Eternal Wisdom: Honoring Dr. Sean Stephenson's Unstoppable Legacy - Genius Network Episode #197

Anytime you're in a dark space, pull out a piece of paper, pull out a pen, just start writing down, what do you do want? What do you want? Here's what I want. Here's what I want. You don't even need to know how you're gonna go do this. When you focus on a compelling future, you are pulled forward. If you'd like to join world renowned entrepreneurs at the next Genius Network event or want to learn more about Genius network, go to www.giusnetwork.com. you're gonna be constantly fed great ideas and constantly fed great opportunities, networking opportunities. But what benefited me most that I would hope that you take on is learning to trust your intuition. And we use that word, like a lot around this part. But quieting your mind and going into the heart and saying, what do I want? Like, what is it that I want? Because I think most of us, we've gotten really good at pleasing and good at impressing and good at validating. But really, at the end of the day, like, do you trust yourself in making your decisions? And if you make a decision and you know it's right, like, I'm gonna work on this project for the next three months. It may not make any money, but it's gonna feed my heart, it's gonna feed my soul, and I'm not doing it for anybody else's approval. And. And then you do that, you will respect yourself more. And that's the thing is you want to develop your ability to trust yourself, then you have to be more respectful to yourself by following through on things for yourself. And not just like, you know, I'm doing this for me in like an egotistical way. But, like, no, I felt called to be a part of this project. And three months later, you might find that it didn't make you any money, but you had to learn things along the way. And I just had a birthday and like a huge epiphany, which is I thought that to get to the level of wealth that I want, I need to be a harder worker and more self disciplined. And one of my buddies who is a multimillionaire, and he's like, this is your problem. It's been your problem for the last 20 years that I've known you, Sean, 24 years. He said, you think you need to work harder? You. You just need to stop working. And I'm like, wait, what? I've been beating myself up all these years thinking I don't work hard enough, and you're telling me to stop working? He's Like, I just want you to play. He's like, you got to play around people that you make money with. And if you help these people play, they'll give you more money. And he said, just stop working. Work is hurting you. Some people fucking love work. There are people in this room that like, they get juiced by the word work. It just drained me. And so for me, the big shift in being able to decide which projects to be a part of and what to follow is, is it bring me play? Do I feel lighter? And is it what I ultimately want? And when you get in dialed into that level of like self trust and self respect, you don't need other people to agree with it. You know, I mean, Joe and I have known each other for what, 18 years maybe? Yeah, yeah. And the mistake I feel we both made in our friendship is a lot of times we look for each other to approve of each other's ideas. And really the best ideas, you don't need approval for, you just know it. That's how I knew to marry the woman of my dreams, Mindy, is because I didn't need your approval for it. And that was a huge shift because every other girl I had been with, I felt like, hey, what do you think of her? Do you want to. Can you? And like, finally I met this girl. I'm like, fuck what you guys think. This is the one. And, and I think when you can bring that into projects and bring that into your health and like, the more you could just get to the point where you're lovingly non militant but like lovingly guided to listen to yourself, shit just shows up. And it sounds magical, but it's so fucking true that when you know what you want and you don't care what other people think, the universe lines up and gives you it all. Like, that's just what I've been seeing. Yeah. So what I found when it comes to developing your self trust in making sure that you're doing the right thing and not like a negative, toxic thing, is where's your level of self care at the time? If your level of self care is in the toilet, you probably shouldn't trust yourself in that moment. So like, if you're not taking care of your health, wealth, and like your mind, your body, your spirit, then you're probably coming out with some crappy, negative, toxic decisions. But if you are like doing an awesome job in the gym and you're connecting with your kids and you are meditating and journaling and like your self care is overflowing, that's the time to trust yourself, because the noise and the gratification seeking is out of the space. Many of you know me, Sean Stephenson, as a professional speaker. I believe that that is a huge blessing and an honor. And while you might know me as a professional speaker, that's not where I'm most proud. It's