Reprogram Your Brain to Achieve Any Goal with John Assaraf

We know how to achieve health, wealth relations, career and business goals more today than at any other point in our history. So if that's the truth, then the question comes back to what you said. Well, why don't people reach more of their potential?

Hi, friends. Hope you are well. I'm feeling very upbeat after having some time away on vacation with my family in kind of the 30 degree heat, which was absolutely lovely until we kind of landed back in the UK to the rain. But I'm hoping that spring is on its way somewhere soon. But I have something to cheer you up today and to help you turn your goals into reality, because today I am chatting to the amazing John Assaraf, who is a behavioral neuroscience researcher. He's also an incredibly successful entrepreneur. Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard or seen John asraf featured on TV. He's been in 11 different movies, including the blockbuster hit the Secret and Quest for Success with Richard Branson and the Dalai Lama. He's the author of four books, including two New York Times bestsellers that have been translated into 35 languages. And he's the creator of the Inner Size movement and he's going to show us how to train our brain today in this episode. I really enjoyed chatting to John. I learned a ton and I think you will too with so without further delay, let me introduce you now to the lovely John Assaraf.

I'm here today with John Asaraf. I'm really excited to have you on the show, John. First of all, a very warm welcome.

Thank you, Angela. It's so great to be with you.

It's really amazing. You've been such an inspiration to me when I've been making that transition over the last five or six years from corporate lawyer turned entrepreneur. And yeah, it's just really inspiring the work you do and how you really help people kind of unlock the hidden power of their brain and achieve their goals. I guess my first question to you would be, what do you think is the main obstacle that's holding so many people back from really achieving their best lives?

Well, I think I can sum it up in one word, but it's going to have some, some depth to it. So the number one thing is ignorance. Now when I use the word ignorance, you know, some people think, you know, I'm saying stupidity, but ignorance just means not knowing. And so the question is, what is it that you don't know or believe to be true that really isn't? So when we think about behavior, first question I ask is if we think about, you know, it's 20, 23 right now. You know, mankind in one species, species or another has been around, you know, earth for about 200,000 years. And so we've learned a lot about what we do, why we do it, why we don't do the things we know we should do. But one of the things that we've really started to discover, let's say in the last 20 years, is a little bit more of how does our brain work? And we all have a brain, hopefully, right? Structurally, it's the same. Functionally, it's the same. And so if we have this brain that we, we believe is worth at least a hundred billion dollars, which sounds crazy, but it's. We can't even replicate it for $100 billion. Is it possible that we just haven't learned how to use our brains better? And we've become conditioned and we've become hypnotized, you know, by what society expects us to achieve, what the career that we've chosen, what ethnicity we are, what, you know, whether we're male or female. And the question that I ask people is, do you believe that, you know, you have incredible potential? Most people say, yeah, I believe that. And then I say, well, why aren't you achieving more of your potential? And most people go, I don't know. But the answer does exist, right? We know how to get healthier and stay healthier. We know how to make 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 20 times more money. We know how to be in a healthier, better relationship. We know how to have more spiritual connectivity. We know how to achieve health, wealth, relationships, career and business goals, more today than at any other point in our history. So if that's the truth, then the question comes back to what you said. Well, why don't people reach more of their potential? Why don't they achieve their fullest potential? And it's really going to boil down to only one of four things.

Number one is they lack the knowledge and skills, right? So I don't know how to go from here to there. I just don't have the knowledge and skills. Okay, great. Right now, as we're speaking, there's an entire revolution happening in the world with artificial intelligence and the most powerful supercomputers we have ever had available in the hands of every human being on their phone or computer. Would you agree with that?

Yeah, absolutely.

So I can go to, let's say, chat, GPT or Bing, and I could type in any question I want. And all the information that has ever been gathered on that topic is available to me, to you, the person who's watching for free. And I can ask it any question I want. And it'll give me the answer, it'll give me the process, it'll give me the system, it'll give me the resources, give me the tools that I need right now to eliminate my ignorance. So we cannot use I don't know anymore as an excuse. It's gone. Now. Let's go to another area.

When you and I were born, and everybody that's watching or listening, you know, was born, you know, let's see if we can get some. Some fundamental agreements together. We were born with some incredible potential. Yes or no?

Yeah, absolutely right.

Were. Was there any human being ever. There's been 105 billion humans who've walked planet Earth so far. Has any human being ever been born with one belief about themselves, about their potential, about whether they're good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, whether. Was there any belief wired into the human brain?

No.

Unless we look at maybe like some epigenetic tasks. Right, but there's no beliefs as such condition. Yeah, absolutely.

Was. Was any human ever born with a fear, A fear of airplanes, a fear of driving, you know, a fear of failing, a fear of succeeding and failing, A fear of being embarrassed or ashamed or ridiculed or judged or rejected or unloved? Was any human being ever born with any of those? And the answer is no. Was any human being born ever with a self image of herself.

