Episode 16: Hardship is Never Wasted

Hey everyone, this is Julie. I'm back. I have been gone for the last two weeks in Kenya and I tried to batch my podcast episodes so that I would leave you with stuff while I was gone. But alas, I didn't get as many done as I wanted. Today this episode is a little different. I want to just tell you about some of the things that happened to me in Kenya and some business lessons that I learned. And so I actually in my, in my group, I have a membership community@createyourlaptoplife.com and every week I go live and I tell them stories and I answer questions and somebody asked me what was the biggest takeaway from your trip to Kenya and how is that going to impact your life and your business? And there was a 20 minute response that I gave to her and so rather than rehash it here, I'd just like to share that with you. So today's podcast episode is actually an excerpt from my Q and A hour inside of my membership group, createyourlaptoplife.com where I am answering the question about the key takeaways I had from my two week trip over to Kenya. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can always go to my Instagram account at Julie Stoyan where I have all the highlights there. I also have a really long blog post I wrote about Kenya. I was there for both business and personal reasons to help build a school in a county in Nakuru, Kenya. I also was there, you know, kind of as a personal, personal thing for me to go experience another part of the world. I traveled with Russell Brunson and a bunch of people from ClickFunnels. Anyway, it was a completely transformational experience. So I'm gonna share with you this clip for today's episode and as always, I appreciate you and thanks so much for listening. Welcome to the Create youe Laptop Life podcast where entrepreneurs all around the world come to learn how grow their online business right from their laptops, wherever they are. We don't have traditional nine to five jobs and we don't want them because financial and lifestyle security and freedom is too important to us. We know the world is changing for the better and that the freelance and entrepreneur economy is the cleaner, greener, smarter way to work for both families and businesses. My name is Julie and this podcast will teach you everything you need to know about creating and growing your laptop life.

Helen asked me this question. She says, what was your biggest takeaway from Kenya and how will you be applying it to business and your Life. That is such a loaded question. Many of you guys don't know this about me, but. Or maybe you do, but I got married at 21. 20, 21. And had three babies really, really fast, which means when everybody else in my world was adulting and figuring out what they wanted to do with their life, I was nursing children and changing diapers and, like, in the swarms of motherhood. So I graduated high school with a boyfriend, went to college with that same boyfriend, got married in college with that same boyfriend, really didn't have any space to do anything other than churn out babies. And so going to Kenya was the first time since I was 18 years old because I only went away to school for one year. First time since I was 18 year old that I was without a husband, like, in the vicinity, without a spouse, without children, and really without any work responsibilities. So it was very, very, very uncomfortable for me because I have been very crowded with responsibility my entire life. And so not only was it the first time in 17 years I had been alone for 10 days, it was also in a country on a continent that was completely foreign to me. It was like, I knew Dave and I knew Russell, right? Like, those were the two people I knew going on the trip. Everybody else was a complete stranger. And with the exception of two other people on the trip, everybody came as either a couple or a family, right? So they had somebody that they were experiencing this brand new, very overwhelming situation with. There were, like, two other people that I came to find out later had come on their own. So that first night, I was terrified. Like, I was terrified to, like, touch the water, to do anything, because I was like, I. You know, the health clinic guy made me paranoid. I was like, well, the mosquitoes are gonna give me malaria. I can't take a shower. Like, the guy gave me juice, and I was like, I don't know if I should. If I should have that juice. And I just remember laying in my bed being like, this was the dumbest idea ever. Like, I have nobody to talk to. My SIM card wasn't hooked up. And it was really scary. The first, like, two or three days, I barely ate, barely slept. I just felt so out of my element. I have a pretty strong, like, spiritual background. So for me, I think one of the biggest things that happened was that I had to dig deep and find my ability to talk to God again, because it's been a long time for me. And I. That was the only. He was the only one I had. Like, there was no. There was nobody else. And as the trip went on, I developed relationships and friendships with people where I started sharing those experiences. And so there were other people that I could like lean on and talk to. And I got a SIM card finally. So I was able to reach Alex and text him and talk to him and like share with him my feelings. That first night was probably the scariest in the, in the camp. I think one of the things that I learned about it is that hardship is never wasted. And I would see these situations where there's like so much poverty and so much hardship, and yet