How Do You Get Your Spouse Onboard With Homesteading

You don't. A lot of people ask me that question. My heart goes out mega. So I want you to know I'm not saying that out of insensitivity. I'm really going to try to help you. I am. We're just going to change perspective right off the bat. It's fortunate that Rebecca and I are both on board But you know, we're not on board with everything. We don't meet eye to eye on every single idea. And believe it or not, I wasn't— I was the one that wasn't on board. She was the one leading this. We'll talk more about that when she gets around. Here's the thing, when you guys got together, you probably weren't homesteading. Are the pigs this morning Any babies? No. Let's see, I was running like a primitive outdoor camp when Rebecca started homesteading. Well, in her case it was gardening was our start. So chances are both of you, uh, we're doing something completely different than this. So if you're living kind of normal lives and you want to do what Justin does and you're talking to your spouse, look at it from their perspective. Wait a minute, you want to put a big greenhouse in our backyard? And wait, You want to put chickens in there and pigs right next to— really? Okay, I may be married to a crazy chicken lady is what might be going through the mind. Hey, you coming any closer? Looks like she's getting a little swell down there. Any day she's gonna have some piglets. Yeah, think about it from their perspective. They might be, they might be into something, who knows. They might be into Monday Night Football and they might be on the forum saying, how do I get my spouse on board and excited about this? So my first point is just to, you know, understand, just a different perspective, understand where they might be coming from. Just give this a micro look at this whole thing, I think it's going to give us a better approach in getting a spouse on board. The second thing would be to know that relationship— ultimately, relationship is more important. So even if we never get them on board, it's important to preserve that relationship. And we certainly don't want us pressuring somebody to destroy and ruin that relationship and ultimately make our makes our lives worse. We're trying to use homesteading to make our lives better, but if it wrecks relationships, that's not, that's not the big picture. Homesteading serves us, we don't serve homesteading. Come on, get in, come with me. Work within the confines of the relationship. So do as much homesteading as you can by yourself that doesn't conflict. If in the past you've gone to the kids' ball games on Saturday, that probably doesn't need to be the day you homestead. Another example is you're probably gonna be okay with you having a garden, but what if they're weird about chickens? Don't get chickens. They like this, lots of grass for them. We'll conclude part 2 with just working within on your own within the confines of the relationship. That brings me to the third point. You gonna get it? You need help? Are you gonna be able to pull that out by yourself? Looks like I'm gonna have to help him. We'll come over here. No, it's very hard. You're stabilizing me, bro.

I wanted to do that.

You're out there working, you're growing a nice garden. Hey, Think about what maybe they like to eat. I said in my book, well, maybe they like Greek salad. Well, grow a Greek salad. Grow the meanest Greek salad. Engage the situation, you know, invite them to do something fun. I mean, don't invite them to weed. Yeah, that's a hard call to go from a normal life, going to the ball games, going to the mall, uh, going doing the 9 to 5 to— hey honey, for fun On Saturday, do you want to go weed? No. Start them off with, would you want to go harvest? Don't expect them to, but you know what they will want to do? Make them a nice Greek salad. Is he crazy? Are you crazy? No. Are you crazy?

I thought I was crazy.

I think you were catching a spider web, weren't you? No. All right, grab— go grab that bucket, please. That is something you can do. Here, I've got a job for you. No, they want to do the job they want to do, which is kind of what I'm talking about for your, for your spouse or friend. Let them collect the eggs or something, and, and don't make them do it every day. Oh, when you move the chickens to a new plot, let them let the chickens out. You might need to think about it like this too: grow something even if it's not close to your heart. It might be close to theirs. Say they like to eat pork and you're just— you're nervous to get pigs, you're scared to get pigs. Maybe you should get pigs. Maybe you should get over that and get some pigs. Even though, you know, that's kind of what Rebecca and I are doing in a way. I don't like vegetables and gardening. She doesn't like the animals like I do. I mean, she likes it, you know what I mean? And I like gardening, you know what I mean? But I sure like onions. Why you— why are you whispering that? You don't want them to know? It's okay, they already know. So that's a little bit of an example. I help Rebecca with the garden, she helps me with the meat. Because she helps me with the meat production, that gets me more excited about the gardening. Because I help her with the gardening gets her more excited about the meat production. It leads us to the fourth thing, which is start small. Just like you're starting small, start small with them too. Just, just work within your confines of the relationship and then just build up. Get them to do a little bit of some of the fun things, and then maybe they'll get more involved. But be okay if, if they aren't.