Self worth, self esteem? The answer is no, no, no and no. So then the question becomes, is it possible that what I learned to believe, with all of the evidence that I have to support it drives some of my thinking, drives some of my emotions, drive my behavior? The answer is yes. Does my self image of myself, my identity, determine what I believe I deserve? Does it determine what I will do or not do? Of course. If I'm afraid of failing and you're not, will that change our behaviors based on my fear? Of course. So there's four things that really hold us back. One is lack of knowledge and skills. We've taken that off the table. Okay, now you can bridge the gap between what you don't know and what you need to know and what you need to do in. In literally minutes. Then number two is, what if I have beliefs that are limiting me? What is a belief in the human brain? Like, what is it? Let's go underneath the surface, right? Everybody wants to tell the time, but nobody wants to understand how the little watch works. But let's go into understanding how the little watch works. And so belief is nothing more than a pattern that was created and reinforced over time, starting in child, you know, childhood. And then those patterns got reinforced regardless of whether they were true, regardless of whether they were empowering, regardless of whether they were destructive, regardless of whether they were constructive, regardless of whether they're positive or negative. It doesn't make a difference. The brain is agnostic to truth or fiction.

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So anything that I learned to believe became reinforced. Anything became reinforced. I automatically see and think and feel and behave in alignment with what I believe. Some of what I believe is empowering, constructive and positive. Some of what I Believe is disempowering, destructive and negative. So if I want to have more empowering, constructive beliefs, can I deliberately and consciously activate and create a new belief system neurodes in my own brain? Yes, that's the evolution that we're at right now. I can deliberately and consciously refire to rewire my brain. Part one, part two, the image I have of myself, my self worth, my self esteem, my self confidence, my certainty. Isn't that also a pattern that's been reinforced from my parents, my teachers, my school, my education, my brothers, my sisters, my friends, society, television, radio, Internet? Isn't my self image of myself just a neural pattern that was created from the time I was born until now and then it was reinforced over and over and over again? Well, can I alter my self image of myself? Can I upgrade my identity? I want to give you an example. Imagine for just a moment that somebody in, in Bollywood or Hollywood, you know, is let's say in the UK looking for talent. And you know, the person you that's watching right now or, or listening right now is sitting in a little coffee shop and they feel a tap on their shoulder and it's one of their favorite actors or actresses. And the actor, actress says to me hey listen, I've been watching you from the other table over there and I'm reading this script, you know, for a movie that I'm going to star in and I think there's a five minute role for you in this movie. Would you be willing to look at this script that you've never seen before and if you like it, I'll pay you $1 million to act it for five minutes. And let's say you go oh my God, you want me to pretend that I'm this role? Well what's it about? And you get excited and you get curious and you realize oh my God, I don't know how to act. Like I've never taken acting lessons, like what am I supposed to do? And your favorite Hollywood or Bollywood actor actress says don't worry about that. Do you want to do it? We'll pay a million dollars, it might be an award there for you and we'll teach you everything you need in order to become so that when we film six months from now, you know, your five minute piece. What's the process? If you said yes to that role that you've never seen before? What would be the process to create the patterns that go from. It's difficult, it's hard. I'm a clumsy beginner, I don't know how to do this to six months from now, you being in front of a camera and you nailing and hitting that role out of the park, what would be the process of creating?

Well, do you know, this is super interesting because when you look at the best actors, they literally have become that person and it is becoming your future self, right? But a lot of people, I think, don't realize they can design this and step in.

So first, first, I'm clumsy beginner. I don't have any acting lessons. Am I supposed to speak really loudly or am I supposed to whisper? Am I supposed to be angry?

Like, what am I supposed to do for that role? So where am I going with this? Let's understand the brain, right? So let's say you agreed you're going to do the role. They give you €100,000 or pounds, you know, as your deposit for, you know, taking on the role. What would be your process.

For becoming the role? Would you read it once or twice?

Would you maybe read it until you memorized it? Would you maybe get your, you know, your phone out and record yourself? Would you maybe have your friends watch you? Would you maybe film yourself? Would you maybe rehearse it until what was conscious effort for you at first becomes, becomes unconscious competence? And as you practice and rehearse, you encode the new pattern. As you encode the new pattern, you store it. As you store it and becomes part of who you are. You can retrieve it like that, just like a song that you like that you don't need the script for. So there's a process of encoding, storing and retrieving. That is how the brain works. So is it possible that first you have to believe it in here before you will become it and see it out there?

So I can develop new beliefs using that process? I can develop a new self image, self worth and self esteem using that process. I became, or forgot you became a lawyer using that process. Initially made a decision, I kind of maybe want to be a lawyer. Practice, drill, rehearse. Practice, drill, rehearse. Practice, drill, rehearse. Until what was hard became effortless. So can I do that with my habits for success? Can I do that with my health, wealth, relationship? Of course I can. Now herein lies the problem.

Our brain is doing a few things in billionths of a second. Number one is it's looking out for our safety, which is great. Number two, it's moving away from any real or imagined pain or discomfort as the second highest priority of the brain. Number three, it's doing number one and two by Conserving energy before it focuses on gain or pleasure. I'm in a protective mode most of the time to avoid pain, discomfort, uncertainty, doubt, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of whatever. That's how my brain wants to react automatically because of the number one priority is survival of the species, survival of me. So there's a hierarchy, you know, to change. So now I say, okay, I need to gain new knowledge and skills. Oh my God. That's going to require energy. What if it takes too long? What if I fail? What, what if I'm embarrassed? What if I'm ashamed? What if I look like a clumsy beginner? What if, you know, people, you know, reject me? What if people blame me? What if people shame me? What if, what if, what if. Negative is how our brain operates for survival and safety. So I'm answering this in as deep of a way as I can. Just like, what holds people back? Self image, limiting beliefs and fears, and lack of knowledge or skills. All of which, all which are solvable today. Better, faster, easier than ever before because we know more about the mechanism that is happening within every human brain. So now that'll open up some dialogue for us. So sorry for going so deep, but, but it's important for everybody to say that there is a problem and there is a solution. For anybody who is committed, it's not available to anybody who's just interested.

