Behind the Scenes!

This is episode 140 of the Empowered Team Podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, Vitaldi and peak performance coach, Kari Schneider.

Hello amazing humans. This podcast is for achievers, achievers who want to keep growing. And today the intention is to share a little bit of behind the scenes of what Paul and I are going through. Because this is the real stuff. When you're pursuing continual growth, you're the kind of people who love to be productive. And all kinds of circumstances show up in our lives that maybe we don't always anticipate or don't necessarily want.

So this podcast this month, this beginning a month podcast, is for our behind the scenes kind of sneak peek. And if you don't know, Paul and I have been apart for the last month, which has been really hard. We thought we were going to be apart for three weeks. And if you are in a relationship or you have a significant other and you both like to get stuff done, I don't know if you do what we did, but. But what we ended up doing, and this wasn't intentional, but we both realized we were doing this. It was, we were working extra while we were apart. So the time that we would have spent together, instead of devoting that maybe to personal care or self care or whatever, there ended up being all kinds of extra work going on that we were both doing. And what that created was this almost frantic activity going on. And then we'd fit in our phone call to catch up with the family each night. And by the time we were together after a month of being apart, we were both semi exhausted and dealing with some of the toughest life things, meaning family dementia. Both of us are dealing with some elements of that, just with how we're processing it with our family and as well as all of the crazy things that come with being apart and doing renovations and starting a business. The reason we're apart is because I headed way up north in northwestern Ontario in Canada to renovate a camp that we bought. And this is the transition of the business. So coming from owning a gym for over 15 years, transitioning to owning a small fishing camp, that we are transitioning into a treat space, a family rental space, an event space, when we're in the time of COVID when materials are scarce, labor is scarce, it has brought its challenges in ways that we didn't anticipate. Now we were supposed to be apart from each other for two to three weeks, but then Paul got Offered a job, another contract with CBC for commentating. Now, this is a fantastic opportunity because he's commentating for volleyball in the, in the Nations League leading up into the Olympics. This couldn't have been more perfect for him to get the kinks out, get the, you know, rusty commentating voice going and smooth again and get ready for the Olympics because he's commentating for volleyball for CBC for the Olympics as well. So throw that into the mix. That meant he was doing the commentating, traveling to Toronto to do it while still having parenting and having kids in his realm, while I was on my own out in Northwestern Ontario. So all of these challenges brought the mixed feelings of excitement and opportunity and then at the same time, you know, loss and missing out from. If you think of the three spheres of influence in our life, they basically come down to ourselves, whatever we are dealing with personally. So maybe it's our personal health or what we are endeavoring to do with our own personal growth. And then there's the sphere of influence that has to do with our relationships. This is the most influential part of our lives, is the relationships that we have. If we have poor relationships, we tend to have a poor quality of life. And the other sphere of influence is our career or our purpose. So you may have work that isn't your purpose in life, or you may have your work or career be your purpose in life, but that whole sphere is very influential in our lives as well. So we've got. Normally as one expands, as work or something expands, something else is either maintaining or staying the same size or not having as much activity in it yet for both of us at the same time, there was so much expansion in work or career or purpose, and so much expansion in having to make adaptations for our, our family relationships as well, that it was, it was really throwing a lot at us all at once. Now, I don't know if you've been in that type of scenario, but when that occurs, when there's expansion in all major spheres of influence, so self, relationships and work and purpose, there's usually going to be some area that can't keep up. There's going to be a ball that gets dropped, because any of those three spheres also have all of their own balls in the air or activities or emphases that need attention. So if you're noticing that that's happening for you, then something probably needs to go into maintenance mode. And for us, what went into maintenance mode is our relationship. We weren't able to have dates, obviously, we're apart for four weeks but even our phone calls, we were just kind of catching up, trying to connect, stay as informed as possible. We did an amazing job at doing that. But then when we got back together in the same space, then it meant, okay, it's time to catch up personally, have some dates. But that didn't happen. So then that kind of puts the relationships on the back burner. At the same time, a conscious decision was made in order to take our.

Well not be in.

In the same city as our kids when they were going through graduation. Part of the pull with this was the demand for or the. It wasn't a demand, it was a need that I felt was there for me to be in, in the space that I was due to family and due to having to start with this property and then also knowing that because of COVID the graduation and the ceremonies were going to be online. So it was a really, really tough decision. And that weighed heavily on me in not being with two of our kids while they were graduating high school. And again, in those spheres of influence. This is one of the things that because I was having so much emphasis or demand on career and purpose and family need at the time, then the other part of the relationships couldn't be maintained the way I wanted to, the way I envisioned, the way we often set our standards to or our expectations. So that may be happening for you in some area. And if you learn from what we share it, it isn't always exactly the way you want it. It doesn't. Sometimes there's compromise in areas that don't feel the way you want it to feel. And that can be the struggle that goes on behind the scenes. And that's one of the reasons why I want to share this with you today, is so that you don't think that what gets posted on Instagram or what gets shared in certain social media realms or emails or coaching examples that it's not all fun and games, it's not all the exact right decisions, it's not all the exact direction we want to go. There's a lot of zigging and a lot of zagging in order to still make sure we're on the right track and not knowing whether the decision was right or wrong for the track that we want to go on. In fact, knowing that the decision isn't right or wrong, it's not good or bad, it's just a decision. And we're going to have to figure out what the outcome of the decision is along the way.

So as you've, as you've probably gathered.

From this so far is that there's.

A lot going on to achieve the vision that we're looking for.

