Brett Kaufman: Embracing Happy Moments to Break Free from Overthinking

Have you ever felt like you've been stuck in your head, you know, like you're overthinking every move you make or probably the moves you were actually not really making. But, you know, you have this mental prison feeling like it's, it's just not progressing. There's something blocking you. And there's a guy I brought onto my podcast today. I met him in Vegas at a mastermind speakeasy, mastermind that we're both a part of. We're sitting on the bus after this, like, really cool mansion pool party thing. That was wild. And him and I struck up a conversation and it led to what you're about to listen to on this podcast episode where Brett Kaufman, he is on today to basically talk about his story, talk about how he's had some down down, some up ups, but practical ways to basically release whatever the thing in you that's feeling kind of held back so you can find more joy in your life. You can feel more unique. And there's, there's different processes, therapeutic practices that he shares that are super fun. Breath, work, dance, improv, and just like the thinking and how he's been applying it. And Brett, you know, he's friends, really great friends with Amber Spears. She's been on this podcast before. She's a big hit. And they, they both do a lot of stuff in the communities, you know, in the marketing, the all these publishing communities, creators, and run some cool masterminds. So if you're interested, definitely go follow Brett Kaufman. And before we get into the episodes, go check out the clone, the AI clone of this episode, but also this entire podcast. It's totally free. You can talk with it, you can chat with it on the phone or through voice. You can do a video call with me, try it out. Pause this. Go to hustleandflowchart.com clone C L O N E hustleandflowchart.com Clone Start asking some questions. I asked AI Joe to tell you a story about this episode, Brett Kaufman, Brett Kaufman's episode, or any other topic you can think of. Tell me what you think of it. Go check it out. Hustleandflowchart.com clone now let's get to the episode.

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Yeah. Yeah. That was a great one.

That was, man. Yeah. And because you're out in what, Miami, you said, so working with. I gotta shout out Amber Spears because she's been on this podcast couple times and love her like a sister. I mean, she's like, she's so damn cool. And yeah, so good on you for working with her, man. Lucky.

That is. Yeah. Lucky is the right way of saying it. Like that's one of those few people that you just do anything for. She's an absolutely amazing, amazing individual and changing so many lives and one of the most selfless people I've ever met, which is very rare.

Yeah. Yeah. So after you finish this episode with Brett and I go listen to her the last episode, because you'll. You'll see her true personality come through, raw, real open, funny. All the fun stuff, all the, all this, all the good stuff.

All the good stuff.

Which I don't know you nearly as much yet, but I feel like by the end of this, we will. And I'm already getting the vibe that you're very similar too. So there's a. There's a reason, man. So, yeah, I mean, well, she just cut into it. I mean, like, big idea. I always like to kind of like, big idea. You hit me already with it. Like, there's been a lot of changes recently in. In your life, in your business. It's partnerships and I mean, it's a lot of it's. I just recorded a show with another friend of mine, very similar circumstances. I hear it often with people who write in or whatever. I talk to, listen and watch too, for one. It's just tough being an entrepreneur sometimes, and you got to roll with punches, reinvent. I think that's the phase you're in right now. But I want to hear it from you a little bit.

Well, first off, thank you for having me on there. And before we get into that whole stuff, let me ask you a question. What. What are your mandatory happy moments? If you're not exactly sure what that is, I'm happy to explain, but I want to see what you would say just from that question.

I think of my kids immediately and my wife because genuine and adventures. So not looking at a screen.

There's no screen involved. I'll just say that. No device. So those are mandatory. They are mandatory every day for me. That's what keeps me rolling. Powerful, energetic.

That was really spot on. It's for the way I'm defining it, but anyone can do it differently. It's slightly different. So my mandatory happy moments are like salsa dancing, the gym, breath work, and like improv. And what mandatory happy moments is, I'm sure this has existed forever. I came up with that term for me because I was. The first time I was suicidal was a decade ago. And at that time, I, like, couldn't. There was like days where I was like, if I could just do one thing that makes me happy, I know I'll be able to get to the next day. And I would start stacking just the smallest things. It could be like, my shoes look cool or like I brushed my hair today. Just like literally anything. And I started to call them, like, mandatory happy moments. And so I was like. I was like, like, like you have to do things in your business in order to be successful. They're mandatory. You gotta do your sales calls, whatever it is your fulfillment. I was like, well, I have to do mandatory happy things to make sure I become happy and get out of my mental state that I was in then. It evolved over time to being like, well, thank God I feel significantly better not in that state anymore. How do I not reverse that state? And I'm like, well, what if I can put myself in happiness? Predictable being predictable about being happy. So I Started to schedule in things that I loved. And it's rotated between, like salsa dancing. I do improv classes now, obviously, a lot of working out a lot. Like, Like a lot of yoga classes. And I was like, well, these things give me great endorphins. How often in the past have I had to move it because I gotta do something else? But I was like, no, these things are mandatory. I have to do it because if I do it, I'm gonna feel really good. And if I have a shit day, but a mandatory happy moment, my day is neutral. I have a good day and a mandatory happy moment. My day is great. If I have a great day and a mandatory happy moment, my day is absolutely fucking amazing. I made that a core part of my life.

It's a beautiful core part. And I.

Guess I define it in my brain. It's like, what are the daily habits? But it's bigger than a habit, right? But I like the mandatory happy moment framing of it all. And I have my own story that daily habits help me get out of some dark places. Some very ambiguous. I didn't really have a lot of direction between. I just talked about this on the previous episode, but it's like business relationships. My old co host, Matt Wolf, and a lot of folks follow him now on YouTube and all that stuff. We did this podcast for a long time together. There was a nice gap in time there where I was finding myself and didn't have that consistency. And it was microhabits, daily habits, like 10 of them. And I mean, just simple things is like, drink enough water, you know, and get enough sleep. But then why not add in some. I mean, breathwork was in there for me too, but like salsa dancing and other things that you can, I guess, more or less check in a good way. Like check it off for the day. But yeah, it starts stacking in the positive direction. Then it becomes more a part of your life. Like you just. That's your. That's. That's what brings you joy.

