The One About The Magic Rapport Formula - I Love Marketing With Joe Polish And Dean Jackson - Episode #29

I'm dean jackson, he's joe polish, and this is the I love marketing podcast.

Hey, everybody, it's Dean Jackson and Joe Polish.

And the Joe Polish.

You know what, Joe? I'm very.

I'm happy that on this I Love Marketing episode, we're gonna talk about something that I've observed about you, my friend, over the years and years and years that I've known you, and that is that you. I have to lower my voice to even say this, but you are the very best networker, connector, rapport builder, friendly guy that I know. And, you know, what's amazing to me is I've observed it. I mean, we've both introduced each other to neat people. You have certainly introduced me to some pretty cool people. But what's amazing to me is that not only do you know almost everybody that there is to know that you can make friends with anybody, reach out and endear people to you, and then not only that, get them to pay you $25,000 a year to just come and be in your presence two or three times a year.

Pretty spectacular, if I do say so myself. It has been pretty spectacular. Thank you. That's nice of you to say that. It's kind of funny, considering I'm by nature kind of an introverted guy.

Yeah, we both are. But you could you get over it and. Yeah, I mean, I'm excited to kind of turn the tables here and talk about you and talk about the, you know, because I know that, you know, it comes naturally to you. It appears to come naturally to you. But I imagine that there are some conscious things that you do, things that kind of drive your interactions with other people and, you know, I don't know, maybe you could share some of. Have you thought about the, you know, making, you know, sort of some of the things that. That you do, whether, you know, consciously.

Yeah, you know, I mean, I do now because it's one of the. I never really thought about it all that much. I mean, I guess one thing that I've learned about people is one of their biggest. And this applies to me, too. One of the things that you're most skilled at doing that comes naturally. A lot of times you could be blind to seeing it. I don't think a fish is aware of water. They're just kind of in water. They don't really think about water any more than most people really don't always think about, oh, I'm breathing right now. There's air everywhere. So what is most a skill set, I think, to a lot of people is also one of the things that they maybe don't acknowledge as a skill. One of the things Dan Sullivan talks about is people give away their very best talents for free in the hopes that they can sell a commodity. To answer the question, I've thought about what I do and focus on it more now as a result of. That's something that people, especially over the last several years, have always asked me, you know, how do you do this? I always see you with pictures of all these people and you've got a lot of high profile clients and you're meeting all these individuals and people run, you know, I don't run around calling myself the connector. People tend to call me that. And there's a lot of people that run around calling themselves connectors because they want to be known for that, whereas I just kind of do what I do. And. But what's funny is that because we were going to talk about networking on this particular call and meeting people and stuff, I actually pulled out some notes that I got from a lady named Fabienne Fredrickson, who's actually in my Genius network mastermind group. The group you talk about, that's 25,000, we refer to it as the 25k group, where my actual clients came up with that name, not me, because that's what we charge for. And she interviewed me for a teleseminar and she wanted to actually talk to me about. Kind of what we're going to talk about here is, you know, how do you meet people, how do you go out and network, how do you connect with people? And I just was telling her some of the things that I do that I'm consciously aware of and some other things that I think I do that maybe I'm not really aware of. And she actually summarized what she, you know, sent me as the magic rapport formula. And so, yeah, I kind of do have a process. And you know, I know you just were emailed that list from our secret friend who listens in on all of our I Love Marketing calls live. We won't mention that person, but I know that person sent it over to you. It's kind of like the I Love Marketing sort of tooth fairy or something. I guess in the back, the money fairy. We'll refer to that person as I.

Love Marketing is a secret tooth fairy. Yeah, actually two or three secret tooth fairies. We make it seem like it's just us, but there's a whole, whole team that makes this whole thing come together, you know.

And speaking of meeting people, here's what's kind of funny. As I'm sitting here talking to you, Stephen Covey's partner is calling me on my cell phone, which I will not answer because it's on mute, but I saw it light up on my iPhone, which is funny. So there you go. But anyway, you know, so she did, she did an interview with me and she asked me a bunch of questions. She came up with something called the Magic Report formula. And she's like, this is what I heard you say. Let me repeat that back to you. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? That's kind of what I do. Let me define something though, before we get going. A lot of people say they go to networking meetings and certainly that's really valuable. And we did that great interview on I Love Marketing on a previous episode with Ivan Meisner, who is the founder of bni, which is the largest networking organization in the world. And we talked about connecting and that sort of stuff on that particular episode, what I really do, I have a thing called Genius Network where I interview people. And one of the reasons I interview people and I think one of the reasons that I connect with people is one of the reasons I read self help books and go to seminars and constantly am trying to educate myself is I'm a seeker. I'm always seeking an advantage. I'm always seeking to figure something out. I'm always trying to learn something. You know, there's three ways to learn. You can learn through your own trials and errors, through the school of hard knocks, you can learn through the experiences of other people, or you can learn by teaching people. And all three of those methods work. But learning from others is way more effective than going out. Like, for instance, why would anyone in their right mind want to go out and try to figure out how to do marketing without reading a book or listening to this podcast or going to a seminar is kind of stupid. And one of the, I mean, it really is. I don't say that. I mean, it's just, I mean, no one listening to this would be offended because they're listening to this. But think about all the people that just marketing could literally solve their financial problems, could save their businesses, could in many cases save their lives, could lead them to so many things for their families, for other people that could build communities that even have the psychological awareness to actually seek it out. I mean, it's out there. Any problem that a human being has, someone's written a book about it and it may not solve their problem entirely, but they can certainly get guidance or direction, confidence and capabilities if they just simply seek it out. So I am a seeker, and I think I'm a different sort of seeker, though, for a lot of people. And I'm not saying I'm the only one that does what I'm about to talk about. I just tend to put more emphasis on networking. I don't just want to network. I want to do what is genius networking. And our silent friend actually helped me come up with the terminology for this because I created a thing called the genius Network, where I interview people. And it first started out with me simply asking questions, asking questions to people about their skill, about what it is they do. And they talk and I learn and I record it and I distribute it so that I'm not the only person that benefits from that knowledge or that wisdom. And so I created this interview series years ago, and it's called Genius Network. Started out as the Joe Polish Superstar Audio tape of the Month club. But Genius Network kind of sounds cooler, I think. And Gary Halbert actually came up with that name with me, and so I got to give credit to Gary. But it's not just having a genius network. It's being a genius networker and doing genius networking. So you're not just having a network of very smart people, which is much better than just having a network. I mean, you can go out and build a network or have a bazillion fans on Facebook or a million circles on Google or whatever. But the point is, I don't want just mass quantity. I want the best quality, and that's what a genius network is. So I think of going out and networking as doing it at a much higher level, being a genius networker so that I also deliver very valuable things to other people that interact with me. I mean, part of what we're doing with I love marketing is we're simply trying to be useful to a lot of people that. That we know the vast majority of them will never give us money, and that's fine because it puts a lot of good stuff out into the world, and life gives to the giver and takes from the taker. And there's just. So, anyway, all right, well, let's go.

Through some of the magic rapport formula.

Should I just say all of them and then we'll come back and talk to them individually?

No, let's do them one at a time.

Okay. You want to hold out, make people kind of wait.

Yeah, exactly. But I think it's better to go.

One at a time.

That's my.

Well, you know, be really funny. Is if I actually didn't say them all. And then, like, they all sounded really exciting, except for, like, the one right in the middle. And then they would just stop listening to I love marketing. And they would never come back.

That's no good.

That's what you risk.

That is what you risk.

I say let's. I say we go. Let's say it. Let's.

