Episode 042 - Let it Go

This is In Brief. Let's get to it. Hey there, and welcome back to the In Brief podcast. My name is Jordana. I am the CEO of the Recon Network and host of this podcast, which we hope in just a few minutes will give you a different perspective to take into a new week. Hopefully it is something that helps you during the transition process of what type transition that you are in. Today we are talking about letting go. How often do you feel like things are out of control? And a better question, how often when you feel like things are out of control is your response to grab on tighter in an effort to wrest control from the situation by force if necessary? Now, if you see the irony in this, congratulations. It's because it's likely that you aren't just that person, but you're also at least self-aware enough to recognize the ridiculousness of fighting for control over things that you can't control. The bad news is you're probably always going to be that way. The good news is it's a natural human response, so it doesn't mean that you're broken. See, as humans, our desire to control things stems from a variety of factors. One primary reason is that control provides us with a sense of security and stability because we often incorrectly associate having control with being able to prevent negative outcomes and ensure our own well-being. Additionally, society and culture often place value on being in control, which further reinforce this mindset. But not only is this wrong because you can't control outcomes on everything in life, but it can also have a lot of emotional and psychological implications too. Emotionally, constantly seeking control can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and frustration. Think about it. When things don't go as planned, or when you face situations beyond your control, Do you often experience a sense of powerlessness or helplessness? That's normal. Then psychologically, the need for control can create rigid thinking patterns and a fear of uncertainty. It can limit our ability to adapt to new situations and hinder our problem-solving skills and may also lead to difficulties in forming healthy relationships. Because who doesn't want to be besties with someone who must have control over everything and everyone in their life? The larger problem is this: the constant pursuit of control can prevent us from fully enjoying the present moment. We become so preoccupied with trying to manipulate outcomes to what we think they need to be that we miss out on the spontaneity and joy that life has to offer. And further, when we're trying to dictate how something ends up, we're doing so from a place of not knowing the future. Or how a different outcome might end up having better results than what we imagine. Because we're looking at it from a singular lens based on where we are, we have a singular view of where we need to go, and that lens doesn't always show us the whole picture. So how can we let go of trying to control everything and find peace? Well, it's the simplest and hardest at the same time solution. Let it go. Now, I'm not about to break out into a rendition of Frozen, although I could considering how many times I was forced to watch that movie when my kids were young. And talk about control issues. Have you ever tried to tell a toddler they've watched something too much? It just doesn't happen. Rather, I just want you to consider the fact that as much as taking the reins might feel like you've got a handle on the situation, you really don't. At any given moment, life could shift and leave you holding the reins while the horses run away. And then what? Do you fall into a heap not knowing what to do outside of micromanaging that stressful situation, or do you turn around and look for something else to tie the reins to? What we should do instead is realize that maybe that horse wasn't for us. Maybe it's only by calling a friend to travel with that we're gonna make it to our next point. Maybe it's only by walking the next distance that we are able to take a minute and appreciate the scenery along the way. So for those of you who are in transition and faced with all the uncertainty that comes with it, just let it go. Controlling things doesn't make them more likely to happen. It just makes you more likely to have a complete breakdown while trying to move all the pieces together on your own. And this isn't to say that having goals and moving toward them is a bad thing. In fact, I'm a huge proponent of that. But there's a big difference between moving your own pawns on a chessboard and trying to move all the pawns on the chessboard. It's important to recognize that while we can influence certain aspects of our lives, there will always be circumstances beyond our control, and learning to accept this and finding a balance between taking action and letting go can contribute to our emotional well-being and psychological resilience. So Take a deep breath and find out what you can let go of right now. What can you leave up to God or fate or someone else? What will, by giving up, let you lean into your humanness and your need to feel or create or just breathe? And what can you gain by letting go? As you navigate your own transition process, remember that it's okay to have expectations. But don't let them consume you. Learn to embrace the unknown, be open to new experiences, and trust that everything will fall into place in its own due time.