Yeah, it can be anything too, because, like, you know, for me it was like. It's like I started viewing because my new thing I've been doing is improv and. And that. I mean, we'll talk about, like, what happened to me over the summer, like this past summer. But improv has been. And I've done a lot of therapy. Improv's been the best form of therapy I've ever done because. And it's something I. And I'll explain why in a second, but it's something I look forward to or it's just so anchored in. Just like anything else in my day is anchored in that. Like, I can't skip it. It's like, like I know for a fact this has to happen because I know the positive energy it provides in my life. And when I switch that belief of this is just as important to. As a sales call is or client fulfillment is, then those endorphins are even 10 times more. Cause my body was like, no, we have to do this. We know we need to do this. And it really allowed me to be present in the moment, like soak it all in, which was amazing.

All right, so I'm thinking of like these mandatory happy moments, habits, whatever you want to. Like, you listening, watching. I'm curious, do you. Is there a stacking, like an order? Is there priming of your day that you like to do these things? Yeah. Any kind of order that you can put to this?

Yeah. So I'm a morning person. So this is. If you're, if you're a morning person, this will apply. Like more like I like to wake up when the sun is still like not out yet. I just find that energy, that study, like I like to study first thing in the morning. I find I pull that the most.

Like five o' clock kind of time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I usually I'm up at like 5:30, but for me, like how I prime myself for the day is the gym and sauna are huge for me. And I feel if I don't do that, I feel really out of whack. Not sauna every day, but the gym definitely every day. And then if I don't, I feel out of whack. But then an exercise I started to do that was huge for me in every single time period that I've not been super well. Upstairs was writing a letter as future Brett to present. Brett and I doing it now. And we alternate. I alternate between writing it a month out and then writing it six months out.

Ooh, okay. Yep.

So I picked that time frame because like a month, it's like, this can happen. Like these things can happen. It's right around the corner. And then six months out, you're like, well, if I'm consistent about this, then this can really happen. And I like to alternate the days because it gets my. Gets me excited. And even though the month date changes, obviously it's always like 30 days out from when I write it. The six month goal is like, that's a deadline. Like I always do. December 31, 2024. I'm like at this time, here's all the things that's gonna happen. And so it's gonna be really fun when those dates actually line up to the exact same date. And I get to be like, wow, all this stuff came true.

So you've been doing this a while then?

I've had this tool in my toolkit for a while. I restarted it after which we'll get into after some of these things that happened and I. And I wish I forgot how absolutely amazing it was for me. Like, I wish. I wish I restarted earlier. It's. It's so powerful because something I learned was I'm a really good manifester, but for good and bad.

Yeah.

And I found that there was things I manifested that were really bad because of the way I pry my mind. And then the reverse things I manifest that are really good because the way I prime my mind so now it's like I'm very intentional with what comes out of my mouth because I'm like, holy shit, the superpower is like getting me in trouble sometimes.

Well, we're all our own creators, man. I fully believe it and can't control the outcome, but we can at least steer the direction. What are some. Maybe it's not the worst best label, but what are some shitty habits that ways that you were priming yourself in the opposite direction?

So there was two things. There was.

We got out of a business relationship recently and even a year before I was saying like, you know, like, I would like to be out of this. And I. It was just me saying it to myself. Cause like, you know, maybe like, I want to try going a different direction, all that stuff. And it was just wild how literally a year after I started saying that it happened.

Yeah. I was like, oh.

And then there was some things like, for example, I would get nervous of, like when I would future project revenue, I'd be like, ah, you know, like that client won't be there, therefore I need to compensate because I'm going to lose that retainer. And then all of a sudden, that month came around, that client was gone. I was like, oh. Because I was like, my brain was used to getting to that number of like, no, no, no, you're not gonna make this anymore. You're only gonna make this because that client left. So I started becoming super hyper aware of that. But on the positive side, as an example, even though this was sad because I just got out of a relationship with someone that I thought could have been someone I married.

Yeah.

I started journaling in the past summer when I got out of a different relationship, like, months earlier that I was like, I will be dating my. My. My future partner at my birthday. And literally on my birthday, like, the woman I ended up dating no longer. But, like, at the time she was there, and it was like. Was one of those, like, wild moments. I was like, wow. Like, this shit really does come true. So that's why it's like, I'm now very super careful.

I mean, it's good to learn. I hate to laugh, but, like, hey, man, you live, you learn, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. For one, thanks for being open, like, already with this stuff, because, like.

It'S the thing. I don't know if it's me, the show, or the people I hang around, but, like, more and more people are starting to just kind of be like, eff it. Yeah, just throw it out there. I don't know who's gonna hear this, but I. But I think to your point, you gotta put out there maybe what hasn't worked, what the past you was. And know that. All right, cool. We're here right now. What am I gonna do about it? There is a reality. I can kind of write for myself. I can write for myself, literally. Yeah. And. And know that you're. You're somehow implanting that not only in yourself, but you can communicate it here. You're. You're seeing it, like, in. Through meditation or whatever practices you're doing throughout the day. Improv. I mean, like, shit, I'm super interested on that part as therapy specifically.

It's amazing.

But before all that.