Yeah, you've got to be committed. I'm really interested in this concept of self image. I did a program, sadly, before he passed away. He passed away towards the end of it. Bob Proctor, looking actually at this, a year's program. And part of that was creating your identity and your self image and reprogramming the bind. And it's incredibly powerful. I guess when people, as adults, I think a lot of people listening might struggle with this concept of how do I step into that version of me and how do I define it? I love the way you've compared it to like an actor in a movie. Because I think that when we look at that, that individual, we're so enraptured by that film, when that actor has literally become that personality. They've even gone to the gym and done extreme training protocols or changed their body composition so they look, they literally become that person. I guess my question for you would be for someone listening to this and they, they know where they want to go, they're going to have fears, right? Because I would say if you don't get, if your goals don't give you goosebumps, they're not Big enough, right. And part of that is the fear, and you've got to overcome it. But when they're looking at it and they're stepping in, in the back of their mind, is going to be that thing the whole time of like, can I really do it? Really? Is that for me? Like, can I be that good? How do they overcome those limiting beliefs that are kind of gnawing away and just surpass it and step into that person?

Sure. So. So it may be a belief that's limited to them, you know. You know, because I'm a male, I'm female, I'm this age or that age, I'm this color or that color. I live here or I live there. So the first part of all change has to be awareness, right? Awareness. So the question is awareness of what? Well, it's awareness of your thoughts, awareness of the emotions, awareness of your feelings, awareness of sensations, awareness of the behaviors you're taking or not taking. Awareness. Awareness of self sabotage. So awareness is what gives us choice. And first and foremost, everybody has negative thoughts. We have 6,200 thoughts a day. For most people, 80, 90% of them are negative because that's what they've been ruminating on for years upon years upon years. So that just becomes the norm. So first we want to be aware, and then we want to interrupt the negative, disempowering, destructive patterns. Now, what if I was able to be aware of thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, behaviors. But what if I also.

Recognize that whatever I'm aware of, I can do it in a state without judgment, without blame, without shame, without guilt or without justification, Just pure awareness of a pattern. Because anything that I'm aware of right now is actually a look at history.

Anything that I'm aware of right now is actually a look at history. Because emotions happen because of either an external stimuli or an internal stimuli. That activates neurochemistry, that causes a feeling. So if I'm just aware of the feeling, I can get a glimpse into what preceded the feeling. If I look at my results, I can get a glimpse of what were my behaviors. And I consider actions that I take or don't take are behaviors.

Not taking action is a behavior.

Ignoring what you should do.

Now. Now, if I just became aware and I accepted, I surrendered, and I allowed what was to be and what is to be. And then I asked myself a question. If my greatest power.

On top of thinking right is choice, can I, in the very moment right now, can I make a new choice that will empower me, that's constructive and they'll move me towards what I want to achieve, no matter how small. Can I make a choice right now that's constructive, positive and empowering to move me towards what I want and away from what I don't want? And the answer for everybody is yes, I can make a food choice right now. I could make a breathing choice right now. I can make an exercise choice right now. I can make a gratitude choice right now. I can make a behavioral choice right this moment. So if I can be aware and create a new habit of awareness plus choice is what gives me predictability of a future outcome.

Now I'm taking possibilities and now I am activating a probability mindset. And so earlier, before you know, we got on to the beginning of, you know, this, our session, you asked me about, you know, a few questions and, and how does somebody get started?

And the way you get started is you make small, easy to make choices that are empowering and constructive and you focus on building the right process that builds the initial foundation of positive, empowering, you know, peak performance thinking and emotional control and behaviors. Small little decisions build habits. Habits then can build themselves because the very nature of a habit is non thought.

So if I can focus on building a positive, constructive, empowering habit and not worry about the complexity or the intensity at first, if I can start to think positively, if I can start to think critically, if I can start to manage my emotions first so that I can master them later, if I start asking what are the behaviors that if I took right now just moves me one step closer to an optimal result that I want. Too many people are thinking about like the end result a year from now. And one of the things that I ask a lot of my students is this is. And I'll ask right here, we'd have a little bit of fun. I'm in pretty good shape. You look like you're in pretty good shape, Angela. And you know, for people who are watching or listening when I ask a question, if we asked you right now, can you jog slowly a marathon right now, non stop, you know, 40 kilometers or so, 26.2 miles, could you jog a marathon right now? Now I'm in really, really good shape. I cannot jog a marathon right now.

I would say I haven't trained endurance at this point, so I would expect not. I could probably do it, but it would hurt.

