She was Once Terrified | NOT Anymore

10 being the most frightened person in the world to 1 being somebody with no fear whatsoever. Where are you on that scale? Are you a scaredy cat?

2. It's a 0 to 10, right?

Yeah. So you're not very scared at all?

No, I feel like I'm not. I was like, um—

I'm shocked. I'm scarier than that. What are you scared of? You're supposed to be a scaredy cat and I'm supposed to be a chicken. I don't know, the finances falling through, something happening to Henry. I'm generally— I guess I'm generally more fearful than you. I think the next show needs to be about me and pushing through the fear.

Well, no, I just don't have anything. Like, I'm not— I'm not fearful of anything.

You tend to be somebody who worries or somebody who has absolutely no worries?

No, I tend to worry. I've always had some anxiety, I would say. Um, Justin would call me a worrier. Everybody should worry a little bit. That's what my therapist told me. All right, well, everybody has—

this isn't helping me. This start-off question is not helping me. Okay, because you are naturally a fearful person, I thought. But, but you know, Brianna brought up a point when we talked about this. You used to be.

I used to be.

You aren't as fearful as you used to be now. You never let that fear stop you. But you aren't as fearful as you used to be.

Just in postpartum, like a couple weeks ago, I had a lot of anxiety, but that was also because my thyroid medicine was too high. In my postpartum, I'm feeling like a 2 or 3 right now. After the Great American Farm Tour, yeah, my anxiety was like an 8 or 9. Like, I literally was just afraid of everything. Like, everything caused me anxiety. 2, 3, 4. Is my normal.

How afraid were you going into the Great America farm tour? Of that whole adventure itself?

I was probably like a 7.

Okay.

There's just so many unknowns. I think that's what the fear is, of the unknown.

Yeah.

At the moment I don't have many unknowns in my life, so I'm feeling pretty good.

What are you working on?

Oh, I'm just looking to see when I need to buy the next size up of these.

Your cloth diapers?

We use these at night, the all-in-ones.

Mm-hmm, those are nice.

They're easier to do at night.

Here's a tour of our diapers. This is what she's talking about. This is an all-in-one. What's special about that is it's got these flaps attached, and then this is even absorbent, and then this is waterproof shell. And yeah, they soil it, you put it in the— we put it in a little thing right here. I like the diaper box Jonah made for us. We got the cloth to lay them down on for changing or for wiping them up. She likes a wool cover every once in a while in the day. I say every once in a while because I went to put one on today and she's like, nope, I don't like that one. I don't like that.

It's not I don't like it, I have to lanalyze it. I— we put it on him the other day and it soaked through his clothes.

And I was like, what? We have something that you have to— what you call lanalyze. And lanalyze, it waterproofs it.

Yes.

During the day we had these. These would be called inserts, right?

It's a wood cross fitted.

And then we have a cover, which is kind of a— is it nylon or something?

Like a plastic. It's like—

it is a plastic.

EUL is what it's called.

All right, and so you put this on him. But what's cool about this is you just have to change the in— inside, and you don't necessarily have to change that. Oh look, they're covering for me. Looks like Arun is milking Phyllis.

Tell them what happened.

And Jonah's milking the other one. We had a rough night, as you might can guess. Gideon woke me up twice. Snowball woke you up 4 times. Me once. Uh, the sheep woke me up twice. I wonder if that means— did— I was thinking Dixie might have had her baby, but Bandy, but she didn't. I'm wondering if she's even pregnant. I heard something you mentioned when we were talking about this fear that I think is noteworthy. What I'm trying to do is give value to these people because I think there's things to learn from you. One thing you said as being a fearful person, because I— well, maybe she's not a fearful person anymore, so let's dig into how that's changed. One thing she mentioned is she changed her meds and how, how anxious she was when her thyroid meds were off.

They were, yeah.

Like, could it just come down to that sometimes? Imbalance.

So, postpartum is so hard. Hormones are changing and a thyroid is a hormone. So that's part of it. After the Great American Farm Tour, my meds were not off because we tested them.

They weren't?

No, they were not.

But you were a mess.

But I was a hot mess.

That was the messiest I've ever seen you.

That was something else that was wrong in my body. Yeah. Which was, I had gut infections.

Yeah.

And I had my neurotransmitters were not— my body was not making those. So then I supplemented with neuro— like natural neurotransmitters to help my body calm down. But then also the GAPS diet, that was when Brianna was like, you're a completely different person, Rebecca. The person I was before the GAPS diet was not a bad person. I was just a more fearful, anxious person.

Yeah.

I did the GAPS diet in conjunction with therapy though. Like, I didn't just do the GAPS diet and that changed me. Like, I did work through a lot of my things that were bothering me.

You didn't just work on the physical stress.

No, correct.

You worked on the emotional stress.

