I Hated The Phrase “You Can Do Hard Things” - A Reframe

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Hey, everyone, this is Julie. Welcome back to Million Dollar Grit. I have to admit, I'm not exactly sure where there's. Where this podcast episode is going to go. I just know what I want you to take away. And the idea of this episode is called you can do hard things. I hated this phrase, by the way. And this phrase used to be used on me when I would talk about being afraid of going to the dentist or something, that I had, like, a real fear around and phobia. And the phrase that people. People would say, and it was meant to be reassuring, but it was not. I don't know how else to say it. And they would say, it's okay, Julie, you know, I know you're afraid, or I know you're scared, but you can do hard things. And I remember thinking to myself, well, yeah, I know I can. I don't want to. This isn't like, can I sit in the chair and manage a cavity filling at the dentist? Yeah, I can. I don't want to. And my fear and my anxiety is telling me not to. So I hated this phrase. I. I think because at the root of most people's hesitation around doing anything, going to the dentist, starting a business, getting visible on social media, we are afraid of pain. And everybody has a different tolerance for pain. I have a very, very low tolerance for physical pain. I'm a wimp, AKA and I. But there's other types of pain, right? There's emotional pain, you know, like rejection. There's social pain, like, you know, getting embarrassed or being humiliated. And so at the core of most of our issues with procrastination and not doing these is we don't like pain. So my goal for this episode today is to sort of reframe and resurrect the you can do hard things mantra in a way that feels doable. And you can apply this to anything. Doesn't matter in business or life. So obviously, I've had a lot of success in business, and I've made a significant amount of money. I've run different types of companies. I have stood the test of time in the world's, you know, flash in the pan industry of Internet marketing. So I've done hard things in business, and I teach business, and I teach people how to do the things that I do. But it's clear that my success has proven that whatever type of pain you encounter in the business world, let's call it, you know, social pain or financial pain, when you're building things, I seem to have a relatively high tolerance for, which is why I pushed through a lot of those obstacles and had success. And sometimes it might feel like if I'm giving advice to clients or customers or followers, they're like, well, that's easy for you to say. You can handle haters or you can handle embarrassment or you can handle financial risk or whatever that the case may be. And they might be right. I might have a higher tolerance for that type of pain, which is why I made so much progress in business. But I am terrified of physical pain. And this has just been something I've dealt with my entire life. I've had severe health anxiety. And that's really the core of it, is that I'm afraid of pain. And so in the world of working out and athleticism and using your body, I have not had success. I have largely been someone who doesn't work out, who doesn't have a lot of strength or stamina. And this has been hard for me. And so when I think about the phrase, you can do hard things, it's actually easier for me to empathize with some of my followers who are not as far along in business. When I think about how I responded when it was time for me to work out. I have a lot of failure around this. Like, a lot. I tried working out so many times in my 20s and in my 30s. Never had success. Like, never had a habit that stuck. And I think I just inherently believed that I was not made for it, that I was broken, that I was not capable and I couldn't do hard things. You know, that was my. That was my belief. And so it. That was, you know, in the. In the world of working out, that was my belief. Now, you might be thinking about that, about your business. You might be thinking, well, I'm not capable of being charismatic and getting on video, and I'm not capable of sharing polarizing opinions. I'm not capable of running Facebook ads because I'm not a math person. I'm, you know, whatever. Just, like, finish the sentence. Okay, so, you know, I. I talk about my journey of working out not because I want to become a fitness influencer, but because I want to show that in one of my weakest areas, I was able to find a small, like, path of success despite repeated failure over decades. And that should be a signal of hope. If you have had repeated failure in business over decades, it does not mean that the next time it's going to be a failure. And it's very, very hard to believe otherwise when you have so much evidence stacked against you, right? You, like, you have so many stories and so maybe the you can do hard things phrase should be used to say you can do hard things, meaning you can keep going. Even