Dear Dad, Have No Regrets

I was reading this email from a mentor of mine. This was actually to his whole list. It wasn't specifically to me, but it, it hit me good. He's telling a true story. Recently, a father of 3 sons, age 49, 47, 29, asked me a question: How do I talk to my boys? And right there, it broke my heart. This man, his boys, one of them's almost 50 years old. His boys, how do I talk to them. Like, it's too late. That was my initial thought.

It's too late.

And it's probably not too late for this guy, but if he's asking that question at that age, there's been a lot of wasted time there, or wasted relationship, or relationship that could have been. And for me, I thought already, I don't want that kind of regret.

Yes, we do the cardboard pigs and the chicks and the I will.

I'll do the pig port. Now wait, did you, did you do the chicks?

I just went and checked on— I was just gonna look in there for sure.

Okay, and how are they doing?

Good.

So Jonah asked me the other day if he could get a boat, a kayak, and he's been working really hard on the farm. He saved up some money. He has enough. And so I just said I would think about it. But then I saw this email and I thought, I don't have any regrets. My boys are still young. They still— I can do no wrong still in their eyes. I just I just want to build that foundational relationship. Talk to them now so that I can talk to them in the future. Hang out with them now so I can hang out with them in the future. So I thought we got to make this happen. We're trying to hurry up and get our chores done so that we can go and do all this stuff they want to do.

You jumping? Oh!

And lucky us, your boots are right there.

The hard part about making this happen is We're on a farm, we have a busy farm, it's spring, I have a busy business, we try to spend the time together as a family away from that, we take care of ourselves so we get enough sleep, we make sure we're eating well, and there's not much margin in my life to make this happen. Like, every day is literally chores, a farm project, edit, do some business, supper, take care of ourselves, go to bed.

The boys want to go to town. Town's a big deal.

In the spring, there's not much margin.

So, you know, basically it's a farm project, do chores, uh, edit, and evenings here, weed a little bit, evening routine, and you're done.

So when you want to go to town, we got to do chores early, forgo a project, and hope to best you can get it all done and get some rest.

Hey, why'd you take your shoes off? Are you gonna put on your cowboy boots? Okay. Good morning, Josiah.

Watch.

Oh my gosh, good job! We have absolutely no shavings, huh? Okay, now we were gonna move one side of those out, which we started on that project yesterday. We're gonna finish it today, but this town thing came up. Hey Jonah, wait. I was going to use that to get some of your bedding. So my idea for bedding is, once you're done with that, because you're going to go to the sea monsters— my idea for the bedding is to get some of those dry wood chips. Yeah, that'll get us by just a little bit, just to sprinkle over the top. So maybe Almost a wheelbarrow load. Okay, we're gonna do it like this. Do not miss it. Yeah, this is finer, the stuff from the power company. Grab a wheelbarrow load of it and use it as your shavings, okay, for your chickens. Hey, how are the wood chips working out? What?

Good.

That's good because they're free.

From what I understand, you want a 2-person kayak so that you can go fishing together. Okay, so I worry a little bit about that, and this is why. One, you can fish off of a 1-person kayak. No. Yes. I worry a little bit about the casting, getting a hook in each other's heads, because you could hook the person behind you, or the person in front of you could hook you. So that's why if you're in a one-person kayak and you're a little bit a ways from each other but still close together—

and then what if one person doesn't want to go kayaking?

What happens if one person doesn't want to go?

If you're looking for a way to get the kids' feet wet in the world of recreational kayaks, you can't go wrong with the youth-approved kayak from—

They found it. And it's only $160 apiece. You guys got plenty of money.

I kinda want blue.

Wow, we're doing really good. 12:30. I'm done editing. That's like a record.

Yeah.

Okay, we can go. Hey, where's— You guys got snacks?

It is not 12:30.

You got water?

Wait, what about Mr. Brown's shoes? But I thought— I'm gonna have to sacrifice something. This is worth it. Like, when my boy has been working so hard for so long and then wants me to do something like this, I'm gonna try to make it happen. I mean, I'm just gonna put it on the to-do list just like anything else. I think it's worth it.

How is it that Dick's having a boat sale the day after you guys had this idea?

Um, I don't know. Memorial Day?

Pretty lucky.

Yeah. Is that it?

Yeah!

Yeah, that's it. The Trailblazer. You can pack your gear. Is it too heavy or what?

Yeah, it's very light.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Tony, you like this little one?

It feels like you would fall off of it.

They have a green one and a blue one.

I feel like if you're leaning in after a fish—

No, I think that's the point. It's hard to fall off of those. But regardless, you got to get you a paddle. All right, pick you out a life jacket, guys. Josiah, this is a 50 to 90 pound life vest.

Put it up against you.

Let's see how This could be you too. This is a 50 to 90 pounds. Okay, is yours comfortable?

Yeah.

I think the idea is to kayak out on the water and fish. Is that right? Hey, what's wrong with your bamboo fishing pole with line? You've caught a bass with it.

It doesn't go that deep.

Okay.

And it doesn't cast real far.

Okay, well, you— sounds like you need a kit like this. That's got everything you need in it. Okay, we got everything?

Yeah.

Okay. You guys excited?

Yeah.

Yeah? Okay. Are your hands loaded or what?

Yeah.

How much is it?

It was $543, guys. But good job saving up.

Working hard.

Now you're gonna have fun.

Yeah, a lot. Huh?

Yeah.

Was it worth it? I think so. I think they'll look back on this and think, you know, Pop was busy but he always ended up making time for us. To have fun together and to support us in whatever ventures we're going after. Like, do— like, would I want to buy a kayak?

No.

Do I see like the fun in it? Do I see like— I don't maybe necessarily get it, but to them it's fun, and you know, they've worked hard, so they're associating hard work with a reward, and that's what they want, so— I want to support that. And hopefully they'll remember that, and hopefully when they're 49 years old and I'm 70, I'm not writing to my mentor saying, how do I talk to my boys? Hopefully I'm gonna start right.

Hey!

Daddy's back!

You guys are back!

What do you think, Mom?

I can't wait to get in it. Thanks for buying me a kayak.

I know, it's just in time. It's so hot.

I know, for me and you to go out on the lake.

You can do it.

We'll have a date tonight. You can have a date.

We'll have a date.

Maybe that's what we'll do on our next date. Go up to the lake.

That would be fun. Take the kayak or something.

I need a life jacket.

I need a life jacket.

We bought life jackets.

You bought life jackets and paddles too? Yeah.

Now if you're interested in more from my mentor Steve, I'll leave a link to his free video series. This was part of a free video series about how a man can be a better father and He talks about an event a man can do with his son to make connections. There's some really great stuff in there, so if you're into that, if that's something you want to do, I'll leave the link for that down in the description.