Change is as good as a break

This is episode 122 of the Empowered Team Podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast, where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now, your host, vitality and peak performance coach, Kari Schneider. Well, hello, amazing humans. We are in the throes of COVID still, and I'm sure that's not the first thing that you want to hear. So this is what I'd like to throw at you. And it is. A change is as good as a break. A change is as good as a break. That's what I need to hear right now. That's what I think a lot of people need to hear right now. And this is something that I had a professor years ago who would say this all the time. This person had deadlines and, you know, I was doing research and working full time, and I was a single mom at the time. And this professor would say, a change is as good as a break. And I never thought that it would be something that I would remember and use for so many years later. But I have. And so I want to share this with you in the hopes that it will serve you in some way, in some area of your life so that you can make that little shift that will make a big difference. So here's what it looks like. We have so much going on right now that is so different than what we have had in our past, in our lives. And it's this kind of thing. When we have too much of something, it gets messy and stressful. And when we have too little, not enough going on around us, we're bored to tears. So where is the balance? Is the question. And what I've come to as a conclusion over and over again is that there is no balance. When things are perfectly even and there's perfect balance, then we don't have any sort of adaptation. We don't have any sort of stimulus. We don't have any sort of growth. And I'll go into this entire topic another time, but right now, to feel stimulated and intrigued and curious, we usually want things to be different, some sort of difference in our lives or something different in our lives to feel secure and comfortable. We want to keep things exactly the same, usually, even if we don't like all of the things the way they are. So today's. In today's environment, we have this weird blend that we don't want. There's uncertainty in the world in a way that we don't like, and too much of the same in our personal lives for the most part. And for some of us, there's a lot of same in our work lives or a lot of different. A lot of adaptation, too much of it. So we've got too much change in some areas and not enough in other areas. And it's throwing our wants right out of whack. The ways we want to feel and the things that we want are all flipped backwards. So what do we do? We can take action in certain ways around our home, or we can daydream about the things that we used to have that we still want, like travel. Because what it is, really is that we want the feeling we think that we will get when those things happen. So recently I did a webinar, and there were a whole bunch of business people on this webinar. But on the webinar, I asked the question, what do you really want right now? And the answer for a lot of people was that they want the feeling of happiness. They want things to be the way they were. They want travel. A lot of people wrote travel. And the truth is, is that if it's something like travel or a shift in work, it's not that thing that they want so badly. It's that they want the feeling that they get when they travel. Maybe it's the adventure, the curiosity, the new environment. That's what they really want. So how do we go about dealing with that? I noticed for myself that there were kind of three main areas that I was struggling with a lot within Covid. And I started asking myself, if I'm going to take responsibility for creating the change that I need personally to get the feeling that I really need right now. What does that look like? And I noticed a few areas. Number one, we moved to a new house right in the beginning of the first shutdown, and everything was closed. There was a lot of challenges with moving, but when we got into our house, I still had to work. I was still serving clients and trying to get people, whether it was their mindset coaching or their workouts or different areas for them. I was trying to serve that in a different way, and I didn't know how. And not only that, I didn't have the office that I had had before. Before I had my home office, it was all set up a certain way, and I didn't have any of that anymore. And the office I set up in our new home, my husband had promptly taken over because he had to. It was the best space for him, and there was plenty of room in that space for me to work, too. But I didn't. I chose to go in another area of the house because I just felt that that would be better. And then I stewed about being in that area of the house and not being able to work the way I wanted to. And I wouldn't go down to where he was working because that wasn't going to work either. Because I wanted the feeling of my own space. And I didn't even realize that that was the problem. I was just running around going, okay, I can't work very effectively here, and I'm not working very effectively there. Where do I need? What do I need? But the reality was, is that I wanted the feeling of my own space. I wanted the feeling of being alone and being able to hunker down and work. And the reason I realized this was because eventually I went and worked down in the same space with him. And I could do it, and I could bust out a ton of content and get a lot of things done, but I just wasn't doing it before because I was searching for a different feeling that wasn't being met or wasn't being provided by external sources. And the reality is, is I could have provided that feeling myself in different ways. So in your workspace, you know, whether it was upstairs, downstairs, standing, sitting, gym space, wherever I chose to work, that change felt like a break. The change was as good as a break. And that change allowed me to get enough perspective and step back enough to realize what