Unscripted: Finding Humor, Grace, and Freedom When Life Goes Off Script with Cheryl Hines and Joe Polish

Can you imagine just being at the grocery store and someone's like, leave your husband. I'm just trying to buy a cantaloupe. Relax. Some people like to be outraged because it makes them feel like they're doing something. Well, when he was out of town, he would beg me to feed the ravens. And I'm like, nothing would have made him happier than the idea of me being shirtless with the blobs of me. Say yes to everything that comes your way because you don't know if that person is going to be the person that changes you.

How can you be a domino for someone else? The Joe Polish Show. Any problem in the world can be solved with the right genius network. In business and in life, your greatest growth often happens when things don't go according to plan. When the script changes, when you face the unexpected, the uncomfortable or the unpredictable. Your ability to stay real, flexible and creative determines everything. That's what separates those who merely survive from those who truly succeed. Our next guest has lived her entire life unscripted and turned the chaos into a career, a purpose and a message. Do you remember what happened last year around this time? Okay. Most people were super excited. Now, unfortunately, the government shut down, couldn't get Bobby Kennedy. And I was like, that sucks. So I was sitting there thinking, okay, who is better than Bobby Kennedy? That's a tough one because he's an amazing guy. I think we have someone better than Bobby Kennedy. Like way better. Okay, so let's see. And I hope Bobby's not mad that I would say that. Okay. All right, here we go. Cheryl Hines is best known as the Emmy nominated star of the long running hit series Curb youb Enthusiasm. She built her career by trusting her instincts, adapting on the fly and finding humor in the unknown. Cheryl's also an author. Her memoir, Unscripted, which comes out next week, you're going to be the first audience that gets a copy of the book before it's even released. Today, as the wife of Robert Kennedy Jr. And a national voice for health, wellness and authenticity, she continues to live that message, helping others navigate a world that's increasingly unpredictable. Please help me welcome Cheryl Hines.

Hi. That was very nice.

Thank you.

I can't wait to tell Bobby.

Yes.

First.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Everybody here. We are going to take everybody in for a second. This is so cool.

Yeah, yeah. I got a whole slew of questions for you and we may, depending on time, take some from the audience. So.

Okay.

Your new book, I got it right here. I didn't show anyone the COVID yet. And they're all getting a copy of it. It's unscripted. Okay. Yeah. So you all get a copy of that. There's also a little QR code. So after you get the book, I want you to also download the audio. The audio won't be available for a few days because it comes out next week. But download the audio and then if you like the book, give it a good review because the book's just coming out and that'll be really helpful for her. Five star. If you like it. Five star.

So thank you. It's going to be five star no matter what. But I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. There's something for everyone in there.

Yeah, there is.

Covers a lot of territory.

Yeah, it does. It does get a little spicy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what did you learn in writing the book? What'd you learn about yourself?

Oh, boy. Well, I mean, you already know this in life, right? That one thing leads to another. To another. But when I sat down and I was writing my life story, you know, I got Curb youb Enthusiasm. I got that audition. I booked the part. It became a series. Through Larry David. I met Bobby Kennedy. Through Bobby Kennedy. Now I have seven kids. And it's all of these little moments that when you're living, you're not thinking, this moment is gonna change my life, but those little moments change your life. And then when you sit back and you look at it all, it's pretty amazing. It's pretty amazing, right? And it's also a good lesson to say yes to everything that comes your way and to people that come your way, because you don't know if that person is going to be the person that changes your life that shapes you, that moment. And it might be a small, tiny moment that changes you or shapes you. So I. It was an interesting journey just watching those little moments and how they made everything happen.

Yeah. So, well, I'm going to stay to the script then. I'm going to go off script on some of these. So when did you realize that playing it safe was more dangerous than failing publicly?

I learned very early because I. I didn't grow up with much. You know, when I was young, I'm from Florida, and I was in the free lunch line at school. I bought my prom dress at Goodwill. So I didn't really. I didn't have material things. So it was good. It was a good lesson in life because I really felt like I had nothing to lose, so. Only things to gain. And even though we didn't have much as far as money went. We had a great family. And so I knew the only way to really, you know, make something happen in my life would be to take risks.

