Milking Cows (in Real Time) From Start to Finish

Come on, friend, I want to show you somewhere.

Good morning, buddy.

They have—

they have caps on.

Then you have to be like this.

Good morning, Mr. Brown. Hey, hey, did you know where our other bucket is?

Come on! We're going into a mansion. Everyone, this is our new house.

When it's time.

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye, honey!

I am on page 6 of the book.

You're lit on fire.

You guys play nice. Josiah, you coming with?

Yes, sir.

Okay, great.

What are you doing?

We're gonna milk the cows. Okay, let's set it up and then bring them in. Hey, maybe like make sure the stall's open and stuff.

Sure.

Thank you.

Open the stalls.

Yeah, open the one for Phyllis maybe. Is that the one we want to put Phyllis in?

I guess so. I think you put her in this one because—

yeah, put her in that one Right there.

Thank you. Okay, you got a staff?

Uh, no.

Always works better with a staff.

Okay, you could use that little, uh, plastic fence post. Here's a staff for me.

Ready? Yeah.

Josiah, you're gonna need some alfalfa. Okay, when we get back, I'll have you fill it up, but we'll just get some now for Phyllis. Okay. Jesiah, can you come get your— the ladder out of here? I'm just gonna lift it a little bit right now just to get frostiness, and then will you fill this up for me? You think you can move it, or will you need my help?

I can fill it.

We open those garage doors, so going to be some more natural light here.

Mhm.

Okay, ready? Yeah, yeah, I think we're ready. Got a treat, the door open. Get this. Looks like sun is gone down. Hey, are we off, Josiah?

Can you check?

Yeah, we're off. Do you know what happened here, Josiah? Uh, they got in.

That's where they got into that pasture.

We'll have to put it up because I'm afraid they'll come in here.

All right.

Oh, look at that! Oh yeah. Okay, now stud, he might still be— she might still be in heat, so— oh, look! Josiah, come up here.

Come here, Josiah.

She's a shoe-in. She'll go, I think. You think she'll go right into her stall and not stanchion? Okay, because glossy—

that would be good.

And then come back and I'm gonna figure out, make sure she gets in the stall and the door shut. And it looks like Flossie's still in heat, so Stud's after her still. You won't go without your calf, and he's going to be acting a fool around you. This is going to be a big old mess.

Scap, come on. Scap. Come on, let's go. Come on.

You gotta go too, I guess.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Come on.

There we go. Good girl, good girl.

She's coming, she's coming.

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Let's go. There we go, there we go. Come on, come on, come on, let's go, let's go, come on, come on, come on. Good girl, good girl, good girl. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

If you weren't dead about this, I would have her.

Freddie's going to drink all her milk. He won't go, but he won't go because she wants to deal with her.

Come on, come on.

How are we going to keep this calf off of her?

Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on, Come on.

You're about to do it. I'm sure you're getting Whiter. Eek!

What's he gonna do in there? I don't know. We're going to have to get out.

Will you put up the two lanes?

Sure.

And the fence. Actually, put him in one of the stalls. All right, we shut the gate too. Would you go around? Watch out when we shut the gate too. Bring him in and shut the gate. There you go. Good boy.

All right, you got it.

You need help?

Do you need help?

What? Okay, good. Would you go around and open that stall door? Since Stud's in there, up in there, if we get him in the stall, we won't have to worry about him the whole milking time. So you open that stall door and then, uh, walk away. Let's go, buddy. Let's go. Hey, go that way. Good, good boy, good boy.

All right, now we're good.

Come on, it's a deal. You get in here, I'll give you alfalfa.

Coming.

He's got a skull.

That's okay, it's so big. Okay, we got to lock them both. All right, take a bit of a breather. That's rough when she's in heat. Go turn on the stall light, please, Josiah. Okay. Thank you, buddy.

I don't think it's nice. I cannot see.

There.

I knew I was gonna have to drag you. I would have All right, will you give her some pressure— some pressure from behind?

