This Helps Me Grieve Dad’s Death #DoinItForBoots

My dad died yesterday. How you guys doing? Good. Mr. Brown wanting his snack. I think it's, um, That's why kids don't understand. Little kids don't understand. It's probably a good thing. Because they keep needing us, and it's good to be needed, and it forces us to move on. In a different way, too. Not think about it. Yeah. Otherwise we'd probably just stay stuck. We don't want the children, we don't want the little children to pull us out of it. We want to have our moment, but it's just how it is. So I got your snack, Mr. Brown. It's out there, buddy. You've been good to me too, Mom. Trying to be there for you. Everybody's hurting, but you've been good. Give me special attention. Well, it hurt. If it hurts me this bad, I can't imagine how much it hurts you. I didn't know him till I was 16, so— Yeah, you've known him your whole life, and he was a cop, so— Since day one. I wonder if Mom went to, like, you know, go grocery shopping at 9 or what, you know. Right. Um, let's go snack. So, I know he's quite whiny. I'm cold. I'm cold. On me. You can sit on my lap while I edit and eat snack. You're cold because you don't have any clothes. So at 10, Justin is meeting his siblings at— Do you want clothes? Papa. Or do you just want to sit on my lap like this? And since Friday, since they gave us the 1 to 2 month death sentence, I've been thinking about nature and how things— when things die, something does come to life. And I've been struggling to try to figure out what life is going to become of my death. I mean, it's a fact This isn't kumbaya, uh, blessing and everything bull-loney. This is a natural fact. Yeah, sure, there's mended relationships, there's new perspectives, and even what I spoke to yesterday, the tears in a very natural way are going to evaporate and become clouds and literally hail down rain on the earth and bring forth life. I have a headache. I need to get Moose out of here. I got, I got 1 hour. 1 hour. How you guys doing? You're doing good. That's good. Okay, you pull. We're going towards that gate right there. We're gonna have to just try to walk out of here the way they go. That ain't gonna work. All right, okay, you keep pulling him. Let's get on the other side of the fence. We got Cass and baby out. That's working. Jonah's pulling. I've got his tail. That works. But I still figured there was more. And so on Sunday, on Sunday, with two, two of my friends, I had this Joe moment. If you don't know the story of Job, tragic story, tragic loss. And I believe, if I remember right, a couple of friends came and just sat with him for days, just quiet. Nobody talked. We had that moment. It wasn't days, wasn't hours. Heck, it might not even been minutes. But I appreciate that Arthur and Jason just, just came next to me while I was putting away the tent, and they just sat there. And then Arthur got the courage to ask a question about it, and we had a good conversation. And one thing I asked them, given they have probably a fresh— well, they do have a fresh, non-attached perspective— what good is going to come of it? And Jason said— or I said, what life is going to come of it? And Jason said that time It may take time to tell. And Arthur— appreciate this from Arthur especially because this is more of a Justin answer than an Arthur answer. Arthur is so thoughtful and so deep, and he started talking about how, how really, how creatures or living beings were going to get inside the, uh, casket. Like, you know, nowadays they, they have these concrete caskets and And then I added, yeah, a name, Bomb. And, uh, but in the end, nature wins. I mean, even then, nature will overcome that and something will thrive in life from that. So I appreciate that. I just went to get the milk buckets and notice the cows are coming. They busted out. Flossie's down in the creek. They're desperate. Why are they acting so crazy? She's crazed. No, don't. Why are you getting her? No, she's crazy. Let her be crazy in that field for a little bit. You should probably shut that gate on her. Shut the gate on her, she's just gonna tear stuff up. So we're gonna let her be in there being crazy. It's like they sense it or something. That's enough. Hey, where's he going? We're gonna need to get him over here too, I guess. This was supposed to go peaceful. They've been letting me bring him down. Did he just go inside the barn? Hey Jonah, watch out! I don't know where he went. I think he went in the barn. Be careful. What are you doing? They've been going up every other day. Who cares if we took her? It just got crazy this morning. All right, let Big Daddy through and then drop the core— the lanes— and then put them back up. Can you behave yourself, stud? Last night we informed everyone, including you guys. A deep thank you for your responses. Overwhelming responses. It's so good that we're not in this alone. I can't just That has to be one of the single best things that ever came from this career, as good as it is. No complaints. It's the community that has surrounded us. Rebecca, my wife, has been amazing. She's hurting too, but she's there for me because I'm hurting more. Jonah, Josiah, stepping up and doing the chores. They're hurting too, but I'm hurting more. And they know that, and they're stepping up. Incredible. Could you put the alfalfa in, please? Appreciate your help, Jonah, more than you know, buddy. My friend Jason yonder way texted me. He's lost both his parents, and he said It will be a year of firsts. I didn't know what he was talking about at first. Well, now I do. Today is the first day without him. And my dad used to say, and he said it a lot, today is