Gabby Bernstein - Tools To Get What You Want And Free Your Mind

Our physical pain is a manifestation of our impermissible rage and the impermissible feelings that we have not allowed to come forth. And so she gave me this prescription that was kind of straight out of the Sarno book, but she'd adapted it and she called it Journal Speak. I've renamed it for myself. Rage on the page. And I added a little bit to it. But this method that she suggested was just so profound for me. And I've been doing it now for probably 67 days. I think it's about now. And it's given me life. So here we go.

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

What's up everybody? You're listening to the Hustle and Flowchart podcast with your boys, Matt Wolf and Joe Fear. Hello.

Hi there.

Is this thing on?

This thing is on, but your Skype open. So I think we're still on though. Yeah. Today was an interesting day of tech gremlins.

Yeah.

So that was fun. And so we had Gabby Bernstein on the show and she was freaking awesome.

Amazing.

Amazing and awesome. I think your microphone needs to get a little taller.

That's why I leaned down to talk into it.

Doing the old school stuff.

Want to adjust my microphone cuz it's in the perfect setting for when I'm sitting and now that I'm standing, I don't want to like lift it up higher. Cuz then when I go to sit it won't be in the right place.

Oh.

So I'll just lean down and talk into it.

All right, I'll do this after. After our tech gremlins worked out, we finally got to a great episode.

Yeah, we did.

Zoom. You failed today. Skype surprisingly came through.

Yeah, this, this, this was definitely an episode where, where Joe probably had a little more line of questioning than I did. When it comes to the mindset y like mental game kind of stuff, a lot of times I actually struggle to figure out where to take the conversation.

We're gonna work on that.

And you are like, I know where to go on this and you know the opposite is true when it's like a technical thing and I'm like diving into like Facebook ads and CPMs and tactics and numbers and stuff. Like I kind of tend to have a little bit more thought outline of questioning. This is one where it was definitely a little more. Joe knew where to take the conversation and I was kind of going, I'm not. This is not my world. Really.

I'm not going to take credit that I knew where to go. I will say that. And to Gabby's point, It's almost like I'm guided. I don't know by what, but definitely. And that's how I feel like the. It's the hustle coming out, bro. I'm the hustle of the hustle and flow chart. There's a reason for it. No, but seriously, I think it's just serious. There's like a. There's a couple of points like I was explaining to Matt prior to this because this is typically the case with more mindset y or more, I guess I won't even call it theoretical, but less tactical, I guess, conversations. Yeah, I'll do more of the leading, which is totally cool. You know, I have a good time. But I do want to make sure I'm like, how about this? Like, like, I think I'm. I'm more like a prompter of you, like in some scenarios, but it works. So it's all good. Yeah.

I got a couple questions in there. I got a couple in.

I think you got into the meat of a heart of some things, actually. And that's typically, I feel like where you shine in these types of scenarios.

Yeah, no, but it was a great combination conversation. It was a great conversation. You know, Gabby's energy is amazing. She's just like very, you know, very peppy, very positive. Obviously it makes sense. Her book is all about how to sort of always kind of stay in that positivity mode for sure.

So if you've been living under a rock.

No foul fault at all. But Gabby Bernstein or Gabrielle Bernstein, she's written, I think she told us eight books. I didn't know it was that many. I knew it was a lot. Newest book is called super methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams.

New York Times best selling author. And she's done work with Oprah and Deepak Chopra. Yeah.

Dr. Wayne Dyer.

Wayne Dyer. Dr. Oz. I mean, amazing work. I've been following her for a long time, read multiple books. My wife has turned you on to some of her books.

I just got done reading Super Attractor last night.

She's awesome. So it was a massive honor to have her on the show and for us to just figure out where because there were no constraints on this Chad chat, which I thought just makes it for a great call, you know, so.

Once all this, we'll have her back one day. Hopefully she'd like to be back because I'd love to take the conversation even deeper. We did have a little bit limited of a time window due to the so called tech gremlins.

It's all good. We made the most of it. And she was awesome with it, too, so props to you, Gabby. She recommended, I mean, so many amazing books. So I'm not even going to get super attractive because that's hers. Or actually, she said, just check her out in whatever feels right because there's so many of them.

She also recommended a book called the Judgment Detox, which is another book of hers, which she said, in the current environment that we're in right now with the COVID stuff, with the, you know, all the rioting and all of the crazy stuff that's going on in the world right now, that the Judgment Detox is really probably out of her books. The one to be checking out right now, Super Attractor is just her most recent book.

Right, right, right. And Judgment Detox just. She said that preface. That is a book that most people don't get through because it involves work. But that's where the good. I read something recently or heard something, but I don't know if it was Rich Sheffrin, but basically, it's like, if you're going to actually crack open a book and do the thing, I think it was Rich. It's like, commit to it, do it, do the work. So, I mean, it's a pretty damn good challenge. I know. We told her straight up, all right, we're going to do it, do the work. And she said, thank me later. We will. So I challenge you to do the same. But in this call, I don't think we even need to list out everything. I think the core of this thing was she gave us some very practical tools and practices that all of us can take to really work through some tough shit that we're all going through in our personal lives. And a lot of that's being uncovered right now because many of us are locked at home or been locked at home, and we're kind of like, now in this new world, even though it might kind of look the same in some regards, it's different.

Yeah.

And it will be different. So this is like, a perfect time to do this work.