the feeling was I was chasing. I was chasing the feeling of wanting to be in my own workspace. And by moving around and changing some things. Stand up, work desk, sit down, work desk, work at the island, work in the basement, work in the office area. Whatever it was, change allowed me to. To get the perspective, to understand what feeling I was actually searching for. I took a look at this in our health and training as well, because amidst the move, amidst Covid, the same kind of stuff was going on. And I couldn't help but laugh because, you know, I'm the expert in this. How am I struggling with this? But the truth is, is that we struggle with it just as much in different ways as everyone else. We didn't have a gym space. We'd been working out in our basement at home before we even moved and before we even sold the gym. So why was it so hard to keep working out in our basement in our new home? Well, we'd worked out outdoors in the backyard in the summer until there was too much construction around there and building a new building. We worked out in the basement. We worked out together all of the things and all of those different changes allowed me to get the perspective, especially when our gym space was finally done. We finished this garage gym studio space and it was finished and we started working out in there just like a real gym right around Christmas time. And when we did that, and we'd shifted from one spot to another, working out outside, working out in the basement together, all these things, I've realized with that perspective from all of those changes that what I was chasing, that feeling I was chasing was just the intensity of the workout that I wanted. I wanted an intense workout and I wasn't getting it anywhere else. I wanted the consistency and stability of that same workout space. And that's what I was looking for. But by changing around, I allowed myself to try on different things and understand what I really needed at that time. And because the crazy thing about us as humans, amazing, incredible humans, is that we can't be bloody well happy with one thing at any given time because we like to change our minds. And it's okay to, as long as we're willing to explore what it's going to be that we actually need, what it's going to be that we're actually looking for in that feeling. And then relationships. I was looking for all sorts of ways to, you know, keep our relationship in a good space instead of, I don't know about you, but instead of wanting to kill each other because you're in the same space for too long, instead of being bored to tears with the same routine every day with your quote unquote loved one that you're beginning to resent in all sorts of ways. And don't get me wrong, I adore my husband. I think he's a fabulous, fabulous, incredible human being. And at the same time, we just were bored to tears with each other. And so I started to change things around and explore what could be different. Did we do movies on certain nights? Did we play cards with the family? Did we try different dinners and look forward to certain types of dinners on certain days? Do we look for different ways to do things with the kids and have other board games as well? How could we mix things up? And by mixing things up, I started to try on different things that we hadn't done before and really decide, okay, what's sticking, what isn't what, what is fun, what isn't what ups the level of engagement? What kind of shows do we like to watch together? That prompt conversation that we wouldn't have had before, those started to spark questions. And all of this perspective, taking a different look because we tried different things, taking a different look, because we took a different approach. The change is as good as a break from the monotony of what' working. The change is as good as a break from where our brain tends to go and take us down a path that may not serve us. So in looking at that, I started asking questions to go, how can this serve me and how can this serve other people in a way that's going to make a real difference? What are the questions to make my brain look at things in a certain way? And that's what I started to do. And I started to do this with some clients as well. And the question is, what can I do to break up my day? Here's the reality. In our past life, pre Covid, when we had a full workout work day, what would happen is that someone would go to a meeting and then to get to the next meeting, they might go from a computer meeting to an in person meeting, to driving somewhere to have a lunch meeting. And that sequence of events would have these mini breaks throughout the day. And that even though the whole workday is all a full work day, the breaks end up being just mini changes. A shift in the room that you're speaking to, someone with a shift in a environment because you're driving somewhere to go and see someone. A shift in the modality of how you're meeting with someone. Is it computer or is it phone? And in doing so, all of those are the mini changes that create mini breaks for our brain throughout the day. And in doing that, that's how we have even more of a full workday, a longer workday, maybe a more intense workday at that time, but it feels, feels more refreshing. That's how it used to be pre Covid. And now instead, maybe people aren't as active, maybe the workday isn't even as long or it's become longer, but it feels 10 times more draining because it's the same all freaking day long. It's on zoom or it's in a certain way of doing things that's just so draining of energy. So what does it look like in in the workday? How can I break up my day in a way that has me feel the way I want to feel? Because that's what we're looking for, is the pursuit of that feeling. How can I break my workday up to have me feel a certain way? And for myself personally, I came up with these particular things. I walk five minutes on the hour, so if I'm working through on certain tasks or projects, or I'm in a meeting, every time that hour is up, that meeting is done, or that hour is coming