I mean, you're known for email marketing. I don't know how far we'll go to that here, but obviously, to do that work effectively, which you've done for what you've almost generated almost 100 million bucks for your clients. Right. Just through email marketing alone. So you're a badass there. Of course, you need to be fueled internally through all the stuff that we're talking about to even get to that point. Or maybe you're hustling and grinding to get to that point, and then you hit a rock. I mean, there's probably some stories there, but. Yeah, tell me a little bit about, like, set the scene there, but then I want to go. Go to kind of like the now. You said the last, you know, handful of weeks this summer has been, like, totally turned you around, and you have some really interesting future stuff that's coming too.

My background, before I became an entrepreneur, I was never one of those kids that was like, I want to be an entrepreneur. I always find the stories like, funny because whenever I hear them, like, that's great. That was not me. I was into sports and girls when I was a kid. I was like, I also had a rat tail. So I don't know how much I was into the girls because I like, I watched it in you. Yeah. I was like, maybe from. Yeah, it was the first Star wars movie, like one, not four. And young Anakin had a rat tail. And I was like, well, if I have a rat tail, I can be a Jedi. So that was the thought.

That's good.

I was like, you know, it works.

But anyways, after I did that, after I got out of that phase, I went into bipartisan, pro Israel lobbying for an organization called aipac. And I loved it. I was there for five years. That that organization, what it does is it strengthens the us, Israel and her allies. So so much of the technology that we use is made in Israel. The defense, the, the medicine. It just. There's such a, a great cooperation between the countries and also helps keep the world safe, especially with what's happening now. Yeah, my job was a fundraise. And so I would be like on phone, email and texting, getting people to set up meetings with me and meet them for the first time in person and ask them for any $1800 up to $100,000. First time meeting me. And I was good at it. I raised 3 million in three years. But that's what taught me email and copy. Cause most of the meetings I set came from that. So eventually when I got out of that, because it was a nonprofit, I'd like to have made more than a nonprofit. It was an easy transition for me. When I would meet people in the high ticket coaching space, I was like, oh, I can just write words to attract someone to then get on a call with me and I can close them.

So.

So that's how I learned email without even learning what email or copywriting was.

Got it. You were just doing it. Yeah. You learned through action.

Yeah.

Go figure. Yeah. And what agency? I mean, I know you still do that work. You know, that's kind of. I don't know if you call it like the day job at this point, but obviously you've done some other stuff. Like Amber Spears. You're working with her on some of the. Cool. Talk about that briefly, because that's something I think Amber spoke about a little bit with the four rooms. Right?

Yeah. So four rooms Mastermind. I'm the director of growth there. It is truly one of the best masterminds out There and I'm also a member, let me just say we've invested our own money into it and got a huge roi. And then obviously when she asked me to help take these calls, I was happy to do that. What makes the community so unique and different than what anyone else out there does is that it's so matchmaked to what you need. And we're very careful in who we let in because everyone there is a giver, everyone there is heart centered. Everyone there's already rich. So that's not like, like if you're just rich people are like okay, you have to be rich and wanting to also be rich in your wealth and like growing your wealth, protecting your wealth in your health and in your relationships which means your family and your friends. So if you're not that you're not a good fit for us. But if you are that when you do come into the room and everything's matchmaked so it's like oh, who do you want to meet? And we literally go into the weeds. You want to meet these kind of people immediately what happens, those introductions are made even before you ever come to an event. And because Amber is one of the best networkers, if not the best in the world, she knows anyone that could help you. So you actually get to get on a phone with any like people at keynote major conferences like the founder co founder of Equinox in ours clickfunnels, clickbank like, like we have such powerful people in there that if you need something from anyone from like a nine to seven figure business you can be like hey do you mind looking at my Facebook ads? You do my looking at my this, my that and they'd be like absolutely. Because of the beautiful community Amber has built, people are generally want to be there to help each other which is why people ROI so much from it and the retention so high because people treat as a family and we all make a lot of money together.

I like it and when she told me about.

Felt like a perfect bridge from like you know, a lot of masterminds are just the business side of things or, or some are on the other side. You might have a little bit more wellness side or something like that, you know. But I feel like it is a nice blend and yeah, I'm happy that she's running it and that you're part of it as well. Yeah, a big part of it that is so. Well maybe that I don't know if there's like some because I want to get to kind of the now of what you're doing as well and, like, kind of the events that might have led to that point. You already mentioned the suicide thing, you know, and thoughts of that. What you. Going back is a decade. I know people can relate to that as well. That feeling.

What we do now, like, we're still doing heavily. Like, me and my business partner, we do heavily on the email and the whole funnel. Like, basically. Basically a growth partnership where we scale people's businesses. And when we come in, the first thing we tackle is, like, email, because it's the easiest way to make more money when. So over the summer, what just happened was I. We got out of a business relationship, which was just out of the blue. So that. That. That obviously was a big change for us. Then my grandpa passed away, who was, like, the closest family member I had outside of, like, my immediate family. And then I was in a relationship with someone that I thought could. I could have married and just was blindsided by. By that breakup. We had a very nice closure conversation, but it still was very blindsiding. But the, like, I feel significantly better now when I wasn't feeling better, because when it just happened, I reverted back into, like, a very dark state. And I.