Well, there's this whole philosophy that you and I have been discussing a lot lately of. Of you need to enjoy the journey. Right? Like, if you're so fixated on getting to a destination that you are just all hustle, hustle, hustle, grind, grind, grind, till you get to the destination, but you're not enjoying the journey. The destination May8, May A, May never come, and B, probably won't feel that great when you get there. So you need to be enjoying the journey. And that's been where most of my sort of inner work has been. Has been just really working on myself and trying to enjoy the journey even when it's hard. Enjoy the hard parts, find the benefits of the pain that we're going through in the hard parts and really kind of enjoying that journey. And I think talking to Gabby here on this episode, she gave some real practical, tactical, actionable tools that you can use to help re shift your brain whenever you find yourself not enjoying the work, not enjoying what you're doing on a daily basis. She gave us some tools on exactly how to sort of reframe and reshift back into that place.

Yeah, yeah. And they're very simple tools too. But again, the work is the part that you got to do, you know. So I think. I think we get into this thing. We're taking notes on this episode, as always. So they're free two weeks from the time this thing goes live. You can get them at hustleandflowchart.com comp c o m p. That's hustleandflowchart.com Comp. Yep. And you could text if you so desire. The numbers 38470 is the number to text and just write the word comp C O M P. And you'll get the notes that way too.

Yes, sir.

Other than that, anything else?

Matt, before we flowchart group.com is poppin.

Poppin. Yeah, that's our Facebook group with a lot of the guests that we bring on this show. Almost all the awesome listeners that are that are here with us. There they go. Join that free Facebook group, flowchartgroup.com it's just a cool. It's like basically where we put all the best of that aren't on this show. It's like an extension of this show, basically. Yeah.

Lots of cool tutorial and tips and bonus interviews and just us answering questions for people and just all sorts of good stuff. Go check it out. It's free flowchart group.com and I want.

To shout out the one thing. And this is at the very end of the episode. So I don't want to make sure that. I want to make sure that people hear. This is. Gabby is super freaking pumped up on this new IGTV.

Kind of sessions that she runs. I'll let her describe it, but it's called Dear Gabby and I think she's making a website. She'll get the link for you. It'll be in the show notes. There's probably a lot of Links actually in the show notes so check them out over at our just hustleandflowchart.com find Gabby's episode. But check out Dear Gabby because she's frickin pumped. Yeah. So that's something to check out on her igtv. All right.

All right, let's get into it.

Let's do it. Gabby, we are live. How you doing?

I'm doing good, guys. I'm doing good.

Yeah, we're all doing the best we can right now in these interesting times.

Strangely. I'm doing pretty good though. I feel pretty good.

Same. Well, maybe that's from. I think Matt and I recently finished your book so that probably help helps a little.

Damn solid methods in there. And we were just kind of. Matt and I have actually been nerding out on a lot of what you've been talking about for a while. All the different the choose again method and all actually is probably the favorite of ours just because it's so freaking easy to use for pretty much any scenario. But that's jumping into it. Let's talk about you a little bit because I want to make sure our audience totally understands who you are, your background, where you came from. Even though they should know. They will pretty soon give us a little scoop on kind of you've done a lot in business and a lot in the spiritual world. And just actually originally it was my wife that introduced me to you because of infertility and all that. My wife went through the same exact thing are very similar that turned into diving into Universe has yous Back. I shared it with Matt and he's like holy mo. This is interesting and different because you aren't always reading that kind of stuff. So let's get into Take us back in time a little bit and then we'll kind of take it from there.

Sure. I've been a spiritual teacher for 15 years. In that time I have really had a very devotional personal growth practice. And it started when I was 25 and I got clean and sober. So at 25 I kind of hit a big bottom. I had been really starting my career and my life path on the wrong foot, looking for my happiness and my well being and my and my sense of self worth outside of myself, which was a real big search and it landed in a bad cocaine addiction and alcoholism. But thankfully I was able to get myself sober and in my sobriety. I started to reclaim a lot of my spiritual beliefs and the spiritual foundation and I got very grounded in my faith and.

My understanding of what a spiritual connection meant to me. And then I began giving talks and coaching and writing blogs and soon writing books and built a not just a career but a mission driven life around the pursuit of helping other people crack open to a spiritual connection of their own understanding. And in that pursuit I have had the privilege of publishing now eight books and becoming.

A voice to help people. Really a rock and tour. I just tell lots of stories about how to lean into love and the ways out of our fear based programming. And that's what I've been doing for the past 15 years and I will continue to to do for the rest of my life. And it's just a privilege to be able to do this work.

Yeah, no, it's interesting. A couple of things just stood out to me. Well, the fear based, I mean I think that's just. Would you say that's kind of like a natural default that a lot of us have with some programming from the past and probably not aware of it?

Yeah, fear really runs our lives. Every choice we make, every experience we have is based on fearful experiences from our history that have defined who we are today. Now does that mean that every corner of our life is backed with fear? No, not necessarily. But the areas where we have experienced energetic disturbances or the inciting incidents that create a belief system that make us feel unlovable, unworthy, not good enough. And those belief systems are very ingrained in our psyche and in our subconscious as well. And without having any awareness of those belief systems, we are pretty much living trigger to trigger and just finding different coping mechanisms to manage that uncomfortable experience, to manage that discomfort, to manage those belief systems. And ultimately when those coping mechanisms are taken away from us, we're left with having to deal with them. That's kind of where we may be at today given the, you know, the coronavirus and being at home and sort of stuck without some of our typical coping mechanisms, many of us right now are faced with, whoa, I got to look, look at my stuff. I got to look at myself now. Wow, I didn't want to do that.

