Victoria Song - Bending Reality To Make The Impossible Probable

So one of my beliefs is that our subconscious really lives in the body and our nervous systems. It's not just, like, in our mind. Right. And the body remembers what the mind may forget. And so I think a lot of books out there are really focused on creating a great mental discipline. And let's uncover your limiting beliefs, and let's clear it all and, like, tell yourself positive affirmations. I believe that if you have these deep beliefs that are held in your body level, sensations of insecurity, sensations of shame, sensations of fear, you can tell yourself, I'm amazing all day long, and it will feel like you're lying to yourself.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

What's up, everybody? You're listening to the Hustler Flowchart podcast with your boys, Matt Wolf and Joe Fear.

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All right, we're not talking about that today, though. Legalities of using music and podcasting.

No, today we're giving a little slap of the woo. Woo.

Yes, we are. We coined that term.

Wait, wait, wait till the outro. It'll make more sense.

It's in the outro at the very end of this thing. Obviously, it's an outro. All right, today we're chatting with someone unique, very special. Her name is Victoria Song, and. And she has a crazy background. She has done a lot in her young years. I would say way more than most people ever accomplish in life and business.

Including being on Forbes 30 under 30.

That is one of them. She also went to Yale, Harvard Business School. She's multi million dollar exits, her clients. She's helped achieve them, but also she's invested tons and tons of money, done very well. She talks a little bit about it here. She has a new book coming out. What day? August 20th. Matt?

August 24th.

August 24th. It's called bending Reality. And I should get the subtitle, and I will. It's called Bending Reality. How to make the impossible probable. And her whole specialty is she actually coaches a bunch of high level CEOs. Actually like the CEO of Honey was one example she brings up. There's a whole bunch of them, but essentially just completely taking these kind of hidden powers, these. The potential they have within them that might be blocked with maybe some negative pattern, maybe you're over analyzing things and kind of stuck, feeling frustrated, anxious all the time. She basically gives us a really clear explanation of and not woo woo either, but how we all can basically get past that and maybe use some of that momentum for good and actually shift into bending your reality.

Yes. A lot of aha's a lot of insights from this one. A lot of how to, you know, sort of shift, better understand what's going on in your brain and your body so that you can more easily shift out of it and you know, do more of the shit that you enjoy in life.

The great stuff, the fun stuff, the stuff that makes you feel happy, fulfilled and your best self.

Yeah. The stuff that lights you up.

That's right. So that's what you're gonna get from this episode. You're gonna enjoy it again. Her book is Bending Reality, how to make the Impossible Probable. And you can go grab it. It's pre order right now because it's not released, but there are some cool bonuses depending on when you're listening to this.

Yeah.

Yeah. So check it out. You can get it on Amazon pretty much anywhere. It's one of them big publishers, Simon and Schuster. So go get it early because you'll get a bunch of cool bonuses. She'll tell you about that in the episode.

Yes. And grab the action guide for this episode. Go to flowchart group.com. if you go to flowchart group.com you will have the ability to join our Facebook group. We will ask you for your email. If you choose to give us your email, which you should, we'll send you the action guide. And you also get the bonus of being in a killer ass Facebook group.

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Flowchartgroup.Com, go there, get the notes, get inside the group, say hello to us. We'll say hello back. We'll wave, we'll smile. Let's go talk to Victoria. All right.

Victoria, how you doing? Great to have you on the show.

Thanks for having me.

For sure.

I'm excited for this.

I know we were like pre chatting.

And I know we should hit record probably.

Yeah, that's always a good sign. Something, something good's gonna come out. Already, like, we were like, we gotta share more of this stuff here. So big shout out to our friend Esther Kiss for making this happen. So thank you, Esther. I know you check it out. Yeah. But you, Victoria, you have a really interesting background and you know, all the way from, I know, your schooling time, you know, in university at least, and then getting into business and then this whole pivot into really learning from a bunch of coaches and therapists and all this stuff. But you, you wrap it into these massive company. Like, we're reading some of the case studies of your work. Like Honey, for instance, that app that probably everyone's using now on the computer. And like, just the shifts, free money, why not? I know, right? It's a great company. But the fact, like just these little pivots that you're. You're helping folks with, with their mindset, their nervous systems, the way they're thinking and how they can build some greatness, what, whatever they're doing. So happy to share all that here and kind of want to see what your story was like before getting into the game. You have a new book also going to come out soon. I wanted to give that a shout out. Bending Reality in August, right?

Yeah, August 24th. How to make the Impossible Probable.

It's a cool book name and it looks very interesting. So take us back to, I don't know, wherever you feel like. University it sounds. Because you went to Harvard and Yale, right? Harvard Business School. So take us back to there. Because you say you learned a lot more from the coaches after school, right?

Yes, that's right. Yeah. I think without even realizing it, I was just so in the rat race. Just as soon as I kind of left the family nest. I went to Yale College for university and then I went to Harvard Business School. And I very grateful that I've achieved a lot. But I think when you get into venture capital at 23 and you start having all these opportunities that are super rare at a young age, you also really quickly realize, like, wow, is there more to life than this, like, succeeding, achieving? And I, I felt like the more I achieved, the emptier I actually felt, which was such a strange phenomenon. And for a bit I thought, like, there was something wrong with me because I was thinking, like, gosh, I should be grateful, I should be happy. So many people look over at me and think I have the dream job being a venture capitalist. So, like, what's wrong with me? Like, why aren't I happy? And it took me a little bit to sit with that question and give it more weight than I think any of my peers were really, like, kind of making space for at the time. And the truth is, when I looked around at my colleagues and my classmates from Yale and Harvard and a lot of our clients who are successful entrepreneurs, who are billionaires, I realized like, wow, everyone has this sort of empty success syndrome, you know. And so that insight really was existential awakening for me, where I realized, wow, I want to do more and I want to understand this better. Like, why is it this way? Like, what's keeping it this way? And how can anyone talks about it? And how do we go to work nine to five every day when like, these are our family members and our friends who are really unfulfilled, but all kind of pretending like we're all good, we're all really busy.

So that became the question that I was more interested in getting to the bottom of than just like, how do we make you epically successful? You know, in vc, we're really focused on the business and, you know, the business model, scaling the business, making sure it's as profitable as possible. Really good exit. But for me, I was like, why are these entrepreneurs so empty even after they've made it? And how can we solve for that? Like, how can we be ethically successful and deeply fulfilled?

That's awesome.

And so that was in 2016, and I left VC without really knowing exactly what I was going to do about it, but was just clear that part of my journey and exploration was going to be figuring out how I can support in some capacity around this question. And then that led me to getting certified myself because as you read, I've worked with over 24 coaches. And these kind of answers didn't come from institutions, even the finest ones. They really came from some studying with healers, therapists, coaches, from life coaching, business coaching, to sex coaching, truly like the whole gamut. So yeah, that's what I realized after investing hundreds of thousands of dollars and a decade working with these coaches. And I'm hoping to save my readers the time, money and energy that I did in giving everything really in this book, one of my superpowers that has translated to my work now is I've always been a really good read of people which at the early st. Investing, when it's just a pitch deck and a founder is really the idea and the person that you're betting on. And that was the stage I was investing in was early seed, like first institutional money into a company. And so the average check size was like 250,000, $500,000 and so one of my first deals called Crashlytics, I put in about a million dollars and we returned over $40 million from that one company investment. And so I have made a lot of people lots of money, angel investors and VCs alike. And that's actually what to be named to the Forbes 30 under 30 list for venture capital investing. And so I've been really grateful. And I think part of my journey was faded this way so that I could do what appeared to be accolades and success to the outside world. But then feeling that disconnect on such a deep level, and it's one thing to say like, oh, I feel empty, but then people are going to be like, what have you achieved? And so I feel like coming from my background, like going to Yale, going to Harvard Business School, doing the things that everyone thinks are the obvious things that are successful, and feeling the way I do, I think really lends me like a real perspective on like, it really is. There's no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. And it really is like the blind leading the blind, you know, like, I've been there and truly, like, this is how it feels.