But here's the question that I ask you. Regardless of how much knowledge or skill you have about marathons, regardless of how much knowled skill you have right now around food Diet, exercise, rest, sleep, repair, recovery, Regardless of any of your knowledge or skills right now about running and doing a marathon, regardless of your beliefs right now, regardless of your habits right now, regardless of your self image right now, regardless of your fears, right now, regardless of all those, if we made a commitment together as a group to say, hey, let's agree that a year from today, a year, we are going to jog slowly, slowly, slowly, a marathon. Now we made that commitment. Here's the question. Could we start with a 30 second walk today? Could we learn what should I eat today for the exercise that I'm going to be doing? Could we learn how much sleep do I need? Could we learn the recovery? Could we learn how hard or easy to train? Could we learn how many days off I need? Could we learn everything we needed if we committed to running a marathon slowly a year from now? And if we started with one minute of walking and then we went to 3 minutes and 10 minutes and 20 minutes, here's what I can tell you. Every single person would make progress in 30 days. Would you agree with that?

Yeah.

And then would you agree that in 90 days we'll have a much better framework for food, diet, exercise, nutrition. Right. So 30 days from now we'd have, oh, wow, okay, I can do a minute a day. I'm actually getting excited because I'm feeling more energetic, I'm getting some momentum. And all we have to do is make the choice of we're going to jog a marathon a year from now. And then we come back to today and say, great. What do I need to do today? What are the one or two things I need to do today? What are the one or two things I need to do tomorrow? What are the one or two things I need to do consistently for one week? I don't have to focus on, you know, passing the finish line or raising my hands with everybody holding me afterwards. I don't have to. I can focus on that as a motivating factor. But then I come back to today and I reduce it to the ridiculously small. So I eliminate all cognitive load from.

The decision, which is key, right? Because otherwise it's over, potentially overwhelming.

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What's really interesting to me about that, because I know we were talking offline around the difference between how does someone we know, like you were saying, with things like ChatGPT, just all the resources that we have online, we know we can figure out that plan in this example for the marathon happen, right? We can figure out how to do it. We don't know exactly yet how it's going to apply to us. We know the really big dream that is I want to run a marathon. And then we know the micro steps we can take. Now when you say you don't have to know every single step because it will unfold, I think that's the key that I found, certainly from moving from a lawyer to moving into business, right? As a lawyer, it was very easy. I could look ahead and go, I want to become a partner, which I did. And there was a very lockstep thing, right? I had to move from trainee to associate to senior associate. I think when you move into the world of business and entrepreneurship, it's so open, right? And so you don't know exactly how you're going to get to the end goal. And it feels like you need a macro level view like we're talking about with the marathon, and then you need a micro view of what do I need to do today. Over time, the steps are almost going to appear because you start to realize you get immediate feedback, right? So I know, for example, that a lot of people that follow my work listen to my podcast. So producing more podcasts and content for them is the way to go. And I think the steps are shown and I think that that's the bit maybe that people get confused on, would you say? Is that they feel like they've got to fill everything in. They've got to have the whole marathon plan on day one and then it's overwhelming.

That's just a shift in their thinking. And when I'm, I'm in Mallorca, Spain right now, as I mentioned to you, you Know, for the whole month with my wife and at home, I have some props that I like to use and I shared one with you earlier. But let's assume that you. Two by two, Ruby. I used to have a two by two, a three by three, a four by four, five by five and eight by eight, then the octagon one. And let's assume that the goal that you want to achieve is represented by the Rubik's Cube. Smaller goal, two by two, bigger goal, you know, five by five. Here's the first question. Does somebody, as it relates to your health, your business, your career, your family, whatever it is, does somebody know how to solve the problems? And does somebody know how to create the blueprint for the solution to solve? Whether it's the Rubik's Cube or your business size goal that you have, does somebody know how to do it?

Yes.

Great. So that means the answer on how to solve this exists, and I'm using this as a metaphor. So if somebody knows how to solve this, that means first and foremost, it's solvable, right? So now I can shift my thinking, I don't know how to do this to I don't know how to do this. Who does? Can I learn part one? Part two is.

I don't believe that I can do this. And the question is, is that true?

So maybe I don't believe I can do this on my own because I've tried on my own to do this and it's really hard. Even the two by two is hard. But if I went YouTube because I was committed to solving this, could I, in less than 10 minutes solve this? Because an expert could walk me through step by step to do this. Does it matter whether it's the 2 by 2 or the 5 by 5? No. But if you want to solve the 5 by 5, why not at least learn the fundamentals of the 2 by 2 first, right? So I may not have the belief that I can do it, but what if I switched? If I had helped, could I do it? Oh, yeah. So then I can do it. Now I just need to learn how. So now we eliminate some limiting beliefs, right? What about fear? I have a fear that I can't do this, or I have a fear that if I try and I fail, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm going to reinforce I'm not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough, or that I'm going to be rejected, ashamed, ridicule, judge, whatever it is. Well, is that really true? Like, and if it's true that I'm going to be ashamed. Ashamed of what? Trying. Like, can we not switch, reframe what we determine failure is? Cannot we reframe, you know, that we're clumsy beginners and that's okay. Can we not reframe, you know, a negative into a positive? Can we not reframe things so that we are empowered instead of disempowered? Of course we can. Now it's, oh, how do I learn that skill?

Right?

And then if we say, well, if I fail, then I'm not worthy enough. And so we say, okay, so now we have a self image opportunity. Because now you're equating something you try and failing with who you are as a human being. Your self image is in question or it's being activated because you don't think enough of yourself in a healthy way, not an egotistical way. Well, then how would I upgrade my self image and upgrade my self worth and upgrade my identity? Oh, let's go back to the Actors Studio story that we did. Well, why not create a new identity? Why not write it out? Why not write out the character traits of the person who has the self image, self worth and self esteem that you want to have? And why not practice until you become it?