That one doesn't kind of like it.

Okay, that one does.

Well, your best. Okay, ready? Push. There you go. Get behind him, like run into him. There you go, there you go. Good. It's a bit loose up here. You could go, uh, Come on, come on. There we go. What's that?

I don't know. All right, good. Let me put the butt bar on.

Can you?

Awesome. Decide when you get more of that.

If you can't do it, let me know. I'll do it.

What?

Did you do it? Yeah. Cool. I'm gonna Justin dig out Alpha. Will you go get— fill that? Can you do it with the saw? With the hand truck and everything? Okay. Put the lid on good before you move it in case it drops off.

All right. Aha!

Josiah, you want to drop the lanes for Grandma? Ziah, you want to drop the lanes for Grandma?

Yeah, babe.

Sure, I'll get it in between cows. You remind me. Well, I'll have to because I gotta get Phyllis's Hey, where you going, buddy? Hey, what happened to you just now?

I came to get something to eat.

Oh, okay, cool. We'll get you something to eat. Let's go. You can maybe help me milk Phyllis. Good morning.

Good morning. Can I help you?

That'd be great.

Okay, what do you want me to do?

Lids, looks like. Uh, did you get 4? It was almost 2 gallons. I bet if I fill the jars more than the line, I'll get— I might get them into 3 jars.

Maybe you can just change out my filter after I do fill this.

Did you do— is this Phyllis?

I'm sorry. It's going crazy because Stud Muffin is in heat. I'm not— Flossie's in heat. And to bring them in, get this, Stud Muffin won't go without Flossie. Flossie won't go because Stud Muffin's in the way. And Hamburger won't go because Flossie won't go. So it was rough.

It was fun.

So hopefully they'll do the deed today and Resuming back to normal. I checked, you know, I did the strainer for mastitis. There's nothing questionable. I'm just starting, you know, when I strip them, just to get right into that What do you call that cup?

A mosquito screen cup, I guess. I don't know.

You having a good time in there, Mr. Brown, with your new sword?

No.

No? Okay, well then come with me. You gotta have fun, or you can come with me.

This play piece of Star Wars. I got an idea. You just like—

make work your favorite, right?

Love how everything— that's the kick.

Okay, you got this, baby. Well, I'll help you.

Yeah, I don't like ice.

Okay, even though I switched it out, I even thawed out the frozen ones.

I had ice developed on them. I even Paul goes out right away and drives me to the back so I don't sit in your bathtub for 3 days.

Good morning.

Hey, will you empty the dishwasher?

That's awesome. I will get that thing out of the way.

So other than the herb and the heat, it's gone pretty good.

Hey, um, going back to Tractor Supply, do we have that receipt?

Receipt?

Yeah.

Oh, you're trying to keep up with it?

Yeah, I'm trying to keep up with it so we know.

I think I saw where that receipt was, cuz I felt like I tried to save that receipt cuz we don't like that mat. It might be in all my junk on my—

Okay, I'll look at it.

Actually, it might be also in the console with the bourbon. We also went to Lowe's. Yeah, and I have that receipt too.

Okay, good, because that's just— I just want to make sure we— I was like trying to go back for the last month.

You think we'll put it in there?

Look, we're gonna have—

I guess we could do it into a leftover jar with Phyllis, right? Should be all downhill from here. You gonna go with? I've been enjoying your help.

Thank you, buddy.

Are you spot lit out there opening doors for me? Thank you.

Wow, they're stuck together. Oh my gosh.

Those two aren't coming apart at all. I'll look in the Suburban. How about that?

Okay, I'll look on your guys'.

All right. Here you go, put this away. Thank you.

Put this in the footstool, buddy. Thank you. All right, I see All right, Josiah, let's get her out. Let's go open the gates, Josiah, so it's all clear for her.

You ready?

No, not yet.

No, he's causing problems. Come on, good girl.

