In Brief: Essential Insights for Post-Military Transition
4 Dec 2023 · 5 min
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In this solo episode of the In Brief podcast, host Jordana Megonigal (CEO of the Recon Network) addresses the common experience of holiday stress and the pressure to achieve a perfect holiday. She cites American Psychological Association data showing that 43% of people say holiday stress interferes with enjoyment and 48% feel pressured by spending expectations, leading to fatigue, irritability, and sadness. Jordana argues that much of this distress stems from unspoken or imagined expectations and perfectionism. She offers practical guidance: first, clarify what you truly want from the holiday season versus what you think is expected; second, reassess spending habits by focusing on thoughtful, affordable gestures rather than costly gifts; third, communicate openly about expectations to avoid self‑sabotage. She emphasizes that joy often comes from simple, low‑cost actions and that the opposite of peace is expectation, not chaos. To put the advice into practice, she challenges listeners to a month‑long experiment: let go of perfectionism and imagined expectations, and each day seek out small, 5‑second moments of joy, turning the habit of joy‑seeking into a contagious holiday spirit.
Chapters
This is In Brief. Let's get to it. Hey there, and welcome back to the In Brief podcast, where we take just a few minutes each Monday and talk about a subject that hopefully has some sort of meaning to you or can help you through some form of transition in your own life. My name is Jordana. I'm CEO of the Recon Network. And today we are talking about holiday perfection. Do you ever feel like you just miss the whole holiday spirit? Like you start off looking forward to the season, you gear up after Thanksgiving to really lean into all the celebrations and the things that it has to offer. But before you know it, you're more stressed than celebratory. And then you kind of muddle through the holidays into a new year. Where then you just feel guilty, like you missed out on something that you actually wanted really badly. Now, if this is you, I have some news for you. You're not alone. In fact, the American Psychological Association notes that 43% of people, and that's only slightly less than half of us, say that the stress of the holidays interferes with their ability to enjoy them. 48% of us are crabby about what we need to spend to keep up with everything that's expected of us, and the way that that materializes is in fatigue. and stress, irritability, and sadness. So as we face down the time where our focus should be more on family and friends and gratitude and connection, more and more of us are feeling pressured, disconnected, and disengaged. The question becomes then, how do we shift from one into the other, and how do we find the capacity to really enjoy the holidays rather than ending up dreading them? Now, while there are no silver bullets or magic pills, one of the first things you can do is really clarify what it is that you want out of the holiday season and how it may compare with what you think is expected of you. If you really want to sink into the couch watching Christmas movies, but you feel like everyone is expecting you to be at every holiday party that you've been invited to, you're either going to feel like you're not having a great time. Or you're going to feel like you're letting people down, or you're going to have to make some compromises. But only through clarification and really exploring that line between being there for you and being there for others can you start to determine how an ideal holiday shapes up for you. Now, when it comes to money, we have to make that mental shift as well. How much are we spending because we think we need to compared to what we can? It's no question that debt and credit spending shoots through the ceiling at this time of year. But why? What could you possibly give someone that balances out taking on your own debt? And is there a balance between something more affordable and something more thoughtful? My point is, in both of these examples, is that more often than not, we're losing ourselves in pursuit of what others expect of us. And oftentimes it's not even what they expect of us. It's what we think that they expect of us. I promise your partner, your mom, or your friend, if given the choice between you being in debt and them getting jewelry, or you being better off in the long term and instead giving them a tin of cookies that you baked yourself, they would all gladly take those cookies. But because we hold ourselves to these imaginary, uncommunicated expectations, We end up sabotaging ourselves and our own enjoyment for the most wonderful time of the year. Folks, it's not worth it. There is joy to be found all around you, and it often doesn't cost a thing. The question is, what brings you joy, and how can you bring a piece of joy to someone else that you love? Remember, the opposite of peace isn't chaos, it's expectation. Expectation of what we should be, what we should have, what we should do. That expectation robs us blind of being content in what is and finding the peace that comes with knowing you are exactly who and where you should be. So your challenge this week is simple. Let go of the expectations that no one is holding you to but yourself. Let go of the perfectionism you think you have to achieve in order to please others. Instead, for the next month, seek joy. Not big monumental events— small joys, incremental 5-second-long joys. And do it often, because when seeking out peace and joy becomes a habit, it becomes easier to find. And before you know it, your holiday spirit is practically contagious.
