EP22 Mindset Monday - Stupid Questions

This is the Empowered athlete podcast episode 22 this is the empowered athlete podcast mindset Monday 10 minutes with Kari Schneider to learn new mindset tactics and tricks to optimize your performance in sport, business and life. If you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to come check out the Empowered Top Performers Group. Coaching Call is my monthly coaching program where we take health and mindset topics and break them down to action steps that can then be applied to your sport, career or life. If you want to try this coaching call out, it's the second Tuesday of each month at 8pm Eastern. Pop me an email and I'll get you on there. Give it a try. Ksempowerconditioning.com so when I say stupid, stupid questions, what I mean and I don't want to disrespect when I go into this, I don't want to disrespect teachers or coaches. I come from that coaching and teaching realm where we want to hold space for people to be able to ask any question and have it be a safe space. When I say this, I think of my 8 year old at our dinner table and think of how many times she's asked a really innocent, naive question. But to her four older teenage siblings it might sound ridiculous and they laugh at her. And then I can see what it's doing to her. It's making her question whether to ask something again. And she's such a curious, inquisitive person. So in those scenarios I absolutely embrace all questions. But here's what I'm talking about and this is why I throw out that adopted saying is there are no stupid questions. Well, yes, there freaking are stupid questions and I'm going to identify three of them that I think can really go away. So the first one is the questions that someone knows the answer to already. So when somebody's asking a question and they know the answer, chances are there's something else going on there. They are, they want to be spoon fed, they want attention. They aren't in the habit of looking for the answer themselves and that's often the case. So I'm going to give you an example. I'm in a situation with some of my athletes in the gym and in that scenario they're learning new things. But what I'm having them do along the way is record some of the weights that they may have lifted so that they have something to refer back to. And so when I get a question coming from one of the athletes, and this could be a seasoned veteran, it could be a young new athlete but when I get one of those questions, it says, well, what should I lift on this? And granted, there's going to be some coaching involved, but a lot of the time the answer is within themselves. And I'm trying to teach them to be able to answer that question themselves. So when they ask something like that, what should I lift on this? And I know. And they know they already have the answer to that because they've done this exercise many, many times before. They know where they want to go. So it's one of those questions that I know they have the answer to. So that would be the one scenario is the questions that someone has the answer to already. The second scenario is the question that someone could have found the answer to, but they're looking to be told what the answer is, even though they have the resources to have found it out themselves. And maybe they're even more likely to know the answer than you are, but they're still asking anyway. So right now I'm really speaking to all the coaches out there, the business, the CEOs out there, the parents out there. You know, you have this situation, a lot of the time someone's coming to you with that question and. But, you know, they could have found the answer. So what do you do in that situation? I'm going to go into that next. So that's the second what I consider a stupid question. The third one is the questions that don't serve that person or serve anybody else. These might be questions like why do we have to do this? Or why is this so hard? Or, you know, all those questions that end up becoming. They're pushing towards a negative answer, or they're pointing out a dissatisfaction in some way or another, and they may be affecting the other people that are around them. So quickly we're going to go into how you can turn this scenario to serve you and serve them. And what you really want to do is teach people how to question in a way that that makes a better scenario for you and for them. The problem is, and this is where this is the scenario for most things that you're trying to make progress with. But the problem is it takes more work to teach someone in this scenario than it does to answer the question. So if you've got that person who they already know the answer to it, or they could have found out the answer themselves, or they're asking a crappy question that's going to affect everybody, it's easier for you to just blurt out the answer. And that's the thing that sucks, because it takes the training on your part to rewire how you're going to deal with this situation because they've come at you with a shitty question, excuse my language, or a stupid question, or whatever. So they've come at you with a question that doesn't serve the greater purpose of who you are, who they are, and where everybody wants to go, especially. Especially in team environments, especially in work environments, especially in family environments. So if you're in this scenario where you're getting bombarded with a question that doesn't serve them, doesn't serve you, doesn't serve the