In Brief: Essential Insights for Post-Military Transition
6 Nov 2023 · 5 min
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In this solo episode of the InBrief podcast, host Jordana Megonigal, CEO of the Recon Network, tackles the common experience of feeling out‑of‑place in new social or professional settings—whether a networking event, job interview, or any room full of strangers. She explains how nervousness can spiral into over‑thinking and imposter syndrome, then offers a step‑by‑step framework to "own the room": (1) dampen nerves by preparing early, meeting a known contact, and gathering quick background info on people you want to approach; (2) stay authentic, including dressing in clothes that feel comfortable; (3) use a "magnetic" visualization exercise to mentally claim the space; and (4) employ a "fake it till you make it" posture—standing tall, making eye contact, speaking clearly, avoiding filler words, and smiling. Jordana emphasizes that confidence is a skill that can be practiced and grown, encouraging listeners to recognize the value they bring and to step into any room with purpose.
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This is InBrief. Let's get to it. Hey there, and welcome back to the InBrief podcast, where we take just a few minutes every week to give you a new perspective on a topic or an idea, and hopefully help you through whatever transition process you're going through just a little bit easier. I'm Jordana. I'm the host of this podcast. CEO of the Recon Network, and this week we're talking about owning the room. Have you ever walked into a room and felt like you just didn't belong there? Maybe you walked into a networking event with hundreds of people you don't know, or you might have felt that way going into a job interview or some other situation. It often works like this: you're nervous about the new situation you're walking into, and that nervousness causes you to overthink the situation, and that overthinking leads to imposter syndrome setting in. By the time you actually walk into the room, you've already thought yourself into a spiral of self-doubt and anxiety. Now, these new different situations are enough for anyone to second-guess themselves. But for veterans who are used to being in a highly structured environment, and then are thrust into a new world of navigating tricky social cues and putting yourself out there, it can be pretty overwhelming. So if this has happened to you, don't stress it. And if it hasn't happened to you, don't worry, someday it probably will. But the good news is that you hold within yourself all of the skills that you need to engage and connect with anyone in any room if you only know how to tap into them. Yes, even for you introverts, there is a way that you can fake it and come across like you not only belong there, But that you actually own that room. So the first thing you're going to do is tamp down your nerves. Networking is all about putting yourself out there and meeting new people, so a lot of people get nervous. But as much as you can, get out of that headspace. Prepare early. If you know people who are going to be there, make a plan to meet up with them so that you have someone you know to look out for. That might help ease the nerves because you know consciously and unconsciously that you're not going into this alone. Now, there might be people who you've been wanting to connect with as well that you can also get a little background info on for conversation starters. And no, it's not stalkerish to grab a few points from their LinkedIn profile. Sometimes knowing where they went to school gives you something to break the ice and disarm the other person to lead to a deeper conversation. The second thing you're going to do Is be yourself. Being inauthentic or trying to be someone you aren't will only put a spotlight on your nerves for the other person to see, and they'll be able to read that from across the room. So instead, get comfortable in your own skin and let the real you shine through. A side note, this also comes down to what you wear. If you hate wearing suits but do so just to make what you think is a good impression, There's a good chance you're just gonna come across as uncomfortable instead. So wear something you feel good in and get used to putting the real you out there. Third, get magnetic. There's a trick to appearing confident even when you aren't, and that's to imagine that you are magnetic. When you walk into the room, all 4 corners of that room are being drawn to you. Or before you enter the room, Imagine it in your mind and then shrink it down and put it in your hand. That room is now yours. And while this mental exercise may seem crazy, that trick may be all you need to walk in with your head high like you own the place. Finally, if all else fails, just fake it till you make it. If you still don't feel like you're owning your space, just fake it. Stand up straight, make eye contact. Both are moves that will make you look and feel more confident. Speak clearly and concisely and avoid fidgeting or using filler words like um or like. And finally, smile and be friendly. People are drawn to other people who are positive and approachable. Remember, owning a room is all about confidence, and confidence is something that you can learn and can grow. So don't be afraid to put yourself out there and meet new people and use these tips to practice. At different times in different situations. Remember, you have everything that you need to be successful and something valuable that you can offer to everyone else in the room. Remember that, own it, and walk in like there's nowhere else to be but there.
