Ellen Marrs

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All right, here we go. Born in Georgia, this guest was adopted at the age of 11. After the death of her biological mother in 2001, she moved to Arizona where she attended Arizona State University and met her husband on a blind date. She broke the mold as the first ever female aircraft mechanic for Delta airlines sheet metal department, has run the Boston Marathon three times and completed a 12 and 12 race challenge while pregnant. She she is a mom to seven and serves as a foster parent. We aren't sure there is anything this guest cannot do, so we are in for a beautiful conversation today. Please welcome Ellen Mars.

Wow. Dang. That bio just makes me hurt. Just thinking about all the things you've done already. That's awesome.

Makes me tired.

Yeah, I bet. Okay, well, let's get started with what.

We call Rapid fire.

Okay, you go ahead, Sarah.

Would you rather spend a day with your best friend or a party with everyone you know?

My best friend.

Phone call or text message?

Text message.

Okay.

Favorite superhero?

Wonder Woman.

All right.

Dine in or delivery?

Delivery.

What is the last book you read?

Trusting God.

Your hobby of choice?

Running?

I think I might know the answer. But would you ever ride a bull?

Yes, absolutely.

In your teen years, what was your favorite song?

Oh, my goodness. It would have to be something by Michael Jackson. I'm sure, but I can't remember.

All right, one day with any person, living or not, who would it be?

My sister.

And last question. I think we both know this answer.

Sarah.

Glass. Half full or half empty?

Half full.

I would have guessed right. Okay.

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Oh, my gosh, we're so fortunate to have you here today. Yeah.

Thanks for being on the show with us.

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Good. Well, so what I like to start off with, of course, is getting into the very beginnings of all the things and talk about where you started home life when you grew up and what that was like.

Yeah. So I had a pretty difficult childhood. I learned after the death of my biological mother that you mentioned that the person I thought was my dad was not my dad, and he decided he didn't want to raise children that weren't his. So I was literally taken to someone's doorstep and said, no one wants to take care of you or raise you, so you can either stay here or you can go to a school for wayward girls. And, of course, I decided I would rather stay where I was dropped off. And I was eventually adopted. And it led to what I believe. God was preparing me to be a foster and now adopted mom. Because I have so much of that experience that I can pull from, it doesn't mean it's any easier, but I do have a lot. There are a lot of similarities between my story and my children that I've adopted. So as tough as it was, I really believe I was being prepared for something bigger, which is what I'm living, what I'm living out.

Absolutely. I. I can't even begin to imagine. And I'm wondering if you look back on that moment or that time period in your life, what is it that you were tapping into intrinsically? Like, how do you get through moments like that?

Well, I didn't. I have. I had a lot of thoughts of why me? Why. Why should I even care? No one wanted me. I've been told later in life as I share my story, that there were people who said they would take me if no one else would. And that was actually more of a wound than just thinking no one wanted to take me. But what. Originally, I was still reeling from the grief. My mother died on Thanksgiving Day. And then just in February, the following February was when I was left on someone's doorstep. So I had not fully grieved my mom, my own mother. But the worst part for me was I had a younger sister that I had basically been caring for because my mother was sick for quite a while, and. And the separation from her was the hardest. Being away from my little sister and not knowing what was going to happen to her was difficult. And so all I was doing Was just trying to keep my head up and move forward. And I do have to say my parents, the ones who adopted me, really had to work through a lot of child trauma and things that they had never experienced or dealt with. So all I was trying to do was just get up every morning and get through the day. But I eventually felt that safety and security and did not have as many behavioral issues going forward. But it was not. My teen years were pretty tough because at 11, that's when this really started to unfold for me.

Yeah, I can. Yeah, I'm sure teen years were.

Teen years are tough anyway.

Still 11, that's like what, fifth, sixth grade somewhere in that range.

Yes.

Boy, that's a lot of uncertainty in a life at that time.

Right. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old now and I look at them and I think I remember feeling much more mature and older than they seemed to me. And it was because of what had happened to us at such a young age. We had to deal with really big grown up problems before, before I was even actually a teenager. So. Yeah, so my, I really grew up quickly and I think that's why I have this motto of I'm going to do everything I can before my time is up. I'm going to live life to the fullest. So yeah.

What about high school then? So you're in a different situation, but you have adopted parents now, right? What was high school like? Where was that at?

Much better. Because when they adopted me, I think it was a blessing that I was moved almost two hours away from where I would was living originally. So it was almost like I got to start fresh. Almost like I started fresh. When I moved here to Arizona in 2001. I had kind of a second chance for new friends, people who didn't know my backstory. So my actual high school years, when I, after I was adopted, I was moved from northeast Georgia down to on the other side of Atlanta in the southern side of Atlanta. And people didn't really know me, they didn't know my story. So I could just really start with a clean slate. And I had pretty much a normal childhood like most people would. I was again ready for my first job when I was 13, when I, you know, by 16, I was working at the mall. And before I was ever 18, I was working for Delta Airlines.