Not fake it till you make it?

No, no, no practice. But you're becoming, right?

Well, practicing creates permanent patterns or semi, semi per. So practice makes permanent. So if I can practice a self image, self worth, self esteem, representation of myself, I can practice a new version of myself and I can shed my old identity and upgraded to a newer one. Isn't that what a caterpillar does to become a butterfly? Is that what a snake does, you know, to get a new skin? Well, that's the metamorphosis that we can deliberately set on a path to. But we have to be committed because in the process of the metamorphosis, it's goopy, right? The caterpillar is in this Papua and it's like, oh my God, it's goopy. Until all of a sudden, you know, it starts to spread. Sweet. It's like, oh my God, look at me now.

Well, we have messy middle.

Yeah, we have to be willing. Like in the middle of brain surgery, it always looks like the patient's dead.

He took me right in there.

Then we have to be willing to say, okay, there's going to be this goopy, clumsy beginner stage. Kind of like when you learned how to walk, kind of like when you learned how to brush your teeth. Kind of like when you learned how to use A fork or a knife. Kind of like when you learn how to tie your shoes. Kind of like when you learn how to put on a blouse. Kind of like when you learn how to put on. On a jacket. Kind of like when you learn how to like. It's kind of like everything. It's. It's goopy and clumsy at the beginning until it becomes effort less, not effort more. Because we need to do effort more initially, but it becomes effortless when it goes from conscious effort to unconscious competence. That middle stage, if we, if we attend it with understanding, I know it's going to be a little bit clumsy and uncertain, and I'm going to lack confidence initially. And that's okay. It's part of the process. If you recall earlier I said, tell me the process if I can tell you the process. If you want to exercise and get in shape, you might be a little sore a few days. If you're using weights or using, you know, Pilates, or if you're. If you're. If you're going to go hiking, you're going to be a little sore. Is that okay? Because you want the result. Yeah, you're going to crave certain foods. Is that okay? Because you want the results. You're going to have to release some disempowering habits and create new ones. It's going to feel a little bit uncertain at first, and you're going to have resistance. Is that okay? Because I'm going to give you the skills to deal with that. Well, yeah, see, it's the absence of the awareness. It's the absence of the skill to deal with. Okay, what I have to, you know, endure that causes the problem. Because most people don't know how to manage emotions. Most people think that feelings are going to last forever, so they suppress it or they move away from them versus understanding the nature of what are emotions? That's ignorance. What are the different. What is the difference between emotions and feelings? Can I control my feelings more? Of course you can. Can I become more aware? Of course you can. Can I become more focused on what I want versus what I don't want? Of course you can. Can I upgrade my knowledge and skill? Of course you can. But I'm going to come back, Angela, to. That's only reserved for people who are committed to the change, not people who are interested. Because when you're interested, you do what's easy and convenient.

And you do what's comfortable. But when you are committed, you are willing to go through the discomfort of change to get to the other side yeah, absolutely.

And also accepting, right, you can't skip steps, which I think is what you're talking about there. When you've got the smaller Rubik's Cube, it's a little bit like if we were talking instead of a marathon, right, that you're going to squat 100 kilos. If you've never squatted in your life before, you cannot load up that bar. You're going to have to learn that functional pattern and make sure you've got a good foundation, because if you skip the steps halfway through, you're going to get injured. Then you're going to be all the way back, sliding down. And I think it's easy, isn't it, to assume that I've got to be there right now, but actually you've got to build the foundations.

Yeah, I, I'm writing something down right now because you just triggered a thought for me. And, and part of, I mean, there's good news and challenging news for this, right, is we, we live in. What I just wrote down is like a fast food mentality. You know, it's like, you know, instead of good food, fast, we want fast food. And so think about. I know. I like, I'm. I'm impatient. I want it now. Like, let's go, Come on. I want the result now. But I'm also experienced enough to know that in order for me to, let's say, build a house fast, I need a foundation. You know, in order for me to earn a lot of money, I need to learn how to earn a little bit first. In order for me to, you know, become really good at saving, I need you to start the habit of saving, even if it's a dollar a pound a day. Right. So what a lot of people want to do is skip the foundational pieces. And so what are the foundational pieces I'm going to go back to? First, let me be aware of my patterns, because it's the awareness that gives me choice, and it's the choice that can give me the freedoms that I want. So sometimes we have to slow down to be able to pick up speed. And they say that slow is smooth and smooth is fast. What gives us the ability to go fast are the right thinking patterns, the right emotional patterns, the right habitual patterns that drive the behavioral patterns. So how do I start to think the right way? And as I mentioned earlier, thinking is different than having 6,200 thoughts. And I know you were, you know, a student of my old business partner. You may not know this, but I funded the life success Institute with Bob in 1995.

Wow.

So. So first, I want to understand that I can have random thoughts all day long, every day. Some are constructive, some are destructive.

And the question is, can I let go of the thoughts that don't evolve me for the better, and can I deliberately choose the right thoughts? Can I think in a different way about myself and about what I want to achieve so that I am more empowered and I'm taking actions that I need to take? And then can I develop new empowering habits at the level of the success that I want? See, every level of success requires a way of thinking, emotional control for that level, and behaviors.