though all the evidence suggests that maybe you're not going to have success, you can keep going, right? So maybe that phrase you can do hard things is, is about persevering in the face of what looks like hopelessness, right? So if we think about, I'm gonna go back to my working out and I know I've talked about this, but I really, really wanna drive this point home. I had to find something that I could do that was achievable on a regular basis. That was the first goal. And I think one of the reasons why I failed so much in the past was that my goal was a certain shape, body, or the goal was a certain weight or whatever, right? Same with you. In business, maybe the goal is a certain amount of money or a certain amount of people buying something. Right? It's a, it's a goal that is not really fully in your control and not really fully attainable at this moment in time. So I had to find a path of something that I could do regularly. And for me, what that was was doing hip drops, which are a belly dancing move in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. And I had a client in Digital Insiders, her name is Jennifer Sobel. She does belly dancing. Lovely, lovely woman. Love her to death. And she was the one who said, hey, you can do this. Five minutes. It's just, we're gonna just establish this habit. The goal wasn't a particular, you know, advancement in belly dancing, it was just establishing a habit. So one day I did it, and I don't even think it was five minutes, but I was like, oh, I did it. Look, look, I did it. So what is something in business that is so small that you might be like, well, that doesn't, that doesn't get me anywhere, right? It may not get you anywhere that you think you need to be, but it's going to get you somewhere. And that is moving. And moving is winning, right? And for those of you who are paralyzed, that is failing, right? Moving is winning, even if it's just in this tiny, tiny degree. And so for me, it was the five minutes in front of the mirror. And I started doing it. And I would say probably for two weeks, I just did that. That's all I did. And I remember saying to myself, like, just go do it in the mirror. Do it in the mirror. Do it in the mirror. And that was the momentum that I needed to take on the next thing, which was 10 minutes. And then I, you know, as I started, I was. I was so weak. Like, I had no muscle, right? I've had four babies and no working out, so, like, just zero core. And so I was doing these hip drops and I. And I ran into a problem, and that was that I pulled a muscle, like, or my joints. I don't know. Something didn't feel right, you know, And I was like, huh, Maybe I need to strengthen that area of my body so that I don't. So I don't get injured. And so that's when I got the nerve up to ask AC for some. Some exercises that I could do. And it snowballed from there. I have a bunch of writing and emails that I've talked about, like, how I snowballed from five minutes of belly dancing all the way up to, you know, the point now where I am working out, 30 minutes of strength training and 30 minutes of walking five to six days a week. And I've been doing it for nine months. I mean, it's. It's. I have never seen this before, right? Am I a bodybuilder? No. Am I, you know, am I gonna win any fitness competitions? No. But I am so freaking proud of myself and happy that I've been able to do this hard thing. And so I. I suggest that today you look at where you have the most resistance, where things are really, like, holding you back. And maybe it's a place where you've had multiple failures, where you've said, my gosh, if I can't do this, I'm gonna. I'm gonna throw in the towel, right? I keep trying, it keeps not working. I keep trying, it keeps not working. You've got all that evidence stacked that things don't work, that you are not capable, but that you can do hard things. That phrase today, let it be about you're going to move despite the evidence that your brain loves to show and shove in your face that says that you are a failure and the promise that it doesn't have to be the end of the story. And then I want you to find the thing that you can do every day. The thing that can become a habit. It may not lead to a million dollars, it may not even lead to $10. But it is the thing that you can do that you can say I'm going to do this and you can get up, do that thing and ride that momentum because you just never know what's going to come next after that thing happens. So to all of us who have hated the phrase you can do hard things, let's, let's reuse it, let's reframe it and let's have a great week. Talk to you soon.

And there you have it, folks. Another dose of million dollar Grit. I hope today's episode has left you feeling inspired, equipped and ready to face your own entrepreneurial journey. On with resolve. Remember, until next time, embrace the struggle. Harness your grit and keep pushing forward. You're stronger than any challenge you face. I'm Julie and this has been Million Dollar Grit.