Wow.

Yeah. So I was always looking forward to the next thing, the next big thing usually.

So in those high school years, what kind of things did you gravitate toward? Like was there athletics or clubs or.

Yeah. So I seem to be. And this kind of filters through. I seem to be, like, in the administrative role of pretty much everything. If it was drama club, I was the house manager. You know, if it was band, I was helping organize the song list. Like, there was all those kind of things. And I pretty much had, I think, the most diverse friends group of anybody because I hung with the cheerleaders, I hung with the band people, I hung with everybody in between. And that's really kind of still. My life now is just looking for the people. I have kind of gravitated. I see that I gravitate to the people that maybe don't quite always fit in. And I want them to see, like, there's hope. Like, don't. Don't hold up, don't let back. Don't. Don't keep yourself from pursuing big things just because you don't feel like you're like everybody else in the crowd.

What'd you play?

What? In the band? Flute.

Flute. I was just gonna guess flute. I knew it.

Now I wish it would be drums. I would love to be a drummer.

I can relate to gravitating towards that administrative or orchestrative role. I think for me, it was always. Because it was a place where I could find peace in the control of it. Like, it was an organization of my thoughts.

It's true. And we see that in foster care. And of course, I see it in myself now. There was something that happened to me at a very young age that I had zero control over. I had no say, so I had no. I had no way of making a decision for myself at that age. And so I was always looking for those things that I could be the decision maker. And so when you can control when things get done or how they get done, that's. I think we're gifted that way based on our experiences.

Absolutely.

Do you think back on those back to the high school still area of your life? Was there anybody that stood out as a mentor or a guide or anybody that kind of helped you? It seems like you're pretty independent because you had to be. But was there anybody you leaned into then?

Yeah. So I had a lot of what I would call favorite teachers, but they always seemed to be the hard ones. You know, we had one. My English teacher was Dr. Remick, and we had to call her doctor. And she was tough, and nobody really liked her, but I was kind of intrigued by the way she treated us. But I will say the most influential teacher that I had is the one who told me I would never amount to anything. I'm one of those people. If you tell me I can't do it, I will do it, or I will die trying. And he told me in 11th grade that he didn't see my future as bright, and I didn't really have what it took to succeed, so I made sure I did.

I'm pretty sure you're not going to get Sarah to laugh in this session today, just so you know.

I just always. I am surprised at how often we actually hear that story from our leaders of teachers who had that type of influence. I'm almost wondering at this point, like, is it something that they're saying? Because they actually do see, like, they want to give you a motivator, and it's shocking to me.

Yeah. Because maybe they see what they think will propel you. But there's some kids that could be crushed by that.

And it's not intentional, probably on their part, but in a way now it's like reverse psychology in a way, right?

Oh, yeah. But I would never think of telling my. I'm just the opposite. Like, I look at a child, I don't care. We're big believers in my household, and if someone says, I'm gonna like me. I'm gonna run the Boston Marathon, there were so many people that said I couldn't do it. And because of that, I have to show them. But not everybody's like that. You could crush a kid or you could crush an adult by saying things like that to them.

So, yeah, you could.

Okay, yeah, no, me first, Ben. Me first, of course. How did you find Delta? Or how did Delta find you while you're still in high school?

That's a great question. So one of my first jobs after the mall was working for an accountant who did taxes in our city there. And I was just a paraprofessional helping in the office. And there was a pilot who walked in one day, and I handed him his tax returns. He said, wow, you sure are, you know, pretty put together for a young kid. And I said, well, I've had to be. You know, I grew up pretty quickly, and over the course of us just meeting every once in a while in the office, he one day said, have you ever thought of working for a big company? And I said, like what? And he said, well, I work for an airline. Have you ever thought of working for the airline industry? I hadn't at that time, but I did have some foreign languages in my back pocket. And so when I went to interview at Delta, he kind of showed Me the ropes of how to. And they were hiring at that time for someone to clean the labs, the toilets. And I was. He said, take whatever you can get because once you get into the company, you can transfer around. And so I went in thinking that's what I'd be doing is cleaning the cabins. But they flipped my resume and saw that I spoke French. And they said, oh, you speak French and you speak Spanish? Do you want something different? And I said, what you got? And I became an interpreter on their international concourse. But eventually, the way I became a mechanic was again, a friend heard that I wanted to be full time. At that time I was part time as an interpreter and. And he said, he called me up and he said, look, I know you're kind of tired of these long shifts over on the international concourse. We have a pilot program and we need, basically we need a woman to see if she can prove that she can do this. And I said, well, tell me what's involved. Yeah. Well, he evidently saw something or he just thought I would do it or die trying.