There's expansion, renovation. There is also acceptance of new contracts. So Paul is commentating for the Olympics. And for him, in commentating and preparing for the Olympics, it might just seem, you know, like you go on and get to watch a game. But there is massive preparation that goes into each match. Even, even the teams that are our country's teams, our Canadian teams. The ability to be able to understand what's going on with the team takes a number of interviews, a lot of questions, a lot of research just for our own team. Now add on top of that a foreign team that Team Canada is playing.

And you don't know the players and.

You can't even pronounce their names. That takes a lot of work behind the scenes and a lot of video watching and a lot of. A lot of detective work with the other players in order to figure out what's happening.

So he's going through that massive extra.

Load and at the same time, at the exact same time, working a full time position with the software company he works with, inasoft, while doing these extra carpentry and labor type work that we're doing with our renovations. Because it's so hard to find contractors, it's so challenging to find unskilled labor. And at the same time, the materials are extremely high in price due to what's gone on with COVID and the most recent shutdowns. So all of this is happening simultaneously now. While this is occurring, there's what's happening in the world, because you layer that on top. We all have our own personal things happening in our spheres of influence ourself, our work, career, purpose, as well as our relationships.

Any one of those things goes a little bit awry and it affects all of the other, other two and the three as a whole. So you take what's going on in Canada, for example, in the discovery of children's bodies in proximity to the residential schools that they were put in involuntarily, and add that to the mix, along with so much of the uncertainty that comes with COVID and vaccinations and political.

Division, if you will, and it turns.

It all into this almost surreal sense of what is happening within life. And this is why we do what we do. This is why we coach. Because I believe that we're all here to do and be, primarily be our absolute best and to figure out what we're capable of. Because as humans, we're capable of so much. And if we are our best at whatever that is in whatever that is in our relationships, in discovering our own, you know, maybe small but unique talents, whatever they might be, that being our best has this impact on other people because we can give our best. Once we are taking care of ourselves and each other in our best way, then I believe that has a positive impact on the rest of the world.

And when so much is happening in the world that is so uncertain and.

So shocking and so challenging, the only thing we can do, the only thing that we're sure of is, is managing ourselves. And when we can manage ourselves well, we can make decisions that help other people, help them recover, help people heal, help ourselves go in the direction that causes unity and goes forward instead of causing more pain or angst or maybe blame, and the blame perpetuates the suffering. And so I'm putting this behind the scenes in. Not to say that. Not to say that, you know, oh, yay, look at us, we've got all these. These amazing things going on. But to say that that's what it might look like on the surface, that, oh, you know, there's this happening or that happening. But in reality, we're dealing with the same things that everybody deals with, which is relationship challenges with our immediate family, extended family, or things going wrong within career or things going right and not knowing how to fit it in with everything else that is happening, and finding gratitude and finding peace and finding appreciation in just having an incredible country to live in and understanding that, like humans, there's just so much underneath the surface that may not be what we're proud of. And I want to emphasize that that's happening for everybody. And unlike how it might have been decades ago, where we all knew what was going on with the neighbor because they were our cousins or they went to a church together or they were part of a community group together, most people now are so separated that only. We're only seeing what people want others to see, and we're not truly, truly connected. To know where someone's struggling and where their challenges and where their amazing joys are as well. And that's why I wanted to share some of the behind the scenes that. That there are incredible things going on that we are so excited about in being able to own an incredible property and renovate it. And at the same time, there are unbelievable struggles happening in that same topic, that same realm. And for you, we know that the same types of things are going on. And being human is in having the joy in it, but also having the struggle in it is part of the journey. And managing our minds in order to become the best we can be in being our healthiest. Taking care of our bodies and our minds is what we think is the only way that we're going to be able to become our best for ourselves and for other people so that we can have that bigger picture impact. So this month for the Olympics, we hope that Canada pulls together in a form of solidarity in emphasizing that every child matters, in emphasizing that we as humans are in this world together, not just in a certain area together, not just in a certain culture together, not just in a certain community together, but all of us are in this together. And if we can find our commonality, our common traits, our common struggles, our common joys, our common triumphs, then that is how we are going to really overcome many of the things that are going to occur in our world personally and in our overall bigger picture world. We're only going to be able to overcome what we need to together. And that's what Paul and I are trying to do with our family. Overcome any of the challenges that are coming our way and at the same time, keep growing ourselves so that we can keep showing up as the best version of ourselves and hope that that makes a difference for other people and not just, you know, not just keep going on the treadmill of life, expecting good things to come our way, but to create good things so that that can have a benefit for other people. So I hope this serves you on this month of July, this month of Canada Day, this month of the Olympics, this month of summer, this month of. Of reflecting on what's been going on behind the scenes for us so that we really have a sense of where we are. And we just figured we would share this with you. I had Paul's permission to. That's why I say we. So that I'm sharing some of his personal things too, sharing this with you to know that it's not all fun and roses over here on this end. There's some struggle going on too. And with it, there's so much excitement and so much growth, and that really is the bigger picture of life. And I hope that you, as an incredible people, are embracing the bigger picture of life and doing everything you can for being your best so that you can keep giving your best, because lots and lots of people need it right now. And that's what we believe. High performance is really showing up for continual growth, continual growth in all areas. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of your month. We'll keep showing up with Olympic commentating from Paul, we'll keep showing up with Mindset Mondays from me. And we're showing up continually on the Empowered Team, which is our coaching group. And we would love to have you join us so that you can see what our incredible topics are this month. We are diving into power thinking and we are challenging each other physically as well. So keep going on your incredible journey. Join us on the team for some coaching if that's up your alley, and.

Have a beautiful rest of July.