Mindset Monday - Action is king

This is episode 175, the empowered team Podcast. Hey there. Are you looking to grow as a leader or grow leaders on your team? If so, then our leadership series is for you. It's running all year long. It's free webinars to teach you about various topics in leadership that can really expand your growth and elevate your leadership and be able to really serve those around you. If that's something for you, then opt in to our leadership series, our free webinars that will be going on all this year. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast, where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport, and life. And now, your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider. Foreign. Welcome to Mindset Monday. Here we go. It's another week. It's another Monday. How do they keep sneaking up on us? So let's get started on our topic today. And it's all about action. And when we talk about action, and actions are king, it's not just actions, it's also the inactions. So what does this really look like? You've probably heard the phrase actions speak louder than words. And yet then what are we doing when we find these scenarios where we're actually not taking the action that we want to be taking? We might be wanting to go to the gym, we might be wanting to grow our business or go for this thing that we can envision in our lives. Or, or maybe get this one, maybe you're even a little bit envious, a little bit jealous of what someone else has. That's this indication that's something that you really want, but you're not taking action towards that direction. So let's dive a little deeper. Actions typically are demonstrating a deeper belief. So what you are doing or what you're not doing are demonstrating a deeper belief that reveal or communicate are our wants, our fears, and our underlying beliefs. And those underlying beliefs can be empowering beliefs, or they can be really limiting beliefs. They could go either way. So sometimes we choose certain actions because there's a this or that. There seems like it's a better choice to choose this thing to do versus that thing to do. So I think back years ago, this is back in 2004, 2005, I was unsure as to what direction I wanted to take in my life, in my career. I was looking at applying to medical school as a mature student, as a student who already had a vocation. So there was a different process to apply or starting my own business, opening my own facility. And I went back and forth on either one. Now I was in this purgatory of inaction because I didn't know which way to go. I didn't know which thing to choose. So I ended up taking no action, which is inaction. I was in inaction because I didn't know which action to take. Well, ultimately I made a decision and I decided to open my own business. And then I started taking a lot of action. But sometimes we're choosing something because it seems like the better choice. At the time that action seems, seemed like the better choice because I was a single mom with a young daughter and I thought that medical school would be too demanding on my time away from my daughter not having outside help. I didn't have parental support, I didn't have her father wasn't living in the same city. So I was afraid that my child was going to be raised by somebody else that wasn't family, that wasn't her, her family. And I wanted to be more involved. So I felt that I could raise her the way I wanted to. If I was in charge of my own business, naively thinking that it wouldn't be as time demanding as residents in medical school or everything I'd go through that way, one way or another, it didn't matter. But what did matter is understanding that fear of making the wrong decision was holding me in inaction. And finally the want of something that I felt would make a big difference in my life and her life and the other people that I worked with. That want had me step into action. And the underlying belief of me wanting a certain type of life, believing that it was the right path, also helped the action as well. So notice that there's a want or a fear or a belief or all of the above. And that's either holding in inaction or causing action. Now I'm going to look at another scenario here. Sometimes we want to take action on something, but we haven't actually taken action on it and we don't know why we're not following through. And there was a scenario with my father where he really, really wanted to drive about a four hour distance and help a friend out with something that they were going through. And, and he was making all the arrangements, he was in action, he was having us, we were going to watch his house and watch his animals and do all these things. And he kept talking about it for weeks. It was probably a good month that he was talking about making this trip and doing this thing. Had everything all lined up. And when finally came time to go, he didn't go. He didn't take the action and go on the trip to go help the friend. This is one of those scenarios that we've probably always come up against or come up against at some point in our life, and it's where we want something, but there's something else that we want or don't want that is preventing us from taking action on that thing that we want. So in his case, he really wanted to go help the friend. He had everything set up. However, he really didn't like the traveling. He was really uncomfortable going into a different city. He really didn't like to be away from home. So even though he didn't take action, it didn't mean that he didn't want to do that thing, but there was this underlying want to do it, but he didn't. There was a bigger want to stay home, a bigger want to not drive. There was a bigger fear of actually going into that scenario and an underlying belief that, okay, well, it's not going to matter that much anyway. So sometimes we're not taking action on something that we know we want because there's something else that's underlying that is a greater want or a greater fear that's holding us from the thing we say we want. So another