Right?

And so when he offered it to me, I said, what is involved? And he says, well, no more of those crazy shifts. You'll be working Monday through Friday, 9 to 5, but you'll be working with all men. And I said, wow, throw me in that tar pit. And so they literally took me over and I spent six weeks in a training course with all men, and they put me to the test. And then I went on to become an aircraft mechanic. I worked in their sheet metal shop for 14 years. I was with Delta. And the last part of that, the last 10 years or so were as an aircraft mechanic.

So mechanic, though, where did that come from? Has that been in you and you just didn't know it?

Well, the person that I told you was who I thought was my father, he was an auto mechanic. But I never tinkered with tools or anything. Literally an opportunity for me to get a full time, great job with great days off and holidays and what have you. And when it was presented to me, I thought, why not? Let's go see what will happen. And it was tough. I mean, I had some really hard times trying to prove myself. I couldn't ask for help. You know, your normal guys would say, hey man, come over and give me a hand. If I did that, it was because I was a girl. And so there was a lot. But then eventually I proved myself and I really, I mean, when I decided to come to Arizona in 2001, a lot of those same guys that were giving me grief. They were the ones shedding the tears and saying goodbye and giving me presents and. Yeah, so it took a while, but I fit in. I eventually fit in. And I liked sports, and so I could at least have a conversation with people. They would meet around my toolbox and ask questions on Monday morning and see if I watch the games and those kind of things.

Well, thanks for being a trailblazer. That's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't easy, but I'm really glad I had that experience.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Okay, so I'm curious, though, Goem is still sticking with S thread, what was, like, the most interesting aircraft you worked on? Because this was mostly just commercial lines, right?

It was all Delta Airlines airplanes. It was all there. And really the most of what we were doing was 727s and 737s. And it's the thrust reverser, which is what basically stops you at the end of the Runway. You're hoping that there's no problems with the thrust reverser and. Yeah, so I would do anything from the cowlings. A lot of riveting, a lot of welding type things, grinding the welds down and things like that. And it was pretty boring because in most people's mind, they see the big part of the airplane sitting in a hangar. I was in a shop where they take the engine and all the parts off and bring them to us. So we're literally working on parts of planes. Of course, it's fun when you're on a plane and you can tell the person next to you, yeah, I probably riveted that rivet right there on the wing, you know, but it wasn't a flashy job.

Okay, so how do you get to Arizona? And how does college fit into this equation?

Well, she flew, obviously.

Tools worked, so got me here. Crazy thing was, because of my administrative bent, when I was an aircraft mechanic, they started having a lot of different volunteer events, charity events. And because I was one, the only female in our department and the only one that really wanted to help organize things, I got really involved in community service events and coordinating volunteers. We would have charity softball tournaments and things. And one night I literally ended up having an office with my toolbox so I could be working on the floor, but also help with administrative stuff in our specific department. And I just heard this charity event being discussed on the radio, and I thought, wow, that'd be something really cool to get involved with. But I didn't realize the show I was listening to was syndicated and the Charity event was here in Arizona. So when I called to see how I could personally get involved, they gave me the details of it. And I said, oh, I don't know if I could help, because the big charity thing they were doing were flying teddy bears to Brazil to donate and pass out at orphanages. And I said, well, I don't know if I could help, but what are you looking for? And the lady said, we need bears, but you need to drop them off at, like, Fry's grocery store. I said, I don't know what Fry's is. And that's when I realized that it was not a show in Georgia. And so, long story short, Delta, I reached out to my counterparts at Delta, and Delta ended up flying the teddy bears down, covering the cost, flew the CEO and his wife of the company down to Brazil. And the only thing that they asked was that I go with them and represent the airlines and take photos and report back so that they could show this to the community partners. And because of that connection, one of the people that work for that company decided to step away from her job. And she called me one day and said, I know you'll never leave Delta, but I was wondering, and I'm just going to give this to you. I don't. I want to step down and go home and take care of my children. Would you ever consider taking my job here at this organization? I looked at the opportunity and I said, well, Delta has this program. I can take a two year leave of absence. So I did, and I came out to ASU to try out this job. But because of Delta's program, I could easily go home after two years if I didn't like it. And so I had a secure job. But unfortunately, when I came here, right after I got here, nine, 11 happened. And that's when Delta basically went out to all of the employees and said, if anyone wants to, if you're on leave and you want to stay on leave, we will give you a severance package and some other things, some benefits. And I had fallen in love with Arizona, and I took the severance package and I stayed. I fell in love with the state and never. Well, I did go back home for a little while because of sick family members, but this is where I met my husband.