She cooperates when no, uh, dead muffins in the picture. You washed off the stanchion a little bit. All right, now you need me help to get this off Alpha, don't you? Hopefully she'll go in. Thank you, honey. That's dressed, isn't it? I'll be there. I'll be right with you. Do you have the trucks? No, I don't know where they are.

They should be in here.

We put them back.

Oh, uh-oh.

Oh, you got them? Okay. Can we open that so we get some light in here?

Sure. Thanks.

Good deal. Let me open this one anyway, cuz we're going to take a shower in a minute. Gotta stay on this, Josiah. Okay, keeping it clean. Basically, I would probably pick it up. Good job filling that up. How much more we got? One more barrel? I don't have much time. Uh, 2 weeks to delivery, so that might—

nah, I'm gonna have to buy some locally probably. I'll do that.

Thank you. You go spot me over there. All right, can you tilt it up after I, um, yeah, that's important because What if you— what if I drop it?

How do you put this on anyway?

I think you have it. There you go.

Is that on?

Not really. All right, so what, it goes on like that? Yeah. I think we're supposed to go around that lip.

Huh.

There.

Jonah?

Somebody's mystery person.

Who is it?

Jonah.

Hey, my man.

Is that muffin still in heat?

Yeah, he's still acting a fool. He is?

Oh yeah.

All right, that's it. Oh yeah, he nursed, but we still got almost 2 gallons, so we might have gotten 2 gallons had he not nursed. All right, you want to stabilize him?

Doing good.

Okay, this is a crazy bump. Just that way, Jonah, we get the bikes out of the way. Thanks. Actually, put those bikes where they go, please. Mama cool with you wearing her boots? So should we keep the trunks in the garage or in the food response? Huh? I think the garage makes sense. So we'll put these back in the garage by the column. Thank you. And when you find— oh, there it is.

I got you, I got you.

So, will you get me a pan for moose? Josiah, will you help me milk this one?

Isaiah! Just a minute, honey.

We'll get you some more alfalfa in just a minute.

Mm-hmm.

Good boy, good boy. Give you a little treat. Thank you. There you go. Coming in.

Good morning.

Good morning.

How are you?

Good.

I'm gonna make chocolate pie.

Yay! When? Today. Oh my goodness.

I know, I knew you'd be excited. What kind of end do you They're so cute.

Nice. You want to get me more lids? I will.

Well, I have 3 right here.

Did you change out the filter?

Yeah, I didn't. I just, I just realized that I didn't. All right, I'm sorry, I got doing the dishes.

All right.

And I didn't think about that. Sorry, but I guess this is real life, right?

Uh, you go, you go in your gun.

Yeah, I did, but I have to empty this funnel first to clean up and get ready for pull-up hunting.

You can also just pour it into the bucket. It's not going bad though. That's a good—

that's actually— that's a good filter.

I think sometimes when you—

so you don't want to switch it out?

We can.

I have no problem with that.

I like to rinse it though.

I'm going to. Okay, for sure. I think I should just limp along. I've already got one jar filled. Let's rinse it. Let's try it. I'm impatient.

Yes, Dad.

And, and it's already baking up.

That's much better. Hey, Josiah, are you in here? Jonah? Hey, do you know if Josiah or Jonah— where they are?

I don't know where they are.

I thought they were outside with you. Is this all that's left?

That's it. I know that's a weird leftover. Maybe she just likes her pigs.

Yeah, I was gonna say.

Will you get me a towel? I overflowed it.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Good morning, buddy. What?

Eat the other one? No. Good.

Let's go do hay bale grab in the back.

Okay.

I think that you're not afraid of me right there.

That's good.

It's all right, hang on, get your head out. Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on, come on, let's go, let's go, big guy's coming. I've got you, got you, got you, got you, got you. Come on. No, no, no, let's go, let's go. Hey, hey, there you guys are. Come with Spread hay. Thank you.

Let's go get Sally warmed up a bit.