Yeah, no, it's almost like I'm just thinking of like the moon landing effect, you know, it's like you're. You've gotten this accomplishment and you're like, what now? And yeah, it sounds like you've hit a lot of the markers. I mean, even on the education front, the success or the business front, even the accolades, like 30 under 30 for Forbes. So, yeah, I mean, it sounds like it's more like a compounded thing for you to realize, like, okay, there's like a deeper thing here I gotta dig into and figure out for myself. So is that pretty much. I mean, right. So I'm curious about the 24 coaches. Like you mentioned, all these therapists and whatnot. Like, is there. What'd you start doing? Like, did you just start practicing a whole bunch of stuff yourself? Like, were you a guinea pig or. I was.

I do feel like I was like one of those, like Skinner rats, where I was like, I don't know if this is it, but I'm keep hitting this button and like, seems to work. You know, I definitely went down the rabbit hole in coaching and, you know, I'd say that I got something out of everyone I worked with. And truly the thing that most significantly I got was just seeing all the themes and the dots that were kind of, you know, connecting and being able to light up that picture of like, wow, there's Actually a meta framework underlying peak performance, therapy, coaching, meditation, spiritual work. There's actually this cohesive framework that is one that I talk about in the book in Bending Reality. And it was actually one of my goals was to empower the reader who's interested in this to know truly what is everybody actually teaching? What does everyone have a different way of getting at so that they would feel more empowered when they hire people to know what am I really signing up for versus feeling broken, feeling lost, feeling you had to fix yourself, which I think can send a lot of people down. Yeah, a rabbit hole of sorts that can feel very painful because it feels like no matter what they do and how much they learn, they never are healed. And so I really wanted the reader to have this bigger picture so they can be more self empowered on their path. And then as far as the coaches I've worked with, I got into it mainly because I, I was in business school at the time and what I thought I needed. It's very common for people to enter coaching because they have a tactical problem. For me it was like, oh, I want to be a better public speaker and I want to improve my speaking skills. So I started asking around for a coach that could help me with that. And before I knew it, another friend who's a VC over at 4Runner Ventures, Yuri Kim, was like, oh, I don't have one of those but I have a life coach. And then I was like, what's a life coach? And this was back in 2013, so. So yeah, eight years ago I didn't know what a life coach was. And then I quickly learned what they do and I started hiring. I had like four at a time. Sometimes I got so into it, I became obsessed. Honestly, such a power user of coaches and it changed my life. Like I really think that my life can be almost like divided up into pre coaching era. Like me kind of half asleep, autopilot, walking through life and then getting all this amazing insight and wisdom from coaches. And now I'm living such a conscious chosen life of like designing this incredible life and work and, and it really ripples out into my clients and just such huge up leveling around, you know, everyone around me that I get to work with. So. So anyway, yeah, I think coaching, I recommend it for everyone listening and. Yeah, so I'll let you dive in. Sorry, I'm like, I could take this anywhere. You're good.

No, I'm curious. You mentioned there's kind of like a four framework that sort of underlies all the different modalities. I guess you could call them of therapeutic education.

What are some insights around that framework that you can share? What were some of the patterns, the overlaps that you noticed between all of those different things?

Okay, so first I'll ask both of you to do this. Just imagine in the last week what's something that may have happened that didn't feel good. Maybe it was a mistake or brought up some sense of fear or sense of failure or something that just. Yeah. Could have gone better.

Okay. And when you tune into that event, I want you to just feel into the sensation your body like, what do you notice happening when you recall this unpleasant event?

I think I tense up a little bit. Yeah.

I get kind of more of a tightness in my stomach.

Okay, good. Yeah. So this state is one that I call contraction, you know, so this constrictive energy pattern. And for me, I talk about in the book how this activates our fight flight response. So we're in this state where tense or breathing is shallow, our options narrow, our perspective narrows. It's hard to see solutions that we feel very stuck in a perspective. And this without realizing, is how a lot of people walk through the world without realizing it. If you're thinking about the next problem to solve, if you're catastrophizing or thinking about worst case scenarios in your head. So often my clients are like, I'm just imagining kind of the worst case scenario happening. It's not in the event. It's like after the event, they're still thinking about it and spinning on it. Right.

It could have happened. Yeah. So they're even stressed about what could have happened that didn't happen.

Totally. And there's almost this sense of like a, of sense safety that comes with such vigilance of like, oh, as long as I'm preparing and impending doom generator, trying to in advance guess what might happen so I don't look stupid, you know, like this is where a lot of our minds are. And so this is the first state that a lot of clients find me in. And I find that all of their self solutions like boot camp, coach in their head or gosh, I can't sleep, I'm constantly thinking about the problem and then maybe I'll like go drink ton wine. Like all of these things actually just create poor health, poor sleep, more contraction in their system and like a tight nervous system as we talked about. Right. So Matt Kahn has a great, great quote that the ego is an imaginary identity of an overstimulated nervous system.

Ooh, I love that. That's a very real. Yeah, I can embody that. I've lived that many times over.

Yeah, exactly. And so this is like what characterizes, I think, kind of the state of the world right now, especially in the COVID period, especially in the uncertainty, especially in the unknown. Like, we're all walking around super tight, like, oh, no, is the other shoe going to drop? So that's the first state. And as you can imagine, there's thoughts that create the state, there's emotions that create the state, and there's all sorts of limiting beliefs or shame stories or guilt or proving oneself, you know, like your Hustle and Flow. I appreciate more of the flow piece of your title because, you know, the Hustle is really like, oh, I need to prove that I matter. I need to prove that I got something to give and offer in the world. Right. There's this constant urgency. And truly, like, when we have that time urgency, it really gets us into the scarcity mindset which creates this contraction. So. Okay, now I'm going to talk about the flip side. I want you guys to imagine an event this past week that really lit you up where it felt like, calm and amazing. Happy. Maybe you were grateful that it happened.

Okay, great. And when you tune into your bodies and your nervous systems, what do you notice?

I just noticed a smile go across my face as soon as I thought of the moment.

Same. I just felt lighter. All overall, it's like nervous system, like you said. Said is just chilled out.

Yeah.

Good.

Awesome. Anything else? Like, with your breath or how do you know when your nervous system is calm? What does your body feel like?

So for me, definitely it's a breath thing. So if I'm short on breath, it usually, you know, I stay chest breathing and less belly breathing. So, yeah, when I'm chilled out, it's definitely like a lot deeper breath and I feel like just everything is a lot more relaxed. Like, shoulders aren't as tensed. Yeah, I'm not as just like, maybe I'm not like, my legs aren't crossed. And you know, there's like a lot of things that are like tension, like, that are just like. Yeah, exactly.

I noticed I carry tension up in my shoulders and neck. So if I'm like, you know, anxious about something, like, I get real tight up here. And then when I'm happy about something, I feel that these kind of areas loosen up and just kind of drop a little.

Yeah, you both feel more grounded. You both feel lighter. Good. Yeah. So this state is one I call expansion. And so one of the first questions is just do you feel contracted or expanded right now and right now?

Expanded. Yeah. So so basically you're kind of teaching folks how to feel their emotions, right? Like feel their internal states so you can kind of what, figure out what your brain is doing and maybe look at things slightly different.

Right, right. So one of my beliefs is that our subconscious really lives in the body and our nervous systems. It's not just like in our mind. Right. And like the body remembers what the mind may forget. And so I think a lot of books out there are really focused on creating a great mental discipline. And let's uncover your limiting beliefs and let's clear it all and like tell yourself positive affirmations. I believe that if you have these deep beliefs that are held in your body level, sensations of insecurity, sensations of shame, sensations of fear, you can tell yourself I'm amazing all day long and it will feel like you're lying to yourself.