Okay, so just goosebumps. I mean, how a literal miracle it is. That's amazing.

My life is riddled with miracles from the time, I mean, probably since I was born, but from the time I was adopted forward, my whole life is as a miracle story.

Wow.

Yeah.

Okay. So you're in Arizona now?

Yep. And I was at the gym working out, and I. I worked at a gym, and these two guys overheard me complaining about Valentine's Day. I was like, valentine's Day is such a ridiculous holiday. All it is is for men to schmooze up with chocolate and jewelry and what have you. And I. I made some really funny comments at the gym, and these guys overheard me, and they're like, you know, we know a guy. And so again, long story short, they said, we know a guy. And I was like, sure, you do. And they took my information down, and they said, oh, he'll give you a call. He's single, too, but he speaks Spanish. And I was like, well, lucky me, I speak Spanish, too. The way they said it, I thought they meant he only spoke Spanish. But that wasn't the case. And, yeah, we went out on a blind date. Our first date was actually. Bear in mind, I was in my early 30s and my first blind date. It just so happened my parents were here visiting from Georgia. So he met me on my first date. I was with my family, and so he met my parents. Whoa. Yeah, he waited a little too long to call. So when he did call me, I had a little fun with him and pretended I didn't know anything about him. And then when I kind of came clean, he said, well, I was. This is how he said it. He said, I had plans this weekend, but they got canceled, so I wanted to see what you were doing. And I thought, wow, that's a real dumb way to start off a conversation.

I'm plan B. I'm happy to be the counselor.

So I said. I said, yeah, sure, but my family's here. So it would be our first date with my mom and dad. And my mother. We were in the car, and she said, are you kidding? Like, asking me if I had lost my mind? And he said, just, can I call you back? And he hung up. And I said, well, I got rid of him. And sure enough. And one hour later, he called back and said, if you're nice enough to ask me, I should be nice enough to go. But do you know what he was doing for that hour? Calling every single friend he had, asking if he should go on this first date. And not one person told him he should. Everyone said, are you crazy? Not go on that date. And we just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last year.

So much for crazy.

That's it.

So he also likes a challenge. I can see.

Yes. Yes, we are a great balance. I'm the crazy One that's always going forward. He's the balance, the patience side of our marriage. So, yeah.

Yeah, there you go. Opposites attract.

Yep.

Okay.

They do.

Okay. So now you're here in Arizona. You're. You've. You found this guy, and you're in a new foundation.

Yes.

Talk about that.

Well, when I got here, I started with that company, and very quickly I realized that company was not for me. And so the woman who had offered me her job, she was not as satisfied at home as she thought she would be. So we literally switched. I became a nanny for six children, and she went back to the office and worked.

Her six children?

Yes. So she had. That was the whole reason she wanted to leave the job and stay at home with her children. And that's why I came to take her job. But I was here pretty quickly. I realized, like, this was probably not the best. I still had ASU and I still had Delta to fall back on, but by that point, I had met the man that's now my husband. And so I ended up working for her for a while until they had, you know, a permanent solution. Then I started working for a church here nearby and worked at that church for 16 years. And so started out as a volunteer, but. Yeah. And so I only stayed in that job, I think, before the end of the year. So I moved out here in May, and by. By Christmas, I was already as a. I was already working as a nanny.

Wow. All right. I know. You now are at a place where you have seven children.

Correct.

And journey includes adoption and share with us a little bit of what that journey looks like. Sure. Raising your family and keeping all of these balls in the air.

Sure. We actually decided to become foster parents in around 2010, and in the foster care system, obviously, Arizona has a huge crisis still today of just needing more families. And so my husband and I decided we wanted to be a part of that because of my own experience, but we really wanted to adopt. We didn't consider fostering. And then through time and just a lot of consultations with people in the adoption arena here, we realized that they needed people to consider not just adoption, but fostering short term. So we eventually did that for a while. And of course, if you're ever part of that, you realize there's usually a conversation that says, would you be willing to adopt? And we fostered two boys for two years, and they eventually went home to their biological parents. So that in the state, size is a win. It was very grief filled for us and our two biological children at that time. But we quickly were placed with two girls. And over a very short time after we got them, we found out there were actually four children. And it's very hard to place a sibling group of four. And we had two of them that at that time were considered special needs. So we had to make a big decision. And in the midst of that, we found out we were pregnant, and we had dealt with miscarriages. And so we were really going back and forth. Do we foster? Do we adopt? What is happening? And eventually we were asked if we would adopt all four, because we had tried to help find a family that would adopt all four, because our plan, we had already switched it over to we're going to foster, because they really need foster families. But we could not find a family that would take all four. And so eventually, when I was four and a half months pregnant with our now third biological child, the state asked us, would you seriously consider adopting them? And I remember that day, I was driving in the car with my husband, and I had the phone in my ear, and I said, they want us to adopt all four. And he said, tell her we'll call her back because we got to pray. And so I said, we need to pray about this. We'll call you back. And there was never any discussion. We knew that this was what was meant for us. So we adopted all four. We actually went from two to seven children in nine months in 2014. We started the year with our two biological children, and by Halloween of that year, we had seven children in our house. So everything had to double. We had a bigger car, we had more beds. Everything had to increase in size. And we tell people, we survived 2014. We can do anything. Because I woke up on my 45th birthday with a newborn in my arms and four other children that were ready to bond with me. And that was probably the toughest time of my life. But again, I drew on my own experiences, and I had my parents to call up and say, did. Did I do this? Did I ever do that? And there were a lot of similarities that we were able to notice. So I felt like this was meant for us to do.