Let's do one at a time. And then. And then go deep on them.

Okay.

Okay.

You want me to sell them? No, I'll say it. So the first one. And here's the thing. Let me point out that I'm not the one that came up with this terminology and description. This was someone who was actually interviewing me, Fabienne. And she. What an interesting name too. Fabian. It took me a while. I still don't know. I say it right, but she's cool. I just did her.

The same thing. You did?

Yeah. She interviewed you? Yep. You met her at my 25k group. Hey, go figure. So basically, the first one. And this is. She came up with this is of what I do. Her interpretation of what I do. Focus on how you will help them or reduce their suffering. And so one of the things I do actually think about is I tend not to have an entitlement attitude. Meaning nobody owes me anything. The world doesn't owe me anything. If I get anything out of my life, it's a byproduct of me creating value first. It's the whole kind of cliche. Don't expect fire and warmth if you're not willing to. Throwing a log into the fireplace or the fire pot or fire pit. I don't know if there's fire pots. But anyway, just let me ramble here. Focus on how you will help them or reduce their suffering first. Don't expect anyone to give you anything without creating value first. I don't ask anyone to do anything for me if there's not something in it for them. And a lot of people walk around the world feeling like the world owes them something. And you have friends, or should I say acquaintances, that the only time you hear from them is when they need to borrow something or they need a favor or they need a connection. But they don't call you up volunteering to help you and to be useful. And then when they call, you don't really want to take their call. Because they're not calling to give. They're not calling to share. They're not calling to be intimate in sharing a sacred, safe space. If it's in a Love relationship or whatever, because this actually goes way beyond business. They're just calling because they want something, and it's just not. It's not a fair exchange. And so I always focus on how I can help people and how I can reduce their suffering. Because there is a lot of suffering in the world. There's a lot of anxiety, there's a lot of mental anguish, there's a lot of desperation, there's a lot of pain, there's a lot of sadness, there's a lot of loneliness. There's a lot of isolation and, you know, being in business and creating value, being in. If you want to call it an ethical. To be an ethical person, to run an ethical business, it's really about eliminating the bad news of other people. Dan Sullivan always talks about other people's bad news as your good news. And I like that comparison, because if you really think about what you do, we have all kinds of listeners of I love marketing that do everything from repair automobiles to do web design to do speaking and book authors to manufacturing products to heavy retail stores, I mean, you name it. A lot of those businesses, they literally, their clientele has bad news, and they're coming to them to sell them some good news to eliminate a problem. If you're a doctor and someone has a broken arm, that is real bad news for the person with a broken arm, but it's good news for you. And if you can fix them, then. What would have happened had you not been around? What would happen if the world had no doctors or had no mortuaries or had no restaurants or had no places that sold toilet paper? You'd be. I mean, as ridiculous as that sounds, there'd be a lot of people running around with a hell of a lot more pain and anxiety. So what does that have to do with anything? Well, if you think about how you can put a smile on someone's face if you're in a business that really isn't. I mean, say you sell entertainment. You have a movie theater. Well, if someone's bored, that's bad news, but it's good news for you if you can have them come into your theater and they can watch a movie and escape for a little bit or whatever. Or if you have a massage place. I mean, a lot of businesses aren't about saving the world. They're just simply about making people happier, making people healthier and whatever. That's one way to look at it. The other part of reducing suffering is using humor. Even if I have nothing to sell somebody, one of the ways I can help people is certainly make them laugh, certainly goof around with them, tell them maybe a really filthy joke or be totally sarcastic and bust on them a little bit. And I also. And this sounds kind of almost like what I just explained, which sounds maybe really do good in the world and that sort of stuff. This may sound completely counter to that. I also understand that no matter how rich, how successful, how famous somebody is, there's one or several areas of their life that are completely fucked up and that have enormous amounts of dysfunction or enormous amounts of pain and struggle. And one of the ways to get people to open up is to actually go for that part of them. And now, I don't mean go for it in a cruel sort of way. I mean just kind of target it and open it up. It's kind of like in the movie Gran Torino where you see Clint Eastwood and the other character, they're in that barber shop and that young Asian guy comes in and you see these guys just totally talking shit to each other and they're busting on each other and they're insulting each other. And in a lot of ways, you know, a woman is an example. And this sounds kind of stereotypical. You know, most women don't bond like that with each other. You know, guys will just bust on each other. And sometimes to the point of where it seems like really cruel, and sometimes it can be, but there's boundaries. And your ability to go to a certain point has a lot to do with the rapport that you have with someone. Your ability to develop rapport with someone, though, also has a lot to do with your ability to kind of be in sync with them, their ability to understand where they're at, the ability to be playful, the ability to be fun. So there's a big difference between goofing around versus really hurting somebody. And so, you know, I know that a lot of people have suffering. And the more that I can get into rapport with them built around the pain points, the more I can sometimes make them laugh. I mean, I've had many friends that have had. Both my parents are dead. I've had very close people to me that have passed away that have had really horrible things happen to them. And a lot of times the only thing that one can do is to listen and sometimes to tell someone it's going to be all right, everything's going to be okay. When it's not going to be all right, when it's not going to be okay. There are certain things that you can just to be with them and Just to comfort them and just to listen to them. And sometimes it's like if someone's really in just the dumps, I mean, it's like, hey, you know, I can't handle it. I can't handle it. Well, you are going to handle it because you will, right? And you, you know, people do and for the most part. And so, you know, there's a lot, there's a lot to be said about suffering. The bottom line is focus on how you can help other people. Focus on what you can give to them first. Don't expect the world to give you anything without creating value first. And so when I ask someone as simply as like, you know, a famous person to do an interview with me, I either will buy something from them or I'm already a client, or I will send them a really nice letter. I will have an introduction from somebody that knows them that can make the introduction for me. I will do the interview, not in a self serving way, but I intend on distributing it and sharing their message with lots of people. In some cases, like with Richard Branson, and I'm happy to talk about that later. People always ask me how, how did I develop the relationship with Richard Branson? And it's like most people don't know is I invested $250,000 up front into his foundation, which I wanted to do. And I'm fully okay with supporting. Before I even knew if anything would come out of it, I wanted to do that. And, you know, so I paid. A lot of times people are like, I want to meet this person, I want to meet this person. It's like, well, can you cut a check? If there's nothing you can offer them, then pay them, then hire them. Because a lot of times if you don't have a client list, you can endorse them too, or share something with a foundation they may have or do something for their children. Sometimes just pay them.

But that's about what you do. Just the Richard Branson example that you're sharing is you had a conscious thought of what's important to Richard Branson and what's important to him is his Virgin Unite charity. That's important to him.

Exactly. When I had dinner with him, which started with a $15,000 dinner, I actually gave him an idea at the dinner that he could use to distribute an educational message about his foundation, Virgin Unite, out to many, many people. And it's the same idea that I gave to Bill Phillips, which Bill Phillips ended up using to raise money for the Make a Wish foundation, which has Made Bill the single largest individual contributor to make a wish in the history of the world. As far as I know. There might be another person that surpassed him at this point or something, I'm not sure. But granted many, many wishes, raised millions and millions of dollars. And it was a marketing technique and it was a model that I had successfully shared with someone else that had successfully implemented it. And so I shared it with Richard Branson. And as a result, he gave me his email. And that's where the dialogue started. But I didn't just stop there and send him an email saying, hey, something for me. Because I realized this is Richard Branson. You know, he gets hit up by, you know, by a million people. It's so funny. I mean, I can't imagine, I can't even tell you how many people hit me up trying to get to Richard Branson. I can imagine what it'd be like to be Richard Branson. You know what I mean? Right, exactly. And it's funny because some people call me like, oh, you know, I really want to get a message to Richard Branson. Can you deliver it for me? And I will get anonymous letters sent to my office. When I say anonymous, meaning I shouldn't say anonymous, but people I don't even know. And I will have people. Yeah. And it's like. And that's all they'll say. Can you put me in touch with Richard Branson? Not like, you know, joe, here's something that would be valuable for Richard Branson and in exchange for doing this, you know, I'm going to come to your conference or I, you know, anything I like, I listen to all your stuff and I think it's great, by the way, can you put me in touch with this person? I mean, not that that alone is going to do it, but it's probably.