Saw things bleak. Like, I saw things back a decade ago when things were really bad. And I remember I flew home as soon as I flew back to Maryland. I'm grateful to have such amazing parents because, like, I just couldn't be by myself. I remember I. Every time the phone was all, like, I wasn't looking at my phone or wasn't looking at the tv, I just got this, like. Like, creepy, crawly feeling on me. Like everything was tight and tingly, and it made me realize I wasn't comfortable in my own space. So I went to take a bath to try calming down, and I was in the bath, and I was, like, still trying to calm down. I couldn't really do it, and I just, like, closed my eyes and for whatever reason, the download of creating a podcast around mental health, but specifically for people in Miami, anyone can benefit from it. But, like, Miami Focus came to me, and what I realized was, like, as men, talking about mental health is, like, so not common in our circles. It is more. Thank God. Yeah, in Miami, you already have that stigma. It's a party city. Everyone's just flashy. So, like, that's even, like, a double whammy down there. That I wanted it to be a resource for people locally first, that if they ever needed something, they could be like, hey, I am not afraid to say that there was Two times in my life that I was suicidal. Here's what I did to overcome it. Here's a whole Rolodex of guests that have come on with things that they've done to overcome it. And I just want it to be a resource to help people. And I'm really excited about it. Cause it's gonna be kicking off in a few weeks, and it's just gonna be an amazing show.

Do you have a name for it?

No, not yet. It's like, I'm still waiting for that thing to hit. Like, at first it was like mandatory happy moments, but I was like, I don't know. I, I, it will, it will hit.

When it hits. Well, I want to shout it out because, like, the mental health aspect of, I mean, I've talked about it through entrepreneurship on here a lot. And, you know, my, I guess my relation to that is my dad committing suicide almost five years ago now. And like, yeah, right before I had the birth of my first daughter. So it was like two weeks beforehand, wild series of events. And it's, it was the first time, it wasn't my first time around suicide because I had one of my best friend's brother committed suicide. Then my friend, I think it was the trauma of that. He died way too young because of alcohol. So it was like this series of things. And then my dad and yeah, I quickly realized a lot of patterns. Like, a lot of things that I learned from him and my mom, you know, good and bad, whatever they are, but I didn't really know them or see them before. And going back to your mandatory happiness slash habits, I realized those were the things when he started dropping. Like my dad, in his case. I've said it a lot on, but I'll say it in here because, like, I think it's so important. It's like when you stop doing the things you love and that are ingrained in your life. Like, for him, he was running every day. He ran like five miles every day. He was social at work. And like, he quit work, quit running, play guitar and sang in front of people all the time, quit all that, move, location, hold up with a girlfriend, didn't communicate. It's like all these things. At the time, I was just like, okay, something's a little off, you know? And. But then afterwards, you're like, holy shit. Like, that's what makes someone happy, you know? And yeah, it's easy to slip. And it happens fast too. I, I think that's the craziest part. Can you relate to some of that? You Know in your dark times and.

Oh yeah, because especially. Cause you're like, I don't have the energy to do this, I don't want to do it. Or the bigger thing is I feel like a burden doing these things and I'm not going to be good energy going in, therefore I'm not going to be around. So that like the voice, I didn't get the voice this time. The voice a decade ago was really nice at first. It was like, you're not inconveniencing, you're actually helping people by not doing this. It wasn't like kill yourself from the beginning. It was a slow decline. It got me to trust it and I was like that. So I look back on that, I was like, holy shit. And to your point, that's. I think that's why like, like mandatory became such an important part for me. It was like, no, you have to do this. Like you have to do anything else. Like you have to pay your taxes, pay your credit card, whatever it is. There is penalties if you don't do this. You have to do your mandatory happy moments, especially if it's around things that you just love. So I love my mandatory happy moments to be around things non business related.

Yeah.

Because when I went through this spell, the one I was going through now, I really felt like a lack of self worth especially rooted. Like my whole identity was wrapped up into those, like those areas for sure. And then I heard someone say something like, if you're not happy with what you don't have, you'll never be happy with what you do have. And I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. So now it's been like, how do you fall back in love with you like me in this context? And your dream life will come from like doing that. So obviously it's so much easier said than done. But that was the whole like root of all this was like, don't let that voice get back in your head. That was a big thing I related to. So like if you make the things mandatory that you can't miss, it won't come back, dude.

And that voice. So I can't say that I've ever felt suicidal, but I could. I saw myself going with like, I saw how it was possible. I'll say that after, after my dad. But more it was like, I think it would be even more so after the change in business relationship with my old partner here, Matt, you know, co host. Because a lot happened up to that point. And then I saw, I was like, well, what am I gonna do like, what's my direction? And I think there was a. And for me, luckily family helped. Having having a kid at that point helped, you know, but like, being alone in that. And I know there's a lot of people these days that don't have a spouse. They don't. Yeah. I mean, it's like, it's. I don't know, man. It's tough. That's why I'm happy we're talking about this. Cause, yeah, that voice, I mean, you describe the voice, I'm like, that's like an enticing voice. And it's very believable.

It's very believable.

Scary, man.

I also think on another level too, like, like we were talking about a little bit earlier, like, men don't like to talk about this because we have this overly masculine frame. Like, if we mention this, like, we're weak. And.

That is something I really, like, wrestle with for. For like a long time.

So I'm gonna pause this really fast to go shout out another podcast that I think you should peek at yourself. It's called I Digress. It's hosted by Troy Sandage, and it's also brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals.

Thank you.

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A R T R A like men's suicide is the highest suicide amongst any, any group because like we are not really brought up on how to talk about it. I remember like, like sports. Like I'm grateful. I have a great relationship. My parents, I got the love and praise but in sports it was like, good job. Are you going to do it again? What do you do? For me lately, my first job was sales. My, my, my, my boss was amazing and it was also like great. You hit your numbers this month. Are you going to do it again next month? Like, like it's just like that. But I also loved that I, I feel I was, I, I, I, I thrived off of that energy. But I realized it wasn't conducive for me to be like, I'm not doing well. So therefore I had enough guys around me I could say I'm not doing well. Can we just like talk about this and like how are you doing? That's now shifted. But that's not a normal thing amongst men.

