Miracles are Possible & You Are The One with Kute Blackson - I Love Marketing Episode #299

I'm dean jackson, he's joe polish and this is the I love marketing podcast.

In this episode you'll discover what you're born for, how to find your passion and discover your destiny, the importance of truth practices you can put into action to feel more peace and happiness almost immediately and more with Genius Network member Coot Blackson. Coot is a visionary and transformational leader. He offers a unique approach to the inside out approach to living, which he calls liberated living, which means you can live, give and share the truest expression of yourself. If you would like access to the full feature presentation, the show notes and the special resources for this episode, please visit ilovemarketing.com 299 that's ilovemarketing.com 299 hello.

This is Joe Polish and I've got Coote Blackson on the line with me. Can you hear me okay, Coot?

I can.

Well hey, it's a pleasure to be finally doing an interview with you and having a conversation which I know is going to be really valuable and impactful and useful for all of our listeners. So let me give a quick bio of who you are and then we will jump into some questions. So if you don't know who Kute is, his name is Kute Blackson. Spelled K U T E B L A C K S O N yes. Look him up online. Lots of good stuff out there. He's the author of the national best selling book youk Are the One and is widely considered the next generation leader in the field of personal development by everyone ranging from Larry King, Jack Canfield, Marianne Williamson and more. He's been featured on Larry King, now, fox and friends, Dr. Drew and more. He's a charismatic visionary and a transformational teacher. Coot offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Coutts multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanian, if I said that right, father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual's true gifts and greatness. For over 20 years, Kut has been inspiring audiences around the world. From the first time he spoke in front of 3,000 people at the age of 8. Yes, 8 years old. To speaking in over 300 venues by age 18 to helping organizations develop authentic leadership and achieve extraordinary performance over the last decade. His electrifying presentations not only offer real world practical advice and soul stirring wisdom, but also ignite the heart and inspire courageous action. So his mission Is simple to awaken and inspire people across the world to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their life's purpose. So coot, you know, that pretty much sounds like you totally have your act together.

So what is your response when you.

Hear people, you know, read your, read your bio? How do you think about yourself when you hear that?

You know, I mean, it's an aspect of who I am. But you know, the way I see it, I take it seriously. But I also don't take it seriously. I mean, like anyone, I'm human, I have my process, I have my own kind of evolutionary process that I'm in. So, you know, it's just an aspect of who I am. You know, it's amusing to me, you.

Know, the whole question that everyone gets asked, especially when you don't know what else to ask someone, say, be it a business event or at the dinner or wherever, you know, and people say, what do you do? Who are you? How do you typically respond?

I'll be honest, you know, just if I'm speaking honestly, I sometimes find it hard to say, you know, what I do specifically because I've always told people I don't really do anything. If anything, I, I don't coach people, I don't teach people, I don't really train people. Even though I do, if anything, I untrain, I uncoach, I uncondition, I undo people from their conditioning. And so that's in a sense what I do. You know, I think from the moment we're born as children, we're born free, we're born whole, we're born complete, we're born in touch with our divinity, our infinity, our true essence, you know, that free flowing nature. But we lose touch with that for various reasons which we can talk about, but we lose touch with that. So what I really do is I create processes, experiences, opportunities. Whether it's one on one, whether it's in large groups, small groups, transformational journeys in Bali and India, in the US And I help create experiential processes that really are designed to help people get to the root of that conditioning and help people, you could say, break through some of those, become conscious and become aware of and break through some of their limitations. So it's more of an undoing and uncoaching that I really do for people.

Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, you've heard me talk about, I think unlearning is more important than learning. And I've really learned that out of my work of recovery with being an addict and having sat through many 12 step meetings and other types of meetings and, and seeking and pursuing and reading and going to seminars and hiring therapists and doing all of this stuff, trying to figure out what to do, what to do, what to do. And sometimes it's not about what to do, it's about unlearning what is causing you to, you know, or me, in my particular case, to have things not work. So, yeah, we'll go into that. So let me kind of back up then and kind of go to the beginning. I think it's always useful to hear what led someone to where they're at and why we're doing this interview right now and everything that has now accumulated into what is now your life work and the fantastic book that you recently wrote and all that. So how did you get started doing this work? Because like I mentioned in the beginning, you gave your first speech at 8 years old, which not many 8 year olds given, you know, talks to thousands of people. So like, give us kind of the history.

Yeah, I remember being. Honestly, I remember being around age 5, age 6, and I felt this, you know, it's hard to explain. I felt this weird feeling, this sense, this calling that I was meant to make a difference in people's lives. I didn't know exactly what that was going to look like, Joe, but I really felt it very strongly. Like it was more of an impulse, it was a pull. And probably around 7, 6, 7, I was a chubby kid. And I remember being one of the first memories that started my journey. I remember being lost in the crowd in Ghana, West Africa, and literally seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor. Might sound a little out there, but I swear I saw it with my own eyes. I literally saw this crippled woman calling on the floor. And she picks up the sand that this man walks on and wipes it on her face. And literally in front of me, stands up, the crowd erupts, goes crazy. Call it a miracle. She was healed. And so week after week, you know, from then, I remember seeing blind people see and deaf people hear. And you know, the same man who Sanshee picked up, he would look at a woman in a wheelchair, for example, and he would put his hands on her and say, why in this wheelchair, stand up? And minutes later, you know, she would say, but I'm sick. And this would go back and forth and sure enough, she would stand up and people come in with crutches and they'd say, throw your crutches away and throw the questions away. And so miracle. I grew up around miracles. And this man was my father. My father built about approximately 300, 200 and some to 300 churches in Ghana. West Africa had a huge church in London. I mean we're talking about like every Sunday. At its height, There are about 5 to 6,000 people in South London. So I grew up in this environment. And you know how I started speaking was I was the. Like any kid, I hated going to church and I just would rather play soccer. And that's what I did in the lobby. And one day think over too well with my dad, I was just dragged and yanked and put on the front row of my father's church where there's these five, six thousand people. And I literally just fell asleep. And one Sunday my father announced to the audience, my son is going to give the talk, the sermon today. And being half asleep, someone wakes me up, throws me on stage and words just, I guess you could say just spontaneously, you know, start coming out of my mouth. I don't really remember what I said, it was just, I just started speaking and people clapped and were moved and so that you could say, began my in quotation mark speaking career. And it was very strange because I didn't speak to my father about it. Literally, it just sort of happened. And so something just happened for me that I couldn't explain. And from around that point I became really obsessed with just trying to understand life and what's life about and why we here and you know, who am I, why are we here? Where am I going? What's the meaning of all of this? What's the purpose of all of this? So from around 8, 9, I picked up my first self help book, which I'll never forget was by a woman called Shakti Gawain who wrote Creative Visualization. And I literally, from 8 to 8:18, Joe became obsessed with just trying to figure life out. I read every book on self help from people like Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Martin Williamson, Wayne Dyer, Lewis Hay, you know, Nathaniel Brand, all the sort of Western gurus to some of the Eastern mystics, people like Maharishi Mish Yogi, Krishnamurti, Yogananda, and just became obsessed with personal growth and spirituality. And so When I was 14, my father announced to the congregation, my son is going to be taking over the ministry. And you know, he had hundreds of thousands of followers in Ghana, huge church in London, 300 churches. So it was a huge responsibility. My life, my entire life was, you could say, mapped out for me. Everyone had these hopes and expectations and yet my heart sank. When I was 14, my heart sank because I knew, you know, that feeling when you know, like something isn't quite right. Up until that moment, I didn't really know there was another way to, you could say, make a difference in people's lives. And yet when he announced the congregation, My son's taking over my church. He's going to be my successor. He is the heir to the organization. Knew something was off. But I was honestly too afraid to speak the truth to my father. I was too afraid to be honest. I was too afraid to confront him. I didn't want to lose his love. I didn't want to be outcast. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to be abandoned. I was terrified. And so I said nothing for about four years. But, you know, the truth has a way of burning you up. And so for about four years I suppressed the truth and, you know, kind of did my best to go along with it, did my best to work with it. And it reached the point when I was 17, when it was, it was really too painful. I saw my entire future set out in front, in front of me that I could follow everyone else's expectations for my life. I could follow the life that my father wanted for me and the congregation wanted for me. And I was, I was afraid of rocking the boat. And when I looked at that, I realized I could be successful by everyone else's standards. But if I don't have myself, if I don't have my truth, if I don't have who I am, I have nothing. And I felt a deep. The pain of that, the pain of living a lie was so painful because I realized I'm going to have to basically live this life for the rest of my life. And then I don't really have an authentic life. I don't have a life that I just. It was so painful that I knew I had to make a different choice. And you know, I'd read all these self help books. I believe in the power, positive thinking and law of attraction and thoughts create your reality. And, and so I said, okay, universe, I'm going to. If all this stuff is true, I'm going to follow my soul. I've read in all these books that, you know, follow your truth, follow your soul, the universe is there to support you. So I figured, let me really test this stuff out. And I had to have a very, very, very life changing and challenging conversation with my father at age 17. I'll never forget that moment. I pretty much made peace that I would never, you know, I'd be outcast, would never speak again. But I made the decision that nothing was worth compromising my truth and my. My soul's knowing. And looked my father in the eyes at 17 and a half. Told him, dad, I'm not taking over your churches. I'm not taking over your. Your ministry. He said, are you sure? I said, yes. He said, are you really sure? I said yes. And then that was it. We literally didn't. We barely spoke for two years. And then I was kind of left in a void, Joe. And I said, okay, universe, you've given me this vision to impact people, and I feel like I'm meant to reach millions of people in my lifetime. What do I do? Cut a long story short. The next week, I was at school. Someone hands me the magazine called the Economist. I look at the back of this magazine. It says, the American government's given away 55,000 green cards in the green card lottery. I felt chills in my body. I felt like this was the way that the universe was supporting me. And I really feel like when we follow our truth, somehow we bring ourselves into the flow of life, into the flow of the universe. And so I applied. The American government literally gives away 55,000 green cards in a green card lottery. And so I applied. And I had this deep, profound, strange inkling I was going to win. I was told that this was around April. I was told that unless I heard, unless I was notified by around September 18th, then I'd be notified by September 18th. If I hadn't heard by then, then just move on with my life. So every day I'm visualizing Joe. I'm expecting to win this green card. I'm practicing the affirmation techniques As a teenager. I'm just doing all this stuff, nothing. And I'm feeling deeply let down. September 18th. Nothing. I go to sleep. I'm pissed off at the world, mad at God, feel totally let down. I have no money, no support from my parents, from my father, at least. And now I've already told him I'm leaving. I've already, you could say, burnt the bridges. I go to sleep. We get a phone call. My mother picks it up. She says, it's a call for you. I hear American voice on the other line, says, is this Mr. Blackson? I said, yes. He says, this is the law firm that applied for your. For your green card application in the lottery. You've won a green card. And I literally jumped up, couldn't believe it. I was just shocked and surprised and celebrating. Then I heard this voice that said, why are you so surprised, Cooper? Why do you seem so surprised? You knew deep down that you were going to win. Have faith. Like, did you not have faith? And that was a real, you could say, guiding moment in my life that has given me a lot of courage despite some of the challenges and difficulties I've been through over the years. I'll never forget that moment. And that's what you could say gave me the impetus and the foundation to come to the US with two suitcases, one suitcase full of books and tapes and all the Jim Rohn tapes and books that I'd read and the other suitcase full of clothes, about thousand dollars. And came to the US as a literally an 18 year old kid. No, no one came straight to LA. And I chose LA because this is where most of the self help gurus were and went and found many of the guys. You know, Joe went and found many of the self help gurus and the Deepak Troopers of the world, Man Williamson's knocked on some of their doors, sat some of their feet, went to their seminars, harassed some of them, Jack Canfield, Marc Victor Hansen, you know, and they got kicked out some of their offices. But I was obsessed with really trying to just understand life and wanted to go into this field. For me, it wasn't. It was just a burning passion. And so that's what brought me here. And it was really out of that evolution that I began, you know, realizing some of the beauty of their approaches, some of the limitations. And then I start traveling to India and, you know, had profound experiences there. And it was really coming back from India about 16, 17 years ago that had some profound inner experiences and epiphanies and awarenesses. And it was out of that inner freedom that I felt that I really felt moved and inspired to start coaching people and helping people one on one at the time. And it's just, you know, over 15, 16 years, has just grown ever since.

Wow. There's. Well, there's a lot there. I appreciate all that. So a couple things I want to touch on and go through with you.

Yes.

Because, you know, when I hear of things and you've told me about your father, of course, before, at least the early stages. Where is he now?

He's in Ghana now. He goes back and forth between London and Ghana, but he's mainly, he's older now, you know, he's in his 80s, so pretty much been in Ghana for the last year and a half. So he's based there.

Okay. And when, yeah, when I hear things like, you know, the Picking up the sand, the crippled woman walking, and spontaneous healing. You know, there's the side of me that's like, what?

That's bullshit.

I mean, come on, like, what's going on here? And, you know, of course, you've heard that a lot, too. And there's a side of me that also knows the power of the mind. I mean, speaking for myself, which is the only human I really can speak from with my own knowing is, you know, physical pain is an example. I mean, you know, when I learned about Dr. John Sarno's work, and, you know, I've done interviews with Steve Ozanet, who wrote Healing Back Pain, Permanent Healing. And knowing how much the mind is involved in repressed emotions are involved in all the work that I'm doing on addiction. I know that the mind is an incredible thing, but when I hear things like that, I think, is it the individual that healed the person, or is it like a placebo effect? Was the person or the other options. People make it up. They say they saw this, but they really didn't see it. And of course, I've spent enough time hanging around you to where everything I know about you, you're just a genuine, caring, loving, awesome human that wants to help people. And I want people to be able to not invalidate something because they're thinking there's just no way that. I mean, does that still happen with him? Is there any evidence?

I fully. I mean, look what you're. Your skepticism, and probably certain people, skepticism is cut. I mean, it's completely accurate. I mean, this is some of the type of shit you see on television going, this is completely fake. I mean, as a kid, I honestly, I didn't know anything different. It was. It wasn't weird. It wasn't strange. It wasn't, like, miraculous. It was just. For me, it was just what I grew up with. No, this was before the days of Twitter and Facebook and Snapchat and social media and YouTube. This was like, no cameras, no social media, just happening right in front of me and thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people witnessing it. And that's how my father grew his career, because he became known as the miracle man of Africa. So as a kid, I would go to school, Joe, and I will tell my friends and my teachers, oh, like, matter of fact, Because I thought, well, isn't like everyone's life like that? I will go to school and tell my friends. At age 7 and age 8, this woman set up a wheelchair. They thought I was delusional and crazy. One day, the teacher Came to my dad's church in Wandsworth in London, South London. Saw it, couldn't believe this was like a weekly theme. And so years later, honestly, I asked my father, like, how do these healings happen? You know, I remember when I was. So you say, do these healings still happen? Yes. I remember when I was probably 2008, I was in Ghana again, I kid you not. 2007, 2008, I was in Ghana. Similar thing happened. Literally, there's about 10,000 people in the audience. The audience erupts. My father's walking. This woman, you know, is literally calling, picks up the stand, wipes. I mean, week after week, stuff like that is known to happen. So I finally sat my father down, me and him, no one around, going, what's the deal? Like, you're known as the miracle man. Presidents come to see you. The president of Ghana. You know, I'm named after the president, one of the presidents of Ghana, because my father healed his mother and predicted he was going to be the president. He became the president 15 years later. What's the deal? How do you heal people? He looked at me, no one around, and he said, I, of myself as a person, do not heal people. Okay, what do you do? He goes, I just simply see the reality of the truth of someone, and I believe the truth of who we are is whole, perfect, and complete. I see the truth of who a person is. I don't see the fact that they're sick. I don't see the fact that they're in a wheelchair. I see the perfection of their being, of the essence, of the truth of the reality of who they are. And I hold that reality. And he said, if that person is able to meet me in that reality and align with that reality, you could say, believe in that reality. Because he would always ask people, do you believe? If they're able to believe, then we meet in that reality. Then he said, then the miracle happens. And he said, if they don't believe, then it doesn't happen. And so I was kind of inspired by that. And so what I really got is there has to be an agreement. It's like money. What is money? Money is a piece of paper. But when people agree that money is valuable, it means something, a miracle occurs, and it actually now has some kind of value. And so that was really inspiring, you know. And so for me, yes, I grew up around miracles and seeing all sorts of seemingly outlandish things. But I really feel like, you know, the real miracle, Joe, isn't it's the fact that every Day, you and I, we get to wake up and right this very second, as we're speaking like you and I are speaking right now, and we are being breathed however many times in a minute, we are being like, if we just think about it for a second, we are being breathed by a life force. Some call it God, some call it intelligence, some call it pure consciousness. Whatever label you want to call it, I don't really care. But we are, it can't be argued, we are being breathed by something. There are trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of cells and processes that are occurring in every single one of us. To be able to see, touch, taste, smell, feel our body, digest food, how is that happening? If we really bring our awareness to that moment, it is grace that is a miracle. Every second is miraculous if we really just think about it for a moment. So I think you don't have to look far, you don't have to believe in, I don't care if people believe in that or not. It's not necessary. But just you and I, you and I, me and you, we are living, breathing miracles. And I think just, just even bringing our attention to that dimension of ourselves, I think can open us up to tremendous gratitude and awe in terms of who we are as human beings. And I think that's, that's the real miracle. That's enough, you know, and, and then the fact that, look, I have my history and my pain and my traumas, you have your shit, Joe, and everyone else has their stuff, and the fact that we can somehow come together and have this interaction and have a conversation and talk to each other, the fact that we can each have relationships and get married and understand each other and fall in love, I mean, it's freaking miraculous, you know, and so. And I think we have to look that far.

No, that's great. There's a lot there. At 17 years old, it's pretty evolved to be able to be where you're at. I imagine you credit your father or the circumstances for a lot of that. Or was it something else? Where did this drive and this desire in you come from? And I want you to wrap that into why the draw to self help? Because most people at that early of an age are not absorbing tons of self help books. I mean, I certainly was. And part of it, my early, you know, my teens were doing drugs to try to quench the pain and the boredom and the anxiety and the depression and all of the, you know, emotions I was feeling while I was simultaneously seeking and reaching out for help and trying to figure out ways to do it, which of course went into my adult life also. But you just had this incredible draw to self help. And most people that I know that have a draw to self help were trying to escape pain more than they were trying to pursue pleasure trying to. I mean, I know both types. I know people that had very positive and supportive upbringings and childhoods, and they just had a real, you know, part of them that just wanted to better themselves and learn more. However, that's not the majority of people that I know. It's usually the minority. The majority are. They're coming from angst and pain and anguish and stress, and they're seeking all of this stuff to try to figure out how to cope with life. So what, what was it for you at such an early age? The drive and the desire?

Few things. I mean, it's. I hate to use this word, but I think partly destiny. You know, I mean, honestly, Joe, I. I'm not saying my childhood was perfect and idyllic. I mean, there were challenges and pain and, you know, unhappiness and tears and what have you. But. But I just, I really feel it's what I was born for. And it's, you know, honestly, it's hard to explain. Like, it's never been. I mean, yes, I run a business, it's successful, and obviously it reaches people and I want to reach more people. But the roots of what I do and why I do what I do, the impulse arises from this deep.

It's.

It's bigger than me. It's always been bigger than me. It's always been this deeper sense of, like, this is why I was born and this is what I have to do. I, like, I have to do this. I was doing. I was helping people in some shape or form before anyone knew me. I was doing it when I was a kid. It was like, I have to do. I was. I would do it for free. You know, it's just. This is like what I'm engineered, my soul is born to do and I can't. I can't help it. You know, it's hard to explain, Joe, but it's this honest feeling, like I have to do it. I'll be truthful. When I was about. Up until 14, I didn't. I mean, I just thought I was going to take over my father's churches because I didn't know any other way. And then I read, you know, then I started reading Tony Robbins around 12. You know, listen to personal power. Then I read Jack Kenfield and Zig Ziglar and Jim Rohn and the Western guys and Williamson, I'm like, wait a second, Leo Buscaglia? And I thought, wait, these guys, they don't have a church. They don't have this organizational structure and church and this whole religious thing. They're doing it in ballrooms. This is like America and that. So where it took a self help direction was the sense of, wow, there's a whole different way to do it, you know. And I just, I've always felt this, always. One of the things that for me has been a passion. I've always felt this love, this sense of love. Like some people love cars, some people love, you know, food, some people love animals. I've always felt this deep compassion and love for people and it's something I've been encoded with, born with. I just, it's always been there. So for me, there was always a drive to understand people and help people and make people happy and kind of figure out how to get people out of their pain in some way. And so that love for people and passion is what you could say drove me, you know, into this, into this field. And for me, it's a mission, man. You know, it's a mission, it's a calling that is, that is bigger than myself. So, I mean, I always encourage people to really, if they're looking to find their purpose in life, to really first feel into, you know, what you love, what your passion is, what lights you up, what you would do for free, what is truly authentic in your soul. I remember coming to the U.S. joe, and when I first came, I had obviously no money. And one of the first jobs I tried to do was I thought, okay, I'm going to go just make money. And, you know, I was, for the first couple of years, I was really, really struggling. There were times where I would literally sneak. I mean, I was living off of a, you know, a mattress that I had brought off of the street that someone had thrown out on a mattress in a tiny room. I was paying $250 a month and I would literally sneak into the supermarket, steal bread to eat. I mean, that's. I had no money and. And so I figured, okay, I'm going to go, I'm going to try and make some money. And I literally, I went and sold cars in tent sales for like weekends and I was making some money and I was so miserable because literally something for me, for my destiny, maybe not for anyone else, for my unique destiny, my configuration of what my soul needs to learn in this life, it was so not in a. That was so not in alignment with my life path. And it was so out of alignment with what I was here to do that the pain was like palpable. I come home off the weekend for, you know, 20 year old kid made $2,000 in the weekend because I sold some cars miserable. And so I knew that for me, my path wasn't just about making money. My path wasn't just about having material success. That I had to somehow my unique. Some people call it karma, some people call it dharma. My unique life path in this life was to unfold being of service to humanity. And anytime, Joe, I have personally gone away from that, my life doesn't flow. And whenever I am in alignment with that, life flows. And so I've done my best to align myself with my soul's to feel. Not just what do I want in my life. Because you know, we could just say, what do I want? And I'm going to go make it happen. And will that into manifestation into existence in my physical life. Or what I try to do is take a slightly different approach and really ask myself. What I feel is a deeper question is to attune myself to what is it that life is seeking to express through me? What is it that life seeking to unfold through me? Not just like what do I want to make happen with my ego. What is it that life is seeking to express through me? And what I've really sought to do is to do my best to listen and attune myself to that deeper impulse and then align my mind and my actions and my goals and my intentions with that deeper impulse. And so that's really what I've tried to do throughout my life.

Well, you know, let me ask you some questions related to. I always, I mean, you know how I am. I'll play devil's advocate roles because I really want people to kind of get what someone is saying. So, you know, you talk about an authentic life. What does that, what does that mean? Like, how would you define an authentic life? And then I'll go deeper with the question.

I think an authentic life is being who you really are. See, many times you can't live an authentic life being who you're not. You can't live an authentic life living someone else's version for your life. You know, I give this analogy in the beginning, Joe, that when we're born, we're born as children, we're born free. I think especially when we're really young, before all the conditioning shit sets in. We're born free. A child will jump on a table and, you know, sing. It doesn't care if it's not Adele or Bruno Mars or if it's fat. It's, you know, there's a moment, there's a period of time where we are in touch with our essence. We cry when we feel something. We, you know, we're in touch with a free feeling, emotion, you could say our authenticity. I think that's when we look into a child's eyes, we melt because we're reminded of that authentic something magic, our true nature. But two things happen where we meet our parents, which some of whom are screwed up or challenged or, you know, they're just doing the best that they can do based on their history, their pain, their traumas. And so the conditioning begins where we're born into this environment, these free beings. And then, you know, maybe we're born in certain environments. Pain, abuse, trauma, molestation, fighting, divorce. Emotional needs aren't met. So as children, we slowly start to disconnect from our hearts, feeling our authenticity. We start this. Can we start learning all sorts of mechanisms to shut down, suppress, disconnect from feeling the pain of everything that's going around us just so that we can ultimately, simply put, ultimately survive and function and deal with that environment. So we start developing all these strategies and walls and numbing ourselves and doing all these things to just not feel the pain of what's going on around us. And then we start also going into the world and we start learning a way of being. The sense of, who do I need to be in order to be loved by my parents? Who do I need to be in order to be loved by the world? We start developing a Persona, a mask, a way of being a role. You know, I became, you could say, the perfect son, the nice guy, you know, so we start developing this. This role, this way of being the ma. A mask that we start to. That we learn as a way to get love, fit in, be approved, be validated. And then we hold tightly onto that. It becomes our identity. It kind of disconnects us from our real truth, our authentic expression, our authenticity. And it becomes who we identify ourselves with. And it becomes a sense of, this is who I am. It's just me. So I like to ask people the question, and when we're talking about authentic life, is who you really are who you really are, or is it simply who you've been conditioned to be? And so I think you can only really live an authentic life if you're really, really in Touch with. With who you really are. The challenge is because we've been conditioned and we develop walls and layer upon layer upon layer, and all of a sudden we're living under 50 layers. And we think that who we are is who we really are, but it's not who we really are. Then based on that, based on not being in touch with ourselves, based on being in touch with the inauthentic part of us thinking that's who we are, we often set goals and visions and goals, thinking that's what we really want, and then not realizing that's not really what we really want. It's only what we thought we wanted is what we. What we thought we wanted is only what we thought we wanted based on who we thought we were, not who we really are. And then our entire life, you could say, is based on a lie because we're not really in touch with our truth. And so for me, an authentic life, truly authentic life, is being in touch with who you are. And then from that, from being connected, from that connected, you know, rested place of clear seeing, and from that, place of being unconditioned and connected and open. The ability to choose clearly, the ability to see clearly, the ability to truly love and express your truth, not distorted versions of oneself that we've had to do to. To protect ourselves and survive.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you. And so one thing that I wanted to kind of explore based on all of that, I think it's rare that someone will hear that and get it and get what I think you mean. And I may be wrong, but I'm only speaking for myself because that is something I'm constantly pursuing. You know, the whole. An unexamined life is not worth living and. And an unlived life is not worth examining. And so it's one of these things to where people will hear that and say, okay, here's who I really am. And then they're going to read another book. They're going to continue to figure it out. So this seems to be a very difficult thing to really do. I mean, I can hear the words you're saying, but I can ask you all kinds of questions like how does someone find their purpose in life? Or, you know, how does someone evolve? How does someone transform? And maybe as I'm saying these, you address some of these. You know, I can ask you those things. I can hear those things. I've read over a thousand books. I've sat through more seminars than most people I know. And I'm a seeker. I mean, I'm definitely a Seeker. And I'm also a doer. I take an enormous amount of action. I work really hard to, you know, add value to the world, to better become aware of my behaviors, destructive and beneficial behaviors. And in the process, you know, there's this. There's a giant wall, and there's lots of bricks that get. You know, I always think of Pink Floyd's, you know, album, the Wall, you know, another brick in the wall. And in the world of personal development, you know, there's a lot of people that are out there teaching it, but their big wall is the fact that they can't even address it themselves. I mean, they are, you know, they are wounded healers in a lot of ways, and some really are healers, and others are just frauds.

Yeah, sure.

You know, there's. There's just a constant amount of pursuit. And so how, you know, so how does one know when they find it? And if people hear this sort of language, and you'd be like, how the hell do I know who I am? I'm a scared person. I'm broke. I mean, I don't know how to make this work. Or I have a lot of money, and no matter what, I'm never happy. I mean, there's all this shit that seems to be in the way, and I would love for whatever we can to be giant windshield wipers to clean off as much of that that we can for people and even for myself. I mean, truthfully, I don't do podcasts and interview people because I think I'm some guru or anything. I'm as much of a student and a listener. I just happen to be in a position to ask questions that I want to know the answers to. And hopefully, other people want to know some of the answers to these questions, too. So what are your thoughts on all that? I mean, why is it so difficult to figure this out? Wow.

I mean, look, Joe, the reality is, I think, you know, you speaking truth in that it is profoundly difficult to unravel, to heal, to transform, because we've learned, you know, rightly so. We've learned all of these ways of being to protect ourselves, to not feel, to function, to survive. That worked for us when we were 5 and worked for us when we were 10 and worked for us when we were not teens. And for many of us, those ways of being, those mechanisms that we've developed, work for us and also maybe even helped us become successful. And so then, because we hold on to that and it works, it gets reinforced to let. Then it becomes the sense of well, this is working. This is kind of who I am. And so I think part of why it's hard is to let that go, to really let that way of being go, to let the Personas go, to let the mask go, to let the identity go is scary because it's also a death. It's a death of who we were. It's a death of what worked. And I think it's terrifying because it's often all we. It's often the only way we know how to do life. It's the only way we know how to get certain needs met. It's the only way we know how to get love, how to fit in, how to avoid pain. And so, of course, it's scary, for sure. But I think there comes a point where, you know, our freedom is limited. There comes a point where maybe our relationships can't. Don't stop working or don't go to the next level. And I think just to. I think it takes a lot of courage to be willing to feel the pain that we've learned to suppress. And obviously, no one wants to feel pain, but I think, as you know, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to feel the pain. Takes a tremendous amount of courage to feel what we haven't felt. And so I would just first invite people to just become conscious that we've become conditioned. Because many times we're not conscious of the fact we've been conditioned. We think who we are is who we really are. And so just to become conscious of the fact that, yeah, I have, because I have just to be. Also make it maybe more practical. I have an example. I had a client who worked with me many years ago. He went on one of my crazy journeys to India. And he was about 55 years old, and he was in this exact position. He came to me and he says, koot, I feel that there's more. I'm not really fulfilled. I'm not really happy, and I want to be successful, but I feel stuck. And this was a guy who I felt like had so much potential, had so much greatness, but he was like this lion that was living like a mouse and kept his whole thing was. You talk about, who am I? Who am I? I'm just a quiet, shy guy. I'm nothing great. I mean, you asked me the question, who am I really? I'm just shy. It's just who I am. And so as we work together, as we explore, as we, you know, I think truly unraveling one's conditioning is not a quick fix. It's not a quick technique. It's as you said, it's a, it's a, literally it's a lifelong process and I think it's ultimately the purpose why we're here. It's the process of life. And so as I started working with him, I started massaging and asking him some questions. He started feeling, he started for the first time getting in touch with some of his feelings. And literally this 55 year old guy said to me, says Ku from when I was probably five years old, I have literally haven't cried. I have become very shut down and shy. I married a woman who, she was the one that was very out in front. She was the outgoing one. I was, I'm just a behind the scenes person that's just who I am. And so I asked him some questions and he came back to me and he said, I've. The last 24 hours I've been crying and I've been, I've been feeling in grief that I haven't, I didn't even know was inside of me. I didn't, I wasn't even conscious that this grief was inside of me. And I said, tell me more. He said, I had this vision, you know, and I know maybe, maybe folks listening in have been through this or some version of this experience. He said I had this vision but I didn't, I didn't even remember this image. He said I had been molested by my uncle when I was five. I did not even remember this until just this exploration the last 24 hours. Basically as a result I started to understand why I am the way I am for the first time through that exploration. And I'm shedding tears of sadness for that little child that went through pain that I wasn't conscious of. And so what had happened for this guy was when he was five, at least one aspect is when he was five, he was, you know, this bright, alive, fully expressed being and his innocence was obviously taken advantage of and this thing that happened absolutely shouldn't have happened. And, and so what he shared and what he learned was he learned as a protection mechanism to shut down. He learned that, well, when I'm seen, you know, bad things happen. It's not safe when I'm seen. So as a way to survive and keep myself safe, I need to go into hiding. And as a result, his entire strategy, his entire way of survival and keeping himself safe was if you can't see me, then you can't really hurt me. So I'm going to just blend in the background. You Know, really not really open myself and just kind of hide, because by doing that, hopefully I won't be hurt too much. And that had become his entire way of being, his entire survival, his entire identity. And that's why, for him, it was so hard to, you could say, become conscious of it and let go of it. So I think it's important to acknowledge how hard it is and in the process, be gentle with ourselves in the process of becoming conscious and in the processes, feeling many of the things that we've learned to suppress. But it's definitely. It's not a quick fix. I don't think it's a technique, Jill. I think it's a real lifelong process of unraveling layer by layer and coming to deeper levels of conscious awareness and feeling what's underneath those layers as we go through life.

Yes. No, that's great. So I would love, you know, since people suffer so much, and there's a famous philosopher from the early 1900s, I can't remember his name, that said, you know, the last thing that a human being ever gives up is their suffering. And, you know, it's an interesting thing to think about how attached we are to things, to people, to belief systems, to rituals that, you know, don't work and how hard it is to replace them with ones that do work. And when I say hard, I mean, some people can be like, hey, it's, you know, if my life's working, and for the most part, it's not all that hard. I want to emphasize that because it's, you know, in order to have a breakthrough, you typically have to break something. And there's habits and there's belief structures that could use an overhaul in order for people to go to where they want to go. And doing anything that is a higher level, higher purpose activity, is so much more difficult than a lower level. Meaning it's much more difficult to jump up and do 30 burpees than it is to sit on a couch and just kind of mindlessly scroll through Facebook or watch TV or whatever. So why do people suffer? And what's something that someone can do to end suffering and be free of the pain? I mean, there's a lot of stuff that you teach, and there's a lot of ways that you work people through it. But, like, for the people listening, I mean, why do they suffer and what can we do about it?

You know, obviously there's more than one reason, and I think we could be here for a week unraveling that question. But just for the sake of this conversation, If I were to be really laser focused, I think in any moment that someone is suffering. For the most part. Okay, for the most part, in any moment that you're suffering, maybe you're in a relationship, maybe you're going through an experience. Something is occurring, a situation, something is changing, something is falling apart, something isn't quite going the way you want it to go. If what I found, if you really check yourself, if you really go inside in that moment of. In quotation marks, what we call, oh, I'm suffering right now, I'm in some kind of suffering. What I've observed is almost always there for most situations. Then obviously, maybe some exceptions, almost always is this. There's a sentence, there's kind of a belief that is playing many times unconsciously in your consciousness. And that belief is often the experience that I'm having is not the experience I should be having. I should be having some other experience than the experience that I'm having. So whenever I'm in a moment of suffering and I really check myself, I go inside, whether I'm in a relationship moment or business situation or something, where I feel suffering almost always is that belief. The experience I'm having is not the experience I should be having. I should be having some other experience than this experience right now. And what I always see is there's a level of resistance to the experience that I'm having. And that is usually, for me, partly what is creating my suffering is my own resistance to the experience I'm having. And what I find for myself is when I can. When I can move out of resistance and move into a level of acceptance, non resistance to the situation. I would almost say a level of surrender to the situation, a level of surrender to what's happening. What I learned to do for myself is frame it, is actually flip it and go, okay, the experience I'm having. Not that it's always easy, Joe, but the experience I'm having. And for me, it's become a play. You know, the experience I'm having is exactly the experience I need to be having in this moment for my own soul's growth, for my own evolution. So clearly, if I'm having this experience, there has to be certain lessons I need to learn in this moment. So what I've tried to do is really look at why is this experience happening? Not from a place of being a victim, but what are the lessons I need to be learning from this experience so that I can graduate from this experience, so I can move beyond this experience, so I can move out of this experience. And I think in order to change any experience, as you know, in order to change any experience, you have to first move into relationship with the experience. In order to shift any experience, you have to accept the experience. Accepting experience isn't just staying stuck there, isn't simply allowing abuse, but it's to accept that this is what's happening. And I think when we can move out of resistance, something shifts. Something shifts. You know, my mother, if I'm going to be personal, my mother is in a process of possibly dying. And it's been happening for months, Jill. And it's been very challenging and very difficult and very like, talk about personal, very, very painful. Especially in the beginning and in the beginning stages, I was completely in resistance because obviously I don't want her to die and the illness she's dealing with. And so I was in a place of deep, profound suffering resistance. This is someone I love profoundly and I want her to live a long life. And I realized my resistance to in quotation marks reality. Reality was she has this illness. Reality was she might die. After my suffering, after my grief, I realized what is is, what is, what is isn't going to change because I'm resisting it, because I cry, because I'm mad at the world. When I was able to move myself into acceptance of this is reality, that freed me up. That freed me up in a whole different way. Moving to a place of acceptance. Acceptance freed up so much more energy for me to then go into, okay, what can I do about it? What is in my control? What is in my power to change? And for me, like in that particular situation, I realized, look, I can't really determine what occurs in my life, but what I can determine in this situation is the degree to which I love her. And she is still going through this challenging illness. But nothing has changed in terms of the circumstances that used to cause me tremendous amount of suffering. There is, there is, there are moments of pain. There have been moments over the months of tears. But the non resistance has also for me, opened my heart in the midst of something that could produce tremendous suffering. The non resistance has opened my heart to how much I love my mother, has opened my heart to realizing all I have and all I really am in control of is the degree to which I love her. And that's really what matters. That's really what's important. And so as I've shifted my focus to that, the experience and relationship with suffering for me has shifted profoundly. Profoundly. And so it's been an incredible process. So I think moving out of resistance to acceptance is a great shift.

Yes, absolutely. So I'd love to hear some of the rituals that people. And certainly you can say them here. And this requires taking what people will hear from you and then making the decision to accept it or reject it, apply it or not, or to think about it and ponder it, and hopefully have this lead to shifts. Because, you know, one thing that I would love is that every time I do a podcast, every time I interview someone, every time, you know, and of course, this can't happen with everything. And it also has to do with someone's focus and how, where they're at in their place in life. You know, the whole. When the student's ready, the teacher appears. I mean, I think there's tremendous truth to that. That timing has a lot to do with it. But I would love for people to hear a conversation like this and be able to leave with it a action, a shift, a change, an altering of their worldview that leads to. If I'm talking to someone about making money, they make more money. If I'm talking to someone about having more joy in their life, they have more joy in their life. Dropping suffering, reducing suffering, that happens. Deepening relationship, that happens. I would love for you to be able to share rituals that work most of the time and how to set up the conditions. Then I'd like you to talk about your book and I'd like you to give some resources so that people can just decide to go as deep with this as they'd like to. But, you know, if you only had, you know, five minutes to share, these are things that are game changers. These are things that really help. This is a direction that if you go down, you're probably going to greatly benefit from it. What would you say?

Well, one of the things that immediately. So I'm just going to go with it, immediately popped into my awareness in terms of like, if there's like one thing I could do to shift my life that impacted me, that I know is impacting my clients. You know, people have lost. What's the thing? What's the first thing that people can do? What's what keeps people stuck? What I've one thing I found that keeps us stuck are all the ways that we lie to ourselves, all the ways that we bullshit ourselves, we rationalize, we self deceive, we don't tell the truth. And so as a practice, what I really invite people to do is become a lover of truth. The best you can become a lover of truth. And I feel that deep down the deepest level. We often do know the truth about a situation. Deep down, we often do sense the truth about a situation. You know, deep down, we often do feel it. And so here's a couple of questions it's really just asking yourself with compassion and with ruthlessness and with clarity and authenticity, is asking yourself on a daily basis, what am I lying to myself about? Because deep down, we often, we do know. What am I not telling the truth to myself about? We often do know. Maybe it's your relationship, maybe it's something in your business or your job. What truths am I not telling? What am I lying to myself about? What am I pretending to not know? We often play this game of confusion or this game of look, I don't really know. I don't really know if this relationship is right for me. I don't really know if this partnership is right. If you put a gun to someone. Said, we often do know. Deep down, I can't tell you how many times maybe I've gotten out of a relationship or maybe those listening in where you've gotten out of a relationship that you weren't quite sure of, but the moment you got out, you said to yourself, I knew it. I knew that wasn't right even before I got into it. And so become a lover of truth. What am I lying to myself about? What am I pretending to not know? What lies am I telling myself? And be ruthlessly, compassionately, authentically honest and then be willing to feel, what are these lies costing me? What is it costing me to lie? What is it costing me to not tell the truth? And to be willing to feel, to actually feel the pain? What also sometimes keeps us stuck is we kind of like, we lie to ourselves. We have a glimpse of the truth, but then we're afraid of the consequences. So we distract ourselves. We numb it. We social media away, we work away. We sex away. We just do whatever it takes so we don't have to feel the pain of our own misalignment. So be willing to sit with and feel the pain of what your lie is costing you. And I say the truth will set you free. It might first upset you, piss you off, it might first scare you, but be willing to burn in the truth. And even if you're not willing to take action on the truth, like, I know my relationship isn't working, but I'm not willing to do anything about it right now, at least tell yourself the truth. And in quotation marks, burn. Let the truth burn you up like a fire, because then it's Only a matter of time until something starts percolating inside and moving within you. Burn in the truth. It starts a process inside of you. And be willing to, you know, ask yourself what. What is the worst. What is the worst case thing I'm afraid will happen and face that. What I found is when you can face, simply when you can face your greatest fear and just make peace with. Can free you up. What you can't make peace with often has a hold on you and hijacks our freedom. So make peace with the worst case. And many times what I found is the thing, you know, the mind often creates a negative future fantasy about the worst case things that will happen. But when you really face it, many of the things that paralyze us in the present moment, when we make peace with it, many of those things will never happen. Many of those things we can deal with. So make peace with that and then ask yourself what incredible thing might happen as a result of speaking the truth, telling the truth, living the truth in one's life. I kind of say, look, happiness is simple. It's not always easy. As you've been sharing, it's not easy. It's a lifelong process and it just requires that we tell the truth, feel the truth, express the truth, live the truth. Simple, not always easy. The other thing I'll say, just for time's sake, Joe, the other thing I'll say is one thing that's really impacted me as a practice. And to me, these aren't like positive thinking, light practices. I mean, some of them can be quite intense. One of the things that's really helped me create a shift, move through a lot of things is the daily contemplation of death. The daily contemplation of my death, not in a morbid way, but to actually daily feel my death, daily face my death, daily meditate on the fact I'm going to die. You are going to die. Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Gandhi, Jesus. I know there's technology now that says people will live. I mean, maybe it will happen, that will be great. But at least in this moment, Bruce Lee, Muhammad Ali, Jesus, Buddha, everyone has died. You and I are going to die. And I think when we can face that and not run from that, not avoid it. The ego is often afraid of its own extinction. The ego is often afraid of its own death. So many times we do all these things to try and, like you could say, keep our ego alive. I think that's why sometimes we often quit drama and even suffering to kind of have this sense of, I'm here, I'm existing. I as a separate sense of egoic self, I'm here. So I think if we are willing, feel our death, to face our death daily as a daily contemplation, the daily meditation. I'm going to die. I don't know when that moment's going to happen. The people in 911 had no idea when they were going to die. Their people in the Southeast Asian tsunami had no idea they weren't going to come home that night and maybe be able to say to their loved ones like, I really love you or I'm sorry or I apologize or I forgive you. We don't know. There is no guarantee. The only guarantee is this moment. So I think the degree to which you can face death, make peace with death, actually frees you up to live. And yeah, we've kind of heard it. But I think if we really do that as human beings, if we really do that, it can get us pretty clear on shit really quickly. It can get us pretty clear a lot of the things that we might, you know, spin in our minds about, a lot of the shit we might waste time about and meaningless activities if we are really face to face. Like, we make death our friend, we invite death to tea, so to speak, and we feel our own death. For me, whenever I found myself spinning and meaningless stuff in my own mind and meaningless activities in life, when I feel my death, it. It kind of sobers me up pretty quickly. And so that has become a great death, has become a great meditation and a great friend and a great motivation and inspiration to live as authentically, truly and fully as possible. And so, you know, I would just say, hey, meditate on. Even if it's 15 minutes a day, you know, feel it, meditate on it, every breath. It's a very powerful practice for me.

That's a very interesting one. I actually had a meeting today with a friend and a Sikh who is a Kundalini instructor, one of the best in the world. And we had a whole conversation that one of the biggest barriers to human happiness is the absolute fear and unacceptance of the fact that we die. And I had one of my dearest friends recently pass away two weeks ago. And I was one of her primary caretakers. Me and two other people were the ones that really took care of her. And I had many conversations with her over the last few months about death and what she was experiencing and how she felt about it and the stages of fear and the stages of acceptance. And yeah, that's a very interesting exercise. So Two more things and then we will wrap up. Really interesting story. Crazy story about how your parents met. So can you, can you share that?

Sure, sure. People often ask, you know, how the hell what happened, you know, Ghanaian, Japanese. I think this story for me has been an inspiration for my life, actually an inspiration to live. Like, for me, one of the secrets to my life has been a continual process of surrendering, surrendering to life, surrendering to the flow. And so basically the story how my parents met my father, one of those crazy stories, Joe, where you might say, really, did that happen? I swear it happened. So what happened was my father was eight years old. He would have these visions of a Japanese guru, Japanese spiritual teacher. And this guy was like, imagine the Japanese version of Yogananda, you know, who's very known in the West. And this guy would come to him. By the way, my dad's in Ghana, West Africa, in the middle of nowhere. This was probably in what, the 30s, 40s, 1940s. And I would teach him about life and the mysteries of life. And so when my father was 15, he became a born again Christian. Started his miracles, started his ministry, got married, had three kids. His first wife died. When he was about 36, 37, he walks into a store, a bookstore in Ghana. A book falls off the shelf. He picks up the book and he sees this Japanese guru on the back of this book. And he didn't even know this guy was real. So he buys the book. He's shocked because this guy's been coming to him in his dreams. He writes to the Japanese guru. The Japanese guru sends his son in law, one of his right hand men, to Ghana to meet my father to check him out. They have this great rapport, this great connection. The son in law says, I want to invite you to Japan to go on a lecture tour with the guru. The guy's name was Masaharu Taniguchi, very well known in 50s, 60s and what have you, 70s. And so my dad accepts. Meanwhile, my father was not married. He says to the son in law, I'm looking for a wife. Just please pray for me. I believe in the power of prayer. The guy says, sure. The son in law goes to Japan. He gives a lecture. In his lecture at the end, he says, there's a miracle man of Africa man called the Reverend Prince John Blackson is coming to Japan on these dates to go on a lecture with the guru. Now, my mother grew up in this spiritual organization and so she grew up meditating and what have you and reading the spiritual teachings of this spiritual Master, she was about 28 at the time. You know, in Japan in the 70s, if you're not married by like 22, 23, you're old, your life is over. That's it, you know. And so she is basically, her prayer is her prayer was this. God, I surrender. Like, you tell me who my soulmate is. I'm done trying to figure it out. And put a timeline up, timeline on it. I surrender completely. I will marry anyone you tell me to marry. Just make it clear, undeniable to my soul that this is my soulmate in this lifetime. Make it clear. So my mother's in the audience. She hears the announcement from the son in law. She says she feels chills in her body. This is my husband. She writes a letter to my father. The letter, she gets the address. My father is in London. The letter is routed to him in London. He goes to the mailbox, he picks up the letter. He says he feels like definitely this chill in his body. He opens a letter. It's from my mother. Nothing romantic, just looking forward to hearing you speak in Japan on these dates. Can't wait to meet you and hear your speech. He says, this is my wife. He feels. He feels something. He writes back to my mother. This is, you know, pre Facebook, pre. Any. Pre. Any of that. Will you. Are you open to moving?

Ghana.

Pretty direct, right? And so she writes, by the way, my father spoke no Japanese. My mother spoke no English, so they couldn't. They didn't speak the same language. So my mother gets the letter translated by her sister. She writes back and says, if it's God's will, I will move to Ghana. Obviously, my father, being the kind of guy he is, writes back and says, yes, it is God's will. Will you marry me? She writes back and says, yes, I will marry you. They haven't seen each other. They haven't met Joe. I mean, they haven't even spoken on the phone. They've agreed to get married already, without even meeting. You could say it's a destined marriage or something. And my father asked for a vision of my mother, gets an African dress made. And he says, if this dress fits this woman, this is guaranteed. Like, it's a guarantee. My father goes to Japan, meets my mother for the first time. Bear in mind, they can't speak. So they, you know, this is old school. They're given about 45 minutes by themselves to have a conversation. He points to himself, she nods, she points to herself, they nod. That's the agreement. They get him married. He gives her the dress. You know, long story short, the dress fits. It's on. Last thing I'll say is my father didn't have very much money, even though he, you know, he had these churches in Ghana. Everything went back to the church. Ghanaian money, Japanese money, the conversion rate, it's nothing. So by Japanese standards, he's not very, very wealthy. He said, how am I going to throw a wedding? I can't marry this Japanese woman and be a foreigner. You know, an African guy. Not like through a wedding. And so six weeks pass, he just says, okay, I'm going to trust. Six weeks pass, he goes to his mailbox, True story. Goes to his mailbox. There was an envelope with $7,000 in cash, US cash in the mid-70s. $7,000 with a note that says, this is for your wedding. Anonymous, no name, nothing. And that's the money my father used to throw the wedding kimono, you know, sushi, sake, get married. The whole thing was in the newspapers. It's called the miracle marriage of Japan. And that's how they got married and literally couldn't speak on their honeymoon. My mother couldn't speak English for years. And they got married. And I guess here I am, you know, I'm part of the fruit, the fruit of their marriage. And at 15, by the way, I had the privilege of meeting the wife. There was a Japanese, like, supermarket. Like, imagine the Japanese version of Ralph's. The founder of that was like a mogul. And he was reading newspaper one day about this crazy marriage that was happening, and he says something touched his heart, and he just made a donation. He had no idea that they needed any money, and he made the donation. At 14, I had the privilege of meeting the wife, the wife of this man. And she told me some of the story from her side, you know, of how her husband felt touched and moved. And they made a donation. And it was quite a big story in Japan in the 70s, and that's how they came together. So for me, that story really inspires me to trust bigger than myself. And that story inspires me. And I hope people who are listening are inspired. Like, I believe that our dreams, I kind of feel like our dreams, I'll say it this way, our dreams choose us. Our dreams choose us because we are the perfect. Like, I look, Joe, at your artist for addicts, and I look at some of the things you're doing, and I look at, you know, some of the things I know of your life and what you've shared. And I thought that dream chose you because, you know, everything you've Been through everything you've lived or everything you've gone through, from your addictions to your recovery, everything, everything has perfectly, you could say marinated you and formed you to be in quotation most, the perfect person you know, to be able to fulfill and help bring about the fulfillment of this vision. And so I just hope that story inspires everyone who has a dream or vision or is guided to move forward in some way, to get themselves out of the way and trust that there is a force of life, call it whatever you want, an intelligence, the same force that's breathing you, breathing me, functioning the universe that it knows how to, how to fulfill itself through us if we're willing to trust and surrender and also do our part with action at the same time. And so I'm always inspired by my parents story.

Yeah, that is great. Thank you so much for sharing that. It's pretty wild. Definitely a unique one. So let's. Your book, your book is titled you period R Period the period one Period. You are the one. Can you share with the audience what that means? I mean, how did you title it that way? And what's someone going to get if they read the book?

In a nutshell, I think the book, I wrote the book because I wanted to share with people some inspiration to help people reclaim their power, to find their purpose, to create the life that they really want. But ultimately what people will get, I believe, simply put, is you will get more of you. You will get you back, you will get to reconnect with who you really are. And I believe when you connect with who you really are, you connect with a source of power, a source of inner freedom. The more I found, the more dependent you are on things outside of yourself for a sense of happiness. The less powerful you are, the less free you are, the more you suffer. So once you really connect with who you are, you become truly powerful. And then you can, you could say, create a life based on this, this, this centeredness, this freedom. And I think there's so many people that I saw, and me as well, you know, so many people that I saw looking outside of ourselves for guru or the answer or, you know, the government's gonna save us. You know, the white knight's gonna come. My parents, my friend. And, and so for me, this book was just a kind of, just a bold shout and inspiration to, for people to realize, look, no, no one's coming. The government's not coming. They're not gonna do it for you. Joe's not gonna do it for you. I'm not Gonna do it for you. Yes. We can provide the inspiration and tools, but you have to do it. And ultimately, each person, you've been given everything you need to be able to fulfill your vision. You just need to put it into action. And so this book is really. I used to do these journeys, Joe. I don't really do them anymore, but for seven years I used to do these journeys called the Liberation Experience, where I would take visionaries and leaders to India. Basically what I would do is it's a 14 day, it's called the liberation experience. It's a 14 day, non transformational immersion, experiential journey. I take away your money, I take away your passport, you're stuck with me for 14 days. I make you sign your will in case you don't come back. I make you write letters, everyone in your life in case you don't come back. And I customize a very unique, deep immersive process over the course of 14 days in India. I mean, no holds barred, where I kind of feel into where your deepest pain hurts, incompletions, wounds, wounds are. And I really create a process that is designed to help free you, heal you, transform you, help you release the past and reconnect you with your true self. And then, and then really help you reconnect with your purpose and your vision so that you can give your gifts to the world. And over the course of seven years, I took about 19 people on this crazy journey. One on one, I think about almost three people a year. And the words of that journey spread. And so this book is part my teachings, but is designed to take the reader through the lens of my clients on that journey to India, where I help you peel away the layers of your conditioning. And through that journey, through this book, you'll reconnect with your true self and hopefully from that, be inspired to. To live your purpose and share your gifts with the world. So it's written in a little bit of a different way, Joe. It's not the typical like five steps, four steps to this self help book. It's really written and I think a really unique and different style, which I'm really proud of.

Yeah, totally. And people love your book that have read it and so anything. I should have asked you that. I did not. Wow.

I mean, we could go forever, Joe.

But of course, yeah, we definitely could.

Nothing pops up, man. Nothing really pops up. I think we've covered a lot of territory in a short period of time. Been fun. It's been lots of fun with you.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Koot. And where do people follow you? Where do people find you?

Yeah, a couple of ways. You know my main website is www.coot.

Blackson.

Where you can find out about my work. If you want to find out about some of my deep dive journeys and maybe take a deeper dive in some way. Twice a year do an event in Bali where we have lots of visionaries and world leaders come to it's www.boundlessblissbali.com. it's a deep transformational journey for those that might want to also receive a free training series. You can go to how to www how to mt suffering and be happy.com and receive some free videos just by entering your email and staying connected there. And social media I'm on social I'm very active on social media. Facebook. Just type in my name. Follow me. Would love to connect with anyone and just say you heard me on Joe's podcast. Be great to connect with you all.

Awesome. Awesome. Well thank you Koot. I really appreciate it and for all of our listeners, if you know anyone that probably could utilize hearing this message that is in pain or someone who's doing awesome and you think this would help them do even more awesome, then please share it. Wherever you heard this, please leave comments and thank you. And thank you Koot again. I appreciate it and we'll talk to everyone next time. So make it a great day.

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