I've learned a really good lesson. Yeah, I started everything a little too early.

Meet them where they're at. If they're into Monday Night Football, maybe you need to sit down and watch some Monday Night Football games. You were on board because you were the one who started this whole thing. How did you get— what was your strategy for getting me on board?

I think it was the— I think it was the, the— we can grow this. Like, it was the cheap side of you that I appealed to.

Ah.

With the raw milk and stuff. Like getting a cow. Well, one, you already had experience with that, and two, it's like we can't buy raw milk anywhere. Yeah, locally. So like, we need it.

That's a good perspective because she's saying she's coming at it for health, but at that time I didn't care about health. I did care about the dollar bills, saving money. So she looked at it from my perspective and was like Well, look how much— you know, you can buy 100 seeds.

There was no calculation in this. Like, I wasn't like manipulating.

I know, but looking back, yeah, and you can buy 100 seeds for the same amount of money you can buy one bundle of lettuce or onions or whatever you want to say. Yeah, that's a good point. You know, it makes me think— Big Daddy, Big Daddy wants to get a motorcycle, and Grandma does not want him to get a motorcycle. It's very clear. Well, they went and looked at motorcycles the other day.

Well, no, Dad went alone. Dad went—

oh, he went— and, and what Big Daddy's story is, is, oh, I'm gonna save gas money, you know, fuel's going up, I'm gonna save money. Well, we talked about it, you know, even if it goes astronomical, he's getting up to where his gas bill is $300, say, a month. Uh, we did some calculation. Well, if you get the motorcycle, if it cuts in half, and if you do all the driving instead on the motorcycle, which you won't, it would be $150.

Grandma says she ain't getting on them.

Uh, say it's half— it say it's double the efficiency, which is probably not double. So then, yeah, and Grandma's not getting on it, so he's not really replacing the car. And then now you have another insurance, so you're right, you're really not saving any more money. If anything, you're not saving that much more money, right? Right.

He had a motorcycle when they were first married. Yeah. And I don't think he's had one since. And I think he's just like, what am I living for? I want a motorcycle. I want to enjoy that, that.

But he's not saying that. He's not saying—

no, he's not.

He's saying he's going to the dollar bills because that's— because that's Grandma's heart, right? She wants— she knows she wants to save money.

Exactly.

There's one last idea I've got for you guys. I didn't have this idea when I wrote the book, so this is going to be a— this is going to be a new Idea. But I want to— you know, Rebecca's talking about she got her vegetables. I want to look at our grass. You know, she's pushing it. She got these vegetables extra. If you're me, I would wait to got them till after the frost date. We only do like one batch anyway. Let's do it after the frost date. But I don't know, that's between you and I, I guess. Um, this grass, it is starting to grow. We got our animals in the deep bedding. I was thinking I would get this more big and lush. We've got grass here. I just saw Greg Judy video yesterday on what you call stockpile. He's feeding— he, he's having the animals out in the winter just eating, uh, grass that has been stored up. And it was no— it was no longer than this, maybe even shorter. We just moved the sheep into, uh, a piece of stockpile here, and this was grazed, um, well, clear back in November. So it's had November, December, January— 3 and a half months between grazings since we've had the sheep in here. On Polyface Farm, Joel's farm, yesterday I saw they let the cows out. And in Virginia, he's further north but we're higher in elevation, so I feel like we're about the same. And he let cows out and there definitely wasn't this much grass. Now it looks like they were feeding hay, but look at this clump of grass. And here's a problem we have. We have this jamming field down here, but the north field up there, we're trying to improve it, just isn't, isn't to par. So this is kind of going to explode. We're going to need to move through it. If I made my own hay I'd be easy. I'd be haying this bottom field and, and grazing the top maybe during the spring. So I'm thinking, oh wait, you know, Rebecca's plants are here. Maybe I could— the grass is kind of growing slow this time of year in this early spring. We could move the animals slow down here, give that time to come up, and then we're not wasting this because this is just— a lot of it's just going to get mowed behind the animals because they won't possibly be able to eat it all in the spring.