Hey, hey, will you go with me do hay? All right, let's let Sally warm up a little bit. Jonah, did you switch our batteries out yesterday? Are those the old batteries? Can you go get those charging? Thank you. Josiah, will you get our bucket up? Well, let's wash it while we wait on Sally. Will you bring the bucket? You know what the story of this bucket is?

Mud.

It's mud. Do we ever use this little bucket this side? Put in there with our buckets then.

Okay.

All right, let's get a water and use while we go out there, I guess.

Okay.

And then we'll be ready. Okay. Oh, you need these bikes. We're going to come in here for the hay. Will you put them down where they go, please?

All right, pull over here, Jess.

Oh my gosh, what?

I just saw a chicken break out.

Oh boy.

What? What? Go forward. All right, whatever it goes.

Anything else?

What?

Anything else in my way?

I don't know.

It's going to go right there again. Hey, don't go too far.

Here, get this out, please. And that's for the You guys riding?

You gonna take your bikes?

She got— Yeah. Push gas.

That's some water, guys. I'll see you knocked over your car. Here you go, guys.

It's all right, it's all right.

Sheep, sheep, sheep.

It's all right.

There you guys go. Bye. See you this afternoon. Jesiah! Coming in with the dowels. And a stick of wood.

Help!

Close your eyes! Whoops.

Oh, you got me.

Watch out.

Oh, I'm on fire. I'm not playing the game.

Daddy.

Oh, it's our lucky day.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, will you get me— yeah.

Do you want thick chocolate pie filling or thin?

What have we done in the past?

Well, when I did it on New Year's, I did a double batch and I put it in a 9x13 pan and it was pretty thick.

Yeah, I like thick.

Okay, then I'll put it in a smaller—

Okay, will you get me a spot burner?

Yes.

Soap rag, and I'll wash the buckets. Or do you want to wash them later?

Oh, I'll just spray them down right now.

What do you spray them with?

Just these. Okay, cleaner.

I'm just gonna do it with cloth and Brunner's. Is that all right?

That's fine.

Okay, I just like it because it's a little bit of a disinfectant, um, just in case there's, uh, towels, right?

Yeah. Okay, all right, here's your lids.

Just one.

Boom! We did it! I want a special thanks to Art. Yeah, from the Art and Bree channel. That was amazing. That's what it's really like to milk a cow. It's a lot of work. Takeaways, Art?

Um, it's just a ton of work, a lot of detail. Actually, I enjoyed it.

Okay, good. You did a very good job. Did the battery cut out? Because I see it's blinking. It's about to go.

I was I was about to switch it.

You made it. What about the memory card? Did it cut off automatic?

Well, yeah, every like—

it was 20 or 30 minutes. So that's the only cuts? Yeah, we had— we had— we didn't have to do any other cuts?

Yep, they were less than 2 seconds probably.

Okay, did you see anything that happened that maybe needs explaining?

Um, no, that not— it needs explaining. I mean, I guess that one thing is it's just every morning I've seen you milk has been easier than this, getting the cows in.

Oh, this is crazy. This was a bad day to do it, right?

Pushing the pole, the bull dragging the calf, and that's not normal. Normally they just come right in.

I know, right? And Stud Muffin just stays out there. Yeah. So that is the only thing for somebody who's just watching this one. Yeah, I tried to speak to it naturally to the family about, you know, Flossie being in heat and Stud, you know, not wanting to go without Flossie. Yeah, it was— that was— that part was a mess. But there is always a problem. Maybe not that big or annoying, but there is always a problem. Like, we had nobody step in the milk pail. Yeah, that could have happened. What else?

I think it was pretty—

the water lines could have been frozen. Yeah, so it went pretty smooth. She could have had mastitis. They could— one of them could have had mastitis.

Yep.

So that's what I was doing with that little metal cup in the beginning of each milking. If y'all are still here, congratulations! Is anybody—

what are you still doing here?

Who are we talking to?

I think it's just you and me.

If y'all are still here, we really love you and appreciate you for watching. Thank you, Art, from the Art and Bree channel. You did an amazing job.