Right. Who's that voice in there barking at me? These lies. That's not true.

It doesn't pass your own like bullshit detector of your. And so what the work that I do with my clients is like, okay, the mind's really important, but that's the tip of the iceberg. Let's also get you connected to the ideal optimal physical state to be in the right emotional state to be in so that you can really be in what we call peak performance or flow state or access to your supernatural abilities or in what I say the really the state from which you can bend reality. And so in the state of expansion, how much access do you have to creativity, inspiration, solution set?

I think it's pretty much unlimited.

Yeah, infinite. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And so in this state we feel really good, we're inspired, we feel great, all these things we trust more, we feel abundant. And therefore we're also thinking about like win on win solutions. So I really believe that one of the key meta frameworks I talked about is just being able to recognize where are you in this current moment? Do you feel contracted? Do you feel expanded right now? Are these thoughts creating momentum for contraction or expansion? Are these emotions creating contraction in my body? You know, just starting to really understand the mind body connection. Because a lot of clients, and I'm sure in your world too, in the marketing world, are really analytical, very left brain, really intelligent, but because of that they live in their head and they don't really feel much going on in their body. Right. So it's amazing that you do breath work. It's amazing when people do yoga, like all These things that allow us to connect more into our body. And so that is one of the key, key thing. So I really believe that the more you spin in your head, the more is an indication that it's time to get out of your head and into feeling the sensations in your body and like you said, the emotional processing. Because a lot of us, you know, we don't realize we like to pretend like emotions. You know, we're really stable and irrational and emotions aren't getting in the way. But the truth is, whenever there's conflict, whenever there's failure, whenever there's a difficult conversation, it is about your emotional intelligence and how well can you be with the emotional pattern that comes up, whether that's fear, anxiety, stress, you know, and. And I really believe, and I'm sure you do as well, which is emotion is just energy in motion in the body.

A hundred percent. Yeah.

And that's why you can't selectively numb negative emotions to only feel positive emotions. And so when my clients find me, they often are quite numb and like living in a very narrow bandwidth of reality where they're like, gosh, I have everything I ever wanted, but I don't feel it. Like, I don't feel happy, gratitude, sort of a mental concept in my head. I don't. I don't really feel it in my body. And they don't realize that they've been preparing themselves for the ups and downs of startup world by thinking that it's a superpower to be completely numb. Like, I want to protect myself from the super low low. So then I also don't really let myself celebrate when the highs are highs and then they're kind of mildly depressed and they start to tell me, like, I think I just don't have much dopamine. And they, you know, their mind wants to come to these scientific conclusions for what's happening. And I'm like, no, you just need to feel your emotions. Like, you need to process your emotions. You know, so the huge part of what I teach in the book and what I teach with my cl, how can you use all emotions, even the unpleasant ones, as fuel for expansion?

Yeah, no, I think that's. It's interesting because I know for a lot of times I have walked through life, I mean, where there might be a trauma, and it's like, oh, I'm resilient. Or, yeah, like you said earlier, affirmations. I'll tell myself these things. We actually had a buddy of ours, Kamal Ravikant, on, who is another VC up in Silicon Valley. Area. And he has the whole book. I love art. Love yourself like your life depends on it. And I'm sure he experienced much of what you are saying here in the VC world, But any entrepreneur, any high achiever, it's like, I can get through this. I could bust through this wall of whatever. It could be like a death in the family or just like maybe a project just bombed, a product launch or something.

Right. Let me stay numb so I don't stay too impacted by anything. But then when they do get the success, when they do get the wealth, when they do have the impact, they're like, oh, I don't feel anything about it. Gosh, that sucks. I guess I need to make my goal bigger. I have to go after the next thing.

And that's probably a recipe for disaster as well, because like you said, it's like, busy, busy, busy. More momentum, but not tapped into to hear something, I guess. Now with people with that realization, are there any suggestions on how someone. Because it sounds like you've helped folks identify the feelings in their body. And I think I've read in multiple places, it's almost like depending on where you feel things in your body, it kind of means different things. Like, I think it's your chest. If it's tight, it's kind of like afraid or a fear kind of state, I believe. And I don't know. Yeah, I mean, there's. Do you know any way to identify things that way? Like, after you kind of start to figure out how you're feeling?

Absolutely. So one of the first things I encourage people to do is to not get caught up in the story behind the emotion and to not even worry if you can't label it correctly. Because sometimes people are like, ooh, there's tightness in my chest. I don't know what it is. And then just trying to label it kind of confuses them and takes them out of the experience of it, because now they're back in their head, you know? So I know that, like, it feels good. Like, you get a dopamine hit for figuring something out. So sometimes therapy can be very rewarding when you're like, oh, yeah, it is. Like that time when I was five, you know, but then you're like, oh, but I can't change it. You know, I've been talking about this for years, and I understand it, but how come it's not embodied? And there's another great quote of knowledge is only rumor until it lives in the body.

Yeah.

And that's what I think. So getting to Your question? When you feel your emotions, it's just important to drop into the energy pattern of it. So right now, when we were talking, you were like, yeah, I feel tightness in my chest. I feel, like, my shoulders rising. So first we allow ourselves to just feel that fully. And I actually encourage people to turn it up, to go into it and almost dial up the intensity of it. Because what happens is sometimes. Sometimes we're trained to feel uncomfortable when we feel these emotions, and so we pull back or we try to override them, or we try to rationalize them away or try to mitigate them. And what happens is, I think that when we don't allow ourselves to fully feel an emotion, it doesn't go anywhere. It's frozen in the system. And that's why breath work is really effective as well, because it's like, how do we actually just move these energy patterns? They don't get stuck in our bodies. And so the first key thing is just relax your body, find your breath. You know, you can close your eyes. You could be sitting or lying down, and you just start to tune in and say, okay, yeah, I'm feeling like it's kind of hard to breathe into my belly right now, you know? And then you just get curious, and you be with the discomfort, and you imagine yourself going into the center of it, kind of like when, you know, what is it? Bulls? No, ox. Is it ox? Yeah. Go into the eye of the storm.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. They are bison, right? It's.

Yeah, bison. Yeah, yeah. Bison will go right into the eye of the storm, knowing that that will help out of it faster, you know, and all the other animals are really swirled up and impacted because they want to run away and outrun the storm, you know? So one of the first things that I really encourage my clients to do is when they. When they have the emotion, counterintuitively go into it. Like, really surrender into it and trust that, like, you can be with it. And the reason why these emotions can be very triggering is because, as you said, sometimes it's tied to a trauma. And when I say trauma, I don't even mean, like, capital T trauma of, like, this really horrific thing happened. It could just be. I believe trauma is like anything that felt too overwhelming at the time for our nervous system to process. So that oftentimes when we're kids, right, things happen, and we're like, oh, my God, that was really shocking. Whether it's news from a parent, or sometimes it's like an accident or maybe actually being hit Whatever it was, it just was too overwhelming for the nervous system's capacity to process in that moment. And then what happens with trauma is that it doesn't get coded to past in the history, which means then that anything that happens today that kind of reminds us or touches that trauma activates it as if it's still happening. So it's almost like this memory that's on feedback loop that just keeps running. And so, for instance, just to ground this, an example, a lot of clients, they have a fear of being out of control and not having control of your situation. They need to control and predict. That's their safety zone. Really true. For a lot of founders.