bigger picture, you've got to reframe how you're going to deal with that each and every time and stick with it. Because you're going to find after the first time, maybe, and maybe the second time, but for sure by the third time that they approach you with something like this, they will not approach you the same way you're teaching them how to approach this situation. So here are some responses that can help you deal with this kind of situation. You've been asked the question that they already know the answer to. You've been asked the question, they could have found out. What do you say? You can say back to them something like, well, what do you think? Not in a way that demeans them, not in a way that has them feel ridiculous, but in a way that really curiously asks, well, what do you think about that particular thing? Or another one? Especially if you think that they have the resources, how do you think you could find out what that answer is? So I'll give you an example for my athletes in the gym, and they have asked the question of, well, what weight should I use on this? And I'll say to them, well, what do you think? What did you do last? And it causes the wheels to turn. It causes them to cut. Oh, well, I think I did this last. And then I might ask another one, how could you find out? And then they remember that, hey, we've been recording this every single workout. So if they can't even remember what they did last or they're not sure, they. And then they start to go, well, I did this last, and I'm feeling like this today. I think I should do this. Yeah, I agree with you. So as the coach, I'm supporting what they think. And then the next time they come to me, they're going to come with a different question. Instead of saying, what should I lift? They're going to ask me, I think I'm going to be lifting this. Do you Think I should go heavier. So it's going to ask a coaching question, not a question that they already know the answer to. So it's a subtle difference, but it's a distinction that makes a huge difference as to what the relationship is and where you're going to go with that group. The other one, that last one, that last stupid question, which is the one of they're bringing up something negative, it doesn't serve you. Why do we have to do this? Or why is this so hard? Or those types of questions. If that's being brought into your environment, you want your environment to be a functional, high performance environment, whether it's your work or your family or team or whatever it is. The question you can ask back again gently, with genuine curiosity, is that helping right now? Is that going to serve this group right now? Like, how can we move forward? What do you know already about this drill? What do you know already about this type of workday or this conference or this whatever? You know, it might be a little bit tough. So what can we ask? How can we make this more fun? How can we get through this as a unit, as a team? How can we function together better? And all of those questions will serve a team environment at work, it will serve a sport environment, it will serve coaches, it will serve athletes, it will serve a family, it will serve those things. So I'm going to rehash really quick here. So number one, well, there are stupid questions. So we've established that. So the questions that someone knows the answer to, number two, the questions that they could have found the answer to, number three, the questions that are not serving anybody. So they're just looking for the misery in a situation. So why do we have to do this? Why is this so hard? Why do I sabotage myself? Things like that. So then what we do is we teach back, we ask questions back that genuinely, instead of giving the answer, do not give the answer, teach this person, person how to interact with you in a functional, higher level way. Teach this person how to think differently for themselves. This is the magic tool. Think differently for themselves. So then you're going to ask things back like, well, what do you think? What do you think about this situation? I'm really curious about your opinion. How could you find out if you don't know the answer to this? Well, how could you find out if you really. And they say, I don't know, they answer with I don't know. Well, if you really, really had to and I wasn't here, how would you find out? Is that serving you. Is that helping? Is that helping our situation? But not in a condescending way. What do you know already? What's the information that you have that can help you answer this question? Those types of things, again, will help them interact with you in a different way, and it will help them think differently about their own situation. Even though it's harder than answering the question, you're gonna find that this serves you, serves your team, serves your family, serves your office environment better in the long run. And you'll find everything elevates faster, everything grows faster, everything progresses faster. So I hope that helps you today on your mindset Monday. So yes, there are stupid questions and hate to point that out, but had to do it. Have a great day, guys. Have a great week. Set your week up now for lots of function, lots of performance, lots of progress. And do that with this tool that I just taught you, how to ask someone back about what they're asking so that it works for better function and better performance. Have a great day, guys. Have a great week. Talk to you soon. Sam.