Justin RhodesAbundant Permaculture, LLC · Boss

You Want This More Than You Want Love

Name: You Want This More Than You Want Love
Uploaded: 2025-02-20T14:00:20+00:00
Duration: 54 s
Channel: Justin Rhodes
Description: In this reflective YouTube monologue, the speaker recounts the rapid passing of his father, emphasizing the father's calm acceptance of death and lack of…

20 Feb 2025 · 1 min

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In this reflective YouTube monologue, the speaker recounts the rapid passing of his father, emphasizing the father's calm acceptance of death and lack of fear. He shares a poignant exchange where his father, even in his final moments, jokes about watching the speaker's vlogs in heaven and, more importantly, offers a humble affirmation—"You got her looking really good up there"—signifying paternal pride and validation of the speaker's perspective. The speaker interprets this acknowledgment as a profound blessing and a release, underscoring the emotional truth that seeking a father's pride can feel more essential than seeking his love. The narrative weaves themes of mortality, legacy through digital media, and the deep yearning for parental approval.

Chapters

Fortunately, my dad went down really fast. You know, he didn't have to suffer long, and neither did we. You know, I get the guts to ask him a few questions like, are you afraid of dying? No, I'm not afraid of dying. I thought about it when I was 12 or something, and I faced it, and I decided I wasn't afraid. I'm not afraid. Good. Are you still watching the vlog? And that's when he mumbled, heck, if— when I die, I'll be popping those vlogs to heaven. One thing he said, I'll never forget it. He'd say, after we started talking about the sheep move, he said, "You got her looking really good up there." And that was his way of saying, "You were right." It didn't make him wrong. It was his, in his most humbling way that he could muster, to say, "You're right." He said, "You got her looking good up there." And he knew what he meant, and I knew what he meant. And that was a wonderful blessing. That was a wonderful release before he went. Because remember, you want pride from your dad even more than you want love.