Better than just, hey, put me in touch with this person.

Yeah. And that's how most people expect things. It's like, you know, someone, you know, there's a friend of mine that tells this story and I'm going to probably mess it up. But he talks about, like, in Washington, D.C. there's lobbyists and there's people that, you know, will get in some sort of, say, legal trouble or investigation or something in the government, which would probably account for most politicians. But anyway, you know, and he said, they'll call someone and they'll be like, you know, have a problem and I need you to call so and so, you know, high up politician in government or in law, whatever. And, you know, you know, this person can you do me a favor and make that phone call and help me out here? And so the person will be like, yeah, yeah, you know, make that phone call. And so they'll make a phone call. They'll call the person back, you know, 15 minutes later, and they're like, all right, I made the call and your problem is solved. Send me a check for, you know, $50,000. And they're like, what do you mean, send a check for $50,000? And they'd be like, well, they're like, it took you 10 minutes, 15 minutes to make that phone call. And the person will say, well, the phone call took me 10 or 15 minutes, but it took me 10 years to be able to make that phone call, so send me the 50 grand now. How often does that happen? I have no idea. Does it happen? I'm sure. Did I just hear that as an example of the story? Yeah. Someone told me that nothing pointed to any specific episode. But the lesson is powerful. And a lot of people that are really well connected or are really smart or have really successful businesses or really talented musicians, they didn't just. Most people in life were not born on third base and think they hit a triple. There are certain people that are born into wealth or born into opportunity, but for the most part, most people work their asses off. And if I'm going to ask someone, and I ask a lot of people that are really smart to do a lot of things for me, to do interviews with me, to connect with me, to speak at my events, to introduce me to different people, I ask for a lot. If there is any secret here, ask. Let me not forget that, you know, three letter words, right? What's that?

Get clear on what you want first.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, Wayne Gretzky, you know, one of my favorite quotes by him is, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So you gotta be willing, of course, take shots. But the point is, I am really aware that people work hard and in many cases years, and in some cases an entire lifetime, to acquire the relationships, the knowledge, the wisdom. And that shouldn't be taken for granted. And nor should it just be handed over to someone because they want it. And so, yeah, so the first one is focus on you'll help them or reduce their suffering and also build rapport with people by being aware of their suffering. And one of the greatest examples of that is 12 step programs, which I have spent some time in. And one of my first jobs, as a matter of fact, when I was going to college. Never got a degree. But when I was going to college, I used to actually work at a mental hospital. And I used to drive AA patients and NA patients, Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous to meetings. And I would sit in these meetings and listen to these addicts and these alcoholics at these open meetings discuss their addiction. And never did I know many years later how useful 12 step programs would be to me. And the thing is, there's, you know, prisoners of war. You know, back many years ago, they would go to doctors and therapists for help after they come out of war. Some of them with just being shell shocked and traumatized, others with, you know, heroin addictions and various other addictions. And they would not get better. And it wasn't until they put these addicts in a room with other addicts that they started getting better. And the reason is because they had rapport, because of the mutual suffering. You can, you know, as an alcoholic or an addict, and it doesn't matter if it's chemical or behavioral like gambling or sex or overeating or whatever. When you put them in a cross from another individual who's been in the trenches that's gone through the same sort of suffering they have, there's an instant rapport that is built that rarely do they ever have that rapport with someone that doesn't understand them. An alcoholic could be with someone married to them for 20, 30 years and not have any rapport at the level needed to really kind of open up as they would in a 12 step meeting. So this could be an entire conversation for two weeks if we went deep with it. So I can only touch on it. But the point is, there's a lot to be said about the power of connecting with suffering as long as you're able to transform it into something positive. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Okay, so you want me to go on to the next one? Yeah. Number two, invest time, money and energy on relationships.

It's kind of nice to have you pull in your weight on these calls here.

That's very funny. Actually. I'm trying to think off the top of my head, what's the proper way to respond to that? Because you're being very hurtful towards me right now. Yeah. The entire time we've been doing the I love marketing episodes, it's sad to say, you have been literally carrying this whole thing along. And here I am talking about giving and that sort of thing. Really, you have been the ship that's kind of kept this whole thing afloat. It's by the fact that my phone is typically better than yours. And even that's true. We got started, I think at least you sound better. Right, right, right.

Not tonight.

Yeah, because you're on a great, you're on a great phone tonight. So anyway, so invest time, money and energy on relationships and that, you know, it's kind of like we talked about in a previous episode about being in the transaction business or in the relationship business. If you do want to develop relationships, not just acquaintances, not just a bunch of fans, but you want real, true relationships. It does take time and in some cases it does take money. And if the relationship is worth it, be willing to do it. I mean, if you don't have any money, that's one thing, then you can spend time, you can spend energy and there's other ways, there's other things that you can spend, but certainly money can speed up the process. I mean, I'm not a big fan of multi level marketing as you know, and there's a lot of people that can use really powerful direct response techniques to eliminate face to face selling and cold calling and recruiting. And if they are going to go out and recruit and build a downline in a multi level company, there's all kinds of things they can do in advance that would sift and screen the best prospects and, and all that sort of stuff. But for the most part, let's just assume for a minute, I actually liked multi level and I had some sort of, say, nutritional product or food item that I wanted someone to start distributing to their client base and that person happened to be a chiropractor. Well, what most people do is they're like, well, how do I get in front of a chiropractor? They try all kinds of cockamamie ways to meet someone or get introduced to somebody. And my whole thing is, you know, schedule an adjustment, you know, buy, I mean, spend a week trying to meet some person and you're going to come across as a total pest. I mean, spend money and you know, go get an adjustment and bring it up in the middle of the conversation. I mean, and I've actually told friends of mine that, you know, for some bizarre reason want to run, you know, build multi level downlines. And they, you know, sure enough they go and you know, set an appointment with a doctor or a dentist or a chiropractor, whoever it is, they're trying to be the audience and it actually does work. In some cases it could cost as little as 40 bucks. Anyway, invest time, money and energy on relationships, especially ones that are worth it. There are people in the world that are massive multipliers for your success that could save you years of trial and error. And people will spend more money trying to save money then. I mean, it's, you know, without being insulting, it's just ludicrous how some people's, you know, ability to understand and engage the expenditure of money towards a particular seminar, particular event actually is. And one of my favorite things, favorite sayings is the most expensive information in the world is bad information. And you never get a good deal on bad information. And if you want the very best information, if you want the very best sort of connections, then if you have the money, spend it. And if you don't have the money, figure out how to make the money in order to get it, because it's a leverageable sort of behavior. So the third is be the type of person they would always answer the phone for. And that. That takes a lot of soul searching. You know, one of the things that would be a good exercise for everyone is it's kind of like a unique ability exercise that Dan Sullivan does. There's a book that Dan Sullivan has through Strategic College, Strategic Coach, which is strategiccoach.com you can get the book. It's called Unique Ability. And one of the things is you literally send a letter to 10 of your closest friends, or they could be clients, and say, what do you consider my unique abilities? What are my skills? And what people respond back to will give you a lot of insight into the value that they see you bringing to the world that they see you producing. And these are people that probably would answer the phone anytime that you call. And if you think about people in your life that when they call, you literally let it go to voicemail, or you click the button at the top of your cell phone and it immediately sends it in a voicemail, or you have one of those funny apps that immediately sends it into voicemail, because you just never even want to get a live call from that person. Sit and think about why. What sort of energy, what sort of vibe does that person give you versus who's someone that you always answer the phone for? And it comes down to, some people are energy chargers and some people are energy drainers. What are the parts of you that drain energy? What are the parts of you that give out a vibe that someone doesn't want to answer the phone? In some cases, it's good to read the book. How to Win Friends and Influence People. Classic book. Great. Teach you a lot about how to build rapport and how to have people Simply want to be around you. That of course, you can read books all day long. It's until you actually go out into the world and interact and really strive to create value. There are little techniques like send out 10 postcards a day to your network, keep track of everyone's birthday. Even if you happen to have a belief system that doesn't believe in birthdays, still do it anyway, because it's good for marketing. You can just kind of assign it to one of those business activities we do, if you want to look at it that way. But I really take it to the level of being really serious. I mean, it's cool to get, you know, birthday cards. It's cool to get real ones, I have to admit. I mean, you do do that.