When you dig into why this control and predict is so important, you start to realize, okay, the nervous system doesn't feel safe, and there is a reason for that. And then they kind of drop back. I've heard the story many times, which is that they were bullied when they were kids, and there was something really terrifying that as an adult, they're like, it wasn't a big deal. It was worse things happen to people. But as a kid, it was really intense, and it did feel traumatic as a child. And so I have one client, particularly that I referenced in the book, who notice that whenever he doesn't get his way in an agreement or in a meeting or with strategy, he gets very angry. And then the anger turns into stress and anxiety where he's worst case spinning and he's imagining the conversation going really badly. And we realize. And tied it back to, well, yeah, because when you were a kid, you were bullied, and there were these incidences where he was really scared for his life. And so now whenever he feels a loss of control, it's connected to the sense of unsafety. And feeling unsafe can feel too vulnerable to admit to ourselves. So it usually manifests as like a secondary emotion, like anger, for instance. So it's easier, you know, for men who associate with, like, the masculine to be like, I'm angry versus, like, oh, that hurt my feelings, or like, that scared me, you know, and so his instinct was to always get angry. So anyway, I. I bring that up because I really want to, I guess, make clear to the listeners that more often than not, what's actually happening is tied to an emotion that we're not willing to acknowledge. And that emotion is coming up because it's. It brings up an uncomfortable memory that we've been avoiding processing. And it's like our. Our bodies still remember it, and it's still held in the nervous system. It's still held in the subconscious. And anything in our life today that reminds us of it is going to set us back there. And the analogy that I like to give, which I reference in the book, is it's almost like when we're born, we have have access to a castle with infinite rooms. But then because we don't want to feel certain emotions or certain scenarios or certain situations, we end up living in one room that we have complete perfection, mastery over. And so we've just shut off this whole diversity of life to live in this one perfect room. That's what it looks like to choose to actually create your own little cage or your own prison where it's a very conditional, fragile existence. And so one of the things I really teach is like, how can we make you antifragile? Where it's like your emotional system is so resilient that you can ride the ups and downs of life and you're not trying to control and predict life, but you know how to stay calm in uncertainty, your nervous system unraveled in any unknown so that you can see and access creativity and solutions where other people are so uncomfortable sitting in that uncertainty, they're kind of grabbing for a false sense of certainty and control. So that is why I believe the clients I work with get these, these phenomenal outcomes. Like you know, one of my clients, he said, honey, they just got sold for $4 billion. And it's like the ability to keep your nervous system expanded and calm to access solutions that your competitors don't see, you know, or another client, Helix Nano, they just developed a next generation COVID vaccine that is evolutionary resistant so it doesn't have the problems the current vaccines have with the evolution of COVID So they were able to create like an amazing next generation vaccine without having worked on vaccines. Pr and it's because they're able to sit in a level of uncertainty that I think most of our nervous systems are not wired to handle.

Interesting. Yeah. Because it's like if you stay in your perfect room, your self designed room in your mind or your prison. Yeah, yeah. You have blinders, of course you're gonna get rattled if like maybe your business got shooken up a little bit during the COVID thing, or maybe there's an opportunity over here that's calling for you. Like this company with the COVID vaccine, it's like, well now they're able to be like, okay, well maybe I can pivot and or like kind of tweak some of my resources over here to identify that need or do Something about it. Yeah.

Well, I'm curious. What do you do with the information, like when it comes to things like therapy and even sort of psychedelic experiences and things like that, you might get like a flood of insights and ahas and like, oh, I'm like this because this happened in my past. And you kind of get these like ahas and insights of information in your brain. But then the integration portion, like after that experience, like, what do you do with the information that you've just uncovered about yourself in your past that you know is now holding you back? Like what, what would be the next steps after figuring that stuff out?

Absolutely, yeah. I think that these insights, I like to say that it's coming up to your awareness because your nervous system is now expanded or relaxed enough that you're willing, you're able to see that truth. Because I do believe, like when we talked about the ego being an imaginary identity of an overstimulated nervous system, when our nervous systems are tight, we don't see these insights, you know, all these blind spots and like, we're just like, ouch, ouch, that triggered me. And like there's like a landmine of triggers that we're so unaware of. And then when we get upset, we point our finger out there and we're like, I'm gonna blame that person or that situation. I'm unhappy because this event happened. And then to your point, you start to realize like, oh, I should point my finger inward and realize that like I'm co creating this or I'm showing up this way because of this. And so first I think it's super important to one just actually celebrate and acknowledge and have a lot of acceptance and compassion to like, wow, this was me when I was doing the best I knew how. You know, like, this used to work for me because of whatever my situation was. This was a great coping mechanism that I'm hitting like a ceiling with now. And I think again, like, when you feel it at the emotional level, it really does get released from your system. So I think home, we don't. So a lot of the clients you find me, they, they're actually deep in therapy. They've read all the books, they've talked about their problems, but what they're missing is they haven't yet felt and released the emotional energetic patterns at the nervous system level. And so to answer your question, I think once you start to process and feel it to completion in its entirety, because what happens is if our nervous system is tight, we're almost afraid to feel it because we're afraid it's going to be too much. We're afraid we're going to short circuit. We're afraid that we can't handle it. It just feels like it's going to be too uncomfortable. It almost feels like on this side of feeling it, like before you feel it, it feels like the idea of feeling it would be like suffering, pre suffering. But the truth is, when you feel it, how do you guys feel after you've felt an emotion in entirety? Maybe you cried, maybe you screamed. How do you guys feel after?

It's a total release. Because I just did that yesterday. I mean, I feel like I try to do that often, but yeah, with a modality, you have to lean into that and it's fucking hard because it's uncomfortable. Your body might be even freaking out or, I mean, you might have reflect like reflexes in your body. Even that.

Yeah, you might feel nauseous. You might be like, oh my God, I want to throw up.

That's literally something that happens to me is like, if I feel like. And I don't think I've ever really talked about this on the podcast, but like, I'll do breath work and think about something specific and maybe lean into that thing and visualize it. And like yesterday, like, it was, it was kind of being seen was like the thing for me for some reason. But that, that it wasn't a conscious thing. It was definitely deep down somehow. And it created this kind of almost like a gag reflex in a way. I mean, it was just like letting go and that was off of breath work. I mean, I've had the same experience with psychedelics too. So it's like, it's interesting how it. I think at the end of the day, like, what you're saying is your nervous system slows down, or mine in that case, to a point where some underlying stuff just. Just rears its head and comes out if you let it.

But it's like the bandwidth is expanding. So I think like, literally our nervous system, when it's tight, it's like, I can't download files of information. It's like, oh my God, it's too much. But when our bandwidth widen, we can receive more information in form of insights or memories or like, oh, that's that problem that I now realize it's connected to. And what also happens when you widen your bandwidth is that your consciousness has expanded as well. So now, like, you're not just seeing reality for through the lens of your fears or what you're afraid will happen, but you start to see reality clearly for what it is, you know, and you're less stuck in what Cartman calls the drama triangle. You know, where you look for a villain, you look for a victim. You often feel like the victim, and then you blame someone as the villain, and then you look to be saved from your situation. And that's the kind of black and white thinking or binary perspectives that we have access to when our nervous systems are tight. So really, it does come back to your question of, well, if we can calm our nervous systems, expand our nervous systems, then we can release these out of our system, and then that's when we don't actually have to do anything. And there's a coach, Kyle Cease, that used to be a comedian. Do you know him? And he has this funny joke where he's like, you don't have to analyze it. It's kind of like when a cavity comes out. It's not like you're like, wait, dentist, can I see the cavity? Let me look at it. Let me analyze it. I wonder what sugar or food it came from. It's like, no, it's coming up to go out, right? So when you're feeling the emotion, just trust that it's on the way out. You don't have to grab onto it and be like, wait, wait, wait, let me understand it first.

Yeah, yeah. So it's almost like the realizations themselves. Like the fact that you realize, okay, this is attached to this thing. And now that I realize it, it's almost like the power is taken away. It's like, okay, I get why that is happening now. And then your brain just starts to eventually phase it out, Unravel. Unravel it.

Or at least that part of it.

