be ready to actually do some changes, you could say. But yeah, there's so many factors to why that might be for people. There's so many factors. Sometimes you don't realise it, but it's the fear of actually recovery. Like, who am I going to be if I'm all of a sudden You know, there's just so many factors that come into consideration. So yeah, I just want to reassure you that actually, if you hear the expression doing the work, don't get put off. The work does not feel like work. It feels like luxury compared to if you've been stuck for quite a while. If you're classed as chronic, then you've been stuck for at least 3 months or more, and for many people it might even be 3 It might even be into the 10s, 20s, and 30s, and whatever, 40 years. It doesn't matter about time, it doesn't matter, there's still nothing to fix, and the process is still less work than you might think if you're hearing a message of do the work. Yeah, we're not going to be all about trying to fight fix, putting in more effort, it's not all about that, it's not all about, um, uh, uh, it's not all about like having to be in control about everything and all this stuff because it's all stuff that's gonna be unhelpful, it's actually doing a lot less of all of that stuff which really frees you up Frees up your mind, it frees up space, it frees up a lot of things. It, yeah, it's easier to sleep at night, let's put it that way. So instead of asking yourself, oh, what should I do next? What do I need to try next? What's the next person that I need to see? What's the other next person that can make this happen for me? Please know that nobody needs to fix anyone, another person. They can be beautiful support, but that other person is not going to fix you because there's nothing to fix, and they can't do that. They can't do that for another person. Nobody can. Nobody can. So instead of being like, oh, what do I need to do next? It's more about what actually feels good to do now. What feels good? What do I feel like I want to do? Yeah? And if the answer is, I feel like I want to go for a walk, there you go, you've got the answer. If you just want to sit with a drink, there you go. If you want to watch silly videos, my mum keeps sending me so many funny videos. She sent me a video of people skipping, you know, it was so funny. It's amazing to see how different Different people's skips can be, and it was like a range of people of all different ages, men, women. They were just so funny watching these people skip. We literally just put the video on at the beginning of the hula hooping and we just stood there laughing. So, so funny before we started. Anyway, you might want to go have a nap. Why not if it feels good? Just don't stay there every day for the next week. But anyway, there is no, there's no structured way, there's no protocol that you need to follow. It can feel horrible following something so strict. I know people that are following very, very strict dietary things and, oh, it's so complicated, so overly complicated that actually we could unintentionally be amplifying our symptoms Because they get louder and louder on the back of what we're doing, and we think we're doing something to help, and then getting frustrated and wondering why it's not working. So just whatever you feel, follow what feels good for you, yeah, with a genuine understanding that there is no work. We're not here, like, to have to work on ourselves. We're absolutely fine the way we are, so we're here to live. Yeah, so there is some trust obviously in these things, trusting that your mind knows how to settle itself, it knows what to do, it knows how to quieten all by itself, um, when we leave it to do what it does. And if we're having so many, many, many of those unhelpful thoughts, And then we're sticking more and more in there by, what else do I need to do? What else do I need to do? Why is that not working? And all this stuff. When we stop doing that, everything just settles and quietens. So I'd be more than happy to chat about this forever and ever and ever. So I apologise that my comments are not working. On Facebook, Facebook no longer seems to allow the comments to work. But thank you all for being here, and I look forward to seeing the comments afterwards. Thanks for joining me each Tuesday. As always, please share in the groups if there's any questions or insights, any requests, anything like that. Get in touch if you'd like to meet. Please drop me a message. And we can sort that. I encourage you to, if you're unsure about anything, get some answers, meet with any one of the practitioners in this space. There's not enough of us. There's a big drive actually to get more and more people to come into this supportive mind-body Medical world, so if many people who do come into this as a profession, they do have their own recovery stories, and it's, it seems to be the, the case with the majority of people that I've met in this world, that they've found themselves now doing this for a living because they can't not, because they've seen it for themselves, they've experienced it for themselves, and it's like a massive drive that this— more and more and more people need to know about this. And just as I guess medicine's catching up, and just as it's filtering into the mainstream medicine system, it's our responsibility now, now that we know this stuff. There's not many people that get well that don't end up doing that loudly, because it's impossible not to do. So if you do need help, It's such a great place to get help, it's such a supportive world to become involved in, that just reach out and you can drop me a message and I'll send you a link, and yeah, I encourage anyone that wants to take advantage of those sessions to go for it because I am finally getting really busy, which is lovely. It's really, really good that I'm Just, I've been taking it slow, but I'm starting to get really full. Like, literally, I don't have many spare gaps anymore each week. So yeah, get in touch if there's anything you could— you'd like me to help with, and I'll see you all next Tuesday. So have a lovely week. Bye! Bye!