to a finish and I've been on the computer that whole time, then five minutes I will. If it's horrible weather outside, I'll be doing jumping jacks in the living room or walking around the entire house just to keep walking for five minutes. Or if the weather's decent, I'll go for a walk around the crescent. If the weather's bad, I'll bundle up and do it anyway. But find a way on the hour to move, move, move, move, move. Then another thing that I did that I mentioned earlier was change my workstation all over the place that, you know, no one knew where I was going to be working. Is it on the couch in front of the fire? Is it at the island? Is it standing up? Is it sitting down? Is it downstairs? Is it upstairs in the bedroom? Wherever I wanted to go, I went to change things up. A change is as good as a break. And then at the same time, I would make sure that in my day I scheduled some sort of fun time in the morning. I might do a little training with Maeve, or we do some ninja training on certain days of the week, or connect in a different way, especially if the kids are at home and having to do schoolwork from home and they needed that change too. So not only was I changing up my day with a break or that change being as good as a break, it was doing that same thing for them. They were enabled. They were having that change and having a different focus and having greater perspective. Walking the dog. Break up my day with walking the dog. Middle of the day when the weather is good, getting outside every day somehow, no matter what the weather is, but making sure there's outdoor time every single day. Even if my dog won't walk, I bring her on the walk if I have to carry her, doing whatever it takes to make sure that that day is broken up. So the question to serve you in this is what can I do to break up my day? What can I do to break up each hour in some way or another? Maybe you just have this little rule. You do a few push ups or a few jumping jacks every 30 minutes between each call, whatever it is, to break up your day and keep that energy going. Guzzle a cup of water, call a friend real quick for a five minute check in to just vent or bitch about what's going on in the world. Who knows? Whatever it is, what can I do to break up my day. The next question is around the training aspect. I took a look at what can I do to keep training appealing? I believe in my health and my workouts. And all my workouts revolve around whatever physical goal I have, whether it's rehabbing my back, whether it's bringing my best energy for my clients, whether it's being able to last through a workday or a lot of travel, whether it's. But my goals and my training all revolve around my health and the other objectives and other goals I have in my life, even showing up as my best self for my family. And so I asked the question, what does it look like to keep training appealing? Because training, working out, my health are so, so important to me. What does it look like to keep that appealing? And I started to look at it and go, okay, what is it? It's music. Having music in the training environment. Or podcasts. I love listening to podcasts if I'm walking the dog or walking in general or running. New goals. I needed to have new goals on the regular in order to keep training appealing. Is it a race that I want to go for in the past? Now my back is rehabbing enough that perhaps I might be able to do some sort of race in the spring, spring or summer, which would be amazing. So new goals in some form or another. Maybe it's just a body composition goal, Losing weight, gaining muscle, gaining weight, Whatever it is for you. Another thing for me is a new training cycle. I cannot do the same type of types of workouts all the time. So I'm always mixing it up, changing the exercises, changing the formats. Am I going to do a circuit? Am I going to do supersets? Am I going to do more, emphasize more of a cardiovascular conditioning? What am I going to switch in my weights? So there's always going to be those mix ups. What can I change in my cycles? And also a training partner and Paul has been my training partner for a very long time. And sometimes we've just done our workouts but not really trained together. And sometimes we've actually trained together in more of a focus way. But having an accountability buddy is incredible. And it doesn't mean you have to be in person. Having someone that you know is going to. You can just text or message or throw on zoom at the same time that you're doing your workout. Having that accountability buddy is huge as well. So the question for you, because your rules around this are going to be completely different than mine, what you want out of your training or your health goals are going to be completely different than mine or maybe similar, I don't know. But the question becomes, what does it look like to keep training appealing? What's the feeling you want to have from training? Is the feeling you want to get from it the invigoration after some sort of intensity because it gives you energy for the rest of the day? Is the feeling you want from training to be that you did something that really served your health? But if you're doing training and you feel bad every time you do it, then you're simply not going to do it. So it's the same when it comes to breaking up your day. If you're doing something that breaks up your day and you feel like crap every time you do it, you're not going to do it. So pick the things that really have you. Go towards the feeling that you want. When you ask yourself, what does it look like to keep training appealing? Remember how you want to feel, why you're doing the health or training goals, why you're doing those particular actions. What is it that you want to get out of it? What feeling are you after? And the last question is, how can I make a difference in my relationship? I focused on this question because I started to notice that with Paul and I being together all the time, it became this kind of thing that I was looking at him for the feeling that I