Episode 018 - Fear is a Liar

This is InBrief. Let's get to it. Hello there, and welcome back to the InBrief podcast. I'm Jordana, the CEO of the Recon Network. And each week on this podcast, we take a few minutes to talk about a subject that hopefully makes your transition or your life a little bit easier and also gives you a new perspective about something to take into a new week. This week we are talking about fear. Have you ever heard the expression fear is a liar? There are a few things that are more true than that statement, and yet we constantly fall into the traps that keep us scared or from moving forward. And while fear is a very human emotion that we all experience at one time or another, And it can be a powerful force in our lives. When we let it control us, it can hold us back from what we need to be doing, and it can hold us back from making progress. But let's look at what fear actually is. Fear is a natural and, just as we noted, human response to perceived threat. As a natural response, fear triggers certain physiological responses within us, most notably the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. That you've probably heard of. At this time, blood flow to the part of the brain responsible for making logical decisions or thinking through situations is greatly reduced, while the other part of the brain responsible for processing the actual threat, the amygdala, increases. It's our body's way of preparing us for danger, and it can be a very helpful emotion in certain situations. For example, if you're walking down a dark alley and you hear footsteps behind you, that fear may motivate you to run or find safety or prepare yourself. However, fear can also be irrational, and that's when it starts to become a problem. See, our brains are wired to seek out potential threats, and when we live in constant fear, they can get used to seeing threats even when there aren't any. Unfortunately, the more of this that happens, the more we're subject to this negativity bias, and it means that we're more likely to focus on the negative than on the positive. Sadly, this becomes a slippery slope because especially when we're in times of high stress, like transition or a large life change, Or are generally experiencing large periods of discomfort, at those times we are less likely to take a moment to address the fear head-on, and instead it can run wild. And this is when fear steps up to take control. So while it definitely has a physical effect, the reality is that far more damage is done emotionally and mentally if we let fear take over. Often it leads us to believe things that aren't true. For example, if I was afraid of flying and let fear take the wheel, I might be so focused on the fact that planes are dangerous that it creates an even worse physiological response, even though statistically flying is one of the safest modes of transportation. Or if I was afraid of public speaking or networking, I might avoid opportunities to connect with or speak in front of others, even if it held me back from advancing in my career or achieving my goals. This is because when we're afraid of something, we tend to avoid it. This might make us feel better in the short term, but in the long term, it can prevent us from actually achieving the things that we want to do. And fear prevents us from trying new things and stepping outside of our comfort zones. It further limits our experiences and prevents us from growing as individuals. So understanding that first, fear is a natural human response, one that has historically worked to keep us safe, and second, that if we don't know how to control fear, it will control us, how do we overcome it? Luckily, while it's not easy, it is possible. And usually in one of only 2 steps. One of the best ways to overcome fear is to face it head-on. This generally works in more of the goal-oriented or self-based fears and might mean taking small steps towards your goal, even if it makes you uncomfortable. The more comfortable we get with challenging our fears, the more that we see that we can overcome them, and they begin to hold less of a threat against us. But the strongest, most effective way to overcome fear is to gain control of your thoughts. Realizing that fear is a liar and it will lie to you constantly and as often as you let it, learn to challenge the way that you think. When you feel that natural physiological response kick in, take a minute to breathe and ask yourself if that fear is rational. Try to find evidence that contradicts it. Walk yourself through what you know to be true. And away from what that negative voice in your head is telling you. The more that you can do this, the more often that you do this, the easier it becomes and the quicker you'll be able to shut down fear when it comes calling. So your challenge this week is this: the next time you feel afraid, whether that's because there's something ominous on the horizon or simply because you're facing down something you don't want to, try to remember that fear is just an emotion and it doesn't have to control you. Fear is a liar. It's not always an accurate representation of reality, and worse, it can prevent you from actually living your best life.