We Tried Urine Therapy

You could have $10 million or you could die and not wake up tomorrow morning. What would you choose? Of course you would choose to wake up tomorrow. There's no amount of money. We'll need this later. Oh yeah, you're not taking the money. Can you see?

No.

It's like we win the lottery every single day. Unfortunately, we get used to winning the lottery. Game changer, snaking the hose up here. Of course you can't do that in the winter. Jose and his crew We ought to have a railed deck. I got a question for you. Yeah, I'm gonna give you $10 million today. Yeah, but I take it you're gonna die tomorrow morning.

Oh yeah, no, we got too much to live for.

Yeah. Oh, the lamb died, huh? How'd her other baby do? Oh no, we'll just let the sheep out. We'll just let the sheep out.

Just that.

But should they eat this, like, on poop? It's fine. We're a little suspicious of her having mastitis. Vanilla, I hope not. She just cast. California mastitis test. You're all right, no mastitis. Jonah said, where is the cedar? And he says, let me show you, because she has organized the garden stall. Whatever you're doing, after you're done, you take it back. We're gonna cover up— uncover the carrots we planted 4 or 5 days ago, Annie. They don't need light to germinate. What happened? Look, every single potato is out of the ground. Who dug this up?

This wasn't Winnie.

Winnie doesn't dig potatoes like that. Oh boy, she is gonna have babies soon. She's just going at that lamb. She's gonna have babies, and I'm afraid Beefcake will eat those babies. In other news, Just got a text from Kaylee Hunestead. You want to know what color hives we want? Vanilla's milk's starting to come in. That means she gave us a gallon today. You guys settled in good?

Yeah.

It's gonna be a bit of a challenge to burn a green pile, you know. We just cleared this. I'd rather get this brush pile out of the way. That's a lot of pasture right there. Look at that boy. Thank you. I forgot to finish my thought earlier. The hives— what color hive do you want? I said, I don't know, I, I figured all beehives came in white. I guess I have no preference. She said hot pink it is. I don't think they're going to be hot pink, right? They're not going to be hot pink. My thought here is wood will definitely burn if we get it hot enough, so let's get it hot. A little bit of diesel fuel, pretty flammable but not nearly as flammable as Gasoline. Pretty hot. Yeah, you don't think it'll stay? Why not? Because it doesn't have anywhere to go. We might have to keep piling on. In fact, we should just pile it all up. Up. Town day.

Yep.

Rebecca, our pig's underline, swole.

No, I'm sorry. She's gonna have a baby soon.

Got me and you.

I am excited. A Papa Bear and a Mama Bear mug.

Okay.

Because we don't have enough mugs. There was a mug in there that said, my favorite people call me Grandma. I was like, I kind of want to get that.

For you. That's funny. Nobody calls you Grandma yet.

I know.

You're getting ready.

I'm getting ready.

Becca just remembered it's April Fools'. We should play an April Fools' joke on the kids. We should tell them we're not gonna eat meat anymore, only tofu and tempeh. No.

We should, I should come up with some sort of crazy regiment, like supplement regimen or something, and you need to go along with it. What happens if we do this? What happens if we say that we've decided that we're going to switch their room with the laundry room?

Which the laundry room is the—

root cellar.

The very janky root cellar.

So there's this thing where it's called urine therapy, where you drink your urine.

There you go!

We should tell the kids. Are you trying to scare them?

Okay.

That they have to drink their own urine. That's right.

But the little chocolate. We'll get the chocolate and put it in the pee cup.

I should say this. I don't want to laugh too hard because there, I guess urine therapy has helped people.

Buy some like paper cups you can't see through. Yes. Since you're on this, you got to go first.

Yes, and you got to act like you're gonna do it, okay? You gotta be like, no, we Listen to this podcast and it's really good and it's gonna help us.

She really went in there and got some pee cups.

So you're gonna be like, I'll go first, and you're gonna go and you're gonna pee in the cup or act like you're peeing. I guess you should pee in the cup and then we'll see if we can't get anybody else to go.

Yeah, somebody will be the lucky dog who goes first. Are we caught up on our planting?

Um, I don't know. I need to look at that.

Let's think, what goes good with the burger tonight? Definitely onions. Ketchup, of course. Cream, so good. Are cows in milk right now? Both our cows. Before we know it, we won't need to buy honey either. $3.50 per plant of strawberries. 2 racks of strawberries, is that $36? You've counted for all our rows, right? So these are gonna have to go into the green stock.

I haven't accounted for all the rows, but I think they should go in the green stock.

Okay, stoke that fire. Yeah, stack some stuff on it. Oh good, we're gonna set this trick up on the kids. Yes, hold on. Okay, you put the chocolate in the, in the cups and you put it in the bathroom and I'll get everybody here. Okay, Lily, where is everybody?

Um, I think I saw Josiah and Jonah driving by.