the first day of the rest of my life. So this is the first time milking without him. Jonah, I'll have, I'll have a fine grip to the very end, buddy. Following in your Papaw's footsteps. I might even have two. I might even have stronger because I've got two milk cows. I think he had one. Aunt Phyllis has been giving us less milk lately. That's maybe a gallon, guys, maybe a gallon. She's been given two, but watch this. She's just been holding back on us. Okay, watch this. So we've milked her. Jonah's getting Moose. Bring him on over. She's been holding off for him, holding back for him. And that's the hind milk, which tends to be the most creamy, creamiest milk. Watch, he's having a hard time. He's trying to get it going again, so we're gonna wait. Look, he's going real quick from one to the other, but when he latches on to one for a good bit, we're gonna know you got the milk flowing again. Yeah, there you go. Okay, so he got more. He, he's just been away from her at night, and you put her up— you put him up late, didn't you? Yeah, and we're milking early too because We gotta go to the funeral home. Yeah, I will say that right now. I appreciate everybody. You know what? I appreciate you hardcore fans. I appreciate you super fans. The vlogs have been off for a month. And just not at my creative game. Something's missing there. But you guys, you guys that are watching right now will watch anything I put up no matter what the title is, no matter what the thumbnail is, and you relieve some of that pressure. And this is my job, so I, I keep doing my job like anybody else would continue to have to work. So I'm fortunate at least that my job allows me to process this and document this. Whole process, and it wouldn't be if it weren't for you guys. So a very deep thank you for hanging with us through this. You know, I try to make every vlog have a happy ending, but every day does not have a happy ending, so I don't want to— I don't want to fool anybody. So thanks for sticking through. Only sad, sad ending vlogs. Then Cousin JD reached out to me and he had some really touching things to say. Other than that, I was his hero. I didn't know that. And then, what? Wow, you can't think of a better thing to say, buddy. So I appreciate being your hero. Well, do you remember Cousin JD? I see you're sticking with the cat shirt. Yep, loving that. Is that a cat you know, or is that a strange cat? Strange cat. Okay. We always have fun with Cousin JD. He's grown up coming and seeing us in the summer, and he still comes. 30-something years old now, with his lovely wife. Well, last time— and he comes with always something new and fresh and something fun. Well, this, this year he had this, uh, saying: doing it for Dale. Some of y'all know what I'm talking about. Doing it for Dale is a saying that these guys say, and they're doing it for the late Dale Earnhardt. And from what I can gather from JD, it's kind of stunt-ish kind of things. Like, for instance, JD did this for Dale. He mountain boarded down for Dale. Well, a little later I get a text from JD saying he went and watched the last vlog, which happened to be my birthday vlog, which happened to be the vlog I promoted this campaign to plant 20 million trees through Team Trees. And he said, I planted 20 trees. I don't know if he said hashtag, but has He said he planted 20 trees doing it for Boots. So golly, JD, first I'm your hero and then you plant 20 trees for my dad. I planted 1,000 for my birthday. Myself and promoted that campaign. But now it's like that lit a fire in me. I'm like, how can we make a dent in this thing? This sort of gave me a— now again, people are reaching out saying, what can I do? And there's really nothing. I mean, what can Ken Randall do on the other side of North Carolina, 8 hours away? Well, texts kept coming in. I said, you know what you can do? Go donate. Go to teamtrees.org. I don't get nothing from this, nothing but inner satisfaction that this is another life that is going to come from my dad's death. 20 lives JD created or was a part of in trees, and there's nothing better than trees that I can think of to plant in honor of someone. Nature doesn't stop, guys. Nature doesn't stop. So anyway, then I text, uh, my buddy Brian Harris, who checked in on me, a business buddy of mine, uh And then he went and donated. And then I told Yonder Way, actually, there is something you can do. And make sure in the comments you push #doingit, D-O-I-N-I-T, #doingitforboots, F-O-R-B-O-O-T-S. #doingitforboots. And hopefully we're gonna get the world's attention. We're gonna do this for Boots, and we're gonna put a huge bump in this campaign. They're already like 14 million trees. Let's get— and they want 20 million by the end of the year. Let's do that. Let's do it for Boots. Let's do it for Boots. We're about to have a sale on our physical merchandise for Christmas for folks. We're gonna donate portion of that. We'll know more details soon, but that's going to be a portion of that is going to go to this this trees thing out of our own pocket. Not too much, our boots would get upset. He was a shrewd businessman, and he is watching this, so, uh, I think he would appreciate that. Thank you, Jonah. How is she? You got her milk pretty good? Have you put out in the reservoir yet? Teamtrees.org. I'll leave the link in the description. Hey, what you got here, buddy? Let me see. Did you get some gallons? I think— let's try a little bit more. Hey, you want me to do that? Yes, please. Thanks, thanks, because Jonah's trying to put the cows up. I need to help him. They're acting crazy. I didn't know it was gonna be this hard. We're gonna do the lanes because they're acting nuts. I didn't imagine everybody would come through so strong either, like the comments, you know. And when he was dying, people were saying, you know, my dad, my mom died. I didn't know it's going to be this big of a deal. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry to all you who have lost someone. Come on. Yeah, open up their gate. We'll get them up there. So it's like, this is what happens when I have to step away for a week. Jonah does a wonderful job. He does a wonderful job, more than I could ever imagine or expect. But fences get down, you know, drains get clogged, batteries go dead on Energizers. Just like the, the not so mundane or routine tasks. So this is all residue. So they just walked over the lane because it was down. Yeah, honey. Come on. Got it. This is so Jerry. Yeah. Hey, will you check Lily's chores for me please? Josiah, you made us tea? He did. You are so sweet. Thank you. I was making me some, so I said I'd make you some too. Are you okay this morning, Josiah? Mm-hmm. You okay this morning, Fast Freddy? I mean, as well as it's gonna be, you know. Yeah. 2-hour meeting. It's totally peaceful. Uh, I get to speak at the funeral. Rebecca's sister, my dad has requested that she sing "Oh Danny Boy." but substitute Danny Boy with family deer. That'd be really good. All my siblings have a chance to speak if they want to. Hey! Hey hey! I got some editing done there. It's therapeutic for me. It's hard to see it again and live it so many times, but that's also healing for me. You can't see what I'm doing. Oh, okay. A wonderful breakfast. We're thankful for Anna this day. Uh, it's kind of a breakfast lunch. That's fun. It's a salad, a salad and some eggs. Hey, I'm looking for the big one. How are you doing, Lily? Good. She's getting, um, Josiah's birthday present. Okay, Rebecca. I think Papa like it. You might want to bring your tissues, babe. I'm gonna go meet the sheep. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go. You better go move the sheep. Jonah, did you move the luchadors? Okay, come on. Hey, I'm back on the afternoon chores. Like, it's too late, you know. We got like 25 minutes till supper. Uh, too much to do. Rebecca says we should get rid of the sheep. I mean, that's how she feels. She's not— I don't think she's serious, but it's tough. Like, we haven't been able to do it in a week. You've been holding this— you've been holding this farm together. Those sheep are— these sheep, all of them, feed them all. Yummy. Okay, all right, well No, we're not gonna— we're not gonna do that. We are too busy for it right now, but, uh, I need these sheep. I need something to do. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3. Oh, that's easy. You gotta steer it. I need you guys. I need you guys. You make me get outside. We're working together. That's what we're about, right? Get some fresh air. Hmm. Well, I see what you need. I need the sheep. You need to build something. You got your floor in? Cool. Are we going up? All right, cool. Oh good, you put railings on per your mama's request. Okay, I'm like nervous there. What's going there? A fire pole. Nice. Where are you gonna get the pole? Lowe's. Okay, well, this is legit, man. How the hell does it feel to build your first second story? Good. Good job. Wow, you guys look fat. They look very fat and happy. They're loving this. Yeah, they look like some good lamb chops. Yeah, they're doing good. Oh shoot, John, it's never been on. Luckily we got very mild sheep. Okay, we got 3 fence posts, or 3 fences, and one real far away still up. So let's go get them. All right, we got our crazy fence set up. It's crazy because we planted these fruit trees wherever. For silvopasture concept, I think we actually made a mistake because it's too hard to protect them. It gets crazy fences. It's ridiculous. So I think with fruit trees in the future, we need to plant like the, the Steven Sakowiak trio, at least 3, maybe 9, and plant them on contour and then wrap them all with electric fences. You know the sheep get out, right? Yeah. You're pretty confident, huh? Yeah. We're gonna run them down that chute, but how are we gonna get them from going through here? You're gonna stand there, man. You're just kind of picking that up. We didn't really come up with a plan. Are you sure you're not tangling that all the pieces? Okay, she just let the boss man do it. He's been doing it for a week. Okay, now how you gonna get them to go down in there? There. I'm going to hurt them. Okay. All right, hopefully they don't come right here. All right, let's see the sheep whisperer do it. Good call. Maybe eat these raspberries. Look at that, look at that. You're confident. I guess it's more to keep predators away from them than them in, because they're calm as all get-out, and you guys would have been stoked. Look at that set. They're adorable. We are on our way to have supper with my mom and 3 siblings from that marriage. Um, we're gonna wrap up this vlog, and I guess I should just wrap it up with thank you guys again for sticking by us. We're overwhelmed with the love, the concern, the prayers. It's good to have you guys with us. If you want to, if you're feeling saucy and you want to do something to comfort us, to in honor of Boots, plant a tree. Plant it yourself, like in the yard or on the homestead, or make a donation to Team Trees. Let's plant 20 million trees together by the end of the year. I'll leave a link down in the description. $1 equals 1 tree. I've already given $1,000. I've already planted 1,000. Wouldn't that be cool? And I— let's, let's use hashtag #doingitforboots. And let's make an impact in Boots' name.