In Brief: Essential Insights for Post-Military Transition
17 Apr 2023 · 5 min
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In this solo episode of the InBrief podcast, host Jordana Megonigal—CEO of the Recon Network—examines the pervasive fear of failure that many people experience. She cites a 2015 study by Linkol showing that Americans fear failure more than most common phobias, even edging out horror movies by a single percentage point. Jordana explores the cultural and personal roots of this anxiety, including concerns about judgment, loss, and the pressure to appear successful. She argues that these fears often lead us to hold back our potential and carry unnecessary emotional baggage. The core of the episode is a reframing mantra: “There is no way to do life wrong.” Jordana explains how adopting this perspective can shift the relationship with challenges, allowing us to take responsibility for mistakes without internalizing shame. She encourages listeners to drop unrealistic expectations, stop worrying about others’ opinions, and live more freely, using the improv analogy that “the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.” The episode concludes with a challenge to apply this mindset beyond the week, emphasizing that while problems will persist, the weight of fear can be lightened.
Chapters
This is InBrief. Let's get to it. Hello there, and welcome back to the InBrief podcast. Each week, we take just a few minutes to dive into a topic that hopefully makes your transition a little bit easier, or maybe it just gives you a new perspective to take into a new week. I'm Jordana. I'm the CEO of the Recon Network and the host of this show. And this week, we're Talking about failure, as humans, we're scared of failure. Depending on your own personality and past experiences, you may be more or less scared than the average. But speaking generally, we really don't like the idea of not being able to make something work. In fact, a 2015 study by Linkol showed that when it comes to fear of failure, Americans are more scared of failure than of most all scary things like spiders, flying. Ghosts and public speaking. The one outlier that beat out our nervousness about being seen as incompetent or a disappointing loser? Horror movies. And by only one percentage point of difference. Now think about that for a second. That means overall, we are only incrementally more fearful of the thing that we have created for the sole purpose of being scared than we are Of being scared of failing, Freddy Krueger. I mean, scary and all, but have you imagined tanking a new business or seeing one of your kids struggling or having to scale back your lifestyle to pay off debt? Horrifying. Now, I don't intend to minimize any of those fears. For many, they are not only very real; they are debilitating. And whether that's because we as a culture are more focused on success. We're stacking up against our peers or putting on a brave face that others can look up to. Fear happens. We just have to face it. We're scared. We're scared of losing what we've worked hard for. We're scared of what other people may think of us. We're scared of missing out. We're scared of losing people in our lives. We're scared of what happens when others find out that we're really just learning as we go and making stuff up along the way. And more often than not, we're terrified of all of the things that life is comprised of because of what it makes us look like to someone else. And because of that, we hold back on all of the things that we're capable of and all of the gifts that we've been given. We pull back to protect ourselves when in actuality we're not sparing ourselves from the challenges in life. We're just approaching them without our full arsenal in place. So what if I could give you the single key that will help you shift your perspective on all of this regarding failure? With one statement, you can turn all of that fear on its head and start living for the adventure and adapting to the challenges without carrying the added weight of fear of failure. If you don't believe me, well, maybe not, but let's give it a shot. So here goes my secret to dropping the fear of failure that will help you approach all those obstacles life puts in front of you differently. Okay. There is no way to do life wrong. Let that sink in for a minute. There is no way that you can do life wrong. There is no way to fail at life. Now, when this first occurred to me, I'll tell you, the earth shifted. I began to realize there are no rules really other than the ones that I've made up for myself or the ones that others have put in place for me. And there's no reason I have to take ownership of what life does to me or around me just because it happened to me or around me. Now, are there still going to be challenges? Absolutely. Problems? Yes. We still have to take responsibility for things we've done wrong and adapt where we can to leverage our best Case scenarios, but guess what? There will be all of those things anyway. Life is going to happen. You are going to make mistakes, and you are going to have challenges. The difference is how much you personally want to fall on the sword for life happening. How much baggage do you want to cart around with you for years on end? How much fear of shame or judgment? Do you have to carry before it gets too heavy? So my challenge to you is this, and it's for life, not just for this week. Remember, there is no way to do life wrong. Like that famous improv show Whose Line, the rules are made up and the points don't matter. So drop the baggage. Quit the unrealistic expectations you have for yourself. Get rid of what you think other people will think of you if. Just live. And while you're living, remember that life is always going to get in our way, but it's a whole lot easier to get around when you're not carrying all the extra weight of imaginary standards.
