Ep 109 - Your Pace is Your Power

Have you ever felt like you're running out of time, even though there's not really a deadline looming? Hi, this is Jordana. I'm the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the InBrief podcast. And today we're talking about how the constant rush through life is draining you. So if you're feeling that you're already behind, that everyone else is moving faster than you should be, that you should be further along by now, come on in, because we're going to talk about where that urgency comes from, why it doesn't actually help you move forward, and why the pace you're moving at right now Even if it feels slow, might be exactly what you need. This is In Brief. Let's get to it. Let's start with the feeling itself: rush. That low-grade panic that sits in your chest and tells you that time is running out, that you need to figure this out faster, that if you don't hit certain milestones by a certain age or a certain point in your transition, you've somehow missed the window. You feel it when you scroll through social media and you see people your age who seem to have it all figured out, or you feel it when someone asks what you're doing next and you don't have a nice, clean, compact answer. You feel it when you look at where you thought you'd be by now and realize you're not even in the same neighborhood. And that feeling, that constant nagging sense that you're behind, doesn't just live in your head. It shows up in your body. Your shoulders tighten, your breath gets shallow. You move through your days like you're being chased by something that you can't see and you can't name. And the worst part, you can't point to anything real. There's no actual deadline. There's no calendar date, no official cutoff, just this vague, overwhelming pressure that says, You should be moving faster than this. But here's the truth. When it comes to transition, there is no clock. Sure, we feel it because the end of your military career has a date, and so do the next set of bills. But the reality is that no one dictates when you need to have your career figured out, or your purpose locked in, or your life rebuilt, other than you. That deadline you're racing toward, it doesn't exist. You made it up. And I don't mean that to be harsh. I mean it to be freeing, because if the clock isn't real, then the rush isn't either. And if the rush isn't, then you can stop running. So where does this come from? Why does it feel so urgent when nothing is actually on fire? In a lot of cases, it's simple. It boils down to comparison. Think about it. You look around and it feels like everyone else is 10 steps ahead. That guy got the job he wanted. That one has a 6-figure salary and a lush job in upper management. Look online and you see vacations and career plans and how-to lists that tell you that others have their life together in ways that you don't. And the more you compare, the more the gap between where you are and where they are starts to feel like proof that you're too slow, that you've wasted time, that your window is closing and you're still standing outside. But the one thing I want you to remember is that when it comes to comparing your life to someone else's, You're not seeing the full picture, and there's no way you ever will. You're not seeing how long it took them to get there. You're not seeing what they had to go through to make it look easy, and you're definitely not seeing the parts of their life that still feel messy or incomplete or unresolved. You're comparing your entire internal experience to someone else's highlight reel, and that comparison will always make you feel behind. But real quick, let's talk about what the rush actually does to you. Because it doesn't make you faster. It doesn't make you more effective. What it does is narrow your focus so tight that you stop seeing options. You stop thinking long-term. You stop asking whether the thing you're rushing toward is even the right thing. You just move because movement feels like progress and stillness feels like failure. And when you're in that state, when everything feels urgent and nothing feels like enough, you make decisions from panic, not clarity. You take the first opportunity instead of the right one. You commit to paths you don't actually want because staying put feels unbearable. And then months or years later, you look up and realize that the thing you rushed into isn't even the thing you wanted. It was just the thing that stopped the feeling of falling behind. And what changes when you stop racing the invisible clock? Well, you get your power back because pace, your actual pace, not the pace that someone else is moving at, is where your power lives. When you move at a speed that lets you think, that lets you process, that lets you make decisions based on what you actually want instead of what feels urgent, you stop wasting energy on paths that were never yours to be on to begin with. Your pace is the only one that matters, not because it's the fastest, but because it's the one you can sustain. It's the one that doesn't burn you out before you get to where you're going. It's the one that leaves room for course corrections, for second glances, and for the chance to actually build something that fits your life instead of just filling a gap. And here's the part that no one says clearly enough. There are no rules. There's no timeline that says you have to have your career figured out by a certain age. There's no rulebook that says your transition has to be complete within a year or 2 years or 5. There's no official marker that says if you haven't hit a certain milestone by now, you've failed. Those rules, they don't exist. You're operating under a set of expectations that were never real to begin with. So if the rules aren't real, why are you racing them? If the clock isn't ticking down toward anything concrete, why are you moving like you're about to run out of time? So here's the permission that you might need to hear. You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to take your time. You are allowed to still be figuring it out, even if everyone around you looks like they're already there. Because that race that you think you're in—it's not a race; it's your life. And the only person who gets to decide how fast you move through that is you. So if you're feeling the rush right now, that pressure in your chest that says you need to move faster, decide quicker, figure it out sooner. I want you to stop and ask yourself one question. Who says? Who actually told you that this timeline was the right one? Who decided that you're already behind? Because chances are, the answer is you did. And if you're the one who set the clock, you're also the one who can change the timeline.

Leaving the military can feel chaotic, especially when you feel you should have a plan right away. But not knowing what's next doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're in transition. At the Recon Network, we help veterans and military spouses navigate transition by focusing on stability, direction, and alignment before outcomes are expected, so you can map your future without rushing the wrong move or spending years building a life out of sync with your purpose. Don't rush your next step. Navigate it with intention with Recon. Learn more about our programs and services at recon.vet.