In Brief: Essential Insights for Post-Military Transition
24 Apr 2023 · 5 min
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In this solo episode of the In Brief podcast, Jordana Megonigal, CEO of the Recon Network, critiques the cultural obsession with perfection. She argues that perfection is an unattainable ideal, historically rooted yet amplified by reality TV and Instagram. Using a personal anecdote about a scar on her knee from a childhood basketball injury, she illustrates how flaws and setbacks shape identity. Jordana cites research linking perfectionism to higher stress, depression, and goal abandonment, explaining how the pursuit creates unrealistic expectations and harsh self‑judgment. She advocates for embracing imperfections, viewing setbacks as gifts that foster resilience, happiness, and personal growth. The episode concludes with a call to replace the “perfection con job” with a focus on progress, learning, and self‑acceptance.
Chapters
This is In Brief. Let's get to it. Hello there, and welcome back to the In Brief podcast. Each week we take a few minutes, we dive into a topic that hopefully makes either your transition a little bit easier or gives you a new perspective to think about this week. I'm Jordana. I'm the CEO of the Recon Network. This week, we're talking about perfection. The idea of perfection isn't all that it's cracked up to be. In our reality TV and Instagram-driven culture, the pressure to be perfect is driven by a variety of factors like societal expectations or personal values or even cultural norms. But it's important to note that the pressure to be perfect is not new. It's been around for centuries in various forms. But if we think about it realistically, it's pretty clear on its face that perfection is an unattainable goal. By pure definition, the word perfection means the state or quality of being perfect. But what does that actually mean? What does it mean to be flawless in every way? What does it mean to be the best at everything we do? Or does it mean having a perfect life with no problems or difficulties? And regardless of what it means, Are any of those things actually possible? In short, no. No one is perfect. We all have flaws and we all make mistakes. That's part of life, and it's the part of life that most clearly shows our personal growth over time. If you think about it from a physical aspect, most of us carry a scar or two that holds a story behind it, something we experienced or something we learned along the way. I have a scar on my knee from falling on a sharp rock during a backyard basketball game. And instead of getting bandaged up, I instead played through with a deep cut and blood running down my shin just to prove to the neighborhood boys that I was just as strong as they were. That story tells a piece of who I am, and it's bookmarked by that 1-inch scar on my knee. Whether they're physical scars or personal failures, we all still have them, and they're critical to making us unique and individual. Yet we often set our sights on perfection, believing that if we just work hard enough or try hard enough, we can actually somehow achieve it. And not only that, but that it'll make us a better person. The biggest problem with this mindset is that it automatically sets us up for disappointment. We've already established it's impossible, but for some reason we keep this ideal in our heads anyway. We want the perfect marriage. We want the perfect kids, the perfect home, the perfect job with the corner office and the big paycheck. The thing we need to ask ourselves is, Are we actually striving for perfection, something that we know is impossible, or are we merely wanting the illusion of perfection to others? And if so, why is that our biggest concern? When we aim for perfection, or even the illusion of perfection, we create unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. We become hyperfocused on our shortcomings and flaws, and we judge ourselves harshly when we don't measure up. And the craziest part is that, as we've already showed, there's no way to actually measure up. And here's the other thing: perfection isn't necessary for happiness or success. In fact, studies have shown that people who strive for perfection often experience higher levels of stress and depression, primarily because they're constantly trying to attain the unattainable. They're also more likely to give up on their goals when they encounter obstacles or setbacks, because those challenges erode the idea of what perfection is in their minds. We're so much better off embracing our flaws, all of our obstacles, and all of our setbacks as part of life's gift to us. When we do, when we can embrace our imperfections and accept ourselves as we are, we will likely be happier and more resilient. The bottom line? The idea of perfection is a con job. It sets us up for disappointment, anxiety, and stress, and even prevents us from growing and changing and achieving our goals. Instead of striving for perfection, we should focus on progress and growth, accepting our imperfections and learning from our mistakes. After all, it's those flaws and those scars that make us unique and interesting human beings.