It's good point because I feel like I heard, I was watching Eric Thomas et on YouTube and I like some of the stuff he puts out there. And he was saying that Covid, specifically in this lockdown is almost like it's forcing all of us to do the work that we've been ignoring or we might have just not examined. And I know that's true for myself and it sounds like that's what you're saying here with the fears like these things that we Might have just passively or pushed away and not just like, come on, you know, but now we're like, okay, shit, we got some stuff to examine and like, all's not right, you know, and it's a good time to do that.

Well, I think we're left having to face ourselves and we're left when things feel out of control, people get really tough, triggered and activated and all the patterns and addictive patterns and behaviors might start to show back up and panic disorders and anxiety and a lot of the feelings that are the unhealed parts of ourselves that I like to refer to as the disowned parts of our shadow that we haven't had the willingness to face now our being planted in our face. So we have two choices. We can numb out further through the, you know, through drinking or through TV or gaming or whatever the ways that we can numb out. Or we can go there. My hope is that more and more people choose to go there when I say go there. Get into the inquiry, get into the exploration, maybe open a self help book, maybe get on a call with a therapist, maybe join a support group, maybe listen to a podcast like this. Do something to explore the deeper parts of your psyche that may need to be developed at this time. Particularly in order to feel safe, in order to feel secure, in order to feel grounded and have a sustainable experience right now.

Yeah, no, it's true. I mean, because you mentioned programming, we're walking around with these things that are passed on from not only society around us, but from folks, our generations before us, our lineage.

How would you guide folks right now? And these are business folks, but we're all people. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. How would you start to identify those things and then start to course correct if possible?

Well, I think the first step is to really recognize and identify the ways that we may be stuck in those belief systems that are holding us back. So we all have a story. We all have different fear based stories that are really funky, right? So there may be that story of financial insecurity, or maybe there's a story of a body image condition, or maybe there's a story of I'm incomplete without a partner. And when we start to pay attention to the stories that keep showing up and kind of blowing up in our face, that's when we start to really have a greater awareness of what needs to be healed. And the first step to healing, a behavioral pattern or a thought pattern is to witness it and to look at it and to notice it. And to identify how it makes you feel and the ways that it's, you know, creating disturbances energetically for you. So the first step being to identify and witness what it is, that is the belief systems and the thought systems that are keeping us, us stuck in those patterns. And the next step is to really begin to allow yourself to let yourself off the hook and forgive yourself for having those thoughts. And I've just jumped into this method that I call the choose again method that you both have said that you admire. So I'm going to give it back to you. So step one was witness the thought. Notice the negative fear based thought. How does it make me feel? What is this thought that I have on repeat and how does it make me feel? The second step is to forgive yourself for having the thought. So when we forgive ourselves for having these thoughts, what happens is that we no longer believe that we are the thought. We see ourselves as when we have a thought that's on repeat, it becomes a belief system. But when we forgive ourselves for having the thought, we start to see, oh wait, that's not, I am not that thought. It's just a thought that keeps thinking, but it's not who I am. And sometimes you want to be like, I can't forgive myself for having that thought. But maybe they can forgive the thought, maybe they can just look at the thought and say forgive that thought. So that dismantles the attachment that we have to that perception of who we think we are. And the third step is the most fun step which is to reach for the next best feeling thought. This is the step where we choose again where we reach for the better thought. So if the thought we keep thinking is, I'm so financially insecure, I'll never have money again, I'm terrified. We forgive ourselves for having the thought. Then we begin to reach for the next best feeling thought. Well, I have some space right now because I'm on unemployment and I have in this space I can start to discover new ways to have creative possibilities for earning. And I do have a lot of relationships in my field and I can reach out to those relationships to see if there's some part time work. And this clear head may give me the opportunity to do more purpose driven work. At this time you see where I'm going. You just start to reach for the thoughts that you believe in. And you reach and reach and reach until the point where you get yourself out of the negative momentum of the fearful thought and back into a positive flow with a more energized way of perceiving the situation. Now, I'm not suggesting that you take a difficult situation and pretend like it's gone. What I am suggesting is that you lean into the ways that you can perceive it differently.

Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense. And it's almost like you're coming at it. You're addressing an emotional thing with a very logical standpoint. And it seems like that is enough. If you can kind of separate those, it might allow that. Abraham Hicks, I know calls it forking. Right when you start, keep going, going, going with the positive, like what you were just doing, you kind of get on a roll because it just flows. And it's interesting because it feels fucking good once you get in that zone.

It does feel good. And so much of my book, Super Attractor, is based on the principles of Abraham and the idea that what we give attention to, we create more of. And so when we really are proactive with the ways that we're thinking and proactive with our conscious contact with a spiritual connection with a better feeling vibration, we begin to change the course of our life. And that doesn't. Some of my belief systems differ from Abraham in that I do believe in going into some of the difficult things. And that's step one of the Choose Again method. Look at it, notice it. How does it make me feel? And I also do believe in deep, deep subconscious work. So I think that every teacher may have their own way of perceiving different ways of using different methods that will get to the same result ultimately, which is peace. And so.