It's like this trust that. Like, wow, my nervous system expanded enough that I was able to receive that new insight. Like, this is a new. So I really feel that every time our nervous system kind of uncoils, we have access to new insights that we couldn't see before, you know? So just trust that, like, oh, this is all signs. And I'm continuing to expand, you know, and where it gets. Where we get stuck and hung up on it is when we get really hard on ourselves, right? We catch something really. Oh, shit, I'm doing it again. I thought I grew past this. What's wrong with me? I keep repeating the same patterns and, like, that. That relationship to it is actually what's keeping it holding it on.

So how do we stop that? Because I feel like, yeah, the analytical brain is always gonna fight that.

You Know the analytical brain wants to make it complicated.

Sure, of course, yeah, it shouldn't be complicated, but we're just so damn resilient or driven somehow. Like, have you found ways to just. Is it just repetition and just keep doing the work and then slowly, that analytical side maybe to like a. Some underlying thing just quiets down more? Do you have a. Do you kind of have an approach to that?

Yeah, I do think it comes back again, like, well, one can we do the things that make us entrain our nervous system to expansion? So I. I touched on the framework, but what I'd love to do is tell you a little bit about, like, what gets us to expansion and how can we start to live from there, you know, because this will answer your question. So one of the first things, like when I see hustle, I think about, okay, our first jobs at a school are we're trying to prove that, like, we've got something to offer the world. You. So there's a lot of proving maybe in our 20s. And then when we get to the next phase, you realize, like, oh, I do matter. I'm not asking do I matter anymore? I realize I do matter. And then when we realize we do matter, the natural extensions, we want to start working on something that matters. Right? This is when we get into impact and contribution. And for some of us, it takes a whole lifetime to figure out that, okay, once I'm secure in myself, the question is, like, how do I serve? And so one of the things that I talk about in the book is the difference in toxic fuels that are really driven by this need to prove something that is based in contraction. And I believe that we're motivated by a need to prove something. It's when we burn out, right? It's a very, like, unsustainable fuel that poisons you and your environment and your teams. When you get to more sustainable motivating fuels. One of the first layers of that is when we connect to our sense of mission or a sense of purpose. And so when we start to connect to our why, we start to be able to pull ourselves out of any small living belief or story and, like, really stand in. Wow, like, this is what I'm here to do, you know, and that feels really expansive to stand in your mission statement. Another thing that every coach learns, whether it's business or life coaching, is like, to uncover your values, right? It's almost like your inner compass for what matters most to you and what your values are going to look different from someone else's. And I'm not talking ethics. I'm talking, like, maybe beauty is one of your values or fun is one of your values. And so the more you can live out and honor your values at a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10, the more you're going to be motivated and driven by this more expansive, sustaining fuel of motivation.

Yeah.

And then the other thing that I think really allows you to access expansion, to live from here is to choose the things that feel like play for you. You know, I can tell with how much like, laughing you're doing here and like your relationship that this is fun for you. Right? Good.

Yes.

Yeah. And like kids, you don't need to motivate children to play, you know, so as an adult, if we find the thing that lights us up, like, it's play, that's when we access, like our flow state or peak performance or this like, zone of genius, really. And, you know, I think some people get caught up in like, well, what am I good at? What can I do? And then they're like, oh, I'm doing things I don't love, but I'm really good at, and I afraid I'm not going to get paid if I do what I love. You know, but it's actually, you start to access your capacity of like, your full human potential when you're doing what feels like play for you. And so these are some of the things that I help my clients really access and delegate anything that they don't love. And something that your listeners can do right now is to actually make a list of the things that feel like a 10 for you. Very life giving, very fun. They feel like play when you do them. So that could be like sports. If you enjoy certain sports, it could be a podcast host, you know, that's one of the activities you love to do. It could be biking, you know, whatever it is. I encourage all of your listeners to start to queue in on, like, what lights me up, like, what are the things that I'm doing that I feel expanded when I do it? And there are 112 waking hours in a week. So it's important to ask yourself, like, oh, what percentage of my waking days am I spent in expansion?

And so the more we can entrain our nervous system to operate from here, doing what we love, doing what feels like play, the easier it is to start to operate from our zone of genius, from our flow state, whatever you want to call it. And this is the state that I really believe is where people start to access things like psychic downloads, the unity consciousness of we're all one being able to really read almost like densities invisible to the naked eye in terms of information or manifest visions instantaneously. You know, all these spiritual concepts that I think sound a little woo. I really do believe that when you can start to live from the state of expansion, you access the zero point fields of, in quantum physics. It's, you know, the, the fields of infinite possibility and probability from which physical reality is. Arises from. So anyway, those are some of the things that I talk about in the book because I really do think this meta framework that we're talking about is what's behind not just peak performance, not just self development, but it's also behind real math. As long as you, if you believe in that, it is about. Yeah. The mystery of the unknown.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what if you make a list of all of the things that you're passionate about and you're really excited about and you look through it and none of it feels, for lack of a better word, monetizable. Right. None of it feels like, okay, I could make a career out of this, you know, what would you say to somebody who has that experience?

Yeah. So I would say, say the first thing is to get your state, your energetic state to be living more of your hours and more of your days from expansion. Because again, like it feels very black and white when you're in contraction. When you're contraction, you're like, oh, I have to stay at this job or else I will, you know, I won't have a paycheck. Or like it's either quit or stay at my job. You know, you don't even see the other possibilities of like, maybe I can change to a different job at my current, current company. Or you know, it's, it's like again, infinite possibilities are only accessible when you start to feel more expanded in your nervous system. So my first really like when the clients come find me, none of us can guess who they're going to become on the other side of the work. You know, it's almost like you don't actually know who you are when you're living under the limitations that you don't even see because you're living this contractive, narrowed option of reality. And so it's almost like you're living in black and white and not realizing that. And then when you, you do this work and you expand your nervous system, you all of a sudden have access to all those colors and richness. And so, yeah, I think there's people who come to my work who don't realize that the most empowering solution for them would be to shut down their very successful company that they've built. You know, and so it's often like a really non obvious answer that might not be like either stay or quit your job. And so the first key is really like unravel the nervous system. Start living your days from a place where you have more access to this inspiration, creativity, more possibility, not this black and white think. And I believe once you do, it becomes very obvious where these anchors are in your life that need to go. You know, it's one where you, when we're conditioned to being in contraction, that we don't see the relationship that's not, that's not healthy. We don't see the job that's hurting us or the whatever, how we're showing up, our family dynamics. It's, it's almost like we're just so used to being contracted that we're like, that's just how life is. And whenever you see someone breakthrough, you're like, oh, that person's lucky. Like, like I can't happen for me. But you know, for that person, they're lucky that it worked out for them. And that's the consciousness of, you know, coming from the state of contraction. And once you start to live more of your days where you're like a 10, whether it's, it doesn't have to be what you do for a living yet it could be like I start my days and I go for a swim or I wake up and I go, you know, I go for a hike on my break or I just start to eat like things that make me feel really good when I eat them. And, and it's, it's almost like just starting to access the state of, of abundance of wow, I'm investing in me.

At the end of the day, it all comes back to I'm the investment. And start to treat yourself that way. Then it becomes really crystal clear when something needs to go. And that's really the main piece is making it start to create contrast in your life so that those rubs become really apparent. And then those friction points, while they seem kind of annoying, like we don't like friction in our life. To really trust that all that friction is really your curriculum for your growth. Know, like it's all your soul curriculum. It's all meant to happen for you so that you can uplevel, like all the friction in your life is just showing you where your next uplevel is going to come from.

