Five years after prison, the speaker found himself on a hill with a rope, contemplating suicide. A desperate prayer shifted something inside him. He's documenting his journey so other young men can see what change actually looks like, mistakes and all.
Have you ever had that time in life where you think things just can't get worse? I did. And I was wrong. It got way worse. 5 years ago, I was in a prison cell. It was cold, alone, dark, and I guess what I thought at the time, at my lowest. During that time, I made a commitment to JP that when I got out of there, I was going to live my life differently. I was going to change for the better. And then if God would give me the ability, I was going to help others along the way. I thought getting out of prison would have meant that everything would have got okay. But 2 years after that, I find myself back on this hill where I was with you before, at the top of the hill under one of my favorite trees with a rope in my hand. In any case, when I get to that hill and I look up at the tree, I'm like, not today. So I pray my little heart out and I say, God, please, it's either the end of life or the end of the way that I used to live life. So something beautiful happened that moment when I said that out loud and prayed that prayer. Something switched. It's cliché enough. It's like somebody flipped the switch. I choose to take those lessons and I decide that I'm going to document the process. So when I got stuck, when I wanted to reflect, I could go back and look on what I'd done. When other young men who would come to me and say, JP, why did you do that? How did you do that? What are you doing now? I'd have somewhere to point them and say, hey, I was like you. I am you. This is why this channel exists, because at many times in my life, I did great things, bad things, good things, things that I thought were impossible. And I made so many mistakes along the way that I just wish I'd remembered or somebody had told me. And that's why I do it, because I want to and I need to, and I feel as though there is so much that has come out of it. It has been such a rewarding process to sit through this. It has been extremely humbling, and I can't wait to keep sharing this with you all.
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