There they are. By the way, 36 strawberry plants. Got a special idea for those. We're going to do that tomorrow, and I'll give you a hint: it would be a great solution for somebody without a lot of space. We're gonna have a meeting. Come on. Oh, he says we're gonna see who's the most compliant. I'm like, my feet are always hurting. Mom's got her own illnesses. Well, we don't want that for you guys. And this thing, it may sound strange, we heard all about it on a podcast and it's working for so many people. Yes, and it costs no money. It's called urine therapy. You pee a little bit. Jonah's face. You pee a little bit, you pee a little bit in a cup, and then we dilute it a lot with water. No, Mom and I have already done it.

Yeah.

Okay, come on, get in. I'll help him. I don't think he's ever peed in a cup.

They want to know how many times they have to do it.

Uh, let's just try it once today. So only this much, maybe even a little less. Who's gonna be the first? No, just a little bit, maybe even half of that. It's the health benefit, is it your own pee, right? Yeah, somebody else's.

Yes. No, I'm gonna go make my tea. Your cup is in the, in the back.

You're gonna go outside? Jonah's going first. All right, you see the cups up there?

Okay, did you get your cup? Did you see something in it?

April Fools! April Fools! April Fools! Hey, we got the obedient one. We know who's gonna obey.

It's April Fools!

It's April 1st!

You're not gonna make him do it? I'm having such a hard time keeping a straight face.

Yeah, it does. Were you gonna do it? Aww, aww, I'm so proud of you.

Nothing was I'm not gonna do it.

Tell the honest truth, were you gonna do it?

No.

Are you upset at us? No, I just don't have to drink pee. No, but you can drink pee, and that is actually a thing. You're in therapy. I'm not kidding.

What did you think when you saw that? I was just like, they're trying to soften the blow.

Oh, see, that's why she came in there. They're finished up in here. The glow of 2 weeks from the grease fire happened right there. Nothing burned, burned, but the smoke and the fire anywhere so damaged. It's gonna be a while before we get cabinets. They ripped up the floors. I don't smell anything. They get rid of all the smell. We're gonna be close enough to our dream house before this is done. I think I'll keep this office over here though, right? Maybe get some quiet time. A few moments later. It's amazing what you can get done in an hour when it sounds like this. Work. I got to work. Mostly I worked on this bee workshop coming up this weekend slash course. I mean, it's bees, they sting. I've never had bees. I always get nervous getting started with a new element on the farm, but none of them have been capable of stinging yet. Got an old broody hen, she's ready to sit on some eggs. We're doing the old creek thing. I've done this in the past, but I think I dipped her too quick. Annie does it for 5 minutes. She's gonna hate you.

Oh yeah, she is.

She floats. If you didn't hate water so much, you might be like a duck. You could swim, right?

Well, she's pushing her legs up on me.

Oh, it is pretty cold.

She's in that broody, like, ooh, I'm ready to lay on some eggs, just like you said. But if we bring her body temperature down, maybe we'll trick her into thinking like, oh, you did it, good job, girl.

I'm gonna go. I have to supposed to be grilling right about now. What are y'all making?

Uh, we've got— buns are in the oven. You want to see them?

This is real quick in a pinch. Oh, I feel like we're back to normal. Burgers are back on.

I feel like it is with buns.

Shoot, I came up here, I totally forgot to vent this. Relit things, open this up pretty wide, drawing in air in, pulling air out. It's raising pretty quick. It's taking about 45 minutes to do it, so we're wrapping up the last one. They've come out 5 Fabulous. I didn't eat today till now. I've eaten about almost 2. Hey, what's going on with our table?

It's a little rough.

What a meal, guys. What a meal. What a day. Let's see what these guys got done today.

Whoa, this looks so nice.

Wow, that is legit sturdy. This opening—

I know, it's such a nice big opening.

Hard for me to imagine we're gonna live like this because we've been living tiny so long. VIP lounge. Look out here and look at that view. It's the next day, but I got to tell you the story. So Mom and I were laying down and Josiah comes in, Pop, there's somebody outside. I rush over to turn off the light in the living room. I peer through the blinds and sure enough, I see a light flashing coming down the hill. There's somebody in our field. And then I look right out there and about right through there, I can see with their headlamp they've got a one of our chainsaws. Rebecca's in there. I try to get a better look outside. I turn the light off. I peer out there. They get in our Suburban. I hear Rebecca shout, "They're taking the Suburban!" I say, "Call the police quick!" Yeah, because I could see them in the light. Quick, Becky! And she goes to— we had to turn on the internet, but we don't have a landline over here. She goes turn on the internet to call them back. And Josiah— what do you say, Josiah? It's just Jonah. April Fools! It's just Jonah. April Fools! Look at his face. He's so proud.

Well, you know, he had asked me earlier, did Papa bring any guns over here? And I was like, I didn't want to get shot.

Josiah told me they kept Josiah in here so that we wouldn't do anything stupid.

They're going through our car. They're going through. They're getting in our car.

Shut up.

La la la la la, let me be free.