Ep 103 - You Have to Slow Down

Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable it feels to slow down sometimes? Like if you're not moving, fixing, or pushing forward, something is just terribly wrong? Hi, this is Jordana, the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the InBrief podcast. And if you've ever felt like slowing down meant stopping altogether, you're not alone. In fact, over half of American adults say that they feel anxiety whenever they try to relax. So today we're talking about why slowing down isn't a failure of momentum and why it's often necessary to find real direction. We'll talk about how intentional slowing leads to better decisions, fewer resets, and stronger long-term outcomes, and why sometimes, whether you like it or not, life is going to force you to slow down anyway. This is In Brief. Let's get to it! Let's start with something uncomfortable but true. Most of us don't actually speed up our lives because it's effective. We don't work more hours or add more tasks to the list or play beat the clock because it works. We speed up because slowing down feels unsafe. It's a method of control that we leverage in order to make things feel a bit more steady, and it's a common belief that speed equals progress. But that's not true. Think about it. When was the last time that things felt uncertain for you? Maybe your outcomes weren't clear, or you didn't feel grounded, or you were worried about falling behind. In that time, how much of you wanted to force control over the situation? And how many times did your plan to force that control just translate to moving faster or doing more, deciding quicker, right? You're on a path, you want to keep momentum at all costs, so you're willing to force that momentum in any way that works. Now, in military service, that instinct can make a lot of sense. Speed matters, decisiveness matters, and hesitation can cost lives. So in a mission-forward situation, motion, no matter what type of motion, is often the safest option. But life is not a mission, and when you bring that same perspective into your civilian life, especially during a high-stress time of transition, it can really work against you. Outside of a controlled system, speed doesn't equal progress, and motion doesn't always equal direction. Here's what I mean. When you're moving, you don't always have time to process feedback that you're gaining because of the movement. You're in the action, and you don't necessarily have a mission team around you in order to notice early warning signs of misalignment. When you're focused only on motion forward, and especially without taking time to determine your direction and the reason for it, You often end up committing to paths you don't actually want to be on simply because you didn't pause long enough to question them. And then you just keep going, pushing harder when things get harder, using pure grit to keep up momentum and keep up speed on a path that you don't even want to be on. And then months or years later, you're forced to slow down. A job that back then looked right on paper, but now all it does is drain you, or a move that felt right one time but didn't quite deliver the stability that you expected. You have a life that technically works, but it doesn't feel like yours. So what then? Well, if you're like most, you'll force a reset. You'll get a new job, you'll move to a new state, you'll switch up your routine or your hobbies. But the thing is, resets are costly. And most of the time, that need for a reset wasn't caused by a lack of effort. It was caused by speed, unchecked and undirected momentum forward. That means the reset isn't the fix, especially if you're just switching paths to run faster. Sometimes the fix is in slowing down. Sometimes the fix is in stopping. When you slow down intentionally, something interesting happens. You start making fewer decisions, but better ones. You stop reacting to what happens and start choosing what you want to happen. You notice when something doesn't sit right before you're locked into it. Slowing down creates space, and that space is where clarity lives. But here's something else to consider. Sometimes you don't get to choose the slowdown. Sometimes life will choose it for you, especially if you've been pushing hard without taking care of yourself or your situations. A winter storm could shut down everything. An illness forces you off of a normal pace. A family situation pulls your attention somewhere where you didn't plan. Life is full of slowdowns. Jobs end, doors close, timelines shift. And when that happens, the instinct is to fight it, to rush back to normal, to regain momentum as fast as possible, to regain control. But even the forced slowdowns aren't punishment. They're just interruption. This interruption can be necessary. You may have had patterns that were actually running on autopilot or paths that looked productive but weren't actually aligned with who you are and where you were going. And when everything stops, it exposes what was only working because you were moving too fast to question it. Now, if you've been running, that slowdown can feel brutal, like you're standing still while everyone else makes progress around you. But you have to keep in mind, you're not actually losing momentum in this instance. You're just reducing friction for a moment. The slowdown removes distraction. It removes noise. It removes this illusion that motion equals control, but it also offers you something that speed never will: perspective. You can't correct your course while you're sprinting. You can't see the terrain ahead while staring at your feet, and you can't build direction while you're constantly reacting. The thing is, most burnout in these situations, especially in times of big change, doesn't come from doing too much. It comes from doing too much without any clarity. So if you're in a season right now where things feel slower than you planned, where progress feels delayed, paused, or interrupted, here's how you can lean into it instead of fighting it. First, create space before commitment. If a decision feels urgent, that's usually a signal to pause, not to rush. Urgency doesn't equal importance, but our nervous system can't always tell the difference on our own. So creating that space to evaluate it is important. Second, pay attention to resistance. When your body or your nervous system pushes back, it's information, not weakness. You need time to translate what your body is saying, what your gut reaction is, and to listen to what they're telling you. Finally, treat pauses, whether forced or voluntary, as data, not delays. What you notice when things slow down is often what was being missed all along, and that information can be vital to how you decide to move forward in a way that offers meaning. Not just speed. Sure, speed can get you somewhere fast, but slowing down is what helps you make sure that you're going to the right place. And sometimes the most strategic move forward is knowing when to stop moving completely. Keep in mind, sometimes the slowdown isn't in the way of your path. Sometimes it is the path.

Leaving the military can feel chaotic, Especially when you feel you should have a plan right away. But not knowing what's next doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're in transition. At the Recon Network, we help veterans and military spouses navigate transition by focusing on stability, direction, and alignment before outcomes are expected, so you can map your future without rushing the wrong move or spending years building a life out of sync with your purpose. Don't rush your next step. Navigate it with intention with Recon. Learn more about our programs and services at recon.vet.