it was like I couldn't decide if I wanted to take the hardship away or if I wanted to just be in awe of what the hardship produced. And so for example, like we had this like gathering where we were opening the school and it was like a two and a half hour presentation and the politicians were there and There was like 200 children sitting in the hot sun, paying attention for two hours. I was like, there's no way in hell any American kid would sit here for two hours in the blazing hot sun without food, without drink, without any entertainment, no phones, and pay attention, right? Like you would. It would just be like complete mayhem. Like people would be on their phones, they need a snack, they need water, they need shade, they need this, that and the other thing. So I'm watching this and I'm like in awe at these children and their ability to focus. And so I'm like, I don't know whether to be like, oh my gosh, this is so amazing, or if I should be like, what kind of hardship do they endure on a daily basis that creates the kind of character needed to be in that situation as a six year old and handle it. I don't have the answer, but all I knew is like I was watching this. I'm like, hardship is never wasted. A couple days in to the, to the, to the thing. Like I got word from Unboxer that my ad account, actually it was like an email that my ad account got shut down. So here I am like in the IDP camp and I'm looking at kids who come in and like they have one meal a day. There's like this little three year old boy, he comes to the camp, I don't even know where his mother is. I don't see him eat or drink all day long. Like I don't see an adult. And then he just leaves when it, when it's dark again. And I'm like freaking out that like my ad account got shut down because now I've Got like this huge business. I've got all these expenses and, like, my revenue goes from here to like. And it just tanks. And I'm like, okay, I can panic about this. There's nothing I can do. Like, I am bajillion miles away on a mountain somewhere, or I can just remember that, like, hardship is never wasted. And so stupid. Because, like, who freaking cares that my ad account was shut down? Because, like, look at what I'm looking at, you know? But in my world, an ad account being shut down is a really big deal, right? It's like, it's, you know, I've got, I've got bills to pay, I've got people to pay, I've got things, like, I have to do. But I just had that moment where I was like, I felt like God said to me, like, julie, any hardship that you come across, whether it's personal hardship, relational hardship, physical hardship, no matter what, like, I'm not going to waste it. And so to me, that was like, okay, so then that means no matter what happens in the entrepreneurial journey, like, whether good stuff happens or whether bad stuff happens, it's not going to be wasted. So that was huge for me. And I think I was able to then, like, relax and be like, alright, this freaking sucks. Like, and so for you guys, like, you know, you don't get a contract or a client gets really mad at you, or your ad account gets shut down or something doesn't go as you planned, and you're just like, why me? Right? And that's your sensation. It's like, what did I do to deserve this? Like, how do I. How do I fix it? Like, everybody else seems to have, like, a perfect life, perfect business, and, like, it's an opportunity. Like, every hard thing that happens becomes an opportunity. And it becomes an opportunity to be bigger, to be better, to learn more. And as I watched that happen over and over and over again, I was like, I wanted to take all the hardship away from the kids. Like, I wanted to, like, feed them and I wanted to do all those things. And yet I was like, that hardship wasn't wasted in them. And so that was a really big deal for me. That was probably my biggest, my biggest takeaway, definitely at the camp, right? Because the trip was divided into two sections. Like, and I would love to take you guys to this camp. In fact, Stu and Amy at the end, which Stu and Amy are like the most amazing humans in the world. Like, I have never met people that are as awesome as these two people. So just yay. For them. They made a comment that, like, they're hoping that the donors who went on this trip will start to bring in their communities. And so, like, the Ndatho community is where I was. So I told Stu and Amy, like, I have a community, like, I can rally the troops. And so I think coming in the future there may be some opportunity for us as a community to impact this community. Maybe even go to Kenya, which would be amazing. So anyway, that was the camp part and the second half was the safari, so. The safari. So we went back, we got off the mountain, we went back to Nairobi. We spent a day in Nairobi doing the touristy things, the market, the shops, all that kind of stuff. And then the next morning we hopped on this little puddle jumper, 12 person plane and we flew an hour and landed in the Maasai Mara reserve. The airport is dirt. It's like a big square piece of dirt. Do you know what I mean? And like the very first thing I noticed when I got off the plane was how quiet it was. No electricity, no streets, no lights, no cars, no. No nothing. It was just like, it's nothing. There's like nothing. Like, I wish I could bottle up the silence and share it with you guys because it was the most profound silence. Very unnerving. Very unnerving. So we get to the camp. The camp is beautiful. I mean, it's like next level camping. I mean, this is not camping like you think. It's