This content was created by Victor Justin Rhodes. This content was uploaded by Victor Justin Rhodes. This YouTube video titled "Mom Faces Biggest Fear of Losing Her Child | Overcoming Fears in Birth" (created 2021-04-25) is a multi-speaker panel-style conversation and promo for the TV series "Rooted." Participants include Heather, Rebecca, Brianna and other friends (with references to Lorraine and a child named Gideon). The group discusses fears around childbirth and parenting—Rebecca recounts her son Gideon's febrile seizure in 2016 and the terror she felt, while others share fears (surviving birth, hurting or forgetting the baby), coping strategies (education, reading positive birth stories, support networks, faith), VBAC experiences, and encouragement to be brave. The excerpt also promotes episode 3 of Rooted (premiere April 28) and directs viewers to watchRooted.com.
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Mommy's here.
No, no.
It's okay.
No.
It's okay. He started convulsing and I read about febrile seizures in the past, so I knew that that's what it was. I like turned him on his side and made sure that he was safe. I took his temperature and it was over 104 degrees. And then when he stopped, like, his eyes rolled in the back of his head and he started turning blue. And that is when I really freaked out.
Oh my God, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life!
Like, I knew what it was, but all the articles I'd ever read about a febrile seizure had never talked about like, how it stops and that they could turn blue. When the paramedics came, they told me that that's completely normal, but I didn't know that, and I literally thought he was dying.
That was 2016, Gideon having a febrile seizure. Seizure, Rebecca literally thinking he was going to die. Here's our friend Brianna. She had some insight on that very fear in episode 3 of Rooted.
From that moment that baby's born, you are so scared that it's gonna die. That kind of bravery is partly what makes you so exhausted because you're not used to fighting the fear.
Rebecca's certainly not alone in that. Look what happens when I ask our friends about fear surrounding childbirth and children. What is the biggest fear going into giving birth? Or right after birth?
That's poisonous.
Those are different fears.
Those are different fears.
Well, speak to that.
Going right into birth, I think my biggest fear has always been, can my body do this? And with my history, am I going to survive?
Why do you say that? With your history?
Because I had preeclampsia with the twins, and I was very near death. I had an emergency C-section and was just a few hours away from dying. So with Brett and Munchie and now Liliana. It was, okay, can I do this? And am I going to survive? And then afterwards it's always, is my baby okay? Yeah, like, is the baby breathing? Is the baby growing like it's supposed to? Is the baby pooping like it's supposed to? Like, constantly. Because now I have history with the baby not doing that. So it's always just— I think your guard is never down and you're always constantly thinking about what could happen and what should happen and how are you going to get through it.
That's— yeah, once you're a mom, there's just no rest.
No, you never stop.
Uh-uh. Lorraine, can't hide.
I was just about to leave.
I'm not forgetting you, Lorraine. Lorraine, what's— what's— what are you most afraid of going into a birth?
I would have to agree with Brianna. Like, I'm gonna mess up and like really hurt the baby or like forget about her, which never happens. I know, right?
Yeah, you mean after they're born?
After the birth. Did you ask for before?
No, that's great. Oh yeah, after either way you want to go with it. Like, I'm gonna forget to feed her or I'm gonna not be able to soothe her when she's crying. For a solution in facing some of those fears, of course Brianna has some insight on that in our show Rooted.
I do think that you can remove some of that pain and fear through education, research, talking to people who have had positive experiences, reading books, through all sorts of natural methods, or getting an epidural if that's what you choose. But it's never all going to go away until it's over. I mean, that's the only way through it, right?
Since we were having all our friends over for the Rooted premiere, I had to ask them. I had to ask them what are some of their solutions.
I read positive birth stories and I look at statistics because statistically your baby's most likely not gonna die, even with home birth.
Where do you find positive birth stories?
Um, right now I'm finding them on Instagram. But, uh, books in the past before I had Instagram, books. But I've read all those books, so, uh, yeah, I just follow some women who are known for promoting positive birth, and so they are always posting stories. So yeah, right now finding positive twin birth stories is really hard, but I finally found some places for them.
My life motto has always been like Nike, just do it. Because there's no other option, especially with a kid. Like when you're birthing a child, you can't take it back. Like, you have to go. It keeps going.
You're not a waitress anymore.
So, I mean, you just have to do it.
Is that the mantra? Just do it?
Just do it.
Well, I think take it one day at a time. Yeah, for sure.
Like every day, just take one day at a time and live in the right now.
Like, I can do now.
I can do today.
This is what I'm gonna do. It's hard.
Yeah, and sometimes even by hour. Yes, if I can just get through this hour, yes, we'll be okay. If I can get through the next hour, we'll be okay.
But I think the fear specifically, that can be like paralyzing to mothers.
Yeah.
Um, especially the fear of loss of your children or something happening to your children, which is— it can be paralyzing. I remember with Grace especially, it was. I think some of that wears off over time because you, you realize, like, you become a confident mother, so you realize that like you're gonna catch things, you're gonna do it right, you're gonna be good at it. Um, they're not just gonna die on you. I mean, that does happen, but, um, generally speaking, but generally speaking. But I think the other thing is like you just live with it. You just live with knowing like awful things could happen. And for me, knowing that like God will be faithful and comfort me— God's never promised faithfulness and awful things not happening, but he promises faithfulness and comfort, right? And I've experienced grief and experienced supernatural comfort from the Holy Spirit. And so I don't know, I'm not saying anything to happen to my kids, right? What I'm saying is we're talking about it.
Yeah, we're like, oh, I just don't even want to go there.
Yeah, that's not what I'm saying. But I also think like just shutting— either one, following those thoughts to conclusion, or shutting the thoughts down.
Those—
I use all those things.
I think another thing is having friends like this. It's a good support system who've been there, done that, and they can come alongside of you and Just share like, I've been through this and don't worry, you're gonna be okay. And it's okay if you eat that.
Aren't you guys all VBACs?
Yeah, well, 3 of us.
Yeah, us 3.
That's crazy. And then Rebecca. I'll call her the queen of bravery because she's the most timid person I know. But that hasn't stopped her. She doesn't let fear stop her from getting what she wants. Here's her take.
Being brave doesn't necessarily mean you're not afraid. Brave just means you do it despite your fears, you know.
Being brave despite our fears is what the newest episode of our TV show Rooted is all about. Look, we just premiered it yesterday with friends. We are about to do the show and let me just show you how the barn turned out. Did that turn out nice? Did that turn out nice, Heather?
Oh yeah!
Turned out great!
Man, it looks so good! It's gonna be plenty dark for the movie. What'd you say?
Get the popcorn.
Okay.
Look, we all have fears. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some great, some small. I just want to inspire you guys in your journey. I want to inspire you to be brave and push through that. I think this film— well, I know this film will do that for you. Listen, episode 3 premieres April 28th for free, 6 PM Eastern, live with us. Chat afterwards. I encourage you guys to check that out. We want to inspire you. Let's face fears together. WatchRooted.com or link down in the description.