You were recently on the View. I watched that. I watched your interview with Tucker Carlson. And, you know, I tried to think of, like, I want to ask Cheryl things that someone's not asked for before. And then also I want people to really know who you are. And I want you to really read the book and get an understanding of Cheryl, because I have some, not just some, some plans with this. So you've been in rooms most people will never enter, from Hollywood sets to White House dinners. When you met Donald and Melania Trump, what struck you most personally about meeting them and being in that situation?

Because, well, I met President Trump before I met Melania, and I do talk about it in my book. At the time, it was a very, at the time, it was a very stressful moment for me because Bobby was running as an independent. He was running for president. President Trump had just had an assassination attempt on his life that Saturday, and then I met him that Monday morning. So he was meeting with Bobby because they wanted to see if they connected and if they had similar goals and if it seemed like they should work together or not. So it was very interesting meeting. It was me and Bobby, President Trump, Susie Wiles, who was, she's the chief of staff, the first female chief of staff, but was running his campaign at the time, and very impressive person. And Amaryllis Fox, who's my daughter in law, who was running Bobby's campaign. So I did a lot of listening, you know, but I found him to be very smart, personable, and at the same time happy to talk about. Let the conversation go to. We talked about the mamba snake and how long you had to live after you've been bitten by one. So it was a wild, interesting conversation.

So then what started happening with your relationship? Because as soon as Bobby started running, that's, I'm sure. I mean, the last five years have had to have been the craziest shit ever for you, right?

Pretty crazy shit.

Yes. So, I mean, so how did you psychologically process what was actually going on in your personal life with Bobby? And then the political stuff, then the alignment with Trump and then the reaction and responses from other people, much of which I, I can't even imagine. Had to be surprising, shocking, and just weird.

Yes, yes. To everything you just said. Well, I think we all feel times in our lives when something's happening and it's coming at you so quickly that you feel like, I just. I need a little more time. Can I just take. I need a little more time. You know, when you lose somebody, when you get news that completely changes your life, you know, which we all get. And I talk about in my story, and I just. There are times in my life when I felt like I just need a little. I need a little time. And oddly, the universe does not give it to you.

So.

The election was quite a learning process, right? Because there's an out. There's an out date. All of this stuff has to happen before November 5th. There's just such a circus. There's such a circus of people, of stories, you know, newscasters, journalists, people that are programming the online bots. You start to learn about buzzwords that they plant that if, you know, if somebody says this in their article, it's going to trigger this kind of response. And it's all happening so fast.

I mean, I'm just on the peripheral of this stuff. I never liked politics. I didn't want to get involved in it. And it became a point where I'm like, well, you know, there are certain things happening in the world that if I don't say something about it, I just don't internally feel right. And it's so much show business and people that have all these opinions, for one, they're not part of the solution, they're just part of the problem. They're a bunch of barking dogs that just want to oftentimes complain about stuff. And like you've said, there are people that have really difficult jobs and they work really hard, and a lot of them are doing really good things. And, yeah, there's snakes and there's all kinds of people that are posturing in, positioning and have their agenda and all that. I mean, it's a mixed bag, like it is in almost every industry. But these. A lot of the people that just come at you like that, they have no context of anything. And it's like, try to trade places for 10 minutes and see. See how you handle this.

Right, right. That. That. You're exactly right. So you have people who, like, what are they called? Armchair quarterbacks. Yes.

Yeah.

You know, the guy that's sitting there watching the super bowl, it's like, I would have thrown the long pass. That guy would have caught it. We would have won the Super Bowl. And it's like, you haven't gotten up out of your seat for. For three hours. Like, you have the same people in politics saying that.

Right.

You know, somebody Who?

And the media supports it all. Not all of it, but a lot.

Right, right. It's a circus. So, yeah, you have to always consider the source. You're right. Some people like to be outraged because it makes them feel like they're doing something. So even someone coming up to me telling me to tell my husband to drop out of the race, I don't know, maybe they went home that day and said, I accomplished something today. I let her have it so she can let him have it and he's going to drop out. It's like, I don't think they ever thought that he would drop out because you told me to tell him to drop out. But somehow it makes somebody feel better to be outraged and to let you know that they disapprove of something.

Right, right. Well, you know, it makes me think both you and Bobby have incredible perseverance in order to take on that sort of job. But even your life, which you described here, is tons of perseverance. I mean, where did that come from? Was it your parents? Did you just develop it? Was it desperation of being broke? Was it just because you, you didn't really give up? I mean, you just kept at it and finally develop great success?