It's not. Let's talk about that man. Because I know a lot of, a lot of the people that listen. I know it's 75 + percent of people are men who are listening and watching. I know that surveyed, I've seen the stats and I think that's pretty common with entrepreneurship in general. I could be wrong, but at least I feel like in our space you see a lot more men. You know, I'm thinking of speakeasy, Mastermind, where we were and yeah, like the whole talking aspect, I think that's one of the most freeing. And even if it starts with like journaling, talking to yourself, you know, getting out whatever suppressed stuff in there that you might not have words for, I found at least for me. And I'll share this, but I'm really curious because I want to, I want to talk about this whole aspect of like, how do you open up and start the process? And for me, like I, I've been setting a timer and for a while, you know, just like let it flow as much as possible. Like don't try to impede the flow. I did that a lot back when it, you know, like when things were just feeling a little stuck and I, it's just the writing process and like messier the better I felt like that's when I'm more in flow. You know what? Is there something that you feel has helped you kind of get that permission to start talking?

Doing a lot of, like, breath work that fueled into, like, a static dance. There's a lot of that in Miami, where you just do like a breathwork yoga and then just be like a. Like a dance party afterwards.

That's sweet.

And actually also improv, too. Like, can all relate to each other. Just like a different. Just like, slightly different because it was like, I love about breathwork. It's just flushes out so much of what you have, and just like, you just feel so much in that moment. And then obviously when you dance, like, even though I have, like, the whole salsa bachata background, like, this is just like, you're just going wild and just like, you're just letting out all any inhibitions or things holding you back. And like, everyone looks stupid, Everyone looks silly, which means everyone looks beautiful. And that's after a few times, like, okay, like, everyone's doing this. So then you get over that. So you let your ego go. But improv allowed me to flow more the most because you just get something from the crowd, and then immediately you have to go, and you can't judge yourself. You don't even have time to think about what's going. You have to immediately step into that character and go. So what that was so good was my depression was rooted in overthinking.

Ah, okay.

And when I stopped overthinking, the more I was doing improv because I literally did not have time to overthink because, like, you'd be already on stage and the person would be like, we need a location. Right. Actually, we did a performance, and it was me and another dude, and someone from the crowd was like co workers at a gynecology gynecologist office.

Okay.

I never set foot once in there, but immediately I had to pretend like I was an expert. And here we go. And it was, like, so fun because I just got to make up whatever I thought was applicable. I didn't even have time to think, which allowed me just to be in flow.

Yeah, that's good, man. That's. Yeah, it's that. That call and response kind of thing. Yeah. You have no gap there. Or at least, like, you want to shorten the gap as much as possible because that's what keeps the funny going, you know, and the realness of it all. Yeah, that's therapy, man. That totally is therapy. Talk about that. And I want to go back to the breathwork. And dance too after this. But I want to hammer in on the improv because it's something I have not personally done, but I've heard this like public speaking. Anyone having blocks there? It's like, well, that'll get you out of your head, you know, more into your heart, into whatever it is. But yeah, like as therapy. How. How would you prescribe that? You not being a doctor, but like having the experience, you know? Yeah. How would you work it?

Like how it's impacted me.

Yeah, but as a therapeutic kind of thing, you know, like obviously you're. You said is it a daily thing for you or. Yeah.

So my improv class is once a week.

Cool. So what are you doing between then? Like, are there.

So there's like fun exercises you can do, you know, like one I said a kid, he's 10 years older than me. Someone in my class, a small child. Yeah, yeah, he like, he like, he, he was like, oh, cuz you want to be as. As quick thinking and like witty. So like one of the things is, is like I watch more standup and I watch like funny shows because again those people like, it's just like how they think super fast. But something else was like, for example, he, he was like, he was like, he's like what, what he does is he takes.

Instrumentals of rap songs and then he just like raps over it just for the sake of seeing how long he can go and doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. So it's like fun things like that. So like how can I make a song? Because you don't. Yeah, like I said, you don't have time to think. You just gotta, just gotta rest.

Yeah, I like that, like that rapping over. Because I, I do that just with my kids. Just like saying stupid stuff. But it's great stuff because then you know, do some beats or whatever. But I feel like when you have instrumentals, it's one less thing you got to think about and you could just, you could just riff and roll, you know, and I'm going to try that actually. That sounds fun.

It's so fun.

All this is so fun because this is something that there's a long time where I wasn't watching anything funny, you know, and maybe it's just like. Yeah, we. And I know a lot of us get into the grind of like gotta study this next tactic or this business strategy. So yeah, just the input of more funny in your life. I feel like when get. It just lightens everything, you know, it's just. You're wrapping fun into everything you do. At least you're thinking that way.

And you're also. You're more interesting. Like everyone you know, if you. If you ever meet someone because you're very social, you go to a van, you can immediately bond over movie quotes or song lyrics. You're like, okay, I'm gonna be friends with that person. It's just. It's just fun things. Like the more you. Again, same thought pattern. I used to be so anti that. Then I was like, well, actually, no, I actually do need to understand pop culture because then I can relate to someone at the beginning and then go much deeper. I remember one of the things I used to do when I got out of a rut, when I was in a rut a while ago was I had five topics that anytime I walked up to someone, I was like, okay, at least I can start in these combos. It would be applicable, but it would be like, I love, like breath work. I love like Harry Potter. Like, I love like salsa dancing. So it just you. I knew I could start different chains of conversations. And if the person's like, I love Harry Potter too. Great, Fantastic. Yeah, it's just a fun way of starting. But I was already talking about things I loved, so that means I was letting my endorphins and positive emotions come up and out.