This one just fall apart. That's all right, then that means it wasn't a good one.

I think we could move them out in a week or two. We can move them slow on this very early spring grass. Okay, down here. Okay, by the time we're done here, we could go up to the northern field, and if it's not ready, we can put hay down. Okay, which is what it seems like Polyface is doing anyway. Yeah, what do you think? Yeah, and then you can get your, your sweet tomatoes and cucumbers in the greenhouse. Let's check their job. The last thing I'm going to mention— so a friend of mine, Rory Feek, country music singer-songwriter— Jarvis is the corner man where the Golden Gloves train— he called me several weeks ago with an idea for an event. This dude dreams big, so I was expecting something big. Can I get a bucket? There's so much milk here. And getting it all over me. Roy said, I've got this idea for an event, and it's— think about it like this, think about it as an evangelical event for homesteading. I said, okay, tell me more. So it's this idea where he's gonna blend music, that'd be one side of it, but the other side would be homesteading. So the— it's like this evangelical piece, like people, a lot of people would come for the musicians, the bands. And then there's this homesteading stuff, and you know, that's kind of hip and cool nowadays, uh, so people aren't going to be shut off to it. It's cool, you know, once they're there. They came for the music, but once they're there, they're going to be in. It's interesting enough that people are going to be into that. I thought this was a brilliant idea, and I think this could be an idea for you guys. Okay, got her milked out. She's the important, super important one. This one's got a calf, although if we don't demand the milk, she'll stop giving it. So I think this could be an event for you guys. Let's do this. Because you're into homesteading, you want your spouse on, on board for homesteading, they're into music, you're both into music, invite them to this thing. Yesterday I gave you a bit of a health update. I had this flare-up in my weight. Now I kind of want to know if it's the scale. I'm totally back to where I was, 3 pounds less from yesterday to today. Is that inflammation or is that just a finicky scale or water levels in my body? I don't know, but the arch of my foot is, is aching today. Rebecca, we gotta go do blueberries. While we wait on her, let's load the blueberries. I can finish this story about Rory. One more thing about the pain, then I'll tell you about Rory, I promise. I bring it up because so many of you have come through my line and said talk about it more. You're going through it. You're, you're also in pain. I know we're on a side story here, but we'll just go with it. My heart goes out to all you who are in pain. I won't say I know what it feels like, but I will say I'm in pain. I hear you and I see you. Guess who Roy's having at the event? Who's Roy having at the event? Didn't you know?

Yes, Joel Salatin.

Joel Salatin. That's probably not going to surprise anybody. We've got Joel Salatin. We've got yours truly. Hey, Rebecca's a headliner. You're not just coming with— yes, you are. You're in the tease video. We're going to show it. You're in the tease video twice. You guys have to see if you can spot it. Um, I'm going to show the tease video in a second.

I am just—

you won't admit it, you're so humble. That's why you're the headliner.

Hey, do you know who I'm excited about?

Who are you excited about?

Temple Grandin.

That's what I was gonna say.

Temple Grandin.

Amazing animal husbandry.

There's a, there's a movie on her. They made a movie on her.

Name the movie because that's a good one.

I don't know the name of the movie. I like that movie. It was such a good movie.

You should watch that movie. Yeah, that's Biggest Little Farm. Yeah, that—

no, I'm so excited to see her. And then I'm also very excited to listen to Kevin Costner.

