Struggling To Do For Yourself What You Can Do For Others

Welcome to Million Dollar Grit, the podcast that dives deep into the world of entrepreneurship, where tenacity meets strategy and dreams meet reality. My name is Julie, and I explore the raw, often overlooked truths of what it takes to succeed in business and in life. It's not just about the glossy success stories. It's about the grit it takes to get there.

Hey, everyone, this is Julie. I am back after a month long accidental hiatus. I wrote an email to my list saying, you know, everybody on the Internet was talking about how January was so long and February was so short, but I don't really remember what happened in February. It just sort of came and went with all kinds of sickness and difficulty and some really awesome things sprinkled in there. But I did zero podcasts in February completely on accident. So as with anything, when you fall out of momentum, I don't know whether you're working out or you're trying a new habit. Getting back in is sometimes the hardest, the hardest part. And I find that even in the creator economy, when people, like, don't hang out on Instagram or don't do YouTube videos or podcasts for a long time, they feel like they have to make excuses for why they weren't there. They're worried people will be judging them, like, oh, now you're back, you know, and all of this head trash. I find what works for me is to just like, call out the elephant in the room, talk about it, even if it feels silly. So yesterday I wrote to my list and I was like, guys, I don't even know what happened to February, but here's all the stuff that I did. It felt like the silliest email ever. But I got so many replies from people who said, thank you so much for sending out that email. I feel more normal. And so I think just kind of normalizing how awkward it feels to get back on the horse after you've fallen off of it. Just awkward, y'. All. Okay, today I want to talk short little podcast because one of my private clients messaged me this morning and I. I thought it was a great question. She said, how do you do for yourself? What's so easy to do for others? Why is it so hard for us to do the thing for ourself? Now, in. In her example, she's a copywriter and she helps people come up with hooks and angles for their products. She's brilliant at it for other people, but when it comes time to do it for her stuff, she said she gets almost panicky. And you've heard the sayings you know, it's hard to braid your own hair. You can't read your label from the inside of the jar. And I thought, you know, this episode last week at the ER with one of my kids reminded me of this kind of weird paradox. So in my personal life, when my children were little, all of my mom friends with kids would come to me when they had medical issues with their kids. They would send me pictures of the child's rashes, or they would call me up on the phone and say, here's what my kid. How my kid is feeling, and these are the symptoms. And I had an uncanny ability to diagnose what was going on, to help the mom, my mom friend, figure it out. And the times that. That I was actually with her when the child was sick, I was able to take charge. And, you know, really, I joke sometimes that, like, I think I missed a calling in medicine somewhere along the line. I know this about myself because I experienced it. But I was in the ER with my daughter last week. She had a kidney stone. She was in so much pain. And when my children are sick or when they're in pain, I am a completely different person. I am not a. Okay, I am. I mean, I have my wits about me, but I'm just really in it with them. I'm in the pain with them. And they were trying to get an IV into Ellie, and they blew her vein. And, you know, her boyfriend was with us. And I said, how are you with blood? And Ellie's like, well, mom, you're kind of crazy. Like, you know, she didn't say I was crazy, but she's like, you're not really good around medical stuff. Because she was observing me as mom. And she's right. When my kids are upset and sick and in pain, I'm not really good at being the doctor that I know I can be when I'm helping other kids. And so I relate this to business because when she was asking me, why can I do this so well for other people and I can't do it for myself, I think there's an attachment that happens when you're trying to see something for yourself in your own business. And the aha that I had was the part of the reason that I get so turned around when my kids are not feeling well or sick is, is because not only do I feel bad for their pain, but I also experience pain because I am the mother. So I am trying to shield my kids from pain. And if I'm being really honest, I'm trying to shield myself from pain as well. And that immediately takes away my objectivity. Whereas when I'm helping other kids, I am trying to take away their pain. I'm. I don't like that they're in pain, but I'm not also experiencing the pain myself. So take this to business. You're really good at writing copy for someone else and seeing the forest through the trees because you want to help them do awesome. But you are not yourself worried so much about their success or failure when you turn it on yourself. Now you're worried about the success and failure because you don't want to feel the pain of failure. And this creates an attachment. And this is one of the reasons why I believe that we all need an objective mentor or coach alongside of us. It is really, really hard to do this business game. It is hard to raise a business if you're talking about raising children. It's just as hard to raise a business. And you are going to struggle to separate from it. And you need an objective party. And we have this in all kinds of arenas. We have therapists, we have coaches, we have mentors, we have apprenticeships. And if you are really good at something, it doesn't mean that you're going to be really good at it for yourself necessarily. There's no shame in it. I think when we realize what it is, we can say, oh, that naturally makes sense. And then from there we can address it. And, you know, I am working alongside a treatment team for one of my daughters who's going through some eating disorder treatment. And I experienced this reality again in a new way because prior to getting professional help, I was attempting to do what I had read online, right? So, you know, my daughter was diagnosed with an eating disorder or anorexia. I Dr. Googled my way down the rabbit hole, realized that I needed to help set portion sizes and meals and snacks. And I was unable to do it because there were. There was a lot of disagreements and arguments and I wasn't prepared for the. That she was going to kick back. And the physical symptoms of refeeding and all of this stuff I was not able to do, even though I knew exactly what to do informationally. And it wasn't until I got help from the treatment team where I was able to lean on their objectivity, right? Lean on their expertise. And they were saying, first they validated that, yes, I was on the right track. Then they gave me some tools so that I could shore up my own boundaries around what I was trying to do. And so they said, okay, you know, this is how you figure out portion size. And even if she argues or even if she says it's too much, you know for a fact that it's not. They really shored me up over there. And so then everything shifted and I was able to hold my boundary and hold the line in a new way. So this is my, my advice to you. If you are building a business, even if you know what to do but you're not doing it, or you're really good at something, but when it comes time to doing your own stuff, you can't. You need objectivity. And the only way to get objectivity is through someone else. I hope that helps. And of course, if you are trying to grow your business and really stuck in sort of that mindset swirl and just not really sure where to go, you can always go to my website@julie chanel.com and you can apply to work with me privately one on one. Thanks so much. Talk to you guys soon.

And there you have it, folks. Another dose of Million Dollar Grit. I hope today's episode has left you feeling inspired, equipped, and ready to face your own entrepreneurial journey with resolve. Remember, until next time, embrace the struggle, harness your grit and keep pushing forward. You're stronger than any challenge you face. I'm Julie and this has been Million Dollar Grit.