Well, I was very. I. Fortunately, I knew early on that I wanted to be an actor. That's all I ever wanted.

Were you like five years older when it, when did it first come to you?

Yeah, it was probably like eight, you know, and I don't know why, I don't know how. My dad used to always say, I don't know why you thought you could do this, but you sure did it. I was like, thanks, dad. But you know, it's sort of like we never told you you should be an actor. So I was born with that desire. And then when I moved to Los Angeles, I just, that's all I wanted to do. So at one point I thought, it's going to be okay if I die alone in my one bedroom rent controlled apartment, like trying out for the community theater because I'm an actress and that's all I've wanted to do. So I was always very focused with that and then always surrounded myself with people that I really love and found happiness in the people that I love. So I wasn't, you know, it's easier to say this than to actually do it because there were definitely times when I didn't do this, but would have to remind myself to find happiness where I am. I couldn't wait to be happy until I got that show because what if I never got the show. You know, I really wanted to be able to pay my bills by being an actor. I thought that would bring me happiness, which it did, actually. But while I was a bartender, I was still happy. You know, I had friends and I had crazy adventures as a bartender in downtown LA and was able to look, you know, when the moments are happening, when the good moments are happening or crazy moments are happening, to be able to take it in and say, ooh, I have to remember this. Cause this is good. This is making my life good.

There are people that constantly are looking for the next idea, the next idea, and you can hear the them and just act on it. But some people, they're in the idea consumption thing, not the, like, let's take action and just go open the door where someone pointed. Here's a door that could lead you to where you want to go. And they don't do it.

No, you're right. It's like, okay, that's good, but what else? It's like, oh, I just gave you my best. I just gave you my best idea. Why don't you try that one first? No, but that's probably not going to work or whatever, but yet you're right. It's like, listen to that one and explore it.

And see, that leads to just a question of how did you learn to dance with rejection? Because improv is literally putting yourself out there every time to see what happens. I mean, that builds resilience, that, as Chris Voss says, you got to do the reps. If you want to be good at negotiation, you got to do the reps. So you're doing reps every day, and every successful person here in the room where they have success, they're doing the reps. And you. You put yourself in a position to do that. And that's kind of. So I wanted to. How. How did you do that? And then I want to ask, how do you use it today? Because now you're thrust in a whole nother sort of form of improv.

Right? Well, so in improv, you know, there's no script. Curb youb Enthusiasm was improvised. The dialogue on the show was improvised. So when you're doing improv and you're two people, two actors are on a stage, and you get a suggestion from the audience. Where are these people that the car washed? Lights go down, lights go up. And now we're doing a scene about the car wash. You have to. You don't have time to judge yourself, so you have to trust your instincts first and foremost. So when the Lights come up. I have to make a decision. You know, hey, Dad, I just called you dad. Now you're my dad in the scene, right? So I didn't have time to think about, oh, this scene is not going to be good. If he's my dad, where do we go? But you have to trust your instincts and know that you are going to say something that's not funny, that's not interesting. And you'll have a moment after that. That will be good. That will be funny. That will be interesting. So in an improv, you cannot keep, you know, you don't have time to process. Ooh, that wasn't good. Oh, that was actually good. Oh, that's not good. You don't have time. You only have time to connect with the person that you're improvising with. And this is true in life, right? If you're talking to someone, you have a meeting with someone. You only have that moment with them. And so that's the most important moment that's happening. So you look at them, you listen to them, and you don't judge it. You just take it and let it guide you.

And it wasn't until a few months ago when we were in the White House and I went up and started talking with you, and we had a conversation before they had to start the. That was the Maha report meeting. And I walked away like going, wow, you are a genuinely really lovely person. And everyone always says that about you. That I've spoken with it, but I never really had a chance to tell me more. Yeah. And by the way, I'm gonna talk about what people don't like about you. No, I'm kidding.

Here's a char. Go through it.

Well, it's funny because you really people. You leave a really good impression. So my question is, how do you do that? How would you recommend that people approach someone to be likable? Because you have a reputation for that. You're not one of these actors or actresses that people are like, oh, yeah, they kind of dis me. And I can't even imagine how difficult it is when people are constantly coming up. I mean, you're having to navigate all kinds of things from people that may have watched you for years. I mean, Curve youe enthusiasm was on for 24 years, right? So there's people that have. You're gonna see for two seconds that have watched hours of you. Right. So how do you create that impression? And could you share in a way that would help everyone here to just help become more connected with others?