I'm curious, when you look back on that time, if you could tell yourself something then, from your point of view now, what would you tell yourself?

We're going to be okay. Yeah. My husband had to tell me that a lot. Because that morning that I said I woke up on my birthday, I said, I don't want to do this. I actually said, I'll be 100% honest. I said, we can't do this. Please take them back. Because I had a newborn literally in my hands. And I said, we can't. How are we going to do this? We literally now have seven children. And he said, there is enough of us to go around. God is always going to protect us. I mean, my husband is the rock in our family. He is the person that you go to when you're freaking out because he'll calm you down. And he said, everything will be fine if you get up and move, we'll be okay. And I did exactly what he asked. And yeah, and I say that to other people too, because fostering and adoption is a very tough road to walk. But if you look back, all my friends that have adopted or fostered, even if it was a tough situation, they all can tell you it'll be okay. You know, it's going to be rough and you'll have terrible situations you'll have to endure sometimes, but it'll be okay.

I can see now why you took up running as a hobby.

Yes, yes. And people say, I can't believe you run 26.2 miles. I said, no, don't think about me. My husband follows me on 262 mile routes with 7 kids in a van he drove. Actually the first year I ran Boston, he drove from Phoenix to Boston in a van with all seven of our kids. And at that time, well, that was five years ago now, so my oldest would have been 14 and my youngest was five. So he had seven kids and drove all the way to the Boston starting line to be near me. So, yeah, we give props to him. Forget me. I have a board that has all of my medals on it and it says 26.2 miles of peace and quiet. That's the way I like it.

Yeah. Not to mention all the training to get to that point. Right.

There's a lot of that, a lot of running. And I have this great little pit crew. All of my kids, you know, they're out there with water bottles or peanut butter or clean socks or whatever I need. And yeah, so we have our own little race crew if we need it.

So lots of follow up questions here. You made me think of your sister that you guys did. You guys end up getting back together or you stay separated? Because we never, I don't think you said what happened there.

Yeah. So my younger sister, my biological sister, I haven't seen her in more than a decade. When children are separated, the way that we were in a very traumatic situation, you see a lot of things. I had an older biological brother and a younger biological sister. We later found out that we were all half. We didn't know that either until I was, you know, we were all split apart. And I haven't seen my older brother in decades. Now, that's my younger sister. That, and I haven't seen that much of her. She's had some issues, which we all do, but I just haven't seen her. But my. The one I said I wish I could see, that's my adopted sister, and she passed away in 2021. So I actually have more connection with my adopted siblings than I did with my biological. Because we all went in different directions.

And they were all from the same adoptive parents that you had.

My biological parents, yes. Yeah, they were my adopted parents. Their two children. Those are the ones that I was more connected to than my biological ones. Yeah.

Okay. Now, the ages of all these kids at the time you guys adopted them. Newborn. So first of all, that's a lot of crazy right there. No wonder you wanted to get out.

Yep.

Lack of sleep. Oh, yeah. Okay. But what were the age of the kids plus the newborn?

5, 4, 3. 18 months and a newborn. I had five under five, which. If you know anything about the adoption process in Arizona, it's actually, they don't allow you to have five under five. So my husband and I even, you know, in the midst of us waiting on our child to be born, we were having to deal with state regulatory issues and literally had to offer up our licensing just to allow them. Just to get them to allow us to have all the children. Our big goal was not to have these four children split apart like I was. From my. You brought up a great question. I did not have the relationship with my biological siblings, and I was going to do everything I could not to have these four children be split up like that, because we had a lot of people that said, I'll take one, I'll take two. I'll take this one and that one. No one wanted to keep them together. And so I had vowed that I would never. We would never split siblings if we could help it. And so we didn't. But, yeah, we had five under five. Two of our children that were adopted were born in the same year. So one was born in January, one was born in November, and then the next two came years. So I have stair steps. We joke. When we started them all in their preschool and our church nursery, I could walk down the hallway in our church, and there was one of our children was in every single classroom all the way down the hallway. So. Yeah, and they were really close together.