I love the practices of the Law of Attraction, and I also love deep therapeutic trauma healing practices that might be quite the opposite of the Law of Attraction. But I believe that they do have a single pointed intention and that they're in the pursuit of the same goal.

Right. Yeah, no, it's totally true.

How would you say for folks who might struggle to maybe detach from that themselves a little bit with the logical questioning our analysis, because I know journaling is a huge piece for both Matt and I, of course, meditation and just kind of thinking with yourself. Are there ways that you would help folks kind of almost detach a little bit from a potential spiral because a lot of folks just kind of can't get out of it.

I've been doing. You said journaling, and I'm going to give you guys something very cool. So I've been doing this thing. I did an interview about a month and a half ago with a girlfriend of Min named Nicole Sachs, and she teaches a lot of The John Sarno, Dr. John Sarno's work, and he wrote the book Healing Back Pain and the Mind Body Prescription. And all of his work is based on the fact that our physical pain is a manifestation of our impermissible rage and the impermissible feelings that we have not allowed to come forth. And so she gave me this prescription that was kind of straight out of the Sarno book, but she'd adapted it, and she called it Journal Speak. I've renamed it for myself. Rage on the Page. I like it, and I added a little bit to it. But this method that she suggested was just so profound for me. And I've been doing it now for probably 67 days. I think it's about now, and it's given me life. So here we go. You journal for 20 minutes about the rage, and then you meditate for 20 minutes. So the journaling is just getting everything onto the page. And that's why I call it Rage on the Page. And she calls it Journal Speak. I think she has a more elegant way of referring to it.

You just cut right to it.

Rage on the Page is more my style. So I rage on the page for 20 minutes and I just get everything out. Even if I don't think I have rage that day, I always do. And so you just get into it and whatever it might be, like, why did I eat that thing this morning? Or that asshole on Instagram or whatever it is that needs to get out. And usually that asshole on Instagram represents your high school teacher, whatever it is. And you'll get to it after the 20 minutes, okay? And you just get it out, get it out, get it out. And then you do a meditation for 20 minutes. Now. Now what I also do is I put on bilateral music, and this is the part that I added. So I'll listen to the binaural beats, right? So you can just go on my Spotify and you can look for my Rage on the Page playlist. You can put it in your show notes if you want. And there's this binaural music. And what happens when you listen to the. I practice a therapeutic method called emdr. And this music is just the similar. It is emdr. It's stimulating two different each side of the brain. And so when you start to stimulate.

The bilateral brain functioning, what happens is it allows the resource part of your brain to begin to access some of the information that was so stored, hidden, and in many ways dissociated from. And not only access, but process, and it allows your brain to unpack what has been hidden. So I have been doing that. I listen to the music while I'm writing and I listen to it while I'm meditating. And for me, man, let me tell you something. I was having some sleep issues. Now I'm sleeping 10 hours. Whoa, good for you. I go to bed at nine and I wake up at like six. So, you know, whatever, I gotta get.

In my routine, dammit.

Nine is not most people's vibe. But I just get tired at that time and I take advantage. And I've had sleep issues in the past because I struggled with postpartum depression, which led to insomnia. And so I really didn't think I would be able to. To get back to sleeping properly. And I had so much fear and PTSD around it. And one of the big parts of my healing was this rage on the page to really heal, among many other things, hypnosis and EMDR and things I did to really just heal the trauma of that experience. But this rage on the page, I can't emphasize enough how effective it is. And Nicole Sachs, it's her process and she calls it journal speech.

I love that. I have a question. Going back a minute ago, you mentioned actual physical pain. And I notice a lot of times when I'm in a not great mental state and I want to get myself out of the mental state. A lot of times I'm in physical pain. I get neck pain a lot. And I'll be in physical pain and I'll try to redirect my thoughts towards positive thoughts. But then the pain in my neck starts to kick in. How do I get out of that cycle of. Of kind of noticing the pain and then just kind of getting back in my shit, so to speak.

So the pain is there. So this is the base. What I'm about to share is based on the work of Dr. John Sarno. It's profound work and neck and back and gastrointestinal issues and a lot of the common physical conditions that we are plagued with, what we refer to often as chronic pain, according to Dr. Sarno, is like, as I said, impermissible rage. She calls it tension meiosis syndrome. Tms. I believe that's exactly how he says, yeah, tms. And the concept is that you don't have neck pain, you have tms, which is rage, anger. And it's not just about the moment, it's about the underlying feelings that you have not fully expressed. Now in the moment, those feelings are being triggered. Right? And so what the brain is doing is saying, that's too Much. I don't want to deal with that, that subconscious, that unconscious rage, right? That's too much for me. I'm gonna put it onto my neck so I don't have to deal with it. Okay, and here we go. Chronic pain. Okay? Now, it also literally is creating inflammation in the body because the brain, in those moments stops sending oxygen to those parts of your body. So there is actually an inflammatory response. It's not like this is just.