been fun. I love making you laugh and cry. I love creating magic on stages around the world. But at the end of the day, I'm most proud of being a professional listener. I believe that that is a huge blessing and an honor. And while you might know me as a professional speaker, that's not where I'm most proud. It's been fun. I love making you laugh and cry. I love creating magic on stages around the world. But at the end of the day, I'm most proud of being a professional listener. For the last 18 years, I've been a professional listener. It all started because a young lady in my audience, junior high age, she came up to me and she rolled her sleeves up and she had cuts all up and down her arms. And she said, why do I do this to myself, Sean? And at the time, I was a newbie speaker, and I had no clue why somebody would harm themselves. And I said, sweetie, I don't know, but I'm going to go find out. And I went back to school and became a doctor of clinical hypnosis because I wanted to study the unconscious mind. Why are you not loving being you? I think the greatest tragedy is when a human doesn't love being them. And one of the things that I really am good at is loving myself. People come up to me and they're like, oh, Shawn, I'd love to have your confidence. I'd love to have your poise up on stage, Sean. I'd love to be able to sit down and be able to work on a project like you. But listen, none of that matters. If you don't love yourself. It doesn't matter how much money you have. It doesn't matter how productive you are. It doesn't matter how many people you reach. If you aren't loving being you, you're not playing right. And so today, what I thought would be the best thing I could do is teach you how to love being you. So I'm going to teach you a formula. This formula. I call it the unstoppable formula, because I've seen people stopped. I counsel the entrepreneur who's burning out. Their lives are crashing down. Their marriages are coming unglued, Their bodies are aching and they're in pain. They don't even know their children. People come to me not because their life is perfect and they have it together. No, they come to me in the shadow to say, sean, I need help. And here's what I found. That there is a way to be miserable. So what I want to start off before I tell you how to be unstoppable is I want to teach you how to be miserable. Okay? Many of you do it very well. Okay? So here's what you're doing when you're miserable. Write this down. You're going to share it with your kids. You're going to share it with your employees. This, in my own humble, not so humble opinion, is going to be the most valuable thing. You're going to learn to be miserable. All you need to do is focus on what you don't want, what you don't have, and what you don't like. That's it. Anytime you're miserable, it's because you're focused on what you don't want, don't have, don't like. Well, what do we call that? Well, don't want is our fears. But what if I fail? But what if I look bad? What if I screw up this huge deal? But what if I can't get out of this partnership? But what if this is a horrible trap to be in? When you're focused on what you don't want, you're miserable. And guess what happens when you focus on what you don't want? That's like walking backwards into your future. I don't walk, but I'm pretty sure you all don't go really well backwards. Most of you would trip if you tried to go everywhere in your life walking backwards. And that's what you're doing when you're focused on what you don't want. Number two is when you focused on what you don't have. That's all your envy. I heard the key to getting into heaven is quoting Dan Sullivan. So Dan says, when you are envious, you block the very thing that you want. So we cannot be sitting around going, oh, I want Joe Polish's sense of humor. No one says that. But I want. You know, when we spend our time focused on what we don't want, we drain ourselves what we don't have, then we upset ourselves. And lastly, when we focus on we don't like, that's all of our complaints. Do you know how much of your life you waste complaining? Each and every one of you, myself included, think about how much energy you Lose complaining. Oh, this room's too cold. Oh, I don't like the food here. Oh, I didn't like my airplane today because it wasn't big enough. I don't like this. I don't like that. You know, I don't like this about my spouse. I don't like that about my children. I don't like this about my house. I don't like that about my car. Do you know how much of your energy is being worth wasted talking about what you don't like? We need to clean that up. So here's how you can feel. Amazing. It's very simple. Flip it upside down, focus on what you do want. Those are your goals. Anytime you're in a dark space, pull out a piece of paper, pull out a pen, just start writing down, what do you do want? What do you want? Here's what I want. Here's what I want. You don't even need to know how you're going to go do this. When you focus on a compelling future, you are pulled forward. I've worked with so