Well, and I mean, I've read a lot about all of this and one of the things, you know, like you can't out-supplement a bad diet. Like, so you just can't take supplements to make up for a bad diet, but you can, you can also not have a good diet and not clear up the emotional issues that you have too. You have to deal with it all. Like, you can't be just like, I'm gonna eat a good diet and my emotional issues will just not be a problem. No, like, you have to address it all. You have to address your diet, you have to address like your triggers, the trauma that you've had. And like, it doesn't have to be like a major, major trauma. It's not just like Oh, you know, like I got into this horrible car accident or someone hurt me horribly or whatever that, you know, trauma seems like such a big thing, but traumas can be small things too, and those can add up. Healing is not simple. There's one person that I follow online. She couldn't lose weight, couldn't lose weight, and she finally addressed her emotional issues. She had some trauma as a teenager. She addressed those and she lost 60 pounds. That just shows you the power. And like, this person was doing all the things. I don't even do all the things that she was doing, and she could not lose weight.

Well, where are my shoes? My shoes are not where they're supposed to be. They are here. Oh my— oh, here they are. Okay, so anyway, we woke up at— I woke up at about 6, like I'm supposed to, and then Rebecca was like, hold him for a second. And I held him and I put him on my chest. His little face on my chest, a little bit of skin to skin. And I kid you not, he laid there asleep. I'm holding him until— and I'm just, just laying there cherishing the moment until like almost 8 o'clock. It is raining. Let's hurry. Today's vlog is going to be a little bit different, if you would even call it a vlog. Maybe it's more of a show. Uh, we're going to talk about fear. And more important, open conversation with you guys about how we deal with it. Are we the fear masters? Absolutely not. So I guess this is sort of a therapy for us as well. Hey, how's it going over there? Oh cool, thanks everybody. They're mad at me. They wanted me to take care of Mama. Well, I wanted this. I wanted this shot. I wanted this shot of this mama taking care of this baby. I wanted to get some get some shots of this too. I don't know why, just this mother-mother-baby thing. Who was belt, uh, bleating last night? It was Belle. Why did she do that?

She hopped up on the jump.

There she is.

Leave that bread container.

That's where the sheep are. Was the little sheep out? Wait, sometimes the little sheep gets out. If we're gonna start milking sheep for real, eventually you're gonna have to put lambs in another they could go in with the chickens when we're out in the pasture, and you could do lamb separating. I don't know.

No, that's just way a lot of work.

That was interesting this morning with Rebecca. You know, I wanted to interview her about Fear Today show, but she didn't really go for it. And she has a good point there because she ain't going to tell you guys a lie. She's not as fearful of a person as she used to be. Watching these shows rooted, you know, we're sharing our stories of overcoming finance, overcoming health, In this show that's coming out now, episode 2, it's the fear around the wellness of our baby. And who is— why does she do that? Is that Floppy or Belle?

Floppy.

Because her sheep died. You think she's looking for her other sheep? Yes, I do. I find myself— I don't know, it's triggering it. And it's like, is this success going to last? As a man who's providing for the family, just like if somebody had a job, might want to fear every once in a while that that job might go away. Is she bellowing at Randolph? Randolph's walking around on our roof with an umbrella. He's, he's working on our screens. I might be fearful that YouTube's gonna pull the plug on us, and, and that's a big part of our income, or our membership's gonna go down for whatever reason. It doesn't— like, it's the It's all going up, all going good. But I think one way I push through that is probably how you might want to first address fear. It'd be like, fear's there to tell me something. It's there to keep me safe. In the case of finances, get your hustle on. Get my hustle on. Stay on my toes. Stay on the ideas. Stay on the— on pushing forward, creating the content, trying to make content better, unique, different, whatever.

I think out of all of them, I think Ryder's the best mom.

Why do you say that?

She paused eating alfalfa and went to find her babies.

Oh, I kind of like Ryder as a mother. Yeah, I'm kind of, I'm kind of feeling that too. She had her babies first, no problems. She's been letting us handle them, but she's also protective. That's step one to react to fear in a good way, is say, hey, what are you trying to tell me? And make change. The second part we're going to talk more about with Rebecca is when do you and how do you then push through that fear if you need to, and how do you know that? Those are some tough questions, but let's do our best to tackle them.

Let's go up.

Are y'all done?

Yeah.

Okay. Happy anniversary!

Thank you.

9 years you've been married. 9 years. You got to give us your best What marriage advice?

Uh, you have to give each other so much grace.

Oh, that's good. Give me an example.

Like in every way, like, you know, you sometimes you think like, oh, also like one more thing, like communication has to be like— because communication in the first of our marriage, that's the main problem we have in communication because her culture is different, my culture is different. Even like the same culture, yeah, still have like communication problem, you know. You have to think of that, okay, like in her perspective and my perspective. So she know my culture now well, I know her culture well. So we, so we know so how, where, you know, we can give the grace to each other.

So you guys had to learn each other's cultures and you just gave each other grace during that time?

Yeah, like, you know, because everybody has different personality also.

That's good. You just tried to understand each other.

Oh yeah.

And that's the grace.

Yes.

You gave yourself time to do that.

Yeah, yeah, because sometimes you don't have to— you cannot give up like in the first time, you know. I see like marriages because they don't want to work through, so that's why I say, okay, you go in your way, I go in my way, because it's hard. Marriage is hard, you know, it's not so easy, like, you know.

That's right.

Yeah.

You're from India and she's from America, that's drastic different culture, but there's different cultures Everybody brings to marriage, even if they're both from America, it's a different culture.

Oh yeah, but still like hard because we know so many people like say, oh, it's so hard, we don't want to sleep together like this. No, like, but you have to work hard, you know.

Arun just pointed out there was a loud bang last night. That was another wake-up. That was it, the wood pile fell down. Hey, I've been meaning to tell you guys something. See how dark it is? It's rainy, sun's not out, but look right here. Look in this hallway. It's bright. And guess what? There's no lights on. You say, how is that so? Here, here's the light if you don't believe me. Lights on, lights off. Guys, I think I was standing about right here and I showed you a shot how dark this hallway is. Here it is. How about let's get a shot right here Just to emphasize the darkness in here, although this camera is lighting it up pretty good. I mean, we can turn on lights, but wouldn't it be better to have solar tubes? Here it is now. You think you can hold the baby for a little bit now?

Yeah.

I was holding the baby. What, you want to film mom doing some laundry? Let's continue our conversation with her. What are you doing in here?

I am going to strip the bed and wash the sheets.

She's a busy bee. But first you're what?

I'm gonna buy these cloth diapers.

Okay. What's a recent fear you've had?

I'm nervous about the premiere.

Okay, talk about it. This is your premiere tonight.

Yeah.

It's your episode. What makes you nervous about that?

I don't like being the center of attention.

Yeah.

And I'm obviously the center of attention in this, and that makes me nervous. It's not who I am. Yeah. I'm not like, oh, I can't wait for everybody to look at me.

How do you push through that then?

Well, I don't have any options.

That's one way, isn't it?

Yeah, just to like— I think that may be our secret.

Oh, he's crying. It is hard. It is hard for you to get anything done.

It is.

What was that, 5 minutes maybe you got? Okay, bring that.

I'll get it started.

Okay, look how he stops crying when he's on you, kind of. This is a hard stage because he seriously doesn't give mom— sometimes he'll fall asleep and I'll be able to hold him and you can do something. So let's try this, Beck. You have to do this. There are some things you have to do. Well, what do you, what do you tell somebody when it's optional?

Oh yes.

And they have this fear. How do you, how have you gotten through that in the past?

I think that's, I think that might be the key to our success is that to push through fears that you don't give yourself an option.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Like, there's no option for me to like get out of tonight.

That's a very good point. That's because we've already said it.

Yeah.

We've already paid for it. We've already told everybody it's tonight at 6:00.

So, I mean like with the Great American Farm Tour we started the process, and then yeah, we got in and there was a lot of issues, but we couldn't not do it.

Yeah, like with the Great American Farm Tour, there were multiple times, countless times, how we're gonna pay for this, how are we gonna make through this physically, how am I gonna get up, it's 10 o'clock at night, and edit this video. That's interesting. Yeah, put yourself in a position where you have to do it. Yeah, you make some sort of That's good. Good work.

And then you don't— then you just have to face your fear.

Yeah. Can you give me 2 questions that you've asked that really help people face the fear? Can you think of the 2 questions?

I don't know. Is it, "What would I do if I wasn't afraid?" One.

Yep. "What would I do if I wasn't afraid?" Classic.

And then the other one would be, "How can I get through this?" Good.

The other one is, you said it in the show. You said it in episode 2.

You said your therapist told you, "Well, what happens if everything turns out all right?" And I was in therapy, and I talked to my therapist about having, you know, another child. And she said, "Well, what if everything goes right?" Like, 'cause I was like, "What if this? What if that?" You know, all these negative scenarios. And she looks at me and she's like, "Well, what if everything goes right and everything's totally fine?" And I was like, is that even possible? Because I was, because I was what-ifing all the negatives.

Yeah, we don't what-if the goods.

Well, what if you say it's all gonna be just fine? It's all gonna turn out the way you want it to.

Yeah.

What if? Well, for me, I definitely, um, what could be classified as catastrophic thinking. Like, the worst possible scenario is like where my mind goes first.

Yes.

And then you used to say to me all the time, you'd be like, 97% of your fears don't ever come true.

Something like that.

And I was like, okay, well, I'm focusing on the 3%. And then he's like, if you focus on the 3%, it's even less. Then it's even less because it's 97% of that 3% because it is 97% of the 3%.

You run out of percentages there, but you've had some environmental manipulation. So like improving your own life situation, improving your health. Yeah. Anything else you want to add to that, darlin'? You know, she has a hard time promoting herself, so I'm going to promote her for her today. Look how embarrassed. Come on, the women will love you.

Stop it.

Even the guys the other night were into the movie. Everybody was mad at us. You're gonna have to see why. You're gonna have to see why. If you're— I'll give you a hint. If you're watching this a month from now and Rooted episode 3 is out, you're not gonna be mad at us. You're just gonna— Let's go take a potty break. Let's, let's, let's get a snack. Let's go right back.

Yep.

Right? It's gonna be a perfect binge.

Yeah. Yeah.

So don't be too mad at us. Alright, you guys wanna catch Rooted at watchrooted.com. Link down in the description.