Absolutely. I can ask you, actually, a question on that.

Oh, sorry.

If you want to carry on.

No, go ahead.

Well, there's a couple of things that come up there, because two questions, really. One is around those thoughts and the negativity, I think because of so much information online, some people then feel nervous. They're like, oh, my God, I'm not on the right vibration. I'm attracting the wrong things to me. This is why it's such a bumpy road, because my thoughts are not in sync. Right. They're not matching up. Sometimes I wake up and I'm really, really positive and I do my affirmations and I go work out and I'm in a really positive mindset and I take inspired action. Then other days I'm kind of down. That. That's kind of one thing where I'd really like you to clarify for people. And then the other thing is just how you do program that new neurological pattern in. Because with affirmations, again, I see different thoughts around this. Some. Some individuals will say, you can reprogram exactly what you want and repetition is key. And that was definitely something that came up in Bob's program. Whereas others will say, well, actually, no, your subconscious mind isn't going to accept it. You know, if you try and say you're a multi millionaire when you've got 2 cents in the bank, your mind's not going to believe you. So you're going to need to have a kind of continuous 10 sense are sort of on the way to affirmation. And I'd really love it if you could clarify that for listeners.

Sure. So let's talk about what is an affirmation? A lot of people think an affirmation is a sentence of something that is true. It's not.

An affirmation is affirming in one's mind. So it's what I want to be true that I'm affirming in my mind. And so sometimes I remember when I was 19 and I started using affirmations and I would say, you know, and I'll use a Bob Proctor line. I'll just modify. So I'm so great, happy and grateful for the fact that I'm earning $10,000 a month. There used to be a voice in my head that would go, that's not true. I would hear this voice go, that's not.

Go away.

Yes.

Where's that coming from? Because, listen, we know the truth. I mean, we know the truth. We're not stupid. We're brilliant human. We know the truth. I'm not driving that car. I'm not traveling first class. We know the truth. But what if I. What if I said, okay, critical voice, I understand, it's not true. Okay, I am putting this into my bio computer, the subconscious, to make it true right now and to reinforce this. Please help me do this. Here is the thing that we have to understand. I have a brain. I'm not my brain. My brain is like an orchestra. Think about, you know, your job is the conductor of the orchestra. And we all have this critical voice in our head member of the orchestra or the band member. Your job as the. As the. As the orchestra leader, the conductor is to quiet down that musician, okay? When you want her to be quiet, I understand you think that's negative. Just be quiet. Now, here's what I want to play. So your job is to take the different facets, the 19 different parts of the brain, and conduct like an orchestra leader. And when we understand, for example, that there's a part of our brain, I call it the. The Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein's monster. This member of the band, okay, or the orchestra, her job is to always do this. What if that doesn't work? What if you fail? What if you lose money? What if you lose time? What if you're embarrassed? What if you're ashamed? You tried this before. This is the part of the brain. It's supposed to do this for what? Or do you remember earlier I said our number one priority of the brain is security, safety, survival. Number two is avoidance of pain or discomfort. This part of the brain works by going into our memory bank, okay, every billionth of a second to check and balance. Is there any information in this memory bank that would suggest this isn't true? Or this could cause pain or discomfort, and anything that it finds, it brings to your consciousness in the critical voice that you have, that you and I hear. Now let me shift aside for Just a moment. Ask you a question. Would you ever get into a car on the highway or freeway with somebody who told you, I don't have brakes in my car? It's just the gas. Let's go.

No, probably not.

Oh, so you actually like the fact that they have brakes in. What about the cars today that have sensors? There's cars behind you, you're low on gas, there's a car to the right of you, you're down windshield wiperfield. Oh, the back doors open, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. You like those sensors, right? Well, what if you just treated that part of your brain as an automatic sensor that's going to bring to you something to be aware of.

And then your decision determines what happens next. So if you listen to this voice and you panic, right? And you get into this emotional state that disempowers you, this critical voice is using your past to predict your present and your future. So when we're talking about, you know, affirmations, I am just embedding into my memory bank something that I want in there as a new reference point for me to lean upon instead of all the old negative stuff. I am deliberately and consciously programming my own subconscious memory bank. And if the brain works the way it does, and that's anything that I repeat, I reinforce. So if every day I'm affirming these new ideas, these new concepts, this new self image, these new beliefs that I want to be true, then my brain says, okay, based on the third hierarchy of how the brain works. Safety and security first, avoidance of pain or discomfort second, but conserve energy third. Now, let me share with you how this works. Now, if my brain wants to conserve energy, how does it do that? It does it by automating my thoughts. It does it by automating my emotions. It does it by automating my behaviors so I can conserve energy from conscious effort to subconscious control. So if I repeat something, 1 day, 3 days, 10 days, 30 days, 90 days, my brain's saying, you're putting a lot of energy into this. You're overriding all the old systems. You know what? Let me just take this damn thing. You want to believe, let me automate that, and all of a sudden, everything just changes.

And how long does it take? So in your example, where you're looking at the $10,000 a month, for example, your affirmation procedure, presumably, then, as you're saying, I'm so happy and grateful now that I'm earning $10,000 a month, initially.

Your brain, my brain, was like.

10, 10 times 100 times, a million.