I think it's being genuine. And once again, that sounds sort of, you know, who cares? Like, you can say that all day, but.

It'S.

If you take away, like, the first few layers. Right? So if I'm just meeting you, the first few layers would be, hey, how's it going? Or what's going on? You're having a good time tonight, like, nobody gives a shit. But if I'm meeting you and I'm taking you in for a second and I only have 30 seconds to talk to you, I'd be like, oh, my gosh, you have the best socks in the room.

I'm glad you like the. What's in it for them? Yeah, this.

Yeah. So what are your socks about? You know, I. I like to find just something in the other person that speaks to me.

I was talking with this author years ago, Po Bronson, in a bookstore, and our conversation was about, what do people want? And he said, people want more woo and less. Ah. You know, And I was like, that's interesting, because we all want more woo and less. Ah.

What does that mean?

Well, excitement or joy or sunshine or smiles or less pain. I look at it as more. You know, so oftentimes people get their woo through violence, through dopamine, like a. Like a hit charge. You know, if you're gonna watch porn, if you're gonna drink alcohol, if you're gonna smoke, you know, whatever negative or positive people are looking for certain things. So if you're getting all your woo through violence or through the consumption of things that sort of hijack the brain. I mean, I remember when 9, 11 happened shortly there. I mean, I think everyone that remembers. And a couple weeks after that, I heard someone say they didn't just hijack airplanes, they hijacked American media. And I was like, that's a very interesting statement. Never realizing what we've just been through with the pandemic and all the propaganda and everything to this day, how much the brains of people have been hijacked. And so pursuing healthy woo versus negative is important. And when you leave a good impression on someone because a lot of people just have so much pain in their life, and if you could just add a little smile, I often try to do it with crude jokes or slightly inappropriate or very inappropriate things. And dabs. Once she said, you know what you do, Joe? You charm and disarm people. And I was like, you know, I tried. Yeah, I try to charm and disarm people. I'm not always the best at it. Sometimes I do a lousy job. But if I could just, you know, when people put more woo in my life than ah, I tend to gravitate towards those people I like. You know, I write about in my book where look at the next 5 to 10 either text messages, phone calls, DM. However people are communicating with you and do you feel woo when you see their name or do you feel ah. And then I'll warn people, like, if you owe them money, that doesn't mean they're the asshole. That means you probably need to pay them back the money. But there are times where it's like, who in your life excites you and who ward you off? And I'll tell you, that's energy. And I think that is sort of a bit of your formula is you exude a certain level of energy. If it's fake, you can get, you know, flattery works, but it's superficial. If you have consistency with it though, it's pretty powerful to learn how to harness that energy. And you wouldn't have built your. It's kind of fun. I'm not going to give away the story, but it has to do with a skit about drinking your own urine. And you can read the book if you're curious about that. Seriously.

They're not.

It's funny, but the thing is that you've learned how to kind of manage. Manage the energy. And I think your happiness and your joy has everything to do with how you internalize it and what you give out to people and what you allow to take in.

So I appreciate that. I really appreciate that. And it's funny you're talking about owing people money because even that, my friend and I have a pact with each other if we ever owe each other money, because it's worse to have to ask somebody to pay you back.

Yeah.

But then that person might have forgotten. So we have. When one of us owes the other money, let's say you borrowed money from me and you forgot to pay me back. I might out of the blue say, hey, did you hook up with Jennifer Lopez? And you'd be like, oh my God, I owe you $50. Sorry. So you never know who the person's gonna be. It' how are things going with you and George Clooney? And it's like, ah, yeah, I will. I'm venmoing you right now. So. So it's, it's, you know, once again, you're. If you're looking at your phone, even if your friend is saying, hey, can you pay me back the money you you borrowed? It's a Fun way. Because it's like, I don't know who they're going to say. I mean, did you ever sleep with Phyllis Diller? Oh, yeah. I owe you 1,000. Okay.

That'S awesome.

But it's, you know, it's the way you approach everything.

Right. And also when I look at and I do a gut check, like, why does this person give me ah versus woo and the people in the. What I refer to it as is be the type of person you would always answer the phone for.

Yeah.

And so there are certain people I would always want to answer the phone for because they represent value or they're a giver or they're funny or whatever. Whatever they do in my life that makes me want to answer the phone for where those are traits that I can either model or learn or figure out why then I can make the decision. I call it elf. Who in my life is easy, lucrative and fun versus half hard, annoying, lame and frustrating?

It's like my mom says, I'm going.

To send you some elves for Christmas.

My mom always says, I'm just going to pad it. Do you know what pipe means? Play it by ear. But if you don't know that and she just says, I'm gonna pipe it, it's really hard to know what she's talking about. And people will say, I don't know what that means. It's like, I'm just gonna pibe it. Don't worry. But just now I'm gonna say, you're my elf.

I love it. Yeah, well, anything to help perpetuate that would make my low self esteem get a little bit higher. So that'll be. So let me. Okay, so let me ask you this. So being married to Bobby Kennedy Jr. Put you in a different kind of spotlight. What has it taught you about strength, loyalty, or grace? Because now when you have tens of thousands of people giving their opinions of your husband that you're married to, when you probably first got married, did not think that would ever happen. What has that done for your strength, loyalty and grace?

That's a very good question because you're right. When we got married over 10 years ago, it was, you know, it was not a big deal. I didn't have people coming up to me telling me to leave my husband. And now I do, which is odd. Can you imagine just being at the grocery store and someone's like, leave your husband? Are you talking to me? I'm just trying to buy a cantaloupe. Relax. But you know it.

That's a great line. For everything. I'm just trying to buy a cantaloupe. Relax.

We're gonna have so many T shirts for you to buy at the end.

Of this.

You know. Strength, Yes. I have had to. I've had to have strength in places in my life where I never thought I would have to. I understand having to find strength when you lose someone. Someone close to you dies, when you're having a financial struggle. I understand that. That kind of strength and having to dig, Dig deep within yourself to get through it. But to have to find a strength to block out, to block out other people was new for me because I had been on Curb, I'd been in comedy, and that wasn't really part of my life, having to block people out.

Right.

And I wasn't. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be in that position. But I learned that, yes, there's a strength that comes that you have to have. Like you're saying today with the media, with social media, with. People can post whatever they want whenever they want, and it doesn't have to be true. That's also odd. But it's the truth. So I had to find a different strength to be able to do that, to be able to. To shut down the noise of the people that don't matter and at the same time, keep the people that do matter close.

Right. Do you find yourself more encouraged or discouraged where things are at right now from your perception of the worldview? Like, do you. Are you more encouraged? Are you kind of like, is there a sense of sadness and discouragement with what you have seen?

You mean with life in general?

Yeah. Like your perspective. Has this made your life more difficult? Or have you found a deeper sense of conviction to happiness and source or whatever you connect with?

You know, I. I find happiness in learning something new. And I didn't know this was going to be my experience. Right. Because when Bobby said he was running for president, I was not like, yahoo, I can't wait for that. I knew that my life was going to change. Our lives would change. I knew that they would. They were going to change, but I couldn't imagine how. But at that time in my life, I. I felt like, I don't think I'm. I don't really want my life to change. Like, my life is. Is good. Let's cap it. Let's cap it at this. But that was not the case. Right. And. And then in the last few years, I've just learned. I. I've really learned a lot about running for president. If Anybody wants to hire me in their campaign next cycle. I've learned about politics, I've learned about people. I've learned about what true friends mean and what second tier friends look like. And now being in D.C. and like you're saying, going to the White House, I will be, you know, sitting at a conference table with people I could never have imagined that I would be sitting with, talking about things I would have never imagined I'd be talking about, but world changing issues. And I'm around people that are, they are making decisions that affect a lot of people's lives every day. And you can feel that energy, just like I'm sure you could when you were there. So to be having dinner with Marco Rubio and, you know, meeting these people that I never would have met under any other circumstances, I would have never met, met them, it's pretty amazing. And there's a joy in it for me because I'm doing it with Bobby.

Right.

So, you know, Bobby and I, we have a lot of fun together. And even, even when we're in serious situations, you know, we can give each other the eye. Like, this is crazy. Yeah, this is crazy. And we're on the same page. We can enjoy that moment. And we were talking about Bobby a few minutes ago because you said he's pretty serious, which he is, but there's another side to him that actually you'll read about in the book. But he's funny. The other day, he had just left for work. I was trying to find my phone. I couldn't find my phone and I had somebody else call it. And he answered my phone and I said, bobby, you have my phone. And he said, what makes you say that? I said, oh, my God. Okay, you've got to bring my phone back. But he's funny and he's fast and he's funny and I love every minute with him.

It's awesome. No, who's funnier? Him or Larry David?

Him or Larry Davis? They're so these two are very different.

Yeah. Has Bobby got any neurotic behaviors like Larry does?

I wouldn't say neurotic, but odd behaviors. Yes. Which I also talk about in the book because, for instance, our house in la, Bobby loves animals. He trained these wild ravens to come, and he'll hold out food and they'll come and eat out of his hand, but he sits very still and quiet. And this took months and months. And for some reason, he's always shirtless when he does it. And he. And he calls them like, caw, caw. Well, I'm watching outside of the window of a shirtless Bobby sitting perfectly still with little blobs of meat lined up, going. And I'm like, okay, that's.

I mean, you're pretty good at this, too.

Well, when he was out of town, he would beg me to feed the ravens. And I'm like, I would get some old fruit in my ratty bath robe, and I go out there. I could not bring myself to cacao caca, but I would let them know I was there. And I'll walk around. You can see them in the trees. And I know they see me. And they see me put out the, you know, blueberries or strawberries or whatever I had. And then I'd sit in my bathrobe, very still, until they came, and then would take pictures of them to show Bobby. And he'd be like, thank you. But, yeah, so that is. That. Would you say that's neurotic?

No. I mean, no, honestly. I mean, I think today because of how life has become so disconnected with nature, most many people would find that weird. But actually, I think I find Bobby to be an extremely connected person. And I think. And I'd love for you to tell me otherwise, and I've met quite a few politicians at this point, and he is the only one that I've met at that level that I don't think is at all narcissistic and sacrifices for what he believes in. And I think because of 42 years of recovery work, he's been going. I mean, you can't sit in that many 12 step meetings and help other people while you're wanting to help yourself with the condition of addiction and not have that hone you into a very caring person. And I think the fact that you're married to him and you guys have that says everything about both of you. And most people won't do that work. And for someone to hear about it, you have no idea. But to go. I mean, on this stage, I mean, he even said, you know, I meditate every day. I work out every day. I go to a 12 step meeting every day. And he's a busy guy.

Yeah.

I mean, he's a very. And when he goes, he has to take security and he has. You know, it's not just that easy. I mean, he's globally recognizable. Right. But to be able to have that commitment. So I don't think it's neurotic. I mean, I think to most people, it's hard for me to imagine doing that, but that's pretty freaking cool.

Yeah.

I think he's found nature in animals is what he's fought for his whole life, too.

Yes. Yes. He. You're right. He. He has a discipline about him that I don't have. Like, I'm not going to the gym every day. But he does. He. That he does have a routine, and that's what he does. And it's part of who he is, and it's part of, you know, doing the work as a person and showing up for other people.

I swear, if like 5% of the government around the world modeled the behavior he has, it'd be a completely different world. Completely.

Well, that's why it's really. I'm very proud of him. I'm proud of what he's accomplishing, and I'm glad he's doing it. You know, there was a day when I was like, oh, I don't know if this is. I don't know if I'm going to be glad you're doing this. But I am glad he's doing it because he spent his career standing up to corporations, especially. He was an environmental attorney suing big corporations. You know, Monsanto for Roundup because it was causing cancer in people, suing oil companies because it was. There were harmful things in water supplies. So he has spent his life sticking up, standing up to these big corporations, and now he's in politics, and that doesn't usually happen. It's hard to stand up to big corporations in politics because I don't have to tell you, you know why. But to see him do it and to see administration do it, it's pretty great. Really amazing to see.

No, totally. So here's this question. When you sit in silence, no cameras, no laughter, what does your inner voice sound like? Comes the guy from Winterhaven, of course. Must be a Winter Haven fan. Yeah.