I get birthday cards and I get, you know, I've gotten lots of. Lots of great stuff from you.

Yeah. You know, I'm not perfect. I'm sure there's one person on here that's their birthday that's on my list that I might have forgotten. They're going to be like, oh, bullshit. Joe doesn't really do that. I really actually do do that. I go, you know, I systemize it and I send out, you know, thousands of cards from you.

And the whole. Yeah, you just are.

Yeah.

You're a thoughtful guy.

Thank you. That is funny. Some people are going to disagree with that. They're going to be thoughtful. They'll be like, thoughtful.

I'm speaking from firsthand experience.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's also because I like you, you know, I mean, you're just a very handsome fellow. Yeah. So that would be one of the things that I do. And then the next one would be be useful. Grateful and valuable. I am always thinking about how can I be useful to this person even if I'm never going to see them again? You know, I mean, go back to. I love marketing. I mean, we're being really useful to a lot of people. Some people may not like the content all the time. Some people may disagree with some of the things we say, but for the most part, you know, there's a lot. I just saw it on my desk today. But you remember how we did an episode a couple episodes ago, we were talking about Stretch Armstrong, and I think I made a comment like, someone sent me a Stretch Armstrong. One of our. Listen, listeners who's gonna come to and I'll mention this person on a future call and I'm gonna, you know, do a video for him and everything. But one of our listeners actually sent me a Stretch Armstrong. I'm like, where the heck did they find this? And they're like, dean and Joe, we love. I love marketing and can't wait to be at your conference. And I just thought, you know, what an amazingly thoughtful, awesome thing to do. And that was on a particular call when we were talking. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about because I got add. One of the things that we were talking about was just connecting with people and sending wild gifts and stuff. Like me and Marty Edelson, the founder of Boardroom.

Yeah, we talked about that. That reminds me, I just got home from. I was in Washington, D.C. for a few days and I just got home and there was a package here from you that somebody had sent to the office. A nice picture. A framed picture for me?

Yes. And that was from. Oh, boy, what is his name? It will come to me. Victor. Victor, who is a magician and sings for kids and stuff and listens to our. Yeah, let me see if I can find. This is like driving and talking on your cell phone at the same time. We're doing an I love marketing call, but yeah, let me see. Victor Pasini, P A C I N I dot com. He actually made a framed picture of cats and cheese based on our cat and cheese episode. That really is your shtick. That's when you're kind of running the show. But that was very n. He's coming to the conference and I actually. Thank you, Victor. Yes. And I met him for lunch and he was doing a thing to get schools to recruit. To recruit him. And I think I read on the last call that we did, he's like, yeah, he wrote that the dollar bill worked. Going to basically showcase in front of 1200 school district staff can get up to 8 schools for this. Thanks. Planning on coming in September? Yeah.

I've experienced being with you both on the phone. When you're. You're with somebody, you're a guy who probably conducts more three and four way calls than anybody I ever have experienced. Like your immediate thought is when you're talking with somebody, you know, who can help this person, who could they. Who could really, you know, who could I introduce them to that would help them? And you immediately dial up somebody on speed dial. And of course, because you've invested into the relationship and you're the kind of person that they'll answer the phone for, you can connect anybody with one phone call. You know, I've experienced that you've been with somebody who you thought maybe I had an answer for them or something. And you Introduced us right away, or, you know, I've been with you where we've been together with people, and sometimes people are even they don't get what you're offering. I mean, you know, I've seen you ask people like, you know, what. What would be the next level for you? What do you. What do you need? Who can help you? Kind of thing. And they're reluctant to even say.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you this too. And a lot of it has to do with rapport, and a lot of it has to do with alignment. I believe in. And this is one of the things that Fabien, actually, the way she worded it is I give value on the spot. I'm always trying to.

That's what it is, value on the spot. Perfectly said.

Yeah. When I think of something like, oh, this person could really benefit from knowing this person, or these people could do a business deal together, someone expresses to me that they have some sort of irk, some sort of pain, some sort of need, some sort of opportunity.

And.

And I kind of scan the Rolodex, the Rolodex in my brain and think, oh, I know this person and like, call them now. Not, oh, I'm going to send an email to both of you. I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? I mean, I'm going to send an email to both of you. Not that you shouldn't do that, but the point is, like, make a phone call if you're right there, or send an email, like, right there and follow it up. I mean, make it happen. How many people have kind of gone out there and just sort of put it out to the. The ether and then forgot about it? There was no follow up. And I have a friend, Glenn Morshower, who's an actor on. He was on every episode of 24. He's in the Transformer movies. He's like, you know, people. He's not typically like a really, you know, his name. A lot of people don't know Glenn Morshauer. If you saw him, though, you would know him because he's played more military roles than any living actor. And he's just a fantastic guy. And, you know, he says things like, people say that, oh, you know, we need to get together and talk, or, you know, we should get together and do lunch. And his whole thing is like, well, I got it, you know, why don't we do it now? It's like, oh, we really need to get together and talk. Oh, well, you know, of course, if there's time, he's like well yeah, we should, let's talk like now or let's talk tomorrow or let's have dinner tonight. And people will spend more time talking about getting together or talking about what they need to talk about than if they were just to say let's talk about it like now.

Well we had that happen just yesterday.

Yes, exactly. As an example, I've got a 25k meeting in New York City in about three weeks and Paul Zane Pilzer, who's one of the top economists in the world is speaking at it. And so I was on the phone with Paul for about 30 minutes kind of going over how he's going to come and present and then we're going to turn off the mic and we're going to do a wild Q and a session about 10 things about the economy that people don't know. And this is a guy who was an advisor to the Reagan administration and very politically involved and sharp as hell. And great interview. I remember the one years ago with Tony Robbins and Paul Zane Pilser, which was awesome. He's written a bunch of best selling books, that sort of stuff. So Paul, who operates in the same sort of speed, we said, well let's do a quick interview on, you know, a teaser of what you're going to talk about and we'll, you know, send it out to people that are coming to the meeting so they're aware and people that are thinking about coming to the meeting. And so he did, you know, we did it right there on the spot. I called you and I said, Dean, can you, you know, record this for us? Because you're actually better at that than me, believe it or not.

And you're the guy to answer my phone for.

Yes you did. And by the way, I did have a backup in case you didn't do it, but I was more comfortable and had better rapport with you than the other person that could have done it right there on the spot. But yeah, I acted literally within five minutes. Can we do it now? Because this is a guy who's very expensive and very much in demand and you know, he's a famous, you know, this guy's been on the COVID of 100 magazines, you know, Wall Street Journal, everything. A lot of people don't know him if they're not in economics or whatever, but for the most part this is a very famous dude. And yeah, we did it right there on the spot. And many people like him would go through assistance after assistance after assistance and they would spend more time thinking about a 30 minute interview, which is, I don't even know how long it was that we did. But they would spend more time, mental time thinking about it, planning than to just do it. And he understands that. And so he's like, let's do it, you know, so we did it. So that's a perfect example. So create value on the spot and going back to being useful, grateful and valuable. You know, you can have all the relationships, all the opportunities, everything in the world and you know, one feeling, skill, emotion, whatever you want to call it, it's really not an emotion. It's a part of an emotion of maybe joy is gratitude. Because all the relationships and the money in the world will mean nothing to you if you don't have any gratitude. And so I tend to really do my best and it is not natural for me. I mean, you said something really interesting to me years ago, maybe not years ago, but a couple years ago, and you said, you know, some people just have a predisposition to wake up every morning and be happy. And other people have a predisposition to wake up and they're pissed and they hate the world. And, you know, I like you and your wife are, you know, pretty kind of happy. Go lucky to use that sort of cliche sort of people. You know, you're always. I mean, your wife is just like perpetually happy, which is ridiculously annoying to me, but. But she is. And whereas me, I don't always wake up like, yeah, world, I love you. You know, it's not like that. I mean, there are times where I wake up feeling kind of crabby and I. And I think, you know, as years go by, I think I've experienced that too. With me or you do me with other people. What do you say? Yeah, I mean, why do you have to be like this? I mean, I think as much stuff as I've done with the human mind and all the psychiatrists and people that I know, and a lot of them are clients of mine, I think they're going to more and more find genetically, some people are just wired to be unhappy. You work on that. One of the ways to work on it is really focus on gratitude. Again to plug Dan Sullivan. He has a great audio which is absolutely worth getting@strategiccoach.com called the gratitude principle. And it's simply a process of identifying every day what you're grateful for, the reason why you're grateful, what further action you can take, what one specific action you're going to, what further progress you can make, and what specific action you're going to take. It's very much like his positive focus exercise. And if you do things like a positive focus every day or you do things like really focus on gratitude, I simply think you'll not only be happier, but you'll be more valuable, you'll be more useful and you'll appreciate all of the things that many people miss because the ears only hear and the eyes only see what they're looking for. And if you're looking for reasons to be pissed off or you're listening for things that you don't like, guess what, you're going to hear them. It's like Henry Ford said, if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And so I just really try to think, how can I be really useful for someone? That's why I don't sell stuff to my clients that will make me money but won't be of use to them. That's why I don't spend a lot of time selling information products to people that I know are just opportunity seekers. Not that people that are opportunity seekers on buying my stuff, because clearly I think every entrepreneur is a opportunity seeker. But what I mean is I don't, I don't sell things, I don't promote things that I don't think are for one, top notch and two, that aren't aligned with the direction that my clients are wanting to go. I have maintained up to this point a pretty darn good track record. I have thousands of very happy clients and I've not pissed off a lot of people. I've created a lot of raving fans simply because I'm always trying to be really useful. When I first started selling my first marketing program, the carpet upholstery cleaners, as I was developing it and creating the instructions built around the strategies that I had successfully used to take me from being a dead broke carpet cleaner living off credit cards to actually turning that business around and becoming an advisor to that industry. I thought of let me create what I wish had existed when I was going through my version of a living hell trying to make my business work so that people would not have to go through the same crap that I went through. Since I figured out strategies and methodologies to get me out of it. How can I provide the same sort of thing? And it was all about just being useful to other people. And it's, you know, the same rocket science here. I mean, you know, someone might be listening to going, well, you haven't said anything I don't already know. And it's like, well, you know, as Stephen Covey says, to know and not to do is not to know. To know when not to do is not to understand. So people think they understand things, they think they know things, but they're not doing these things. And you know Emerson with another great quote, because I tend to love quotes if people have not picked up on that. He says, you ask for a new idea when you haven't used the last one that I gave you. And, you know, I mean, people run around, oh, I need a new idea. I need it. Well, you know, what about the one you just had that you didn't use? Maybe try thinking and understanding that one. Okay, so I'll go. Any questions? Anything you want to say or you want me to keep.

This is good.

You know what? It's.

I mean, it's been great to observe these and, you know, see them in action, and now to hear them kind of codified like this, you know.

Yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you. Okay, so the next one, number five, I guess, is where we're at, is treat others as you would love to be treated. Not do unto others as you would do unto yourself. But, I mean, treat others as you would love to be treated. Not just like to be treated, but that you really do your best to wow people. And sometimes wowing them is not about sending a stick letter with a dollar bill attached and calling up and saying, thank you. I mean, that helps. And that's all useful, but, I mean, in all areas of life, I mean, try to be the person that people at the end of their day say, man, I'm glad I ran into that person today. Or they can really remember that interaction. And sometimes that's simply being memorable. Like our good friend Shawn Stevenson. He's great at acknowledging people. He's great at making fun of people in a way that makes them laugh. But simply don't sell stuff to people just to make money. Think about the person buying what it is you're selling as if it was your mother or your grandmother or your brother or sister. Assuming these are, you know, because some people may hate their mother, their grandmother, their brother, their sister. So don't identify with people you hate and then treat them that way. Not a good way to kind of operate. Really think about your best friend. Think about people that you really care about, and how would you treat them, you know, and treat people that way. One of the greatest things to develop as a marketer is empathy, having empathy for other human beings. And if you think about your very best friends, you Give them a lot of slack. You let them get away with shit when they're being stupid, every once in a while you give them slack. So give yourself some slack. But also just really try to operate in the world to where don't do stuff to people that you wouldn't want done to you. You know, it's amazing. I might have mentioned this on a previous call. I can't remember last time this happened. It was three, four months ago where something was left in the bottom of a shopping cart when I was at Whole Foods and I went in and I've done this probably, I'm not kidding you. I mean there's things that have not been charged that I'll say they didn't charge me for this. And I'll say, oh you, there was five avocados, you only charged me for four. And they're like, thank you, thank you for mentioning that. Nobody mentions that. And there's something left on the bottom of my car I think is water. I went back in the store and they're like, no one ever does this. And I hear that and I'm like, what the hell? If you know it and you're walking out of there, it's stealing. It's kind of like that story of the father with the 12 year old son and the 13 year old son and he goes to a movie theater and says, or whatever, you know the age of when they get the child discount. Let's say you know, his 13 year old son and 14 year old son for the sake of my story here. And the person behind the counter says, you know, he goes up and says, you know, you know, one child and two adults and you know, the guy says, well, you know, sir, I wouldn't have known that your other kid was an adult. You could have said a child and you could have got a discount and saved money and, and the father says, yeah, I know that and you know that, but he would know that also. And the point is, I'm not going to sit and teach my son how to be a thief and how to lie. I say that as an example. But if you really think about your own life and what it is that you do, don't hang around dishonest, negative or lazy people because you can pick up their traits. And secondly, treat others as you would love to be treated. I just think it's a good way to operate. Be nice to people that you meet on the way up. They're the same people you're going to meet on the way down. And if you ever Mistreat people. Life is a boomerang. And the boomerang, there are people that are out there fleecing people that are ripping people off, that are being young or old and stupid or young and stupid, and they're getting away with shit. And, you know, I look at some, I see people that, you know, they spend a lot of money and they're just, you know, they just try to act like they're so damn cool, but they're doing stuff that really, you know, isn't all that cool on how they make money and how they operate. And I, you know, I just sit and think about, you know, five years from now, 10 years from now, you know, you better enjoy it now because you are just planting the seed. You are making your bed a certain way. And I am the belief that. But whatever someone agree or disagree, I believe there's a karmic force out there. And I believe nice guys do finish first. It may take a long time, but even if they don't, being able to go to bed at night is way more important than making a bunch of money by being an asshole or scamming people. Number six, avoid formalities. Be fun and memorable. Not boring people, if anything, just need to lighten the hell up. I do not like corporate mentality and how uptight people are and how fake people are. I mean, be a freaking human being. Make jokes. You could sit across a table from someone and if you can't laugh with them, why would you want to hang out with them? And you sit and look at people that will go to dinner together and they don't even converse and they're not even laughing. And you can gauge the value of a relationship by how often you laugh with somebody. And some people, people don't have. I mean, they're just wired not to have a good sense of humor. And in a particular situation like that, I think it makes sense to develop it. Even if you have to go to clown school or take improv comedy. And I'm not joking. I mean, if you have no sense of humor, go and rent comedy DVDs or go on Netflix and download a bunch of crazy comedians or listen to funny stuff or literally go to clown school. I don't even know where the hell clown school is, but you can probably find it online. You might have to go to some weird city or something, but do it and go to comedy club.

Because, you know, even that's. You're just naturally like that too. I mean, I know that you. You make a conscious effort of it, but I mean, that's part of the fun of hanging out with you is we just make each other laugh so much, too. But going to restaurants, like, if my favorite thing is going to a restaurant where we go see the. You know, when they go see the hostess to get seated or whatever, and there'll be two people at the counter, and it's like your favorite opportunity because you'll just. I mean, I think the last thing you said was asking the two girls, so who do you think would win between you two in a fight?

Oh, yes. Where were we? Where was that? Was that in Toronto?

No, I think we were at some breakfast place with John Benson.

Oh, yes. Okay. Okay. And basically, yeah, I'll tell everyone a way you can mess with people that actually quite funny. And of course, you got to get the delivery down so you're not. You don't come across.

And you need to keep a straight face.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, are you guys friends with each other? And they're like, yeah, yeah, we hang out. And even if they don't, I don't care what they say, I'm gonna still gonna say the same line. And I'll say, well, you know, if you were to get in a fight with her, you think you could take her, and you just, you know, look at one and kind of don't really look at the other one. Say, if you were to get in a fight with her and you kind of point to the other one, do you think he could take her? And you just pause long enough for this. They really like evaluating this, and it's funny. And usually the other one will stick up for the other one. And I'll say, hey, are either you funny? And one will say, yeah, all right, which one of you is funnier? Another thing I always do, and it's not about the line, it's about the reaction where if there's a tiny little piece of food or just something like. Like you've eaten a meal and there's like a stack of rice or something, or a little bit of rice or salad or whatever, at the end of the meal, the waiter, the waitress will come up and you just say, can you box this up for me? They have to literally sit and evaluate it. They don't know if you're serious, if you say it seriously. And I have said that, I kid you not, hundreds of times. And it's so funny. And it's not funny because of the line. It's funny because of the reaction. And it makes people laugh. To me, the Best thing is I really want to amuse myself. Even if people don't think my own jokes are funny. Shit makes me laugh. But it makes them laugh most of the time. It makes them laugh a lot. And they remember you. And you've just added value to somebody by making someone feel better. Is creating value people. You remember the thing on some of the comments on our I Love marketing site. We were doing a I love marketing call and we were talking about value and someone asked, what is value? And I literally went to Wikipedia and I posted the Wikipedia link explaining value and the value as it relates to marketing. And I also suggested that they talk to some of their own clients to ask them, why do they buy from us? What? And you'll identify what value means in a business environment. But value is way beyond business. Value is being the person that you will answer the phone for, that they want to answer the phone for because they find you valuable. And if they will hang up or they don't want to talk to you, it's because it's more valuable for them not to talk to you at that particular moment than to do so. Part of this is learning how to read people. A lot of it is social interactions. A lot of these are skills that you can develop. But you know what, lots of books, lots of seminars that can help you with this stuff, but you learn how to do it out in the real world. And part of it is I always think of my friend Dave Kekich, who's been in a wheelchair for over 30 years, paralyzed from the chest down. And he's like, life is seldom as bleak as it seems when it's going bad, or seldom as good as it seems when it's going well, lighten up. You'll live longer. If nothing else, lighten up. If you need to have a five minute wallow where you just like, oh, life sucks, horrible. Give yourself five minutes and then be done with it as much as you can. As much as you can. And again, I have had. I'm currently right in the middle of one of the most painful split ups of a friendship that I've had in a long time. A real just like, wow, somebody that was really close to me, a dear friend, did something that I could not believe. This person did this. And it's really irked me, I mean, a lot over the last couple of weeks. I mean, several nights where I've literally been not able to sleep. I was so taken back and, you know, I have to kind of grieve the loss of this relationship. And I Kind of have to, you know, really think it through and talk to someone. But I, you know, I reach out to people and one of the things that helps is humor. You know, just constantly keeping myself in a state of laughter. And, you know, there's a famous book, you know, called the Anatomy of an Illness where, you know, this individual, you know, watched, you know, comedy movies while they were sick and got themselves well. So humor is a great thing to do. And so as it applies to business, avoid formalities. People are so freaking uptight, you know, and it's just, it just, it's just ridiculous. So. And then don't be boring because, you know, boring people are boring. And that's all I have to say about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're memorable when you get a phone call from them and you're like, screw this nonsense. So number seven is appreciate people. Everyone wants to feel significant. And so that means follow the referability habits from Dan Sullivan. Show up on time, do what you say you're going to do. Finish what you start and say please and thank you. Show up on time, do what you say you're going to do. Finish what you start. Say please and thank you. If you don't do those, you could be really talented, really skilled, really smart, really a lot of things. But you will not be perceived as dependable, respectful, appreciative of someone's time, effort, presence, you know, all that stuff. And people do want to feel very significant. I mean, it's a lonely world out there for a lot of people. And a lot of people have thankless jobs. And if someone opens the door for you, say thank you, be nice to everyone from cab drivers to busboys to store clerks to janitors to anyone. And I'm amazed at people that, you know, just are rude to people that have, you know, kind of lower level sort of positions compared to them. And, you know, and if. And if I actually hang out with someone and I find them being rude to, like, you know, wait staff or not appreciative, I literally don't maintain that relationship because I always get shocked by that.

Some people, you know, you never see that coming with some people, do you? And then I've been with people who just like. It's really like, it's shocking to see how they treat people.

Yep, exactly. It's amazing to me. And so, you know, the thing is, like, send thank yous whenever someone does something for you, when someone extends themselves, you know, make sure you always remember that and send people birthday cards and, you know, do things to you Know, if someone. There's going to be what, you know, one day, this is going to be the last day of your life. And you go to funerals and you have all these people saying all these wonderful things about other people, about, you know, how great they were and how important they were to them. And it's like, you know, say those things to the people while they're still alive. You know, I was the primary caretaker for my father the last year of his life, and he had a slow, painful death. I mean, his last days were in hospice. And those people in hospice were unbelievable because they're surrounded by death all the time, and they're. I mean, they're just special people. And, you know, I would bring those women, mostly women, you know, gifts, and I would bring them things even after my father passed away because I just didn't want them to ever forget that, you know, I cared about what they did. They did things that I couldn't do myself, you know, and it's, you know, and you want to say, and I didn't have a great relationship with my father. It was a lot of distance for a lot of years because he was a really tormented sort of guy when my mother passed away when I was 4 years old. You know, so he had a hard time connecting because he had a really painful life. And, you know, when I had a chance, though, I said as much as I could say, you know, do I wish I was more connected? You know, looking back now, you know, almost, you know, it was back in 2003 when he passed away. Yeah. But you know what I mean, people are doing the best they can at any given time. I mean, even when people are doing rotten things, I mean, as hard and as weird as it is to say this and hear this, I mean, most people are doing the very best they know how to do, even when they're doing shitty things. So I have a level of empathy for that. And I also know that, if anything, there's a lot of people that are doing good things in the world and are really doing the best they can and appreciate them for it. Appreciate them for doing business with you, appreciate them for working, for providing services and their time and their energy. All of the great advancements of the world should be celebrated and all the achievements should be celebrated. And when someone buys something from you, appreciate them. If they're not a nice person, if they're not a great client, one of the ways you can appreciate them is sending them off to someone else that could give them a better opportunity. That is fire Them. When I say appreciate people, that doesn't mean take shit from people that are abusing you. I'm talking about really people that are out there really trying to add value. Let them know that, acknowledge them. Because people will blossom if you do that and be the person that is a sprinkler, you know, be a fountain, not a drain, because there's plenty of drains in the world. So that's that one. And then the other one, of course number eight is give value on the spot, which we talked about. So what I would say is, you know, look, if someone, if you know someone that could help somebody and it's going to be a good fit, I mean, you know, don't turn somebody on. You know, it's kind of like if you have a scummy male friend who says, hey, do you have any women you can introduce me to? And you know that all this guy wants to do is get laid. You're not going to introduce him to one of your girlfriends that wants a relationship. That wouldn't be a right fit. I mean it would just not be, that would not be giving value on the spot. So what I mean by giving value on the spot is if it's a right fit and someone has a problem and you know someone that can solve that problem, give it to them. If someone is having challenges with something and you can give them advice, please do so. I mean, I know people that are worth hundreds of millions of dollars that you can sit in their presence and they will not volunteer anything. They keep it all close to their chest. And I just like, what the hell is wrong with you? I mean, you know, something that could help someone say it, you know, and people that you know, you have to pull information out of them, they just, they're not free with it or you know, I mean, I don't sign non disclosure agreements. Hardly ever. You know, of people that want to consult with me about an idea of theirs and they want me to sign a non disclosure for me to do consulting with them because I'm a really expensive consultant now. I mean my Current rates are 25 grand for half a day. And I'll have people approach and be like, yeah, yeah, we're thinking about hiring you and like you to sign this non disclosure before we share the idea with you. And, and I'm like, you know, first off, if anyone should be signing a non disclosure, it should be you guys signing something because of shit that I'm going to tell you, you don't know. And secondly, most of your ideas, there's nothing new under the sun because I come across, as do you, Dean, a million of the world's greatest ideas. But they don't have any marketing to get them out there. So it doesn't matter because the great ideas of the world will never go anywhere without good marketing and good packaging and stuff. And that's not to say nothing's proprietary, that there shouldn't be a situation for non disclosures. It's rare. But the point is, if someone's never going to hire me, you've seen me at restaurants, you've seen me out where someone just has a marketing challenge and all. Sometimes I'll say, hey, listen to our I love marketing podcast or let me write down a book or a website for you, or here's a person that you could call that I think would be really useful and really valuable. And people say, well, how do you put all these famous people into your 25k group and get them to give you money? Well, for the most part it's because long before I started a $25,000 group, I actually created value with the people and they already know me as somebody that provides value. And then when it came time for me to actually start a group where I charged $25,000 a person for it, most of these people already knew the value they would get from me because I'm dolling it out for free all day long. And they're like, well, God, if he gives me this much for free, what would I get if I actually paid him and actually spent two days in an environment that he facilitated? And you know what the response is to that. Exactly. So if you just Even when I had my carpet cleaning business and there was no Internet, one of the very first things I created was my consumer awareness guide. And if people really want to understand education based marketing, almost all of our marketing podcasts talk about this technique. Because you use it, I use it. One of the ways to give value on the spot to prospects is educate them on how to make a buying decision other than price. One of my very first things, my consumer awareness guide for carpet cleaning is Read this guide and you'll discover how to avoid 4. Carpet cleaning rip offs 6. Costly misconceptions about carpet cleaning 8. Mistakes to avoid when choosing a carpet cleaner 7 questions ask a carpet cleaner before you invite them into your home. The difference between value and price. How to get your carpet cleaner to 100% guarantee their work. Blah blah blah. With this information you can make an intelligent, informed decision. Well, as soon as someone read my consumer awareness guide I was giving them value on the spot and teaching them how to make a buying decision. And now between me and you, Dean, we have taught tens of thousands of entrepreneurs all over the world how to use education based marketing. You in real estate, me in carpet cleaning, and then I was an offshoot through my Nightingale Conant programs and through various speeches and things that me and you have done for many, many years. And we basically are teaching people how to create value on the spot in a selling environment with many people that may never even do business with them. But the point is it's just take that sort of idea and think of yourself as constantly giving people. If you've got a suggestion. Here's the funny thing about take I love marketing. The suggestions are free. The only way they're going to cost you is if you don't use them. They're going to cost you money if you don't use them. But they're free. The suggestions are free. I'll give them to you all day long. And actually I get great joy out of it. People that always try to keep everything closed. I don't want to tell my trade secrets. You don't got any trade secrets. If you want to figure something out, do a search on Google. Figure out how to freaking build a house, fix a plumbing leak or build a bomb. I mean you can find anything out in a matter of seconds. Oh, I've got the great idea. It's going to be the next Google. Really? Okay, good. Tell everybody about it. You might get someone to support you on it. So anyway, I'm having a tangent and a little like getting pissy here because I'm supposed to be.

That's great.

Yeah. So okay, what's number nine? Number nine? Number nine is get as close to in person as you can. Get away from electronic friends. Not that you shouldn't use electronics because electronics are ways that you can connect with people, but really connect with people. Don't just send them an email, don't just do a post, literally call them on the phone or do a personal video or do a personal audio or send someone a personal note. And when I say personal, I mean not a form letter, I mean make it personal. If the person is important, you know, then connect with them. You know, we are the most gotten.

Me started on that with the. Like you send more than anybody I know you send audio. You know, rather than type out an email message, you'll record something and text it to me. And it's different then it's a different experience because you hear your voice and, and it's more personal. Or when you'll send a video where you'll just record a video talking right to me, then that's something. Tony Robbins does that same thing whenever he sends an email.

I get audios. Yeah, yeah. For me it's faster. Secondly, it's really freaking cool and it really shows that you're thinking about the person. As an example, I just got done doing a platinum training in Pittsburgh with my professional cleaners that are in our highest level group. For my clients in that industry. One of the things that I told everyone to do is to start an I Love Marketing meetup group in their own town. And we'll talk about this on a future I Love Marketing call. I won't take a lot of time talking about it here. I'll just kind of give the highlights. And so one person there, Andrew David, who is also a BNI guy in Florida, he actually immediately went to meetup.com and set up a meetup group for I Love Marketing. And I told all of my people, I said, here, here's the reason I want you to do this is because we've got all this curriculum on I Love Marketing that people can listen to and get educated about direct response marketing and a variety of subjects. And anyone that listens to this already has a bigger future. And you all have a bigger future and you want to learn how to be better at marketing. And you're already great at marketing. And you all have paid me to learn marketing because we do these in person sort of meetings and we've got this great episodes and series and curriculum of some of the best marketing information out there. And anytime anything new comes down the pipe, we're here. We're one of the first people to actually put out educational information on using Google. Right after it came out, I interviewed someone immediately put it up on I Love Marketing. Basically I said, we've got all this stuff and you will accelerate the speed of you learning and using marketing if you're teaching it to other people. And I'm not even going to tell you to go and teach anything per se new. I just want you to facilitate a discussion group with other marketers. So start I Love Marketing meetup group and just do them in your town. We've now got my clients in different cities throughout the United States setting up I Love Marketing meetup groups recommending that people go to I Love Marketing and listen and then show up at the meetings with opportunities, challenges and problems that they have so that they can have a sounding board of other People that love marketing, that are interested in marketing, talking about it. And I would recommend the same thing to anyone listening to this. If you really want to go deep with the whole subject of marketing, use the curriculum that we have here on I love Marketing. Start a meetup group, start a discussion group. And the mere fact that you're facilitating it is going to position you. You'll be able to develop joint ventures that way you'll be able to develop some great connections in your community. It will probably result in money making for you. And if nothing else, you're going to meet some really cool people that have the same interest in a fascinating subject of marketing. And of course I love that and Dean would love it because it's just getting more people exposed to the stuff that we actually are talking about on these. Anyway, bringing it back to the magic report formula, get as close in person as you can. I recorded videos for my clients in the cleaning niche so that when they're going to send out invitations that will have a video for me explaining what I love marketing is how to get the most of the I love marketing group. And and the two people that started and were the first ones to actually start it, Bob Runyon and Andrew David. I actually recorded videos for them today that they can share with everyone that they're inviting to their meetup group. How long did it take me to do that? It took me like five minutes. But you know what, it makes a big difference to them. I could have just sent out a generic video, which I recorded one also that's going to the entire group because obviously can and clone and get as much out there as I can. Like we teach, but at the same time I wanted to acknowledge the people that started it from the very beginning. And to whatever degree I can do this, I will do that. And can you get to everyone? No. I mean, I wish I could personally go and respond to every comment on I love marketing, as do you, but we can't. The point is we do the best we can and we have to gauge and value who we can respond to and who we can't. It goes back to the Bill Cosby thing. I think he's like, I don't know the secret of happiness, but I do know the secret of unhappiness. I'm not sure if I'm saying it right. I don't know the best way to be happy, but I do know a guaranteed way to be unhappy and that's try to please everybody. So you certainly can't please everybody. You certainly can't respond to everybody. However, get as close as you can to the person. Phone, video, audio, etc. Take photos with them. Create value for them. I mean, Paul Zane Pilzer is an example. When I first met him, I didn't have a tremendous amount of time. You know, a couple years ago, I met him at Sundance in Utah, and I didn't have a lot of time to really talk with him. We had a ride in an elevator, we talked for a little bit. I, you know, I remembered some people that he knew and I brought that up in order to build rapport. And then Dan Sullivan created a thing called the Multiplier Mindset. One of the cards, he has 50 cards of what he considers the greatest entrepreneurial thinkers. And one of them is a Paul Pilzer sort of law that Dan came up with. And I remember shooting a video with Dan and emailing that to Paul Zane Pilser because he had given me his email. But what's kind of funny is I now have him speaking at my event, but I had photos with him a couple of years ago. Now, when we send out the invitation, I actually include on the invitation a picture with me and Paul because it shows linkage. So you never know when you're going to be able to use photos and stuff like that. But the point is, get close to people. There's a lot more ideas that I could go into, Dean, but I think we're kind of bundling up against me already going over time, so I should probably shut up.

I can't tell you. It's been. It's been a delight to listen.

Yeah. Yeah. And I have a good friend in Toronto named Jarrah who's a former Make a Wish kid, who me and him are working on a lot of stuff with the Make a Wish Foundation. We met with the CEO of Make a Wish with you up there, and we're doing stuff together. And I do want to also acknowledge him because he creates a tremendous amount of value for me by going through all my stuff, constantly complimenting me. This guy actually thinks I'm much greater than I think of myself, which is kind of funny. And at the same time, we have a pretty good partnership because we share ideas back and forth and we're kind of on the same page with interest in the same area of marketing, the same area of how to actually contribute without doing it in a ridiculously fake way that many philanthropic organizations attempt to do, which is like a lot of stuff that people do is cosmetic. You can go out and. And give, but it's Very cosmetic, meaning it's not real. Everything that I'm talking about, do your best to make it real. Sometimes in life, you fake it till you make it. If you're not confident, but you need an environment where you're going to look confident, I mean, you do your best to be confident. If you're scared shitless of asking someone out, you kind of suck it up and do your best not to show the fear. So I'm not suggesting that everyone's going to be perfect here. Well, I'm suggesting is a lot of times you're not going to be good at all at doing this stuff. But the point is, the way to get better at it is to keep doing it and really focus on just being sincere, though. I mean, there's a lot of insincerity in the world. There's a lot of bullshit artists in the world. And if you've really developed a specific skill, if you really can help people, if you can really reduce suffering, be proud of that. Go out and share as much of it with the world as you can, and it will come back to you tenfold. I mean, whoever came up with a quote, be it Zig Ziglar or whatever is, you know, you can get anything in life that you want if you help enough other people get what they want. I mean, there is a tremendous amount of truth to that. And I'm happy to talk about this further, you know, but hopefully that was, you know, good, and I'd love to hear everyone's comment on it. Cool, man.

I'm going to recommend that everybody print out the transcript of this episode particularly, and really study it because, you know, there's. I would use this as a checklist. You know, it really is action items that you can really do and think about these things. You know, how can you focus on how you'll help people or reduce their suffering? You know, how can you invest time, money and energy on relationships and just go right down the list and really just kind of think deeply about how you can embody these. And I think it's been great just to listen and see, because I've witnessed all of this over all the years that I've known you. And now to have it all formalized like this is really. It's fantastic.

Yeah. Thank you. And, you know, and Fabienne Fredrickson, really, by interviewing me, helped me even get more clear on it. Jr, who's constantly listening to my stuff and gives me feedback, gets me clear on it. You asking me about it, it allows me to get clear on it. So if anyone really, if you had someone interview you and you simply recorded it, it would give you some insight on what it is that you do. If there's anything I'd love to have people do. One of the ways to develop magic Rapport formula is set up a meetup group and use this particular episode and have a discussion with other people about doing it and just hearing other people's perspectives. And like, in 12 step groups, take what you like and leave the rest. It's kind of like there's so much that could be discovered about connecting with people by actually going out and connecting. So I hope with the little bit I talked about with meetup Group, I'd love to have people out there start an I love marketing meetup group in your area. And you can go to meetup.com and set up a group and just do it. And use the curriculum that we have here as the talking points, as the. The jumping off points. Is the diving board needed in order to get into the pool, but, you know, get into the pool and build rapport because that's how, you know, that's how you make things happen. You do it through other people that are aligned with your thinking and make it happen.

Love it.

Awesome.

That's what I was trying to say. Yep.

Thank you very much.

All right, everybody, we'll talk to you next time.