Yeah, no, that's, I mean it's you know, the whole thing of like feeling like you're under this veil of whatever. Like it's once you do the work, you know, because once you do some of it, some of the woo woo ness of the sounding of, you know, some people might be listening and be like oh my God, I don't get it. You know, like you said, like some people are just like they're lucky, like they're into the woo woo stuff, I guess they drink the Kool aid. But it's like no, it's real because it is all energy. I mean it's science. And once you chill out your body and your emotions, you really do feel like everything's brighter. Like there's like this bigger perception of the world and what's possible and it's so damn hard to describe that. And yeah, like things like drugs can help you, but also just your personal breath, the thing that we all have for free. I love Wim Hof his saying just breathe motherfucker. It's just like we all have breath, so do it.

The reason why breath work is trending, yoga trends, meditation is trending, self care trending is because the world is so wound up. Our nervous systems are so wound up right now, especially during the pandemic, you know, and that's what we need is to relax our nervous systems is really step one. And you know, to your point about it sounding woo woo, this was the key challenge. And really I think my why I do what I do because the clients I work with are very analytical. They tend to be engineers and they are and they call, they consider themselves agnostic, atheist nihilists. Like they're not spiritual, they don't have a yoga practice. You know, they don't meditate before we work together. So. So being able to meet them with language that resonates. And as you as you heard me talk about, about this contraction versus expansion, you notice that like I'm not, I'm not talking about anything that takes a leap of faith. You know, it's all stuff that can be felt in your personal experience. And I do believe that that is the deepest way to learn, you know, is through people's personal experience. And so the book is designed to really like create exercises and tools that give you this personal experience of what it's like to start bending your reality.

Yeah, no, I mean the book's going to be really, it sounds amazing. The fact just the title alone, you know, Bending Reality is like, yeah, there is a different reality if you choose for it, you know, choo lean into that and work it. What are some other things that folks will get out of the book? And I know you also offer training and some other stuff on your site. So I'm just kind of curious, what's the future look like for you in this work?

Yeah, it's a good question. So you talked a little bit about psychedelics for instance. And so on my website you can actually find my live recorded audio guides of me taking people through their journey on psilocybin. So those are available online. Those are really fun. The topics range from I release control to it's never too late to have a happy childhood, to remember your future and becoming your highest self. So those are sort of the topics for those three to four hour audio guides that people can find on my website, which is www.victoriasong.me. and then I really think of the book Bending Reality as how do we really do the work between these peak experiences to integrate what we've learned and touched? Right. I really encourage my clients not to just chase the next expansive experience, but to really start to ground stabilize and integrate this new nervous system awareness so that this is okay, this is a new baseline, this is my new normal. And so the book really teaches that without any use of substances, the only thing that is a little bit altered state is the breathwork that I teach in the book. But I do think there's so much we can do to again bend reality that is through our truth, our essence, who we are. Like we really don't need much. The book is really designed to almost be like your self healer. Like it's empowering everyone to know how to empower themselves to do this work. And then if you do choose to bring on a guide, I always encourage people to find people whose life shows they know it. You know, you might think you know something, but if your life doesn't show it, you don't actually know it, you know. And so it's all about embodiment and finding teachers who, yeah, who really reflect what you're, what you're trying to learn. So yeah, the book is again bending reality and it is a tool that is used by billionaires, tech founders, truly the world's most, most successful individuals who are left brain analytical and have been able to find results that start to make them question like do we live in a simulation? Like this is strange.

Yeah. If you're excited for a journey like that where you can start to access your own supernatural abilities that I believe only appear supernatural from a certain level of consciousness like on this side of Consciousness. It seems crazy, some of these topics that we've been talking about, but. But again, once you taste it and experienced it yourself, you're like, wow, okay. I don't believe anything. It's just my life right now.

Yeah. Just accept it, because there's more to it that you haven't seen yet or experienced. Yeah, no, it's cool. And we all have the tools for it, too. It's not like some expensive endeavor, you know, to experience some of this.

Okay. For sure.

This is really cool, Victoria.

Yeah. Breathwork is free.

It is very cool.

Well, the book is coming out August 24th. This episode will be released before that. But it looks like you can pre order it on Amazon already. So actually.

Yeah. Where is the best place for people to grab it? Like, is there.

Yeah, you can get it on Amazon. You can get it on my website. It's being distributed by Simon and Schuster. So really, wherever books are sold, you can pre order it on their site. And I'm also encouraging people to pre order now and I'm giving all sorts of free techniques. Like guided breathwork is one of the free techniques that you get now. Also, in 15 minutes, you can create your own mission statements. I have a guide that helps you connect to your purpose, helps you connect to your values, as we talked about today. And then also there's a technique that helps you release any stress or anxiety that you're feeling in a moment. So if you notice any contraction in your nervous system, there's a guided technique. These are all audio guides, by the way. So they're all as a thank you for pre ordering now.

Sweet. Well, thank you, Victoria. Thanks for doing this work and sharing it with us today. It's been fun.

Yeah. Thanks for having me. This was so much fun.

Yes.

See you later. All right.

Bye. Bye.

That was fascinating. I like that a lot.

It was good.

It was a.

It was definitely a change of pace from some of the episodes we've been. I feel like we've been fairly tactical on a lot of the more recent episodes. So it was kind of a nice change of pace to kind of get into the head a little bit.

We go in Ebb and flow around. Yeah.

Ebon Pagan.

Yes, him, if you wish. Yes. Ebon Pagan. He should have changed his life.

Last name to Flo Eban Flow.

Yeah, he.

He could have.

That's his superpower name or superhero name. Yeah. Yeah, man. So what. I feel like I always ask you this.

I know you always go, so what stood out to you?

What stood out to. No, I'm not going to ask that question.

Let's change it up a bit. Hey, Joe.

Hey. What stood out to you as your hand goes on?

As my hand goes on my head.

Valley girl.

That's right.

So, Joe. Oh, my God. So when you think about this, that conversation with Victoria song. Yeah.

Marcus is going to love when he hears us doing the valley girl.

Who's Marcus? I'm just kidding. Oh, one of our coaches shout out to Alpha hippie. Yeah. No. What stood out to me? I think it's. I just, like. I like her mission. I like the fact that she has chosen to do this in a state, like, where she's at in her life, business journey, too. Like, we didn't totally talk about, like, the ways that she, you know, invested in and made a bunch of money and all that stuff. Because she did that at super young age. I forget. Exactly. But, yeah, she's Forbes 30 under 30 awarded and has done just amazing things. And she kind of alluded to it. Seems like she almost has super warp speed. That journey that a lot of people in business or in life kind of go through and found herself not fulfilled in what came after that, I guess. Or from the pinnacle, like, oh, I'm made it now. What?

Yeah.

So I don't know. I like the fact that she took herself or she's now on a journey to do more and fulfill because I feel like that. I don't know. I feel like it's something a lot of folks don't do. Like she said, it's probably a perfect timing, too, with COVID and people feeling like there's maybe a little tighter and wanting to figure stuff out or reinvent themselves, but really, it's like we all have the power to chill ourselves out and maybe let the answers kind of come to us a little naturally. Naturally.

I know we've felt that we do that actively all the time. Or a lot of what she was saying.

Yeah. No, I think for me, there was sort of two big kind of ahas that I had during this, and one of them was more of kind of like a reminder. Aha. That you need to. I feel like the reminder needs to keep coming up for me is that the aha of like, find out the stuff that you just really, really love doing it. Like you would be doing it in all of your free time if you could find the thing that just really, really light you up and then just put all of your effort and energy into focusing on those things that light you up and then the sort of path in life of how Do I get to do this? More will probably reveal itself.

We're doing that right now with our own business. And I was actually thinking about that exact topic yesterday and how, you know, we won't go down the rabbit hole now. But basically, we're looking at our business just for the audience to know. Like, we're actively shaving pieces off. We're looking at the 80, 20 of, like, everything we do, the actions that we're taking or our team are taking.

We just fired Chet. He's out.

Chet's gone. Sorry, dude. Not sorry. Yeah, you were a drag.