What if it's your voice here? You say my thoughts for a second. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. That's what my inner voice sounds like. Oh, my goodness. What do my inner. You know, I. When you're talking about energy, I feel like I have. I mean, I don't know if this is going to be easy to follow, but I feel like I think more in energy than in actual words. Right, right. So if I'm sitting here, I'm feeling an energy. Like I can feel energy from different people in this room, and I want to. To take it in more than, oh, I'm sitting in a room full of people that are dressed nice, that are listening. So it's. It's more of a. I Want to remember this energy or change the energy. That's another thing, too, that people should be aware of, that you can do. And people do it in an improv. The improv isn't going well. Two people sitting, talking about their relationship. If I got up and walked across the room, I just changed the energy of the scene of what was going on here. Now something different is happening. And you can do that in real life. You know, if you're talking to someone and it's not going well or there needs to be a change, you can get up, you can walk across, you can shake your hair out, you can. Whatever that looks like. That would be great if you're just, like doing comedy bits about your long hair. But, yeah, I think. I think more. I think more in energy.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, like the. I think almost all of life, I never would have thought this if I, you know, 10 years ago, what I'm about to say, I would have thought would be a silly thing to say. It's not time management, it's energy management. When things are working and feeling good, you're connected with energy. And energy also means you. It's not just what you do and what you say and how you look, it's what's going on internally. So if you're sleep deprived, you know, in 12 steps, they call it a halt state. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, where they say, don't make decisions if you're in a halt state. If you're hungry, you're angry, you're lonely or tired, you're probably going to make some bad decisions. But that's managing energy. And so you have to. How do you best take care of yourself in ways that maybe you didn't in the past?

Hmm. Well, I am more in touch with my anger, which actually is healthier than keeping something in, I think for a long time in my life, and probably a lot of moms, probably dads, too, but, you know, you, you. I didn't really. I didn't really want my kids to see me angry. I don't want them to see me sad. I. So sometimes I would, you know, pencil it in when I have time, I'm going to sit down and be angry about this thing that just happened. It's not healthy. It's that you never really, by the way, you never pencil it. You're never sitting down so you can have some moments alone to be mad. So for me, it's been healthier for me to be able to say to somebody what you're saying upsets Me, and I'm really angry about it. I mean, I couldn't do that 20 years ago.

Yeah, well, you know what's interesting about what you just said about anger? So I'll try to do this real quickly. There's a guy that I used to be in chronic physical pain almost my whole adult life. And according to scans, herniated discs in my neck, in my back. And I used to have chronic pain when I was a dead broke carpet cleaner, I used to do journaling every day. And I forgot about it. And I went back and I read these old journals and I would always write almost daily how much my back hurt, how much my neck hurt. And I had no memory of that. And I'd gotten to this point where the pain was so severe it was moving to different parts of my body and stuff, and I could not for the life of me figure it out. And I ended up tracking down this guy named Steve Ozanich who wrote a book called the Great Pain Deception based on the work of Dr. John Sarno, who I believe is probably the smartest pain doctor ever in the last hundred years. And Steve wrote this took 10 years to write, the most exhaustive research on the elimination of pain. And what he identified was John Sarno. And what Steve writes about in the Great Pain Deception is that the cause of most pain is not structural, it's psychological. Even though there are breaks, there are tears, there are injuries. But the majority of pain is repressed emotions that causes oxygen deprivation in the muscles, tendons and ligaments brought on by repressed emotions, predominantly anger and rage. And some of the people that experience the most physical pain are mothers because they are now having to take care of kids and they love their children and they don't feel it on a conscious level, they repress it. And when they repress it, they have a lot of physical pain. And that people that tend to have the most physical pain are actually nice people, like narcissists and people that are assholes don't have pain free.

They're walking around without a care in the world.

Yeah, it's really weird. It's really weird.

I believe that actually makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. So I've. And literally I had a conversation with him in 2014, and it's pain that was chronic. Within two weeks, it was 95% gone. And the only time it ever comes back is when I have something really stressful in my life. And so pain to me is a messenger. It's like, what do you do with the pain, how do you transmute it? How do you direct it? Now, the reason I bring this up is I think that is sort of a blueprint of what your book is about. So let me ask you this question. Where is it you shared real loss and grief in your book? What did that teach you about love and what truly matters?

Well. Well, you know, I think anybody who's experienced loss, losing somebody really close to you in your life. I lost my brother. There are. You'll read about it. But there's such a. There's such a sadness that comes with that loss. And it feels like you just lost love. And it almost feels like a panic, because that's the love that I wanted. And then as time goes by, you understand that the love isn't lost, but it's just different. You know, he's not here, but the love is still here. And you learn to carry it with you, carry the loss with you, carry the grief with you, because you don't get over it. But, you know, you look around and you see. You see people and you know that they've lost someone in their lives and they're still here. People have strength within them to figure out how to move forward. And that's been hard to do. It's hard to do in the moment, you know. And, you know, I've had moments where I felt like I'm not going to make it through this moment or I don't want to make it through this moment. So, yeah, I think it's giving yourself time to think about that person and the love that you have for that person and how you're going to honor them in your life.

Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you. So it's rare that I have an opportunity to have the author of a book that has not even come out yet, and you're the very first ones to get a copy of the book and you're going to be sent off with a copy of the book and to ask you what do you hope that they get out of it? And if you were to give instructions on how to interact with your book unscripted, as weird as that sounds, it actually sounds dirty. Yeah, it does. Well, you know, that's one option, too. That's one option, too.

Picture section.

What do you hope that people get out of the book? You wrote it. What were. What were the reasons behind it?

Well, number one, I think I want people to have fun reading it because there are some crazy stuff has happened in my life, which is fun to hear about, I think. And then you know, I was really compelled to write this because of the last few years in my life. I mean, even, you know, even going from Winter Haven, Florida, to Los Angeles to, you know, walking the red carpet on the Emmys and this and that, it's, like, amazing. I could, you know, I'm up on stage at the Golden Globes. Who could. That alone is an interesting story. So then when you have. I was just talking to Dr. Drew because he read the book and he said, there are moments in my book where I say, oh, my gosh, I cannot believe this is happening. And he said, but the time you didn't say that is when you married a Kennedy. I said, well, that goes to show you that wasn't the craziest thing that happened in my life. But. But I think I quote Oscar Wilde because his quote on the very essence of romance is uncertainty. And it's about being in a good place. When you're in that uncertainty, it's hard to do, but you're in a space where. I don't know. I cannot tell you how this is going to end. I cannot tell you what's going to happen tomorrow. So, you know, show business, there's a lot of that. That's what you sign up for. You don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but it's. You can guess. It's probably going to. Probably going to shoot a show. Somebody's going to storm off the set because they're mad that they didn't get the lunch they wanted or whatever that looks like. And then, you know, when Bobby said he was going to run for president, that was uncertainty in a, you know, times a million. I didn't know anything about politics, really, other than turning on the news. So I didn't know how that election would end. I definitely could not have written the script that Bobby would be in President Trump's cabinet or that, you know, I'm hanging out talking to Melania on a Friday night. Like, I couldn't have written any of this.

Yeah. Like, that would have been the most astronomical bet ever in the world. If you would have been asking three years ago.

Three years ago, where will you be? I'm going to be talking to Joe. I'm going to tell him this story. But, yeah, so. So the idea of the book, too, is embrace uncertainty, because it's going to be okay. And if you do it right, it might be great.

Awesome. Is there anything that I did not ask you or anything that you would like to share that we did not cover? That you think would be important.

I feel like we covered a lot.

No, we did.

No, I think you did a really beautiful job interviewing me. I appreciate it.

Thank you. Thank you. And can we shoot a selfie? First off, did you guys enjoy show? Okay, so can we shoot a selfie video for Bobby? And I'm gonna ask everyone what you thought of the interview with Cheryl. Let's do this.

It's really putting you guys on the spot.

Yeah.

If you didn't like it, just fake it. It's just Bobby. I don't want him to.

You know what's great about Bobby? If someone. If he mentions it's someone's birthday, Bobby, like, grab your phone and do a selfie. Oh, I know, but he does that. He's great like that.

Oh, I know.

Like, he's always grabbing. Like he's grabbed my phone several times to shoot a selfie.

He really likes people. It's very sweet. He connects with people.

Let's see if we can get both of us. Okay. Bobby here with Cheryl, you know, your wife.

Hi, honey.

And we're talking about her book unscripted to the genius network member audience. And guys, what did you guys and gals, what did you think of Cheryl?

Okay. Aw, you guys.

Awesome. Thank you. Well, look at that.

That's so nice. Yeah, that's so nice.

Thank you. Love you.

Love you, honey. Bye.

So good. So good. So I am a bad person. Because I thought there would be time for questions, but there isn't. So I've got a. Unfortunately, I can't.

You are a bad person. That's why we brought you here. This is an intervention.

It is literally. I was saying that with Jefferson and Chris earlier. Here's. I will say, though, Cheryl will be at the 100k dinner tonight. So those of you meet her would snap some pictures, all that sort of stuff. You are a lovely human. Really appreciate you coming out here. Thank you. And read her book and review it. Cheryl Hines.

Thanks, guys. Thank you so much.

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