A mental condition. There's a physical, painful thing happening because the brain is no longer sending oxygen to that area. So the first thing you can do is notice. Just like I said before, notice, oh, my neck's out. Okay, my neck's out. But that's not because I have a neck problem. That's my impermissible rage. That's my impermissible fear. Just call it tms, whatever you want to. If you do the Sarno work, you'll start, and there's my TMS again, and you call it out. You literally notice it. Then you would talk to your brain and you'd say, brain, send oxygen back to my neck. Okay? And then in the moment, you'll start to know. You probably likely will start to notice a lot of relief just from that. But what the longer term goal is is to do something like Rage on the Page, which is another Sarno, which is a Sarno technique that Nicole adapted. And then I've adapted further. But that rage on the page technique is, you know, the bigger work is about really clearing and healing that energetic disturbance, whether it's through Emotional Freedom technique or emdr, or Rage on the Page or therapy, whatever it is that you do to really get to the root cause condition of why you are so triggered in the first place. Because something that activates your neck pain wouldn't activate your friend's neck pain the same way it would for you. Because we all have different reasons for being activated and so. And then the different places that we send it. So you'll notice the patterns as well. You'll notice, and I'm sure you do already. You'll notice, oh, wait, my neck is hurting right now. Oh, what have I been thinking about? What have I not been thinking about? What have I been avoiding? What's up for me, if you start doing rage on the Page regularly, that neck pain might not even come back.

And you do a lot of journaling, so without your focus.

Yeah, but I've never done a lot of the journaling from the rage perspective. It's almost more like observational journaling. I'm Just sort of journaling about what's going on in the world around me, but not from, like, that rage perspective. But maybe I just. I don't have. I haven't given myself that outlet for the rage. Like, I haven't allowed that to come out. And maybe that's some stuff I should start journaling on.

Well, it's definitely. I would think it's the. That's the hard stuff to get out. It's almost like we naturally want to ignore the. The rage and the fear. And again, we're kind of like right in the middle of it all, you know, like, we're forced to look at it in a lot of cases. And it's like freedom, because, I mean, Gabby would probably say is like, you know, it seems like a lot of us just want to ignore that stuff. And, you know, when we put it on a page, like the rage on the page, a lot of us won't make time for that specifically. It's on the page and it's like, okay, well, it's now kind of. It's not disassociated completely, but it just feels different. And, you know, I've never been totally focused on rage on the page, but definitely, if I'm at a shitty mind space, throw it on paper and just kind of stream a thought, whole different outcome comes from that. And I was just thinking some of the notes here. It's the whole let the universe kind of allow things to come in or whatever you want to call it, folks listening, that you connect with. But it's like you almost relax a little bit more. At least for me, after doing that, it just releases this tension back to.

The neck thing 100%. And that's why the meditation part is so important, because you want to be in a meditation after you've had that experience of just that cathartic experience of raging or releasing or whatever might come through. And then in the meditation, it's very restorative. So if you're listening to that binaural music or bilateral music, it will just start to balance you. It will start to give you a lot of peace. And sometimes you might even just go into the such a state that you feel like you're sleeping, but you're not. And even if you're really activated, you could lie down and place your palms facing upward and just let the relaxation response take over, which will also help your physical body as well. So that brings us to meditation, which is probably the most important thing that we could be doing right now, is developing a very Devoted meditation practice of our own. Something that we can rely on.

Yeah. Can you? So for folks, a lot of folks we've talked about meditation slightly on here. Matt and I both have our own types of practices. But what's one that you would suggest, folks who maybe just don't have a habitual practice of meditation, what would you guide them to?

Just really, I mean, the simplest way to begin a meditation practice is just to become conscious of your breath. And really right now what we need most is breathing into our feelings as well, because so many people are running from their feelings. So if you began a meditative practice where you just allowed yourself to breathe into your heart and breathe into your body, wherever you may hold that tension or whether you, wherever you may be holding on to emotional pain, just breathing into that space and then hold for a moment, hold the feeling, hold the breath, and then on the exhale, release it fully and completely. And then give yourself another moment or two to hold and breathe it in again deeply and feel everything that comes up with it. And then hold it for two seconds and release it again and hold it for two seconds. Just something as simple as connecting to your breath through and to your feelings through a contemplative practice is transformational. Just that alone, I mean, I could teach you, sit here and teach you 45 different meditations today, but that would be the best place to start.

Yeah, no, that's good. And I know in the book Super Attractor, you have tons of meditations in there and like really in depth ones too.

And when you're doing your meditation immediately after doing your sort of 20 minute rage on the page, are you thinking about what you were just raging about or are you just trying to shut all of that out now? And this is the point where it's like, okay, I've unloaded that now. Let's just. It's out of my system. Just focus on the breath now.

You know, I believe that when you meditate, you never want to try to shut it out. I think you let it come and then you return to your breath. Or if you use a mantra when you meditate, you can let that come and then you can return to your mantra. It's about letting the feelings and thoughts come and go, but the moment that we start to shut them out, using your words, which was really effective. Thank you. Shutting them out, actually, resistance creates persistence, right? So if we start to resist, we have more of what we're resisting. So the intention here is to let it be, let it come, let it go, let it come. Let it go. Return to the breath. Return to the mantra. Go off into a negative story. Return to the mantra. It's just a different relationship to our emotions and our negative thoughts.

It's less shaming of ourselves, and it's less resistant, really, is the word resistant, I think.

I don't remember if it was Naval Ravikant, but I was listening to somebody on a podcast, and when he was describing meditation, he sort of described it as not trying to completely shut up your brain, so nothing is coming through it. It's more noticing what's going on in your brain. And meditation is the process of noticing that these things are entering. And then once you realize they're entering, just kind of acknowledge them. Try to push them to the side or. I don't remember the exact wording, so don't think that this is exactly what Naval said, but it's more a process of noticing your thoughts and sort of being aware of them than it is trying to shut out all of your thoughts completely.

