Mindset Monday - Create the Feel

This is episode 142 of the Empowered Team Podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast, where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now, your host, vitality and peak performance coach, Kari Schneider. Hello, hello, hello. Happy, happy Monday. Welcome to Mindset Monday. Here we go. We're talking about creating, creating the feel today. Why is this so important? Because we don't really feel like doing much. I don't know about you, but I've certainly been in the pits of not feeling like doing anything. And despite what we might think, creating the feel is not something that just happens because of the weather, because of other people, because of other things going on in our life or something we're looking forward to in. It's actually a skill. It's a skill that we can hone. It's a skill we can develop. It's a skill that we can use to become our best by creating the feel that we need to take the action that we want. So this episode is all about creating the feel. So what does that look like? If you think of when you're a little, little kid and you didn't want to do something, you'd probably be throwing a fit or whining or complaining or having a temper tantrum or something along those lines. And then maybe as you get a little bit older, maybe we pout or withdraw or just let everyone else know how we dislike something because we don't feel like it. And even in I think of myself in university, and I think I was a professional procrastinator because I didn't feel like doing my homework projects. I didn't feel like doing the readings that were assigned. I didn't feel like it until it was so close to the deadline. And I realized that if I didn't do these things, I certainly didn't feel like failing. So I forced myself through it. Well, the truth is, is that generating the feeling that you want to feel is something that you can practice. Generating the feeling that you want to feel to perform your best, to take the actions that you want to take, is a skill that you have the tools to put towards that skill. And I'm going to give you a how to in a moment, but first, I'm going to tell you a little story. I felt like ass at one point when Paul and I had split up and we had separated and my heart was broken. I was hopeful that we could repair things, but things were really bad and he wasn't living at our house and nobody around me knew. So I was hiding what was going on. And I felt horrible every bloody day. And so I remember this one day I was trying to generate some level of energy and function and I went down into the basement to do a workout and I started to physically do some biking, a little walking and running. And just that physical release caused a bit of an emotional release. And I found myself on the floor sobbing and sweating and, you know, just lying on the carpet crying. And one of the kids walked in on me and I made an excuse that, oh, I was, you know, so sweaty and just resting on the floor, made some excuse and I got myself together and I took one step after the other and did what I needed to do, which I think at the time was taking one of the kids to soccer. And, you know, I had to shower and clean up and do the day to day things. And in that moment, I didn't feel like doing anything that day. I felt like crawling into bed, putting the covers over my head and making the world go away. And then I was in these environments, whether it was soccer or work, where people didn't know what was going on. So I was acting as though things were normal or things were okay. And I didn't feel like it at all. And it wasn't that I was being inauthentic, it was that it was my choice. I didn't want to share at that point. I wasn't ready to talk about it at that point. So that was a complete choice and a way of being that I wanted to be at that moment. And. But I didn't feel like doing anything or functioning on a normal level. But the point of this is, is that I realized at that point, after years of living life and raising family and running business and being married and all of those things that I had the skills that it took to generate what I needed to feel to get through whatever I needed to get through. And if there is a time right now that people could use that skill to develop the resiliency to draw from some tools, it's now. It is now that people need that skill. It is now that people can train that resilience and practice the skills that it takes to generate how to feel the way you need to feel to get the results and take the actions that you need to take for your life. So here are a few steps in order for you to generate this for yourself. These are going to be like tools for yourself. And there's going to be three main ones and I'll give you a couple of tools within each. So the first One is the mind. And the mind is going to be the fastest way to get you to your feeling. Because what we think causes the feelings within our body, our emotions in fact, are what connect our brain to our physicality, our body. That's why we feel the emotion in our body might be in our throat or tightness in our chest, or butterflies in our stomach of excitement. So that connection is coming from either the thoughts that we've had or an experience that we're remembering. So that's what we do with the mind. The tool in and of itself is, number one, remembering a time where you accomplished or succeeded at something really going into a time where you felt amazing and drawing from that. Or a second one would be recognizing what thoughts are causing the feeling that you're having. Is it a feeling you really want right now? Is it a feeling of determination? A feeling of strength? Is it a feeling that you don't want right now? Maybe it's a feeling of overwhelm or a feeling of exhaustion. So recognize what the thoughts are behind that feeling, because there's going to be a sentence in there like, oh, even something as simple as, I don't want to do this right now. That's still a thought that's generating the feeling of not wanting to do something. So recognize what's going on in the thought. The third thing is renewing your thinking to create what you want. Do I need to feel energized? To go in to do a workout? Do I need to feel connected with other humans? Then I'm going to think about what it's like to really, truly, deeply connect with someone. That's what I need to think about in order to generate the connected feeling that I want to have. The second way that we're going to tap into creating the feeling that we want is through our body. