Selling Through The Screen: How To Connect and Close Virtually Featuring Dino Watt – I Love Marketing Episode #404

I've created a shell system that I like to use with my teams when I'm teaching them about what to look for when they're through the screen. When they're talking to somebody through the screen, it goes shoulders, hands, eyes, lips and language.

If you'd like to join world renowned entrepreneurs at the next Genius Network event, or want to learn more about Genius network, go to geniusnetwork.com for over two decades, Dean Owat has been helping business owners and teams learn how to improve their communication skill using both verbal and nonverbal techniques. Today, using his shell system, he's going to show you the top four areas you need to be aware of in order to more effectively sell yourself through the screen.

Back in 1960, there was the very first ever televised presidential debate between Vice President Nixon and candidate John F. Kennedy. And something very interesting happened out of this debate. First of all, when they did the polling after the debate, it wasn't divided on political lines like it is today. It was divided between people who watched the debate on television and those who actually heard it on the radio. And overwhelmingly, the people who actually heard it on the radio totally believed that Nixon won the debate, but the people who watched it on television absolutely believed that Kennedy won the debate. In my opinion, this was the very first ever selling through the screen incident. Before they sold products, this was the first time people had to sell themselves and their ideas. Now, why should you care about the way that you see yourself or you are seen on the screen? Well, if we think about all the research that's been done all the way back to 1967, we understand that our words make up about 10% of our communication. Our tone is about 35%. And then 55% are the gestures that we use when we look at the problem that's happening in our world today. After Covid started, something really unique happened. Now, there are people who, like Michael Bernoff, who do amazing things with words, but when it comes down to it, that human interaction, being together with somebody, really feeling the energy of the room and feeling who they are, is very vital to your sales process. However, now this is what we are dealing with. We're missing out on the entire picture and only seeing about 15 to 20% of people's bodies on the screen. And if you haven't watched Mike Koenig's 25 Ways to Do Better Zoom Calls, you probably have been on a call where you've seen something like this. Even celebrities like Hugh Jackman surprisingly don't know how to use a computer. This is an actual screenshot from a interview he was doing with Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show. People have a very big challenge when it comes to actually communicating their message through the screen. So how does body language actually happen? It's important for us to understand that body language happens because of an emotion that happens in our subconscious and then comes through our brain. As a matter of fact, what happens about every one minute? We have about 450 words that are developed inside of our subconscious to answer a question or to reply to something. Now, to be clear, for women, it's typically a little bit higher. For men, it's typically a little bit lower, but average is about 450 words per minute. But your consciousness knows you can't say all of those words. So it narrows it down to about 150 words per minute for you to actually use that. You can choose. Yes, I want to use that. This is a safe place to say that. Oh, remember when I said that last time this happened? I don't want to say that. So what happened to those other 300 words inside of our subconscious? Those energies actually exist inside of our subconscious. They have to go somewhere, and that is what is created body language. That's what goes into all the other parts of our body and comes out. I want to know that story, because what they've brought up in their head is very important for us to understand, and the body will tell us what those things are. So today I want to walk you through the first thing people notice or the first thing the brain notices is the hands first, then the lips, then the tongue, then the ears. So it's important to know this. So I've created a shell system that I like to use with my teams when I'm teaching them about what to look for when they're through the screen. When they're talking to somebody through the screen, it goes, shoulders, hands, eyes, lips and language. Shoulders for shoulders are the first thing you want to look at and recognize. According to a study by Harvard, it's the number one missed movement when it comes to body language. Because shoulders show uncertainty if somebody doesn't know the answer to something by saying, yeah, what is the square root of 386? And they go, I don't know. That makes sense. But if they say, if you ask somebody, hey, would you like to move forward with this contract? And they say, yeah, sure. Well, there's uncertainty there. And you better be careful to stop and actually ask a question around that. How was your day today? Oh, it was wonderful. But they shrugged their shoulders. Well, there probably wasn't something wonderful about that day. Ask a better question. One of the things I love most about body language, it gives us an ability to ask a better question. Next would be your hands. Our hands are actually our secondary communication device. When you are seeing a speaker, when you're talking to somebody or seeing somebody on stage, if they walk around with their hands in their pockets the entire time, your brain starts to mistrust them, thinking they're hiding something. Ever since we were cavemen back in our DNA, we looked at hands first, as you saw on that image there, because the hand would show me, are you going to feed me or are you going to kill me? The hands will also