many people that they were told just like I was, you're not going to live past such and such date. The people that had the big goals, they were the ones that had something to go toward. I think it's more important to have a goal than to achieve a goal. Yeah, I said it, I said it to a room of entrepreneurs. I think it's more important that you have a goal than that you achieve the goal because achievement is oftentimes disappointing. Raise your hand if you've ever done something. And then when you did it, you were like, oh, that's all I got. But enough about marriage. No, so I love my wife. When you focus on the goal, you have something to move toward. I can promise you right now, if you came to Genius Network and you're going through a miserable time, it's because you don't have compelling enough goals. Second is you got to flip it upside down. Instead of having the envies, you got to have all that appreciation. The opposite of envy is appreciation and gratitude. Find me somebody who loves everything that's going on in their life that wants to kill themselves. Find me somebody who is like, oh, I love my children, I love my life, I love my connection to God, I love my dreams, I love my house, I love my car. Look, gratitude and misery don't hang out together. When you see me, a three foot tall man in a wheelchair and you're thinking, how does he have so much confidence? Is it a joke? Is it an act? Is it a fake? No. It's because I believe I chose this container. I believe you wouldn't listen to me the way you do if I looked like you. Do you get that? If I looked like you, you couldn't hear me. So here I am. I am somebody that is just filled with gratitude. And the third component is so very valuable. And that is not your complaints, but your preferences. What do you like to do? Many of you are so rich and broke, you're broke because you're not using your money for fun. Let me tell you, Send me some of your money. I'll show you how much fun you can have. One of the reasons why I love Joe Pollard so much is because, Joe, amongst all of you powerful entrepreneurs, Joe is somebody that still goes to the movie in the middle of the week. He'll call me up and say, hey, do you want to see a movie? I'm like, sure. When? He's like, now. And I'm like, thanks for the advance notice. And so I say yes. I moved to Arizona for three reasons. My wife and I, Mindy and I, we decided we wanted to be in warmer weather. Mindy and I, we decided that we wanted to be close to her brother, who has our nephew. We wanted to see him grow up. And third, we decided we wanted to be close to the Genius Network. I moved here before I was a member because I just wanted to be around the airspace of greatness. That's why you need to be in this room. That's why you need to sign up for Genius Network. Not so you can learn the tactics on how to get more money and more business and have more visibility and likes and conversions. Fuck that. No, you want to join this group because you want to be around the airspace of greatness. Because when you're around greatness, good things happen. What do you like to do? Do you like taking baths? Hot baths? Do you like reading? Do you like hanging out with your children? Do you like going for walks with your lover? What do you like to do? Because if you're miserable, I know you're not doing those things anymore. What are you waiting for? You think you gotta get that deal done before you can have a good day? If you don't like your life right now, you're not gonna like your life 10 years from now, 20 years from now. If you aren't willing to like your life right now, with what you have, no amount of money, happiness, visibility is going to matter. So do this. Take a deep breath in. Let it out. I'm going to teach you how to be unstoppable. Here's something I found that when clients come out of my office, when they work that 12 hours with me, they peel back the layers of BS and they say, sean, I'm ready to love my life. And let me tell you, if you have kids, the best thing you could do is show them what it looks like to love your life. Everybody always says, oh, I want to teach my child these values. I want to teach them. I'm going to do all these things. Like they're going to listen to you. Your kids don't listen to you. They watch you. Raise your hand if you would die for your children. Keep your hand up. If you're living for them, are you living for them? You know, I counsel people that are going through horrible relationships and they'll say, sean, I don't know what to do. I want to make such an impact on my children. And I'm like, well, then go have love in your life and may it first be with you. Here's how you be unstoppable. I'm going to prove it to you in a second up real time. These three components is 18 years of therapy just shrunk down time compressed number one. If you want to be unstoppable, you need impeccable self care. Repeat after me. Impeccable self care. There was no happiness in this room. Impeccable self care. Because when you have impeccable self care, no insecurity has a chance on your