In Brief: Essential Insights for Post-Military Transition
12 Sept 2023 · 8 min
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In this solo episode of the In Brief podcast, host Jordana Megonigal, CEO of the Recon Network, explores why life often feels overwhelmingly complex and offers a practical framework for simplifying any situation. She begins by describing the human tendency toward "complexity bias"—the instinct to over‑complicate problems, fueled by worry, regret, and a desire for control. Jordana illustrates this with a personal story about her teenage son leaving for college, highlighting how parental anxieties can multiply the perceived difficulty of a routine transition. She then extends the example to broader life changes, such as leaving the military, moving, or making career decisions, showing how these can feel like a single, massive problem. To counter this, she outlines a three‑step process: (1) Identify the factual truth of the situation and discard emotionally‑driven or untrue assumptions; (2) Break the problem into bite‑size decisions, focusing on one question at a time and limiting options to two or three; (3) Listen to intuition, while maintaining self‑awareness to distinguish genuine gut feelings from self‑deception. Jordana emphasizes that simplifying reduces stress, improves decision‑making, and minimizes mistakes. She concludes by reminding listeners that support networks—friends, family, and resources—can make the “elephant‑eating” metaphor easier, encouraging people to share the load when challenges feel too big to face alone.
Chapters
This is In Brief. Let's get to it. Hey there, and welcome back to the In Brief podcast. Each week we take a few minutes to dive into a new topic that hopefully makes your transition a little bit easier and gives you a new perspective to take into the week. I'm Jordana. I'm the CEO of the Recon Network. And this week we're talking about keeping it simple, stupid. Why is everything so stinking complicated? I can't tell you how many times I've wondered this to myself. Sometimes it seems like no matter how far I get within a certain situation, there's something else waiting to trip me up. And as it does for many of us too often, life really feels overwhelming. And it's not usually just the situation itself. It's our reactions to each situation, our emotions, our feelings, relationships, thoughts, behaviors, all of these other things stack up on top of each other to create an even more complex situation. But here's the thing I've noticed more and more: life really isn't all that complicated. In fact, it can be very simple, and it's really only as complex as we allow it to be. Most of the time, we add in confusion and chaos and complexity to our own lives simply by covering it up with worry or overthinking for all of these other thoughts that don't belong in the situation. So I'll give you an example, and I'll use my teenage son, which he will just love when he hears this. He just went off to college, and of course, for any of you who've done this, there's a lot that goes along with that. There's tuition. There's the logistics of the move, paying for books, juggling move-in schedules and move-out schedules and scholarships and federal aid and all of this other stuff. But there's also a lot of emotion that goes along with that. I'm constantly thinking, have I raised him right? Is he going to do the right thing? Is he going to pass his classes? Is he going to be a good adult? When is he going to do something stupid? Is he going to do the things that I told him to do? Is he going to respect the things that I want him to respect as an adult? How well have I done as a parent? And with all these questions, it could be overwhelming for any parent because we aren't just focused on the kid going to college. We're reevaluating every decision we ever made in their 18 years on earth and anticipating every everything that they're going to do in the next 4 or 10 or 30 years. And that's a lot. Now, if I take a minute and boil it down to basics, the truth is very simple. He has grown up and he is moving on, and I've done the best that I can. And of all the layers of thought and worry that I placed on top of it, nothing changes the situation as it is, no matter how much I do it. If there's one thing that pretty much everybody has heard, it's the saying, keep it simple, stupid. It's a cry for simplicity because we as humans have complexity bias, the tendency to overcomplicate things. It's natural for most of us. Psychologically, we tend to think that the most complicated answer is the right one, and our desire to maintain control keeps us overestimating the thing we're facing off against. We also have a survival instinct that allows us to see all the potential threats in front of us. Even ones that don't exist, so that we can anticipate our future reaction. And that's great for facing off with a tiger, but not so much for leaving a college student on their own for the first time. But when we simplify, we allow ourselves to release that worry and fear and see the situation for what it is and nothing else. It reduces the stress of the matter. It makes challenges easier to navigate, and it reduces mistakes. So even in the middle of one of the most complex situations of our lives, We are better when we can simplify it as much as possible. So for you, you might be looking at leaving the military and moving somewhere new. And then there's different jobs, different titles, different salaries. There's kids and their grades, different school zones, new relationships, all of those things. And it's natural to see it all as one mammoth situation in front of you, which can be beyond overwhelming. And it can make that decision-making a lot harder. Instead of thinking, well, if I take this job, I have to move here, and then that will mean the kids have a longer commute in the morning, and maybe we should just change. We are looking for a house. Do we need a house or do we want an apartment? And everything piles on top of each other. So instead of that, think, do I want this job and is it right for me? Answer that and only that, and then use that answer to guide the next simple question. Yes, this is the perfect job. Then what? Well, either we have to move closer to the kids' schools or we keep looking where we are. Pros, cons, list them out. That's one decision to be made, not 40. And sure, there are 40 different decisions, but you're making them one at a time. You're not throwing them on top of each other and letting the emotion of being overwhelmed influence all of the other things. So here's how we're going to simplify complexities that we all face in life. No matter what they are, this process can be used to help you take a breath and tackle it bit by bit. First, identify the truth of the situation. If there's anything that's untrue, meaning that it's based on nothing more than your perception, or if it's grounded in emotion and not reality, drop it. That automatically gets rid of anything based in regret or worry. And by the way, did you know that there's no way to be present when you're worrying or regretting something? Regret means that you're concerned more with the past, and worrying about things has you living in a future that doesn't exist. Neither one is where you need to be to live a full and fulfilling life. After we know what the truth of the matter is, see how much you can simplify it. Just like they say, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. That's the same way that we manage complex situations. What is the first decision that needs to be made? When you remove emotion and overthinking from it, what is left? Can you break it down to the point where you only have 2 or 3 options? The simpler that you can make each step, the faster you'll be able to move down the path toward the future. And finally, listen to your gut. Never underestimate your intuition. It's there for a reason. Your experience and your history and your primal reactions are a gift, and they are giving you a message. Make sure you're listening, but keep in mind, you need to have enough self-awareness to know when something is a lie that you're telling yourself and when it's an instinct that should be heeded. Hopefully all this offers you a few tools to consider when you're facing something big and daunting, but there's one more thing to keep in mind. Life doesn't have to be hard, and there are ways to simplify just about everything. But when you're facing something that seems a little bigger than you are, or something you don't think you can face alone, there are thousands of people and resources out there to help in just about anything. So when life seems harder than usual and you can't find a way to keep it simple, stupid, find a friend to share the load. Eating that elephant is a whole lot easier the more people who grab a plate beside you.