tell us when people are nervous or concerned. They will soothe themselves with soothing gestures, whether it be from their clothing or wringing their hands together. Or women often will go and cover up the little. It's called the super stenal notch right here in their. In their body or the decollete. If I were to get. Get fancy with women's clothing, right? So they cover this up. Any type of hair movement or twirling of the hair, those are all hand movements used to show them. Show you that they are uncertain. Uncertain. Or that they are trying to soothe themselves. So watch for hand movements. Now, this is important for you as somebody who's on the screen. Oftentimes, because of the way that we position ourselves on the screen, we're not showing people our hands and using our hand gestures. But people will trust you more if they can see your hands. Matter of fact, if you look at TED talks, there's a great statistic here at TED Talks that the least popular TED talkers use an average of 272 hand gestures during the 18 minutes. But the most popular TED talkers had 464,5 hand gestures. That's almost double. Use your hands more often when you are talking. Sorry, this should have said eyes. It says hands there. It says eyes. It's supposed to say eyes. Eye blocking is the next thing I want you to look at. When people close their eyes, there's usually either one or two reasons. They're either trying to see it and focus in on the thing that you're asking them, or they're trying to avoid it and disassociate their emotion with what you're asking them, what you're asking them about. These are two really great examples of people who are either on a witness fan or this is probably Obama hearing another Biden gaffe. Who knows? But on the last slide here, this is called eye Blocking with their hand. If somebody raises their hand and shuts their eyes at the same time, it'll most likely be around something financial, money driven. So you want to make sure that they're showing because. Sorry, you want to make sure you ask a question around that because they're actually looking at some sort of shame around the thing that you're talking about. That usually shows us that they have some sort of shame with it. All right. Now, lastly is lips. And I love lips, because lips will tell you everything. If somebody has a question to ask in the middle of your presentation, they will often first just close their lips slightly and then they'll start to eat their lips. If you see the lips disappear, you know, there's a challenge there. If you're going through contracts, this is really important for you to be able to watch what's going on with their lips. And because the moments their lips go from natural to closed or at least have a concern, you want to stop and say, what questions do you have around this area here? Or let's talk more about that part of the contract. Because now you know they had something to say. The best people to look at for this is children. If you have children in your home, go home tonight and ask them to listen to your story. You're going to tell them a story. It doesn't matter what the story is. But they cannot ask a question or speak during that story. And you will notice as you are talking, they will shut their lips, they will start to bite their lips. They will chew on their lips, and suddenly they will raise their hand to cover up their mouth because they want to say something that you told them to shut up. You do that, too. When you're sitting in a room like this or you're sitting here watching on TV on Zoom, if somebody is saying something and you have something to say, you will notice. You will close your lips, too. You might even raise your hand to your lips when your lips are disjointed. Pursed lips pulled to the side. He disagrees very strongly. Here's a clue. I want you to remember this saying. When you don't like what you see or hear, your lips disappear. So if you're watching somebody on the camera and you see all of a sudden their lips disappear, they're not liking what you're saying. Make sure you stop and ask a better question. Shoulders, hands, eyes, lips. Those are the areas of the shell that you want to look at. Even though we only get to see 15 to 20% of somebody's body now, you can learn so much with just these areas. And more importantly, they can learn so much about you. Now let's go all the way back to Nixon and Kennedy. Why did Nixon lose this debate? There are three very specific things he did at the very beginning of this debate. And you can actually go on YouTube and watch the introduction of President Nixon. Nixon and Vice President Nixon and Kennedy. Here are the three things that happened. Number one, we always look to the most authority in the room or the authority figure in the room, especially when we're nervous. We're finding out if we're doing what is right. So America saw this and saw him continually. And if you watch the videos, see him keep looking at Kennedy, then his hands. His hand looks like he's holding on for the ride. But also from tv, it looks like he a fist and it looks like it's dominant. And people don't want to feel like they're being pressured to do anything. And lastly, were his feet. His feet are in what we call the runner's position. He's ready to get out of there. He doesn't want to be here. Look at his posture compared to Kennedy's and how much more relaxed Kennedy is being there looking straight at the audience as opposed to Nixon, like he doesn't want to be here. And oddly enough, who won that? Who won that President? Presidential not debate the debate, yes, but also the presidency was President Kennedy and went on to be the President of the United States. So what does it really matter to you? It really matters because if you truly are somebody who wants to connect, communicate and close more often in your virtual sales with your teams, you must understand the shell and understand how to properly sell through the screen.

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