Yeah, words like shut or push or like, we then are just sort of back in that energetic place of trying to control our situations and our circumstances. And the gift of meditation is that whatever thoughts do come through is okay. So sometimes you might have meditations where you have no thoughts at all, and you're so connected and you feel so deeply relaxed and zenned out. And then there's other meditations where you might notice your thoughts coming and going and coming and kind of haunting you, and that's okay, too. That's what. In Transcendental Meditation, that's what they would refer to as. As an active meditation. And tm, Transcendental Meditation, you use a mantra. And so if you detour into those negative thoughts, you just return to the mantra. And if you have a lot of thoughts in a meditation, that's okay. It's just an active meditation. There's a lot up for you that day. There's stuff that needs to be resolved. Let it come, let it go. Return to the mantra. Return to your breath, whatever it might be.

Yeah, because I've definitely dealt with that and loosening the grip. When I was reading that in the book, forget the exact chapter that it just kind of hit, I was like, man, because I know I'll cling tight to a lot of random things, but the practice, and I think it's consistent practice, like you said you were about day 62 or something like that, on the rage on the page and all that. Yeah, I did a journaling practice starting at the beginning of the year, and I think I got a specific practice about three months in and I was like, holy crap, this is profound. And I just started letting go of a lot of, of the baggage and crap that I was just holding onto. And a lot of that shows up in business too. If it's personal life, the folks in business right now listening, it seems like a lot of this can probably resolve some weird, like you said, money issue or something. Maybe there's a team issue with the people that work with you or whoever. Typically it sounds like it's some underlying personal thing you might have going on.

Yeah. When the coronavirus, when the COVID stuff started to really hit, you know, everyone was activated. Like everybody, everybody, everybody. Doesn't matter how spiritual or aligned or perfectly meditative you are, you are activated. Okay. And so I, you know, started freaking out on my team and like, you know, like all hell was breaking loose. And. And then I was on the phone with my therapist. My therapist is like, you know, I don't think little 10 year old Gabby should be running the business.

I was like, yes, 10 year old Gabby probably, probably should get out of my business.

So is that when like the rage on the page kind of kicked off.

For you or that's when the rage really kicked into high gear? Let me tell you, I went full speed ahead. It was at that time that I began that practice. And I think, Nicole, every day it was so grateful. I'm so grateful. It's just been really supporting me.

Yeah, no, it sounds amazing. And it's perfect for probably everyone listening right now. It's like, come on, man, we're under this weird. And obviously now there's even the social movements happening right now. There's just pressure everywhere. And it doesn't matter who you are, you're in it or location, it doesn't matter either. And for business now we have this team and we have this mission. You're mission driven. A lot of us are. That's going to affect that potentially. So it's really this simple? I don't want to call it simple because it can be difficult to start this thing like rage on the page. So damn profound, it seems like, you.

Know, I don't think that.

These things are profound, but they're simple. And that's the thing about having a career where I have this opportunity to share prescriptive methods. Because I've lived them, I've practiced them, I've made them my own, and then I've simplified them because I know that people don't want to work, they don't Want to, they don't want to. And frankly, you know, the freedom and the happiness and the joy I have has been the reflection of a tremendous amount of inner growth work. But it's because I've allowed myself to enjoy the process even when it's very difficult. So when we start to reframe spiritual practice or personal growth practice as our pathway to freedom, but not something that's going to be so difficult and so much work. That's when we start to see the simplicity of so much of it.

I want to go back to a couple of things you mentioned way at the beginning of this thing. Spiritual connection. I know a lot of folks will for a long time I wasn't connected to. It's so weird. I was just telling Matt the word God.

It turned me off for some reason. I had no reason. I know nothing against but I just didn't and feel attached. And then universe feels a lot more alike. But like love connection. How would you suggest someone who feels like they might be disconnected and not feel like they have this kind of greater thing out there? How would you allow them to find that? And how did you too? Because I mean you were going through a lot and you were 25 like you said. Is there a way that you guide people to find a connection that just feels right to them? Them?

Yeah. Every single one of my books is about teaching people to crack open to the awareness of a spiritual connection of their own. So while I tell stories and give methods that have been applied in my own life and I share my own God concept or concept of what it means to have a higher power, the universe, whatever you choose to call it.

I don't expect my reader or my audience member to have the same faith as me. Many people come to my work. It's totally non denominational work. So people can come to my work from different religions or different spiritual practices or paths. And so it's really just about. I always say I don't care what you call it. I just care that you call upon it. And so that when we decide and in my book I think it's universe or maybe it's Super Attractor. I can't remember in one of them. In Super Tractor I think I give the reader this chance to write a faith statement. No, it's in universe I think.

They decide like what is my faith? What does it mean to me? And that will develop and that will change. And the freedom around that is what makes it work.

So much of this is semantic. So much of this is about people's Religious upbringing that may make them feel fearful of the word God or even the opposite, fearful of the word universe. Who cares about the words? Just establish a sense of inner awareness. You can call it inner guidance, you can call it higher self, you can refer to it as your own inner wisdom. But it's the voice of love, not the voice of fear, that we are aiming to connect to. And there's a lot of ways to believe that we're making that connection. And I honestly don't care what people call it or how they think they're getting there, but just that they do get there on their path.