confidence. Dan Sullivan says that you must protect your confidence at all costs. As an entrepreneur, anything that is going to get in the way of you feeling confident is jeopardizing your life. And impeccable self care. When you work on yourself, your mind, your body, your spirit, and you track it. I walk around with a binder with all my self care activities and I'm checking them off as I go in my way. More about my self care than my income. Here's why. Because if you have income without self care, it won't matter. You won't like yourself, you won't like the person in the mirror. Your children will wonder, do I really want to grow up and be like that? You need impeccable self care because the cure to insecurity. Here you go. The cure to insecurity is self care. Have they ever noticed that when you're insecure, you don't really flow that Midas touch? Raise your hand if you know what I'm talking about. You flow the manure touch, right? It's like everything you turn touch turns to shit when you aren't taking care of yourself. Impeccable self care. The second component, and this is huge. And this is why I do what I do. It's why I wake up in the morning. It's why my eyes open every single day and I get out of the bed, get into this wheelchair, head out into the world, cram myself into little airplanes, drive for miles, stay in different hotels, eat different foods, take the risks on my body. Every single day is for the second component. And that is you need to align with your life purpose. Why were you born? When you know why you were born, you will get God's caffeine and that will pump through your veins and you will not be stopped. And the third part of my unstoppable formula is surround yourself with empowering people. Get in the airspace of greatness. You know what's great about being a genius network member? You get to do all three at once. When you're in the Genius network, you are going to learn about how to get more impeccable self care. How do you get more aligned with that life purpose? How do you peel away anything that is standing in the way of you having more woo? And you get to be in an airspace of greatness. I just want all of you to know that there's more of you inside of you than you have shown us and you've shown yourself. There is always an equal amount of evidence to prove that your life sucks and that your life is a gift and a miracle. Find how you can create a life that is unstoppable. It has been a pleasure, an honor and a privilege to be with you. Thank you so much. I surround myself with 21 mentors. Joe is one of them. And these mentors are successful in different categories. And I found that even they struggle when they don't follow the system that I'm about to share with you. So I reverse engineered what I'm about to tell you by looking at when their lives are working and when their lives are really filled with stress and negativity. This isn't just like my idea. This is based on watching people that are way more successful, that they have followed this closely as well. And someone, what I'm going to tell you might sound like common sense. And I want you to know that common sense is only common sense if it's common practice. You write that on the side. And so when an amateur hears something that they've heard before, their normal response is, I know that. But when a master hears something that they've heard before, they go, ah, thank you for the reminder. And that just positions me to be a master. Right? And you're a master whenever you come from that mentality. So the first thing is the cure to insecurity. The first thing that you're going to fill in on that, that line that's empty is the cure to insecurity is self care. I found this pattern that when our insecurities are knocking at the door most, when they're banging at the door, when they're whispering, you're never going to make this. This project is way too big. How did you ever think you could handle being in a relationship and make good money? Do you really think your children are going to grow on to be incredible inspiration to others or are they just going to be screw ups like you? When those voices are knocking at our doors most heavily, it's when we are not taking the best care of ourselves. And when those voices are quieted, it's because we are taking incredible care of ourselves. And I found this by just searching and searching. My insecurities ate me alive growing up. I was thinking, why would anybody want to listen to me? Why would anybody want to date me? Why would anybody want to do business with a little man in a wheelchair? Do I make them uncomfortable? Are they going to like me? And all these fears and insecurities growing up. And then I started to study success and people that have tremendous rewards in life and I found that they have rituals of self care. And as I put started putting into place my self care rituals, the insecurities didn't go away. They just got so quiet I could no longer hear them. And I don't care what behavioral expert tells you what I'm about to tell you. It really comes down to checking in with