Lee kicked him out, too.

Lee's an asshole.

Yeah, that guy's a dick.

Well, there's the story behind that one. We've told it.

I mean, we're just wholesaling, firing everybody. Don't worry, Sue Jacob, you're safe. But everybody else, gone.

Wait, who is Cheddar Lee? Were they around our team?

Yeah, those are people that we just fired. They didn't last very long.

Don't worry. Everyone listening. We are not dicks.

No, we didn't actually fire anybody.

That's funny, though.

But, yeah, no, we make ourselves. We entertain ourselves. Right. And that's kind of the point. That's part of the point.

You have to.

We make sure she was talking about your value systems. Right? Like, lean into the values. And one of the values we decided with Hustle and Flowchart, you're very stern about everything, is we're always gonna take everything super seriously.

Hustle, like a mofo all the time. Right, Right.

Exactly.

Okay. Better values, right?

Yeah.

Cool. It's like, I had them tattooed yesterday on my forearm.

Yeah.

Do you want to see?

Yes.

Give me a sec.

Okay.

Do you have a Sharpie?

I don't.

All right. Good thing I didn't actually tattoo him.

No, but really, like, with our podcast, we decided very, very early on that one of the core values is if we're not having fun, we need to change stuff up.

Right?

Like, we're going to make sure that at least this is fun for us. Hopefully, it's fun for the listener as well when we're goofing off.

She said she had fun, said she did a whole, like, podcast tour, and, yeah, she had a great time. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, it's like, I feel like our podcast, we're always told by guests that they have a blast on our podcast, and I feel like you and I always talk about how we have a fun. Like, we have fun on our podcast, but I hope the audience thinks it's fun, too. And not just like, these two dudes just have a bunch of inside jokes that they goof around, and I never know what they're talking about.

It's a good point. I mean, it seems like our relationship is not dropping off, so that's a good thing. That is growing. But it's. Yeah, it's. It needs that. I trust we're doing the right thing here, but if you. If you want to write into us or find us somehow and tell us that if we're just not fun enough for you, then get the hell out of here. Yeah.

Yeah.

Go listen to Entrepreneur on Fire instead.

I mean, hey, welcome. Yeah, what are we saying anyway?

Where are we going? We're going to the place of values and having. Having fun with the podcast. And that's one of the most important values, and that's a value that we choose not to compromise on.

It's true. And that is a. I mean, we talked about this on some previous shows, but yeah, it was something that it's easy to fall out of. It did for us when. When we feel like we're. We gotta do something or there's an opportunity we can't miss or a product launch, that's life or death.

Yeah.

Which is kind of bullshit. Always bullshit, actually. It's like, yeah, it's Bill Murray. Bill Murray.

Bill Murray. Yeah. I said there was two kind of big takeaways that I had. That was one of them. The other one was when you're in your shit, so to speak.

Right.

When you're kind of having a rough time and your brain's spinning out of control. Cause you're like, everything's going to shit and you can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, at least most of that is I focus on what's going on in my head. I focus on and, like, the thoughts that are spinning around in my head. And like, that's the only place my sort of awareness could go is like, the analyzing is the analysis. Right. Like, I never really stopped to go, how does my body feel right now? Like, am I feeling tense? Am I feeling loose? Am I feeling like, where is the pain? I don't.

You never do that?

No, never. It's always just purely up here. Just purely up in my head.

And what she said is common, too, for. For a.

Of lot.

Lot of folks. Especially in business.

For smart people. Yeah.

Yeah. I guess I'm not that smart.

Exactly.

Exactly.

That's the point I was making.

Hopefully I hit the right one.

Was that the right one?

It was the right one. Oh, that's good. You were joking. Get out of here. It's a horrible joke.

Quiet, you. Jesus, the neighbors hate us.

Yeah, I'm sure they do.

Cheering audience for stupid jokes.

We really should stop bringing in this full studio audience just to record one podcast.

It's a lot of effort to bring on that many. This many people. I don't like you. Get out of here.

Well, what do you guys think? What do you guys think so far? What do you guys think?

I mean, they're cheering and laughing.

How do they do that? It's amazing.

And they shut up and command too, which is perfect.

We've trained them well. They actually sleep here on between the Gaps. We don't podcast, so we have rotating videos telling them what to do and what not to do.

That was a great joke. Thank y'. All. But I cut you off, so I said, shut up. All right, back to it. Victoria actually did say, though, she's like, it looks like you guys are having fun. I mean, I'm having fun. Like, she did nail on the core value that we have basically put the flag in the sand and said, all right, we're done with all the bullshit, which is maybe working on stuff that just doesn't light us up. Doesn't feel good.

Over complicating shit.

Overcomplicating stuff. I guess I could speak into, because I do. I. I think it's come through definitely the last year. And I think it was George Bryant. I gotta credit him for. There's some. There's basically, he was telling me about some things that he's learned about actually listening to your body because your emotions typically have some meaning to them. And Victoria, I think, made a really good point, because I've gone down the rabbit hole that she said is once you kind of feel something in your body, I know I default to, okay, what does that mean? Where is that showing up? So then I go back to using my brain. So I am kind of like. I would call myself in the middle. Like, I can kind of experience both, but I do default more to the brain than anything. I feel like most people probably do, like a high achiever type, but really, like, for me, breathwork. I mean, I showed you some of the practices that I've been doing.

Joe had me laying on the floor the day before yesterday, stretching in weird positions. I don't know why I had to take my clothes off to do it, though.

But.

Well, that was just for Joe's own.

We have this office. It is.

It always gets weird. It always Goes there. It always goes there.

Keep your pants on, Matt.

So it's not what you said last week.

Damn.

Damn it. I'm trying to. Yeah. All right.

I'm screwing with your flow. Okay, go ahead.

It's all good. That's all good. It's fun. It's just. I feel like if you can. Yeah, you're screwing with the flow. The whole thing is. I think that there's exactly what Victoria's saying. I feel like things like substances can help you break through that and feel more. I mean, you felt that and, like, I'm talking psychedelics.

Yeah. Well, I felt like that was. It was kind of a shortcut. It is, but I almost felt like. And I did kind of. Did I say this off air or on air? I can't remember. I think it was actually off air. Of, like, when it comes to the sort of psychedelic experiences, they fade.

Oh, yeah, you said that. The integration. I think that was on air or off air. I don't know. But yeah. No, I think that's a big value. That's a valuable point. But that goes with, like, breath work, too, and other things. I mean, a little less so, because you can probably write down if you want to, but.

And I'm not really somebody that wants to do psychedelics, like, once every six weeks to, like, sort of reset. You know, it's like it's kind of a once in a. Every couple years sort of big, major experience. And I'd like to keep it that way because, you know, I fear dependence if you do it too often.

But the integration portion afterwards has always been tough. And, you know, I've found, you know, journaling and trying to constantly remind myself of experiences and stuff like that helps to an extent. But there's still that passage of time that even through journaling, I sort of disassociate from the experience more and more over. Over time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because journaling would always be something that you do after one of those experiences, for sure. Right. We've always done that. But you're right. It's tough to kind of keep that momentum sometimes because you get these flashes of inspiration or something that you might not have been thinking about. And honestly, like, I think the thing that has helped me is to just be consistent. Like she said, like, it's all about consistency. And for me, it's breath work. I know the alpha hippie guys, like you mentioned Marcus earlier, we're doing the training with them, which we should probably bring. Angelo, Marcus, Ryan, one of them. I don't know.

On The.

On the podcast again. I think it'd be really interesting now. We know them a lot more. Angelo's actually been on the show. Angelo Cisco, if you want to see.

Probably a couple hundred episodes ago by now.