That's awesome. Yeah, no, thanks for saying and clarifying that because yeah, it's us humans being humans trying to put labels on everything. It seems like, right, like semantics get in the way of just like just be good, just feel good and do good shit, like, and be happy, you know, and does that like. So you mission also, the second thing was the mission driven life and business that you now run, but it didn't sound like you always had that. Was this a big piece of this, like now putting this into business? Do you actually have a purpose? How'd you get to there?

You know, I think that when I got clean and sober, I transitioned my career from running a PR business that I owned when I was 21 to 25. I put down my PR business and I started to give talks, talks and write books and lecture. And it was just so clear that that was the career path that I was meant to choose. But I never. I really don't think of it as a career path. I've thought of it as a life path. And while I run a big business with my husband and my team, and we have a tremendous amount of online learning and lots of like, just so much content that we deliver in different ways. For me.

It'S just about getting the message to as many people as possible. So it's fun to be in the world and it's fun to create courses and it's fun to write books, and it's absolutely elating and fun and just beyond exciting to be in my art, which is public speaking, which has been taken from me right now. But.

But.

What'S most valuable and what's most joyful to me is to witness the transformations in people. And I've had the privilege of watching thousands and thousands of people throughout my career make radical transformations. And I get emails and letters and people coming up to me all the time saying, you changed my life. And I continuously say to these people, I did not change your life. I just told you a story. I gave you some methods. You changed your life. Because somebody could come across my work, but not do the work. And that won't change them. They change them. And so I just. It's such a privilege to be in a profession where you get to witness transformation in others, and you get to be a part of that journey and you get to be. To inspire people to be better. You know, you just brought something up, you know, about what's been going on recently for us. Us with this beautiful opportunity that we have to take of just being better. Being better with regard to how we show up, with regard to racial injustice, being better with how we show up politically, being better with how we show up for each other right now as we live through a pandemic, just being better humans.

That's it.

That's it.

I kind of want to just end it right there. It's too damn good. All right, let's end it on. What are you most excited about? What are you. I don't know if I want to say hopeful, because we can change. But where do you see things going for yourself? But also just what's getting you excited right now? Like you said, public speaking. I mean, you're technically kind of doing it now, but it's not the same. You're not in front of me.

What I'm excited about is this. Okay. So I started doing this thing because I'm a public speaker. And my art. My art is. Is being on the stage. And even though that's not my primary thing, I do. Cause it's, you know, would be once a month I go on the road or whatever. Cause I don't want to be on a plane all the time. But it's something that I've always had the choice to say yes to or no to, and now I don't. All my talks have been pushed to 2021, 2022. And I have, you know, I don't have a stage. So what. What do I have? I have the Internet. And so I've been going on and I'd been, like, kind of doing my, like, you know, one to many, just me talking to the camera. And it's like, okay, this is. Okay. This feels like. But I was like, what I love most is seeing somebody in an audience and just workshopping them in real time. There's no question you could give me that. I can't answer with authority. And because I'm answering from a spiritual perspective. There's an answer for everything, frankly. And it's I have this just tremendous confidence in giving the prescription in whatever form it needs to come through me. And I perceive myself as a channel for that information. And yes, my Gabby intuition and inspiration is coming through that, but there's also messages far beyond me that come through. And so I felt stifled that I wasn't able to do that. And so then I was like, you know what? Can I curse on your show?

Sure.

I was like, fuck it, I'm going and I'm doing it. So I got on Instagram Live and I started a show called Dear Gabby. It's a few weeks old. It's killer. It's so damn good. It is literally the coolest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I'm getting text messages and emails from random people, like my mom's best friend. And like, you know, just people of all ages being like, Dear Gabby's so awesome. And, you know, my mom's like, I've always thought she should have done a deer Gabby. And it's pretty much just bringing people on, random people through all throughout the world. I have no idea who I'm bringing on. I just pick people at random and they bring them onto my show and I see their face because it's two people on the Instagram Live feed and I see them live and I. And I just start riffing with them. They ask me anything and I'll just give them a prescription, you know, prescription. I'll give them my Gabby Download. And it's. It's just. What I will tell you right now is I know this with certainty that it will be a bigger platform. Like there'll be some network that's going to scoop this up. And I know that because of logic, but I also know that because of intuitive vision. And so this is the thing that I'm being called to do. And, you know, sometimes we, like, they always say, like, you know, make lemon. Make lemonade out of lemons, right? It's like, you know, I was giving. Given this opportunity to find a different way, but in a way, it's given me this much broader audience because my live lecture is maybe put at most like 3 to 5,000 people in a room, but on an Instagram Live, you could have hundreds of thousands of people watching as it's been reshared and shared and shared. And so the opportunity to be able to teach in that way still feels live, because that live element comes through. Because I can see someone, I can see their humanness, I can see their reaction, I can see their tears. I can see their experience with me in the moment. And then it's allowing me to express my gift. And then most importantly, it's allowing me to be prescriptive and supportive and let other people borrow the benefits of watching the prescription unfold for somebody else. And so it's healing people in a entertaining way. And some little girl said to her mom, I love watching her. I don't understand what she's saying, but I love watching her because her energy is making me feel good. Like a 10 year old little girl said that, you know, and the reaction is just like unbelievable. And it's just, you know, I just have to make sure people can find, find it on Instagram. If you go to Instagram tv, IGTV is where their videos are living.

Okay.