And alongside raising a family, you're still working and accomplishing things professionally as well. How did you find that balance and what were some of those pivot points for you or your proud moments?

Yeah. So one of the big things that we decided to do when my oldest daughter and my oldest son were in kindergarten, first grade, we decided to homeschool. So I was actually homeschooling them as well. And so I wasn't just working and homeschooling again. That order and organization, I really thrived on that. I thrived on creating a schedule. And if you've ever been around children in need, they thrive on a schedule. They love boundaries because they've never had that kind of capacity to know, like, is this okay? Is that okay? And so I was really proud of the fact that we didn't misplace any children. That was always our joke. A good day is when we don't lose a child, right? When we've got them all corralled and they go in the same place. But I guess the biggest success, I guess, out of all of that is seeing how well they're doing. All of my children are doing well. They're children. They're going to have problems. But to see where we started and where we've come just in the 10 years, because this is our 10 year anniversary year this year that we adopted the four. And to just see how God has worked through even the toughest situations and put them all on these. They're all different, obviously, but in really successful tracks. We are really excited for their future and what they do. So I'm. My proudest moment, I guess, is just to see how God worked in each one of their lives differently. But all are moving forward. We don't have anyone that's stuck in trauma or stuck. And we will still deal with that forever. Just like me as an adult, I deal with it. But I'm really happy to see that our kids are not stuck in that.

So Your youngest is 10 now?

She is. She just turned 10 this week.

Fun, fun, fun. Okay, I want to hear about this 12 and 12 thing going on. Tell me about that.

Yeah, so a big pivot in my life and especially with the whole goal thing was in 2012 where I went to this business event and they sat us down and there was this personal development aspect, which I had never even heard the term. And I just thought I came here to learn how to build a business. I don't know what this, all this. Who nanny Is, you know, they want you to write down your goals as if they've happened in the present tense. And I was like, this is so weird. Like, what are we doing here, people? And everybody else is just writing away. And I'm sitting there sweating it out. I have a video of me sitting there, like. Like, Ben would twitch, too.

Just so you know, he would strive.

Yeah, those things. That's for the birds. The who nannies. The who nannies.

Yeah. But let me tell you what happened from the who nanny, because I'm more of a. Like, let's just go do it. I don't want to talk about it. I just want. What do I want? I'm going to go get it. And I sat, and I finally. I just got so nervous looking around me. I just started writing stuff, and it was so weird. I really believe that it was God saying, you're not just going to write stuff. You're going to write things you're going to do. And so I wrote down 17 statements that day. And one of them was, I'm traveling the country country with my family in a motorhome. I'm writing a book. I'm running 12 and 12 races. So I decided right there. Well, actually, I laughed because I wrote a lot of these things, and I was like, oh, I will never do these. This is so dumb. Like, this is just. I'm gonna throw this paper in the trash when I get home. But they tell you, oh, make a card. And it's like a vision board, except something you can carry around. I wish I had known. I would have brought it with me, because I still carry the same one. It's now 12 years old, and I'm still carrying it. But now there's a lot of check marks on it because I've achieved a lot of them. But one of them was, I am. And I always say, I joke because I said, I am soaring through 12 races in 12 months. But if you see me run, you would not say, oh, she's soaring. It's more like I'm just kind of making it to the finish line. But I said I would run 12 and 12, and I decided to either run a full marathon or a half marathon every month consecutively for 12 months. And I eventually ran 13 because at that time, my oldest daughter wanted to do a race with me that was a 5K. So that one is kind of like a little bonus.

A baby run. Yeah, yeah.

She was like, let's go up to Paradise Valley. Or, no, it was Fountain Hills. And we ran that little 5k together. And so I eventually ran that. But after mile or after the ninth race, I found out I was pregnant. And at the 10th race, I thought I had lost the baby, so I thought I'd had a miscarriage. And we were in San Diego, I had just run. I think I have it backwards after the 10th, but then at the 11th, I was really concerned and we actually called my doctor and said, we, we've lost our child. I'm here in San Diego and it's obvious that I've had a miscarriage. And when we got home, we went for a week. We stayed there because we had promised our kids a vacation. And when we came home, I went for my checkup because they said, just come home as long as you feel okay. And when I got back, we found out the baby was still alive. And that's my 10 year old now. And that child had. We went on. Eventually, with my doctor's advice, I was able to finish that challenge. But before she was ever born, this little one, she had run her own little 13.2 a couple of times over before she was ever born.