Yeah, you're starting that one and you know it's going to lead to at least some kind of conversation you can keep going with and have fun with too. Yeah, that's cool, man. I like it. The. The pre. Framing it. I mean, you're. You're in control of that frame at that point. How about the. So breath work. I do a bunch of that. So let's riff on that for a little bit. Cause there's. I know there's so many styles of breathwork. And then the dancing part, that's something that I've been doing a little bit more on the shaking than dancing. I would say shaking, which is probably what you were kind of referring to. But like what? Like Wim Hof. I've talked about that. You know, I've done that for years. There's this guy I follow Breathe with Sandy on YouTube. He's cool. What kind of breath work stuff do you default to? Is there a technique or bounce around?

So one of our clients, they're called 9D breath work. They have phenomenal, like nine. The number D. Wow. I just. Yes. The number D. Nine and the letter D. And they have a phenomenal just like course. And what I Love. It's like I love the breathwork sessions where it's guided, but there's also like that, that motivational instrumental, like the Hans Zimmer like music behind. Because then your mind, like for me, my mind goes in the cinema. It. Yeah, my mind goes into action. Like, like I'm. I'm the hero in my story. And then for someone else it might be different. Like that may not be their style, but I love thinking about that stuff. So they have really great ones. Some are free, some are like the paid stuff you can get. But I love doing a guided, A guided breath work. I. I try doing at least one like three minute almost daily. Especially like in between calls. My mind is foggy because it really just helps me reset. And then I tried doing like a super long one like twice a month. And what I mean by super long one would be like a two hour session.

Nice. Okay, that's beefy.

Just feels so good afterwards.

So I did a, like a holotropic style. So I was just coming out of COVID and I was just in it still then and I was like, screw it. I'm just gonna do this one of this breathwork Sandy. I think it was 45 minutes, but at the end of it, my mind was buzzing the whole time, by the way. You know, it felt great. It's very psychedelic kind of feeling too. But I was like sweating, you know, like I went outside, it was at night and you know, I had my otter app out. So I was just like, I gotta get this off my chest. And just looked around at the stars as I was talking. I'm like, holy shit. These things are like popping out at me. Like it was, you know, it's all. You're high on Air on O2 and.

The. What? Shoot. I forgot the. My God, I totally blanked because I was reliving that at the time.

It's amazing.

Yeah, it's so good. Oh, that's what I was going to ask you, the whole three minute thing because I know a lot of people are hesitant to block off even 30 minutes, an hour, two hours, even. Like, what's your three minute strategy that someone can do between calls? Because that I think is super actionable. Anyone can try out.

So I mean, it's literally one of the free things. I can send it to drop it in the show notes. People can do it and great for 9D. Hopefully they'll get some clients that want to eventually pay. This, this is a free thing. But like, it's like their breathing technique is you inhale for six and then you exhale for four. And you're doing it like about, like. I think you're probably doing.

12, 10 to 12 of those in those three minutes. And you just feel just like. Like it's hard to describe. He's very like, okay, I'm good. I'm ready. Like, let's go. Like, it's. It's a. Yeah, you get out. I guess the brain fog is removed.

I've. I've done like so many Wim HOF type things before recording podcasts or, you know, between that is, because I'll usually stack two or three in a day kind of time. Block them out. And you're right. I mean, I like that approach too, because there's so many types out there. I think the thing is just try it, you know, for yourself. But I like the idea of, like, if you can add that into a daily routine or like a habit and you're feeling a little stuck, you know, I'll even do that on a walk. You know, it's like a just nice meditative kind of intentional walking. You know, it changes stuff.

You gotta find what works for you. Cause it's different for every person. There's different teachers, different techniques for it, but it works. It's just like breath work has been. It's like if I had to rank stuff, it's like breath work and then, then improv has been the two most impactful things that I've ever done to get me out of any bad, like, mental spot that I've ever been in.

Sick. Okay. Yeah. And how about dancing? Because. Yeah, dancing. The whole shaking thing, there's a. I was introduced to it for a reason. I'm curious of yours. I'll share mine after. But like, like dancing, I guess describe what that element is like. You said you mentioned breath work plus dancing. Like that combo. So. So what's that look like?

So at first it was like. The first dancing I got into was salsa and bachata, and it had a similar impact as improv because you didn't have time to think. You just like, had to like, go off of what you knew and just like feel and know how to move your partner around based on, like, how you're feeling in the song. The dancing that's incorporated into the breath work was like after you go through and you visualize like that person you want to be. Like, I've had some insane hallucinations that have come true and like in, in. In it. And then when you do the dance part, it's just like it's like you already let go all that negative energy, what's ever holding you back, and you just feel so light. It's absolutely crazy. It's like, you know, sometimes you get off a cruise and, like, you have sea legs still.

Like, sure.

It kind of feels like that. You're like, oh, my God. But then the dancing part helps you anchor it, where you're like, this is my actual self. This is my normal me. And the other version of me had just splotches on it based upon living beliefs and patterns I threw on myself.

So.

But this is me at my core. That's why I love breath work. It just clears out so much. And the dancing is, like, literally, like, removing it, the bad energy off of you.

Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, it's a good combo. And I haven't done the two of those, so, like, I've done, like, some shaking, you know, Basically, you're shaking. You know, you. Yeah, you look like a fool. And I haven't done it in a group, but I know some people will get in a group, you know, and sometimes yelling, too, to let that out, you know, Shake yellow. I mean, there's some YouTube videos that are fun to watch. You know, when you're not doing it, you're like, wow. But then you do it, and you're like. Like, I've had, like, tears come out. Like, everything kind of starts. You're just like, whoa, there's some kind of energy release happening here. You know, that that's. It's pretty epic.