It's, you know, it's like hidden. It's also hidden. I'm going to put it on a web page. I'll probably have a web page. Gabby Bernstein.com Dear Gabby, that we'll have up by the time this airs.

Sweet.

And people can go watch the old episodes. But when I tell you, it is the most epic thing.

My event planner who's been on the road with me for the past 10 years for all of my book tours, she called me and she said, I didn't think you'd be able to bring what you have on the stage onto the Internet, but you did. She's like, this is it. This is so killer.

That's the way to do. I mean I can just hear you are freaking pumped up. That's exciting.

It's so awesome. You guys go watch Tear Gabby right now.

I will definitely go check that out. That's awesome. A couple real super quick wrap up questions. Do you have any books that you refer back to often or find yourself recommending? Obviously everybody listening. Go check out Super Attractor and the universe has your back and your various work that you've put out there. But are there any books that you refer back to or find yourself recommending often?

There's a book I'm reading right now that I recommend to parents, but even to people who aren't parents. If you want to re parent yourself.

Or if you are a parent or if having any kind of issue in relationship, just read this book and it's called no Drama Discipline by Dan Siegel. And it's really, really tremendous and it just gives us the opportunity to recognize how we've maybe been dismissive of other people's feelings and to start to meet people where they are, meet people where they're feeling. Not what you think they're doing. And that is epic. That's amazing. I'm reading a lot of Peter Levine's work, Awakening the Tiger.

Then again, I mentioned the Sarno work of the Mind Body Prescription. I really recommend to you, Matt. Mind Body Prescription, definitely.

That sounds real. Right up my alley.

He'll get it.

Healing Back Pain is his most famous book. Or how to Heal Back Pain. I don't remember exactly how he phrased it.

I often am reading multiple books at one time, which is just not always the best thing to do. But those three, I think would be very valuable for right now. And then there's a great Pema Chodron book called When Things Fall Apart. I think that's what it's called. Yeah, that read I read a year ago, and I was just listening to an interview with her, and I was like, I should probably pick that up again right now.

It's always these good books. You're like, I'm gonna read this every year, like three years later.

I'm gonna read this this year, finally.

Right? Yeah. Those are solid recommendations.

All of my books that someone would wanna read right now. While we mentioned Universe, we mentioned Super Attractor. My most important book is the one that people don't finish. And it's called Judgment Detox. And often people don't finish it because it's a lot of it's quote unquote work. It's asking you to go to places and look at yourself and do some things that might be uncomfortable. And if you really want to have some deep freedom right now from a lot of what you're experiencing, the divisive nature of what's happening online and all of the feelings we have about being closer to family and the stuff that's up. Do the work of Judgment Detox and thank me later.

Love it. All right, expect an email from us later. Thank you so much. Where can folks get Super Attractor? Where's the best place to send them?

Oh, you know, just go to Amazon and if you just type my name in, a bajillion bucks will come through and you can pick out whichever's right for you.

Sweet.

I have a lot of free resources on my website, too. Gabbyburnstein.com, lots of free meditations, free digital courses, just tons. We like to give a lot away because I want to support people as much as possible.

Yeah, bunch of friends with your. What was it? A spiritual junkie app and all that stuff. Shout out. Out to Rachel Listening. And she's like, ah, I love that app. I'm like, ah, okay, I'll let her go. Awesome. So thank you very much, Gabby. It's been awesome.

Thank you, guys.

Hey, hey, hey. Thank you for listening to that episode. This is Joe Fear. I'm sure you probably already knew that. And Matt is not here right now, but I'm pretty sure he enjoyed the episode just as much as you and I did because, you know, he went into the production of Kids kind of making that thing right along with me. So thank you very much. And I want to give a quick shout out to our buddies over at Easy Webinar. These guys have been supporting us for a while, a long time. And Casey Zieman is just a super good guy all around. He's actually been on the show before. He's the founder of Easy Webinars. So if you look up Casey Zieman on any podcast platform you're listening to, go check him out. Go check out his backstory, what he's all about. You can look learn a lot about webinars as well. And right now, Easy Webinar, these guys are actually hooking you up with a great trial. It's a completely free trial to test out their software, Soup to Nuts. Check it all out and see if it's a good fit for you. If you go to easywebinar.com hustle, that's H U S T L E. If you didn't know how to spell hustle, there you go. So if you go to EasyWebinar.com hustle you can go grab a free trial. And EZ webinar literally lives up to its name. It's super simple. I mean, super easy. And it does all the stuff that you're looking for in any kind of thing. With webinars, I mean, they literally cover every single type of webinar you possibly can do. So from live to automated to scheduled at specific times, and all these crazy features in between, can't even list them all out. I'll be here way too long. They give you a ton of advanced analytics. What's working, what's not. During your webinar. Based off all these actions, you'll see who attended, how long they stayed, if they clicked the offer or if they didn't. Basically, you're gonna make more money and you're gonna work less with this thing and you're gonna create better relationships with the folks that are listening. Cause it's a good experience. You wanna give that good experience along with some great content, of course, and a killer offer, if that's what you got for them. So go try it out yourself. Go check out easywebinar.com hustle. That's easywebinar.com hustole. Alrighty. Righty. So that is the end of this episode. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to this episode, enjoying it. Hopefully you did. I'm pretty sure you did if you lasted this long. And go check out easy Webinar when you get the chance and we will talk to you next time. Bye Bye.

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