That's a lot of bouncing in the belly for that one.

Yes. And my. My delivery for her was quick, dad. Almost missed it. Like, she was not waiting around. And, yeah, my husband walked in to sit down. The doctor said, don't sit down, dad, she's here. And my husband's like, what?

What?

Get the camera, get the camera. She hasn't stopped moving yet. No joke. She. She is the one that is always going. She's either upright and moving forward or she's crashed. That's it. So, yeah, I love that.

So let's talk about today. What do you do today? How do you work within the community and what does that look like for you?

Yeah. So today my biggest thing that I'm focusing on is this membership that I created two years ago to help other people. As soon as I ran Boston once, people started asking me, how'd you do it? And then twice. Wait a minute. And in the midst of that, we broke a lot of fundraising records. And so we found that every time I achieved a big goal, there were always these very consistent things that I did. It was almost like a cycle. You know, I would dream big. That's that who nanny stuff that I talk about. And then I would have this plan of action, and then I would move forward on these different things. And so people kept asking, so I just started teaching individuals and I would watch them win and then I would go to another race or I Would you know, I was all about, now it's time for me to see what other people can do. And so in April of 2022, right after I'd had foot surgery, someone convinced me to start this training program and. And teach people step by step how to set the goal. And the big missing component for a lot of companies that do this, they don't stay with the person. They show them how to do a vision board, they show them how to set a goal. But then when the person's like, in what I would call the Mile 19 season, when it gets hard and you hit the roadblocks, they're all alone. And so our company, literally, we will stay with the person until they're finished, until they are done, or until they check out. But we haven't had that yet. So my time now is coaching people all around the world, US And Canada right now, and they set the goal, and then we help them get to the finish line of their goals. The other side of that on the home life is we have. My oldest daughter's in culinary school, so she's here, you know, working in a restaurant nearby in Gilbert, and my oldest son is working. And then we are home for right now, but we travel full time. Gilbert is our home base. And so we come home for seasons like this, where to get my daughter in school, get my son settled in his new job, and then we'll go back in the summer and go see the next states. Because when we started traveling as a family, we wanted to teach our kids about US history by visiting all the 50 state capitals. In our first year, we got to 26 states and 22 capitals.

Have you been to Kansas?

Yes, yes.

Okay.

Yes, we have. Why is that home?

That's home.

That's home.

Topeka.

Nice.

Yeah.

So we. And we were. Now we're up to 41 states, I believe it is. But we haven't done all the capitals because during the shutdown, a lot of the capitals, it was just very hard to get into them. And with a hearing impaired child, it's really hard if they were wearing a mask or anything. So we kind of paused that and started doing national parks. And so we have a little bit of a blend now. And the big. Now we're at the big states. Alaska, Hawaii and the Dakotas. But I just talked to my son this morning. I said, are we going to get you out for summer travel this year? And he's like, probably not. He just got a promotion where he works. And I was like, oh, so this will be a Big switch going out with five instead of seven.

Yeah.

A little bit of a heartache for.

Mom, but yeah, that's a hard one. Yeah, absolutely. All right, so what's.

Okay, so this is where you're doing now. Where do you see this going? Is this.

Yeah. So the Goal Getters global community that we're building is going to be. It's going to be much farther than Canada and the U.S. we actually have a retreat coming up this spring here in Gilbert. Actually, we brought our retreat home to Gilbert and it's going to be here in April. And we bring them in for that in person energy that you can't get on a zoom screen. We meet with them once a week and to be able to bring them in. And I want people to feel what I have felt. Every cross, every finish line I've crossed, I have built a little bit more swagger. So when someone. There were times when I said I was going to run Boston and I would just get a glance and it would make me feel like, oh, imposter syndrome. A lot of people quit because of imposter syndrome. So the more people I feel like I can help get their own goals, the better we're going to have a better community. We're going to have, have, like, if more people are walking around with the confidence and swagger that some of our goal getters have, you wouldn't stop them. We wouldn't have a lot of the problems. And I ask people, you know, who will benefit close to you and who will benefit? How will someone benefit in the world if you get this one goal? And it's really cool for people to start doing this not just for themselves, but for the betterment of the community.

I'm curious, in the work that you're doing and the observations you've made, I'm sure you've picked up on some trends. There's probably similar threads that stand in the way of individuals as obstacles. What are those?

