A homesteading family drives from their farm to Washington, D.C. with a cooler full of raw milk, eggs, and broth because they won't eat the city's food. They tour the Natural History, American Indian, and Air and Space museums while joking about being crunchy hillbillies out of place in the capital.
Homesteaders of America, here we come! We might actually get out of here on time. 15 minutes. No, we're gonna leave that empty for picnics. Whoa, you guys have organized that well. We're getting good at this with these teenagers, and we might actually leave on time. Normally we're an hour late.
Yep.
Well, we can't check in till 4. It's about a 7-hour drive. An hour for lunch. We bring all our own food, guys. We're on a health journey. It'd be ironic to leave our homestead and just eat junk. What are we living for? We're not homesteading for, um, the number— well, the number one reason is for our health, so we're not gonna throw it away because we're traveling. So how many Yetis we got in there? A lot. We're packing our own milk. We're our own cream, our own sour cream, our own eggs. Soft-boiled eggs for me, regular eggs for them. Uh, broth. This is my GAPS cooler. Broth. I guess I was hungry when I packed it. We're not gonna eat that much. Beef bits. What's mine? There's no way you're gonna eat that much. We're not even gone for a week. Me especially. You just can't— you just can't go to the grocery store and get GAPS-friendly food. Cast iron pans. Stainless steel planes, plates, cups. By the way, we're bringing all our kitchenware too because usually Airbnb kitchenware is just Teflon-coated junk. Coffee grinder— we can't have any coffee. I can't have coffee yet. Uh, French press, no, Moka pot, spatulas, cutting board. Did you bring a cutting board? I guess we have an Airbnb stuff. 5-gallon waters, immersion blender. Yeah, no, we didn't bring that. Oh, Thermo Pop! Go get the Thermo Pop. Can't forget the Squatty's Potty, especially after a, uh, 28-day fast, you know what I'm saying? It can get kind of inverted down there. Okay, take them, but get your Keens also. We are so extra. I am aware, I am aware of this. This is probably partly why we live a homesteading lifestyle, because it's so healthy, so conducive for that. Just stay put, you know, get out, get the light in your eyes, the morning chores, get the cold exposure, sun exposure, exercise, good food. Travel is not conducive for the healthy lifestyle, nor city life. Soap, because then you're having to be dependent on someone. You have to import every single one of your Needs, and that's vulnerability. That's vulnerable. Laptop, laptop cord, SD cards. We're not taking the dirt bike. You're taking that? Yeah, on a business. Have y'all forgotten this is a business trip? It's our sort of a vacation. Why are you pulling for this? It's like he ran on the back. Don't forget the snacks right there. That's lunch. We can't just stop at McDonald's. All right, you get it packed? Okay, the farm's in good hands. We got Annie. Annie's back.
Bye, Chickens, bye!
You're in good hands with Annie.
Bye!
All right, we get hugs. Goodbye! Bye! You take care of the farm this afternoon. Bye-bye!
Bye!
Everybody forgot about Austin. Uh-huh. See you, little man. Hold it down. Well, I've been driving a long time. I've been driving so long.
Oh, whatever.
She drove the whole way. I've driven 5 hours. 6 hours. Over 5. Look, it says we're gonna arrive exactly at 4 o'clock. Let's go then. That was our goal. All right, I'm gonna go. Thanks, Mom. I got a lot of work done. A lot of work done. Or you vlog. Thanks. Get some proof that I drive every once in a while. 1 minute. Well, we're gonna be there at 3:59. How about that for time?
4:01.
Gonna go to DC today, but Gaps proceeds. Because guess what? Guess what? Scrambled eggs with everybody else. On our way to Washington, DC. The kids and mom, Holocaust Museum. Me and the little kids, the Museum of Natural Science. Lunch in the car. And then we're gonna hit up a museum together. Oh, then we're gonna hit the Indian Museum. For y'all, two very sad stories today.
I know, but lots of history. It's good, it's good.
We've dropped the big kids off. At the Holocaust Museum. Now we're going to the Museum of Natural History, which I think is like saying it's a science museum. We'll see. Brought rubber boots?
Yeah.
Where's your tennis shoes? They're at the Airbnb and you didn't wear tennis shoes. We're gonna walk miles today and you're gonna walk miles in rubber boots. This kid and his shoes. We didn't bring— I forgot the Ergo too, and he's already wanting carried. You're gonna have to walk.
I don't wanna walk.
Yeah, we're almost there, Henry.
I'm still walking.
You don't walk too much, do you, huh? Without stopping playing. We're there, look, there it is. Come on, we're definitely gonna have to catch the show. Let's go find this movie. I can sit down a little bit. I'm atrophied from that fast. No muscles. Ah shoot, it's not a show. We gotta walk through it. Okay, glass elevator. You ever been in a glass elevator, Henry?
No.
Done with the museum. Let's make our way to this car to meet the family. Big Mac lunch from Homemade Goods in the car. That's how Dedicated we are to this. Well, there's nowhere to eat. One, it's expensive, and two, there is no organic gluten-free options in all of Washington, D.C. That was affordable. So they don't get our vote. That was affordable. There was one, but it was very expensive. We're dedicated, man. It's hot in here.
It's so hot in here.
It's very hot in here. All right, we got about a mile walk to the American Indian Museum. I have not walked that long because of the fast. Over a month. I'll sleep good tonight. We've been rained out maybe a third of the way there. Figuring out if we're gonna do the Uber thing or tough it, or— there's some blue skies mixed in there. Will they prevail? The Museum of the American Indian. That was anticlimactic. Not much to see there. Thankfully Beauty got us some reservations at the Air and Space Museum. Hopefully that one's a little better. Don't be getting in it.
Come on.
Yeah, that's what you gotta tell the hillbilly farm kids when you go to town. That's, that's actually not a pond, y'all. That's a fountain. Air and Space Museum over. We're heading back to the Airbnb. We're tired. We might swing by the White House first though. You guys want to go swing by the White House? Say hey to Trump?
Stop it!
We are back. We are tired. First things first.
If I had to start my Homestead all over again, it could only pick one animal… 