I also want to make a point. Like, I recognize I'm coming at this, like, single dude, don't have kids, right? I'm. I'm 30. So being. If you're, like, listening to this as a parent, you're like, I don't have time to do all that shit. It's like, your mandatory happy moments could be whatever you want it to be. The idea is that it's mandatory built in. Like, the other things in your schedule are built in. So however you do, it doesn't need to be you actually going to a class. You just got to find whatever your thing you can consistently do is that makes you feel really good every time you do it.

Thanks for saying that, because, yeah, I, like, with kids is cool. And then I think of, like, my wife, and she has a whole different reality. She's also an entrepreneur, but with two kids primarily. So, like, the women that are listening and watching ain't forgetting about you either, because there's a whole reality that isn't discussed enough there of the, you know, it's the responsibility of taking care of other humans. Usually it's the woman doing a lot more of that. And like, I know I'm, I, I'm grateful that I can go over here and have this chat with you, but I know she's not having that as much, you know, and, and even someone, woman who is running her own business, you might be watching, listening, like you got a lot stacked on your plate. So it's like, yeah. Doing all these habits and like this perfect day, perfect morning routine. You're just like the am I get out of here.

Yeah, yeah. And I can't speak to that as a parent. So I, it's like hard. I, I never, I always hated when people tried giving advice. I'm like, you have no experience in this, so all I can say is figure out whatever you can to carve into your own.

Bingo. Yeah. Thank you. And that's the thing. I was like, I just want to splatter it out there. Of all the different ideas and things that have worked because it's all different for everybody. And if it's like three days of breath work, you can't get that two hour session. I get it. Go try it out, you know, when you're walking around. And trust me, I chatted with my wife a lot about that because she was resistant to breath work. I think it was because of the time commitment and just a little here and there. But I think the big thing, kind of going back to the communication side, you know, as like, as an entrepreneur, someone who's self starter. I don't know if I'm, I'm alone in this, but it's like you kind of feel like you have everything in your back and so you don't want to communicate. Maybe some of the tough stuff you're getting through or the things you're stuck on, it's hard to ask for help just in general, even if it's on business stuff, let alone all this other stuff. Like, are there. Yeah, like what? Other strategies for communication. I feel like that's one of the things that we can all try to do a little bit more for ourselves and others around us as well.

Yeah, I think it's twofold. So one, we're shifting towards branding being the most important thing, where there's a million people doing the exact same thing. So I could show you, like, let's say I was interested in doing your entire marketing. I could be like, here's 20 people that I've crushed it for. I'll generate a shit ton of money. You could be like, cool, but there still might be something in your mind of like, well, if I don't necessarily know him, like how, I'm not quite sure. Or we can meet at an event, we could connect. And I may not have the same amount of case studies. I might be more expensive than the other guy. But you're like, I like you. So what I found on the communication side is the more I'm actually like me. And it will like push a ton of people away, but it'll attract the right people that I want. And so that's why branding is so important. And on the communication side specifically, what I found was like just being so. Like, I found if you're an entrepreneur and you're struggling, let's say with deadlines, the at least the more you communicate as long as you get it done and obviously it needs to be in the right lens. But always tell the person you're working with if something's up. Don't skip the deadline and then be like, I'm sorry I had this going on. You can literally be like, this thing happened. I am so sorry. I might need an extra day to do it. But give them as much heads up as humanly possible because they will respect you more for doing that. They will be mad if you withheld the information and then tell them afterwards.

That's a good point. Yeah. It's always. It's the over communication thing. Right. And doesn't have to be granular details. You don't have to be sorry for whatever. It's just communicate and ask for that or just say what you need. I think a lot of people aren't upfront. You're right. And it feels good to do that too. When you let that out and have that, you're almost giving yourself permission for what you need to do for yourself.

As an entrepreneur, I get it. Like you're afraid that the client's gonna leave you or like just something's gonna fall. I know that feeling super well. And I found the warm up front with someone, the more they stay around and the more they're like, I'm working with you because you're good, but I really like you. And I really like you. I should say not. But versus like, you're amazing, but I don't connect with you. Like, it's just like that. When people like you, they're willing to stick with you for longer.

For sure. Yeah. And you don't have to be perfect through that process. No one is. But yeah, if you're. If you have that front that you gotta be perfect for everyone, good luck, man. That's a. The sorry time behind the scenes. So, two things, like, with your podcast, I'll start there. Like, what's the bigger mission there? Like, you know, Cause you're. You've done a lot up to this point. I'm sure you're. You're doing a ton still. But like, with the Mental Health Focus podcast, I don't even know if mental health is the right term for this. And maybe you have a different idea, but yeah, curious of what you want to get from and what you want others to get from that. And they don't wanna lead into what the future kind of looks like as well.

I know what I wanna get out of it is surrounding myself with more just amazing people. I got to a point where, like, I was doing well and I had such amazing mentors and I knew all. I knew so many, like, the tactics and the strategies on how to do that. But yet I was stuck at a similar income level and I was stuck at, like, the kind of same life, and it led me into, like, not feeling as worthy. And what I recognized, like, I wasn't super in love with, like, the life I built. On the outside, it looked amazing, but I wasn't as internally happy. And then I was like, all right, what do I love to do? And we mentioned some of it, but the other stuff is, like, having these kind of conversations. So I was like, all right, well, if I have more of these conversations and bring more amazing people in my life, that's going to obviously open so many more doors of things I love. So my intention for this podcast is to meet more badass people because I already have a huge network in Miami, but now have them come on and share. And the intentions for someone that's struggling to listen to it, to be able to get that help, the future vision of it is it could turn into, like, this being its own show. It could turn into future brand deals. It could turn into, you know, anything. It could like, like, the idea is I want to just build a brand that's dedicated to helping people. And then someone be like, oh, I know you have these skill sets. Can you help me do that? So those are, like, the three angles that I want to be playing in.