Absolutely. And we actually did a survey, not just our members, but people who were not having the success that they wanted. The biggest one obviously was fear of failure. They don't want people to know they failed. So I broadcast my failures as often as I can, even if it's just a trip up. And it may not be devastating. But hey, guys, you know what? I trip up. Just like you guys do. Podcast people want me to do a podcast. I'm like, I wouldn't know what microphone to put in front of someone's face. Right. So we learn and they watch from me. The other Thing is having a supportive community. Most people, when you start out, you say you're gonna do something. People are around you like, yay. And at your finish line, they're all there. Yay. But in the middle, where the work is really hard, some of these goals that they have are gonna take years. It took me six years just to get to Boston for the first time. And so the lack of an action plan, People will say they're gonna do something on January 1st, but they have it written nowhere how they're gon it. So action plan, fear of failure, and the lack of a community that will support them. That's our three primary focuses of what we work on intentionally, because those are the most popular. But mindset and imposter syndrome, those kind of things creep in once they get going. So we have to bring that over. Right now we're dealing with what we call the February funk. If you don't know, there's actually a trend in the month of February where people will feel melancholy. It's between that, you know, the holidays are done, but the spring hasn't hit. And you'll see people literally just back off. They'll just disappear. People will disappear from church. They'll disappear from your networking groups. Because there's this. There's a whole list of why that happens. But yeah, so we're helping people get through the February funk.

Fascinating. I feel like we can just talk for hours.

I'm so curious. I gotta know what's on this board that you talked about that you did a long, long, long time ago. What's left on that board that you still want to get accomplished?

Oh, those things that I wrote down.

Yeah.

Yes. So I want to be in different countries. So one of the big things to just be in the, you know, the countries that are attached to the United States, like Canada. I want to go out further, like European countries and. Yes. And Singapore. There's. I've been to Australia to speak and things like that. But there's so many places that I want to find the people that really have a desire to achieve something big. And hopefully it benefits more than just themselves. If not, that's okay too. On the board, I wrote a lot about being a motivational speaker. I wrote. I want to write a book. Well, I did. I wrote a book, and so that one I got checked off.

What's the book?

Lessons from the finish line. Yeah. So it's all about the 12 races that I ran. And I had the travel one, which was perfect. I had one on there about my father unfortunately, he passed away, but it was also kind of lived out where I got to be there when he passed away. So a lot of these things that I set enabled me because I built my own businesses. Now I'm my own boss. And so when my dad was sick, I was able to be with him. When my sister was passing away, I was able to be with her. So there's those hidden benefits that I would have never thought to write down. So it's really nice to see, like the who nanny or the woo woo that really used to drive me crazy. I use it for a purpose. Like, I don't want people to just write these things down or I'm not an achieve it and believe it kind of person. I'm a, okay, believe it, but get your butt to work. Like, you need to put some action behind the thought process. And a lot of people just get discouraged because they've never been taught that.

Well, what I'm hearing today is that there is still hope for Ben. And so.

Yeah. Do you still have the tool belt? You still do that kind of stuff?

I do, yep. Yeah, we. I'll definitely. I'll share with you my full list sometime and then I'll tell you what the who nanny woo woo stuff was. I'll tell you what, just stop in, I'll give you the retreat date. You can stop in and see some of our training. And I will say, you, you mentioned the mentors in our life and one of the guys that was at that event who taught me a lot, like, one of the big things I learned is if you want to achieve something, I mean, I have my paper calendar right here with me. I'm old school in that. But he said, I can tell your success level by what you have on your calendar. And, and at any given time, he would say, show me your calendar and I'll tell you how successful you're going to be in your business because he'll look and see what's on your calendar. So one of the training calls, he told us, if it's not on your calendar, it's less likely to be done. So I listened to him right before that 12 and 12 race challenge. And when I hung up the phone after listening to his call, I knew he was talking about business. But I sat down and I booked the first six races of that 12 race challenge. I paid for the rental cars, I paid for the hotel, and I registered for the races. And that first six months of running was so smooth because I did what he said to do. So. And he's going to be one of our guest speakers at the retreat. So it's really cool to see that come true.

That's fun. Yeah, that's cool.

Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Thank you.

This has been an incredible conversation. Very exciting. What I needed in February, but now I have it in March.

Yay. You didn't have the February funk, did you?

I might have. I don't know.

Now he's got the 12 and 12 funk.

I definitely have something like that. Well, thank you for being here.

Thank you.

Fantastic. Fantastic. And I know everybody listening loved this conversation. I know I did. So if you want more of this kind of content in your inbox, sign up, join our tribe and they'll come right to you. Thanks for listening. Guiding growth conversations with community leaders.

Ben, let me ask you a question. How do you see other community members being involved in this podcast?

This is going to be a great opportunity for so many people in the community to have a chance to be heard if they want to tell their story or if they just want to be part of this journey with us and help sponsor it in a way that helps bring more people to the table with us. So I think there's many opportunities at hand. Whether you want to again be on the show. Reach out to us. Let us know what your story is and how you think you could be part of it. We'd love to hear from you. Reach out, let us know, and we'll see if we can make that connection.