your own gut. But you can tell yourself, you can see it in your own life that when you are most chaotic, when you are most insecure, when you are most afraid, it's because you're not focused on your own self care. And as you start working on your self care, those insecurities start to quiet. And that's why I found out that insecurity never goes away. The cure to insecurity is knowing that it never goes away. So we have to be ahead of the curve. We have to be living a life that keeps our insecurities dormant. So the second statement that you're going to fill in is you crave what you give yourself most. You crave what you give yourself most. I've applied this so many times. When I was on a horrible diet in my life and I was. My favorite foods were pizza, Mac and cheese and Dr. Pepper. And it was just on this horrible cycle, I craved pizza, Mac and cheese and Dr. Pepper. Why? Because we crave what we give ourselves most. When I started to give myself broccoli and I started to drink green drinks, at first it was awful. I pushed it away, I didn't like it. But the more I gave myself broccoli and green drinks and the more I started to give it myself more often, the more I started to crave it. Self care is the same way. The more self care you give yourself, the more you will crave self care. And so when you're thinking about insecurities and self care, it's very clear. When you're doubting yourself, when you're afraid, when you're second guessing yourself, that's just a light bulb that's come on to remind you that you need to take better care of yourself. The third thing, when you're in the environment, write it down. When you're in the environment, you become the environment. That's why you have to make self care an environment that you get all your family and your friends behind you to know your self care rituals. They need to know what I'm about to teach you because they need to hold you to it. They need to know what? When you're going through a period where you're questioning yourself and you're doubting instead of being scared, like oh geez, what do I tell this person? They just need to say hey, are you doing your self care? Sometimes we just need a reminder to work on our self care list. The first one is your when life works list. So the blank is when life works list. And then if you go down a little further, the second list is when business works list. I'm choosing to be vulnerable and open with you here and share with you my very private list because then you're gonna make one yourself. You're self careless. I found that for me I need variety or I grow bored. Raise your hand if you grow bored easily. If you have to do the same thing. Yeah. So for me what I did is in my when life works list. I just went back in time in my own mind when my life was working, in my health, my wealth and my relationships. What was I doing then that I'm not doing now that I'm feeling a little turbulent? There are things that we forget to do because we don't put them in print, because we don't keep them around Us. You've heard the statement, out of sight, out of mind. Well, insight in mind. So what I have is I have these two boards. I've had this for years, and this is what keeps all my insecurities at bay. I have this one LifeWorks list, and it's a series of 16 action items. They're all easy for me to do, but I only have to do four of them a day. Things like hydrate, exercise, you know, meditate, journal, get consistent restful sleep, proper hygiene, and grooming. When you're an entrepreneur and you work from yourself, maybe you work at home, it's very easy not to shower, right? Okay. It's just me. So anyway, I have these series of items here, the When Life Works list. And then in my business, I took the same principle and I started thinking, like, creating consistent viral content, writing my list, having sales conversations, being on podcasts. These are the things that if I just pick them, when I feel like my sales are low, I just go to my When Business Works list. Or when my life feels chaotic, I go to my When Life Works list. So I want you to look at your paper right now, and I want you to just write down, for the sake of time, write down one thing on health that when you do it, your life works. All right? I want you to write down what's one thing in wealth that when you do it? And the last one is relationships. What's one thing that when you're doing this in your relationship, your relationships just work smoothly. I want you to think about what are the things in my life and my business that are very simple for me to do, but when I apply them, my life and my business works. Your insecurities are just warning symbols. They're just lights that are going on in your mind to tell you you're not taking good care of yourself. I care about each of your lives. Because as we make this group better, we all make each other better. Don't miss another episode of Genius Network. Subscribe today at geniusnetwork.com forward slash subscribe. If you would like access to the show, notes or resources mentioned, please visit geniusnetwork.com 197.