wanted. If I wanted to feel important, I wanted him to pay attention to me. If I wanted to feel loved, well, I wanted him to show affection. If I wanted to feel affectionate, well, then he was supposed to be affectionate to me. And the reality is, with all those feelings, those feelings are my responsibility. And that's where I shifted the question so that I could look for those feelings from me, not from someone else. And that's where the question comes in. How can I make a difference in my relationship with myself, with my partner, with my business partners, with my family, as in my children, my kids, with my. My father, with my mother? How can I make a difference in my relationship? And some of the answers I came up with for myself were taking care of myself. I. As soon as it was available for a massage, I got my massage booked. I trust implicitly my massage therapist that she's, you know, keeping her environment clean and to the standards necessary. And so I got that massage booked right away because not only does it help my rehab, but it's taking care of myself. I meditate. I have. I found that I was in my habit of meditating every single day at lunchtime. But as soon as people were in our home, I wouldn't meditate. I'd feel like I needed to spend more time with my kids at lunchtime or Paul at lunchtime, instead of the time I would ordinarily have spent myself for myself in resetting my mind, my most important asset, my mind. And I was just letting that go. And what was I doing? I was doing a disservice to myself and everybody around me by not resetting my mind and recovering. So taking care of myself with massage, meditation and, and really, really taking care of my sleep hygiene, all my routines before going to bed, making sure that even if I didn't get a good sleep, that I was doing other things that could serve that recovery and rest throughout the day. Another thing that I would start to do to make a difference in my relationships was not over commit to other people. I was finding that I would be so exhausted from being on the computer and if I hadn't meditated or hadn't done something for myself, then I'd still be saying yes to Paul or the kids or, or another appointment. And I was saying yes to them and saying no to myself and over committing to others, that dirty yes, Saying yes to someone else when I didn't feel like I had that energy, it wasn't a hell yes then. I was simply doing a disservice to everyone, not only myself, but to everyone else. And the biggest, the biggest thing I found in answering this question, how can I make a difference in my relationship to Paul was cuddling this big man, all he wanted was cuddling. And that has done the biggest service to our ability to talk to each other, our ability to connect. And it only has come from the question of how can I make a difference in my relationship with my husband? And I wouldn't have come up with that answer because I always thought that was just something that happened once in a while. Maybe we'd cuddle on the couch with a movie or cuddle in bed once in a while. But to proactively cuddle because it's something he truly, truly needs is something that has made way more of a difference in our relationship than watching a movie or having dinner together. And it's something I never would have known had I not tried different things and started to get the perspective in asking the question and trying the different things, taking care of myself, not over committing, massage, meditating, having different conversations. Those are the things, those are the changes. Trying different changes. That became enough of a break in order for me to get perspective, to also have that perspective to understand the feeling that I was going for and what I was doing for that. And that allowed me to get perspective, to really understand someone else. So in Change Is As Good as a Break the ultimate question is what change do you need in those realms of life? In your health, in your work, in your relationship? What change do you need that you control? What change do you need that you are responsible for? What does it look like to shift in those ways that will really make a big impact for those three areas of your life? Your career, your mission, your purpose, your health and wellness, your training, your relationships with other people? What is the change that you have control of that'll be as good as a break your day in your week in any of those three areas. So I invite you to ask those questions and just go over that with regard to those areas. What can I do to break up my day? What does it look like to keep my training or workouts appealing? How can I make a difference in my relationships and come from a perspective taking complete responsibility for it? A change is as good as a break and what change can I make that is in my complete control that will make that break and make that difference and have me attain the feeling I'm chasing when I'm looking for the change from other people? So amazing humans. I hope this serves you. I hope this gives you a little bit of a different perspective when dealing with all the things that are coming from COVID and trying to still work on your best life, your best health and stepping into your self mastery. Have a fantastic rest of your day, your week, your month and keep looking for what we're offering because we are going through massive, massive changes right now and our website I hope will be ready. Before I do our next podcast at the beginning of April, I aim to have our membership website ready so please watch for that. It's going to be www.thempowered.ca Thempowered CA so so take a look for it. I hope it's going to be ready before the month end and have a fantastic, fantastic day, week and month. Love to you all. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coach, coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action steps that optimize results. To join, email us@info powerconditioning.com with subject line team. That's info powerconditioning.com we can't wait for you to be on the team.