like, it's amazing, right? But we go and they drop me off in my tent, right? And I'm in my tent alone. So this is yet another experience where I'm like, all alone and they're telling me that I can't leave my tent at night because there's animals and it's ungated and I need a guard and all this kind of stuff. And I'm laying there and like, I hear this like slap, slap, slap noise. What is that? And I go outside and I look outside my tent and there's a crocodile, like on the riverside, like, slapping. I didn't know what it was. Like it's some giant lizard trying to decapitate it. And I had no, like, no, like I had no books with me. I didn't bring my laptop, I had nothing. And I was like, the only thing I can do is sit here and watch this crocodile decapitate its prey. And for me, who, like, is workaholic extraordinaire, like, I didn't even have anyone in my tent to talk to. It was so uncomfortable. I can't even tell you. I was just like, what am I gonna do? Like, what do I do now? And so then I sat down and I just. I had a piece of paper and a pen, and I started journaling. And. And so again, that was that eerie silence. But then as I started to lean into it, the lack of choices was so freeing because there was only one thing you could do on that camp, right? It was like, talk to your people. Which, if you were in a group, that was fine, but if you weren't in the group, all you could do is just, like, hang out with the animals. That was it. And so that created a tremendous amount of space for me to think, for me to figure out what I love, what I don't love. It was an amazing experience, the actual safari itself. I have always, always been attracted to animals. Always. My whole life. In fact, my mom, she read my blog post. She's like, julie, when you were little, you wouldn't go on rides, but you would always hang out with the animals. It didn't matter how many dogs bit you or what. You never were afraid of animals. You were always afraid of other things. And I, for those of you guys who don't know, I struggle with anx. I have a tremendous amount of anxiety in my life, but there's one area where I'm not afraid and animals. I'm not afraid of animals. And I noticed that some other people were more nervous. That was one thing I wasn't nervous about. And so I don't typically, like, do anything with animals because it feels really frivolous, because I'm just like, people need help more than animals. Like, you know, like, I need to help my kids. I need help my clients. Like, animals, like, you know, like, that's. That just seems like a luxury to be able to help animals, you know? But when you go on safari and you see animals, like, completely wild there, it's a spiritual experience that I don't really know how to explain because it reminds you that life, like, when you release your, like, white knuckle grip on life, like, the world keeps working, right? Like, right now, lions and elephants and giraffes, like, they're just out doing their thing. Like, they don't need. Like, they just are living, like, who they are, their true north. Like, whoever they are, like, whatever their instincts are, whatever God, whatever God gave them, like, they're just doing it. Like, they're just existing. They're just being. And so that was like, I felt in that moment for me, that, like, I felt God kind of like, touch down and be like, okay, Julie. Like, you see all these. Like, they're all just fine. Like, they're. You know, some days they have a great win, some days they don't. But, like, they're just being like, what about you? Like, do you know how to just be? I was like, I have no idea. So it was. It was like, an amazing experience to just be. To just, like, sit and be and to like, let that. That passion that I have for wildlife kind of come back, because I was like, this is not anything that I care about normally, but, like, it's actually something that, in my personality, I've always loved. So the last day, there was, like, a really early morning drive from 6 to 7 in the morning. And most people said no because we had to pack, we had to eat, we had to check out, we had to do all this stuff. And I was like, I have to do this. Like, I have to go out. And so I woke up really, really early so that I could pack and check out and eat and do all of this stuff so I could get on the drive. And there was. I don't know, there's like 12 of us out of 40 that managed to get on this drive. And within 30 minutes, we found that male lion. I'm sure you've seen the pictures. And I came within 4ft of this ridiculous lion and had way more eye contact with him than I was really comfortable with. And I will never forget it as long as I live. Like, I felt the presence of. Of God in that experience that I don't even know what to do with it. So it was pretty remarkable. It was amazing, and I cannot wait. Now all I want to do is take people back that I know love these things, and I want to be like, come back with me. Like, come check this out. I'm exhausted. You know, it was an exhausting travel trip, and there was a lot of things that, you know, I had to, like, adjust to, but it was amazing. It was amazing. So I'm very excited. I'm very excited to continue to invest in what Stu and Amy are doing to kind of bring you guys along, and also to try to take the things that I've learned and to try to make them a part of my marketing, my business as much as I possibly can, because I don't want to lose the lessons that I learned in those moments, because I know that it was a gift that not everybody gets to get.

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