scenario that's happened for us, for Paul and myself, is that sometimes we're communicating via our actions and they become more powerful than our words, and that can become problematic. So there was a time for Paul and I that we knew we needed dates in our lives. And I found that I was the one initiating a dates. And I vocalized that it was a problem for me that he. He wasn't initiating dates. And ultimately we put all the responsibility on him to do the dates. And he really wanted to, or said he wanted to do the dates, but then sometimes he wasn't actually taking action on them. And we realized that. And I realized that, you know, it shouldn't just be on him, it should be both of us and making it a fun thing to actually want to take action on it. But what happened before we had that honest and open conversation was that I was starting to notice that maybe he wasn't taking action on the dates. And then I was starting to, you know, not even suggest dates or not even book anything or not even my inaction was communicating to him that I was upset or communicating to him that I was withdrawing or clicking, closing off because of his inaction. And that was just an underlying insidious form of communication that was communicating fears, that was communicating wants or dislikes. But in A way that was really dysfunctional. Another example of this is in the workplace. So for a number of years, having employees and other coaches in our business or in my business, it was a scenario where there might be communication on how something needs to be done, a particular task or a system that's been delegated to an employee. But then if maybe it wasn't done to standard instead of communicating that, or if there was a noticing of it and instead of bringing that to someone's attention, then maybe I or Paul or another employee might just do it instead of communicating it to other the other person. So what would happen oftentimes is instead of just dealing with the situation or where the system breakdown was, then someone takes action on the area that wasn't done or maybe wasn't done to the standard that was normally intended. Now, what this does is it actually disempowers the person who did the original task because they don't ever understand what the standard of expectation was and it was never communicated to them. And by someone just taking over the action, it silently the commute, the action communicates that someone else is going to do it anyway or they didn't believe in that person enough that they were going to be able to do it, so someone else took over. And that type of action or inaction communication can be fraught with dysfunction because it doesn't work for the greater growth of maybe the company or the relationship or the direction that somebody wants to go. And it is showing the fears or the beliefs, a belief of, oh well, maybe you just can't do it as well as I can, or a belief of, or a fear of you aren't doing it well enough, that means I have to do it, or a fear from the other person that what I'm doing just isn't good enough. So the action or inaction can be full of communication. And as soon as we become aware of that, that is the gift in being able to act intentionally or communicate intentionally. So in going on this topic of actions are king. I want to leave you with a few quotes that are abundant out there when it comes to action. Here's one that's a Jewish do not be wise in words, be wise in deeds. I used to say, I'll watch your feet, not your mouth. And that wasn't taken very kindly by my husband if I said that to him. I've learned better since I said that comment, I'll watch your feet, not your mouth. Another one is a well done is better than a well said by Ben Franklin. And this quote is a really good one as well. You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. By Carl Jung so what we want to do with some intention around this mindset Monday, really for our week, is look for our own inactions or actions that are revealing an underlying want. The want might be obvious, but it might not be obvious as well. So take a look. What do you really want? Why are these actions happening? What are you really looking for in this action or inaction? So revealing the real wants, fears or beliefs. And in doing so, it allows this awareness to step back and decide what do I really want to do or not do? A conscious decision of what your actions will be or not be so that you are taking control over your life. You're bringing intention to your life. And one last thing on this topic is intention itself. Because realize that someone might be doing or not doing something in your life, but ask yourself, is it their intention to cause problems? Is it their intention to hurt someone around them by what they're doing or not doing? Probably not. There's probably some underlying fear or underlying belief in their life that is not intentionally hurting other people around them, but rather their actions are just showing what their underlying fear or belief are. And when we assume that there's a positive intention somewhere there, it really helps to reinforce our work relationships, our relationships at home, and whatever we're dealing with in the workplace, in the sporting environment, or in our personal relationships. So with that, take this intention and and look for the three things. What are your actions or inactions revealing in what your true wants, your true fears, and your true beliefs? What are they your actions will reveal? So have a wonderful week everyone. Use this to have powerful actions in your life. Use this to go forward in a way that really gets you toward the results, the outcomes that you want. Have a beautiful week everyone, and a great day. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action step steps that optimize results. To learn more about our Empowered Leadership coaching for business, our custom online physical training plans, and of course the Empowered Team Group coaching. Head to www.theempowered.ca empowered learn more. That's www.theempowered.ca Empowered learn-more.