Times, and you kept saying it regardless.

And maybe it's possible, right?

Okay.

So I could say, you know what? I know it's right now and how can I make this my reality? So I'm having self talk through my awareness. So I'm not fighting, okay, the, the critical part, you know, the little person on your shoulder that's talking negatively to yourself. I'm not fighting the emotion that's being triggered because of my old subconscious beliefs. I'm not fighting that. I am managing it and then I'm mastering over it. So it takes 66 days to 365 days according to the newest research at the University of of London, to re wire a certain pattern and get it to be reinforced so it overrides an old pattern.

And did you with that would someone be saying that affirmation, whatever their affirmation is, it could be a fitness goal. For example, would they be saying that once a day? Would they be writing it out, saying it in the mirror, what's how many times they need it, what's the best way?

So I call that inner size, by the way, and I mentioned this to you earlier to show you something that I created that we're going to be releasing to the world. But I have this new app coming and on this app I'm going to have these, these bursts. They're called wonderful, you know, wonderful bursts. And this one for example, is something I created. This is something I created for myself. But these are, I know I can achieve anything I want in life.

This is an app so people can go into.

It is so wonderful that prosperity flows to and through me. So this, this particular one is, is around mindset. It's called a mindset burst. They're about seven minutes long. I have shorter ones and longer ones. So whenever, whenever I've asked, you know, my clients, students to say, well, create your own, you know, affirmations and bursts and do it. And I declare, I promise it's so wonderful. It's a fact that I've come up with about 15 different ways to say the same thing to reinforce the pattern, make it easy for people to just listen, emotionalize and behave in those ways. Because there's what I call our inner sizes. So I'm always looking for creative ways to say the same thing to reinforce the programming. And so I created about 250 new inner sizes around for health, wealth, relationships, career, business, salesmanship, emotional control, etc. And so you can, you can, you know, create an affirmation. What happens unfortunately, with you know, let's say you take me creating, you know, 25 affirmations and let's say you listen to them for, you know, a week. You get bored.

Okay, so, well, what if I can say it in a different way? Would I listen to that for a week? Yeah. Now, what if I did it this way? What if I did long ones? What if I did short ones? What if I listen with, you know, while I'm driving to work? What if I'm listening to them while I'm putting on makeup? Could I reinforce a pattern, okay, that is empowering, constructive, and will move me towards my goals? Yes. Every bit of information that comes in through the eyes, the ears, the tactile senses, okay, gets encoded. Now it either gets encoded into short term memory and then it lets it go because we don't know need it, or if we repeat it, it gets encoded into long term memory. I'm going to go back to encode store easy retrieval. That's the system we want to follow. So how do I encode a new belief pattern, a new self image pattern, new habitual pattern that is consistent with the behaviors I need, the thinking I need, the emotional control I need to achieve my goal. Well, let's come at it from a variety of different angles. Let me come at it from a variety of different tools so I can mental contrast that same self image. I could do cognitive dissonance reduction. I could do cognitive behavior enhancement. I could do positive psychology. I could do affirmations, I could do declarations, I could do promises for the same one thing. I could do 10, 20 different things to reinforce one pattern.

And so like for me, like when, when people ask me like, what, what, what do you do? And the answer is as much as I can. Like, you know, I have, you know, my, you know, exceptional life blueprint with me while I'm traveling. I have everything in my life written out, all the beliefs that I want. My vision board, you know, is over here. Like even that's interesting.

I was going to ask you this because I remember, I think watching a video of yours where I think it was your son found in a box, a house, and you were living in the house that you envisaged. So some people will say you should be sort of general in your vision boarding and then let the universe. Or do you literally, like, it looks like you photoed that you put photos of the property, right?

Like if, if I, if I told you, like, you see, you see this, this house with like the ocean view over here?

Yeah.

I'm gonna, I'M gonna show you something. Hold on a second. I'm going to do something.

You're gonna give me goosebumps now.

I'm gonna give you goosebumps. Give me a second. I need to make sure my wi fi is on. If. For. I just hope. I don't. I don't. I'm gonna unplug my. My wiring. I'm going to show you something. So this is, you know, just an image that I had.

You know, it's a beautiful house by the ocean. For. For those of you listening, you may.

Think, you know, that maybe I took that picture and I placed it in my vision board afterwards. No, no, no. That that picture was. Was created first, and then, you know, we move towards making that a reality.

How do people hold that vision in their mind and simultaneously release attachment to it?