That's cool, man. Because that'll open up all sorts of doors for not only yourself, because I feel like with any kind of new show or endeavor, what's the selfish aspect? That's okay. You gotta fulfill yourself first. To fuel this thing. And then what's the bigger give back throughout that it's like the byproduct of that selfishness.

Yes.

Something I think about often. Maybe you got some thoughts on this is the future in general of. For everybody and mental health. You already mentioned men around our age, like I would say 30s, you know, you're, you're getting going. Mental health, suicide rates are the highest. But I know it's the case for a lot younger as well. And like hearing it a lot more in like teenagers and, and then my brain goes to. And I'm just giving you the framing for your thoughts is like, okay, you have things like AI coming around and I don't think most of the population is even aware of the impact of what that'll do in the day to day. Or maybe taking someone's job, they don't see it coming, basically changing the life as they know it. And it's probably more for the older, you know, maybe for the 30s or even older than that. I don't know. I'm just curious of like, what do you think the next handful of years look like? And do you have any other thoughts or ways to kind of address that to support folks that might be listening or maybe they can support others around them?

Yeah, I mean the way AI is rapidly, I mean it's already had such a huge impact on our society when it comes down to that. The thing that, that I have found that's giving me peace is like I got to just level up my skill set. Like I. Which is also good because that's with any other area of my life, I have to be as best as I possibly can, learn as much as I possibly can and then pass it down. Because yeah, if you become complacent, it's going to take you. That's just the reality of it. So for some people that will scare them. Some people be like, all right, I know what I got to do. And. But if you categorize it like you take care of your health, like you take care of like your family, just add it in to do more of that, how it's going to have a larger impact for generations. You know, it's. I believe it's going to drive more people to have to find authentic authenticity because everything's going to be so just AI generated, like what's actually true, what's not true. So I actually think we're going to swing back in the pendulum of community where people are gonna be like, I need to find people like me. And therefore there'll be a lot more people be searching and open. So, like, I grew up where my first phone was a razr and then the iPhone came out. And I remember, you know, like before that, obviously in the dinosaur ages, like you didn't have that ability, so you're just always connecting with people. And then obviously when I was in seventh grade when I got my first phone, when that started coming out, that's when we start being on our phone all the time. I think we're going to actually swing back because people are going to just be so used to, oh, this is AI. This is not real. I need to find more people like me. So I think we actually have a very unique opportunity to build communities where people are actually looking for connection.

I like that, man. Yeah. And, and I think that's what's needed the most. That's what fuels this whole AI thing anyway, is us humans, humanoids. It's like humanoids. We can't forget it, man. And, and I, I say it all the time or think about it all the time is like technology, of course it's speeding up and it's not going to slow down. And there's a lot of uncertainty that people have. I mean, there's a company I work with and the founder was on Fox Business the other day. I'll just shout it out. Delphi AI. It's like the whole cloning stuff, I think you probably met Dara. He was at Vegas with us and he was on Fox Business and has almost a half a million views on just his video alone. He interviewed his clone is what happened, which was hilarious and he did a great job and the host was great too. But the comments, there were 31,000 last I checked. Literally every single one of them. I didn't read everyone, but negative. Everybody's scared shitless. I want to go back to the payphone days or the analog phone, which, like, I get it, but at the same time I'm like, wow, okay, that's more of the public perception outside of our bubble, you know, of, of us, you know, the, the digital marketers, entrepreneurs, whatever, early adopters. And that's where my brain's been going. I'm like, holy crap. Like, there's a wild reality that's going to open up very soon. Like months, you know, a year maybe.

And yeah, seeing it, I guess we just need to be, continue to be the leaders around it. And I mean, it's going to change us so much. And for anyone that's like, oh, I understand AI. It's like.

No one does. Let's be honest.

I can use ChatGPT and Claude really, really, really well. But like, do I understand AI? Absolutely not.

That's right. Yeah. And I like what you said. It's leveling up. It's understanding it enough or at least how it can be a tool for yourself. Because my brain, it doesn't even go into like, what's all the cool stuff I could do. It's more like, oh no, how can I create a great life still using that tool and knowing that it can get better in a world where maybe people are thinking just the opposite or they're fearful, you know, Brett, dude, whatever next best step you want to tell people, lay it on me. If you got a website future podcast, something like that. What you got? What you got?

So if you want to make more money from your email list specifically and keep your emails out of spam, we have a completely free opt in which will actually, I'll drop the show note links and what happens is if you enter your email, you'll be sent an email and if you add this email into your email autoresponder, be the very first email you send out, it will not only increase your open rates, your click through rates, but also make you more sales and keep your emails out of spam. It's been proven for a ton of our clients. It's specifically designed to get the most important thing that Gmail looks for to get the person to respond to it. And that's, that's making sure Gmail is happy. So I'll send you the link to our opt in and then you'll be able to get that plug it in, make more money from your list. If you want to also learn about mental health stuff, especially in Miami, if you're local, follow me on Instagram, which be Brett. B R E T T Kaufman K A U f m a n 26 the numbers also drop that here and then yeah, this, this bad boy is going up just a little bit. We got the wall up, we got the art coming in. Like, I am excited. It's going to be super fun. It's something that I've always wanted to do, but I think I was always afraid to do it. But it's like, it's like, okay, like a lot of shit happened this summer. So it's like old Brett had a die, new Brett has to be born. Like, let's go, let's make it work.

Do it, man. I'm proud. I'm happy for you. I know you're proud of yourself. For doing the dang thing, man. And, yeah, send me the links. We will shout it out. Shout it out in the intro and stuff, so it's easy to find and throw it in the show notes. Thank you, brother. It's been fun.

Sam.