Oh, she named it! She named it Kevin Costner! Yes, the Kevin Costner, like, uh, the Robin of Loxley. Dan, show a clip of Robin of Loxley. But with the one true weapon that escapes you, Will. Courage. John Dunbar.

Dunbar, that's what I meant.

Uh, Dan, show a clip of that. And then what was his name in The Field of Dreams? That's a big one, showing our age here. It'll show your age of what movies you remember that Kevin Costner is in. Oh, he was in that Netflix— that Netflix original where they hunted down Bonnie and Clyde. That was super cool. Oh, and most recently, John Dutton. Well, he likes to play Johns, doesn't he, in Western movies? John Dutton in Yellowstone. Yes, that guy. No, he's not coming as Kevin Costner the actor. He's coming as Kevin Costner the country music star. He has a country music band. Shake the ground, I've seen people run for shelter. Ray was his name in Field of Dreams. Okay, so anyway, the point is, hey, invite your spouse that you're trying to get on board with homesteading to come to this event, right? Kevin Costner. That's all you got to say and they're going to want to come, and you're both going to enjoy Kevin Costner and the other big name artists that are there, and then the, the big name farmers and homesteaders that are there.

There are so many homesteaders that are coming, it's amazing. I'm very excited.

Guest hours, guest hours.

Katie St. Cree, I think that's how you say her name. You can go to—

what's the name of the website?

Thehomesteadfestival.com.

Now hey, while we load these, I'm gonna have Dan drop the trailer for this event. Like, there's a trailer for this event. Rebecca's the star.

Stop.

She's in there twice. This is food from our land. We grew this.

Of really paying attention to everything that I was eating. We had no idea. I know it's overwhelming when you're starting something new.

When you're at the supermarket and there's no food on the shelf, it makes you feel vulnerable.

Hey you guys, I am so excited to be here. Hi, I'm Rebecca and welcome to The Beautiful Life.

We don't know how all these things are going to play out.

It's been completely life transforming.

What about this little nook here, Rebecca? It's south-facing this way, starting right here, and eventually we have blueberries through here. It's too little to graze. Yeah, and it could be kind of a feature of the playground, you know. You could come out here and snack on some blueberries and then go play. We're gonna set them out just to see where they're gonna be before we dig though. Let's set them all out and see what we've got here. We've got them laid out, 10-ish feet in between, 3-4 feet in between. Yes, buddy. Well, that's why you got the digging iron. It's gravel.

No, it's gravel.

Really?

There was a road here. There's a ground.

That could be a problem here.

There was a shed here, remember?

Oh, there was an old shed here, so it was probably— all right, why don't you try some of the other holes and see if they're gravel? More gravel right here. As long as it's diggable, I will have good drainage. I'm gonna go get Cubby and I'm gonna get these two implements out of the way. Taking pictures for Craigslist, so if you're local and you want some tractor implements, we're going to put them for sale cheap. There is a lot of gravel here. De's getting with it though, man. That feels good. We've got those in. It was quite a bit longer with the gravel. But look, I wasn't sure I was gonna plant these blueberry bushes and apple trees, but we did it. We did it, guys. Good job. And I think that's going to be real nice. We got 2 rows. It totally filled up this area. You gonna let Mama eat?

Or you?

You gonna eat? Her plate, his plate, their plate. Here, you want some sausage? Have you ever had sausage? You like it? Oh yeah. Have you ever noticed if you're trying to convince your spouse of something— and Rebecca, you might chime in on this if you want— and they don't listen or they don't believe or something, and then they hear an episode on Joe Rogan, or they go to the doctor and the doctor says it, and all of a sudden they're on board. Have we had any instances like that, Rebecca? Yeah, for years she told me I should eat carnivore.

Yeah, I did.

And then I heard Shawn Baker on, um, on Joe Rogan, and I was like, I think I should be carnivore. So that's what I'm saying, bring your spouse, a friend, a family to this event. These are things you're trying to tell them But now they'll, they'll go to this place and somebody else is telling them, and maybe it'll rub off. So I'll leave a link to that down in the description.