Well, no, differently. Well, we don't want to force because force negates. So whatever you push pushes back. Like, I create these images and the language patterns for the beliefs of. For it than the strategies for it. And then I let it go. It's like I know that the reality is here. I'm. Let's back up to. To something that you mentioned earlier. I just want to. Do you believe, and this is for everybody. Do you believe, I mean, that we live in an abundant universe, that. That the answers are here, The. The money is here, the health is here. The. The tools, the resources, the innovations are here for everybody to access? Yes or no? And if the answer is yes, then you ask stuff. Okay, second question is, is it a fact that everything is made up of energy and frequency, vibration? And I know you believe that because you studied with a dear friend of mine for a while. And the answer is, yeah, everything's made up. You know, my. My little battery charger, you know, the shell is energy, the pen, the Rubik's Cube. My body is all made up these vibrating packets of energy we call quanta. And so is it true that if I had a radio here right now, I can turn on the radio and tune into a station? Rock and roll, punk rock, classical music, jazz. Right now, just by tuning in to a frequency that's here right now in this room that I'm in in Mallorca, Spain, on the Mediterranean? Is it true? Yeah. Well, what is yours? In my brain, we have 100 trillion cells in our body, 100 billion brain cells, all emitting a frequency. And so here's the question that maybe we should ask ourselves. If I am energy and my thoughts and emotions activate a frequency of my sentient being. What am I tuning into? Am I tuning into chaos or coherence? Am I tuning into what I want or what I don't want? If my brain's acting as an electromagnetic switching station, what am I tuning into most of the time? Is it how I can and how I will and how I must and it's all possible for me right now, or. Oh, my God, what if I fail? What if. What if I'm. What if I'm miserable? What if I. What if I'm embarrassed? What if I'm ashamed? What if I'm ridiculed? What if I'm judged? Every thought produces the electrical correspondent of that thought and the neurochemical of that thought, which causes this thing called a body to oscillate and vibrate at the frequency of the thought. If I keep repeating negative, disempowering, destructive thoughts, I will be vibrating and oscillating at that frequency, which means that that is the reality I am going to see and create. So.

Yeah, well, no, like, does not actually attract, like. Right. If you take a positive magnet and you put it.

Yeah, not with a magnet.

Right, but, but, but we're talking about resonance versus attraction. This is the thing that people have wrong about the law of attraction. It isn't the law of attraction. It's a lot of resonance. Right. I'm going to go back to the orchestra and the band. You know, when we hear a song that we love, why do we love it? Well, because something in, whether it's the vocals or the instruments that are in concert is creating a vibrational feel. That's. It just resonates with me. That's why you might like classical. I might go, that's. I just hate that I'm not in resonance with it. So I don't like it. So I want to move away from that. Let me switch the station. And so the question that that becomes is, are my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations and behaviors in concert?

And if any one of those is off, you're not on the station. You're just not on the station. You're like.

How do you get those all to line up?

Focus on getting them lined up. How do you get a band to play in concert? How to get an orchestra with 50 people to play in concert? You have to first and foremost understand you are the conductor. So if you're going to let the instruments, you know, dictate to you. You okay, great. Suffer. Get some self control. Get some self discipline. How do you practice your thoughts? How do you practice being in the emotional state? How do you practice the behaviors required to create unconscious competence? It takes practice. And you know, most people are not prepared to do practice because it's called work.

But you practiced initially becoming a lawyer. You. You practice the new role, you practice the strategy. You practice the tactics, you practice a new language, you practice whatever it is you want to get better at, and.

You can do it. Yeah. Sorry.

Well, this is, this is the problem with magical thinking. This is the issue I had with the movie the Secret, because people were led to believe. They just need to think and believe and I'll achieve. No, you need to add what we need call is the law of Goya to the law of attraction. The law of Goya is the get off your ascaraf law and do the right thing in the right order at the right time. There's your formula. Give me the right thinking. Sure. Give me the right thoughts. Sure. Give me the right emotions and feelings and sensations. Sure. And also give me the right behaviors. Now, if you don't know what the right behaviors are to get into concert, when would now be a good time to learn it?

Right now.

Because until you learn it, you will struggle. It's no different than marketing your business. Until you learn it, you have somebody who knows how to do marketing and selling, you will not do well in business, period, End of story. Until you stop eating like, and sleeping poorly and not taking care of, you know, your, your emotional state around, you know, stress, you will suffer. No, it's not because you have to, because you've chosen not to.

Yeah, that's so true.

And you can.

Right? And I'm, I'm testament to this. You can go from wherever you are right now. Because I was, you know, very depressed, fighting for my life in hospital with suicidal thoughts on not just antidepressant, but antipsychotic medication. And I was told by my psychiatrist, you know, there is a real risk to your health if you ever come off medication. And it was slow. But I completely reprogrammed my thoughts daily. I had to practice and practice until I finally was completely, completely medication free and have maintained that way. And it just shows you can, but as you say, you got to do the work. Right. But it's so worth it for anyone. It's so worth it.

When you're committed, there's always a way. When you're not, there's always a problem.

Yeah, it's true.

And Angela, I have to take our guest to the airport.

You do. And I was just going to say, where can people find. Because I think we spoke before you go you have a free event every Saturday where people can actually engage with it this and get help. Please link to that sir, because I know the audience listening going to want to join. Sure.

So I think if they want to win the game of money, we have the Brainathon that they can join on Saturday. And it's me and other world leading brain experts and motivational experts and success experts, about seven of us. And we'll teach you how to break free from the the mental and emotional and strategical obstacles that are in your way. And it's go to brainathon123.com brainathon123.com or just find some of my work on johnasseraf.com and there's more than enough information there and lots of other free stuff.

Amazing. Thank you so much John for coming on the show. It's been such a joy to have you and for everything.

Great connecting with you also. Bye everyone.

Thank you for listening to today's show.

And for your interest in health optimization functions. High performance if you're new to my podcast, you may be interested to know that you can get a free health score and report complete with personalized recommendations on how to optimize your sleep, nutrition, fitness and resilience in the top link in the show notes below. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Links to everything we talked about are also in the show notes and if you enjoyed today's show, please subscribe for more.