And we were. That was. That was early days about Alpha hippie. But basically, they're integrating a lot of how we. We're kind of working through, like, how our inner voice shows up for ourselves, which I think is very common. Like, it's very intertwined with what we're talking about here, for sure. Because, I don't know, you can kind of like, stop these. These patterns that are going on in our minds. And especially if. If we're being so analytical in the moment, that is a good moment to kind of stop and realize, like, okay, what is this pattern that's circling my mind? And from what Victoria said, like, she almost said it's almost like the flip side, she didn't say this specifically, but it's like, almost. If you flip the scenario, you typically have a whole different set of solutions that are possible for you. You know what I mean? But it's so damn tough when you're just stuck thinking about it because you're circling the same room in your mind that you've created for yourself, the safe space. But when there's an outside influence or some shit, that's like, I didn't see that coming. So that's shit. That sucks. I feel like crap now. It's like, yeah, it's like almost, if you could just settle your mind, you then expand that box, and you can kind of let some new stuff in. But really, it comes down to consistently journaling, I think, is a big one. But still, that's like, maybe. It's maybe a combo of things, you know.

Yeah.

Breath, work, meditation, all that.

And then, you know, going back to the thing of, like, you know, I mostly feel it in my head. Don't really pay attention to the body portion. I think just the sort of understanding that when that's going on in your head, just think about what it's doing to your body. Like, it's almost like that gives you a tool in itself of, okay, my head is going out of control. How is this affecting the rest of my body? Like, get out of your head for a moment and just put some thought on that. Just that simple act of awareness, I feel like, is an exercise itself that probably could step the anxiety down, like, a notch at least.

No, it would. 1%, hundred. 100%. And that's the. Yeah, actually, that whole little, like, you Just do. Yeah. It takes, like five minutes or less even, you know, just to kind of. But it's so fucking hard to just stop yourself in the moment, you know, I think that's the big thing. I actually just set up alarms on my phone. I think it was based off of what you told me the other day about how, like, it's almost like a breath work three times a day or some kind of thing, where if you could just, like, always keep your body and mind and nervous system chilled out a little bit, you know, consistently throughout the day. If you can kind of of just schedule five minutes three times a day, like, to do, like a fast breath work thing.

Yeah, it's almost like do the. The whole Pomodoro thing.

Yeah. Like, that's every, like, 20. What is that?

20? Every 25 minutes on, five minutes off.

Yeah, that's what it is. I mean, you could do it that often if you want. Every five minutes.

I don't know if I would do, like, a super intense breath work, but you could just do, like, mindful breath work, you know?

Yeah. Or go for a walk or something. That's what I'm going to say is alpha hippie. Those guys are. It's, like, partial. Figure out what's going on, but then there's, like, there's integration, which is walking and.

And a lot of disassociating from the negative thoughts and realizing that the negative thoughts were actually not your own thoughts, but thoughts that were projected on you by others, and then by realizing that, it sort of takes the power away from those thoughts. So I think Marcus would actually be a great one to bring on the podcast since he is helping coach us through a lot of that kind of stuff as well. It'd be fun.

Yeah, it'd be interesting. And it's very practical. Practical, too, but it's a lot of what Victoria is saying, so. Yeah, I don't know. It's good stuff, tapping your shit more often, Matt.

Don't tell me what to do.

I'll just force you to do it somehow. I'm gonna punch you in the gut. How's that make you feel? No, I'm actually gonna do it.

No joke. Let's not.

Let's.

Please.

That was Matt going, oh, I don't.

I don't have a crying button here. I mean, I can't make the crowd.

Cry on command, but I can make you cry. Command. Let's go. All right, we should probably wrap this up.

Let's see who cries first.

Joe getting crazy.

Yeah, I know. We are getting.

Okay, okay, okay.

Grab the notes for this episode. There's going to be some good ones in there. Some good ideas, good thoughts, good action steps that you can practice and integrate into your own life. So check those out over@flowchartgroup.com if you go to flowchartgroup.com you can join the Facebook group. When you join the Facebook, Facebook group will ask for your email. If you choose to give us your email, we will hook you up with the action guide. That simple.

We, we will our systems and we and we.

Flowchart group.com go over there and you get the bonus of joining an awesome Facebook group with cool people.

Cool people. Like minded folks like you. Yeah.

And Mark your new tribe. And Jessica and Shannon.

They're all there. They're all there. They're waiting for you. Actually, they're over@flowchartgroup.com if you, if you're.

Wondering which is also where you can get the action guide. Yeah.

Get them all right, so shout out to our boys and girls@easywebinar.com they're graciously supporting this show with their sponsorship, but also they're hooking you up with a fat discount.

Fatty.

Yeah, it is a fatty. So Easy webinar. In short, that's your all in one platform. It's basically unlimited. Everything is what they say. So basically it means run whatever you want on that bad boy. Doesn't matter the number of events or attendees or all that kind of stuff. It's all there for you. So you're not limited by your creativity or expressions in this. I was going to try to get a woo woo, but I can't. I don't have it in me.

Yeah, you're not limited by your inability to think about technology around webinars.

Yeah, that's good. There's endless potential in webinars even if you don't know anything about how they work.

Yeah. Because Easy Webinar makes it easy.

Bam. It's handled it all for you. And they make it really unlimited at the same time.

Yes. Easywebinar.com Hustle is the place to go.

They give you a big discount. Yeah, yeah.

If you go to easywebinar.com hustle you're gonna get a percentage off because you're a Hustle and Flowchart listener. If you just go to EasyWebinar.com, you could still buy it, but you're not gonna get the cool discount that you get because you're a Hustle and Flowchart listener. So go to easywebinar.com hustle, hustle, hustle.

And then you get hooked up, Hook it up. All right. Anything else? Well, hey, share this bad boy around. If there's a friend of yours or someone that you're working with that needs to maybe experience a little bit more in life, little different perspectives.

Here's a little slap of the Woo Woo.

Slap of the Woo Woo. Should that be the title of this thing?

A little slap of the Woo Woo.

This is your necessary slack. Slap at the Woo Woo. Yeah, Slap at the Woo Woo. The domain available.

It just sounds dirty when you keep saying it.

Let me give you a little slap. A little slap of the woo Woo.

Yeah, you add a couple words in there. It sounds really dirty. I'm going to slap you in the Woo Woo.

I know.

Where is that located? Hey, the domain's available. Should we get it?

Slap of the Woo Woo. We could. We could buy it, but it'll be $10 we spend and never actually use.

Yeah. It would only be for the folks here listening and, like, what did they put on that website? A big hand in. I don't know what the Woo Woo would be represented as.

I don't know. Hey, a chakra.

No. Why would you do that, though? Because that's your energy, man.

No, but it's a picture.

It's not like it's still energy. Everything's energy.

Yeah, it is. You need energy. Energy to. Never mind.

So it was a slap, I guess, huh? It's all energy.

That's a transfer of energy from one person to another.

Yeah, now we're getting all sciency. Damn, that's cool. All right, what else do you know about energy, Matt?

Nothing. I didn't even know I was being scientific.

All right, well, let's wrap this up, share this thing around. Go. Leave us a rating review. If there's something specific that stood out to you, we'd like to hear about it in. In a form of a review, because we will read those.

Yes.

And one day we'll actually read them on air like we've been promising for the last months.

Oh, yeah, we were going to do that.

Oh, yeah.

Well, this outro is 20 minutes now, so we'll do it on the next episode.

Thank you.

Bye bye. Love you. Thanks everybody for listening to this episode of the Hustle and Flowchart podcast, for taking the time to listen. We want to give you something a little bit special. Every single episode that we do, we actually have somebody on our team take notes. We basically have a Cliff's Notes version of every episode where you can go and find all of the tips and tactics that they laid out, all of the resources that they laid out, all the good stuff from this episode. We actually have a nice simple notes version that you can find on our website. So go to evergreenprofits.com find this episode that you just listened to and give us your email address and we'll send you the notes. Thanks for listening.

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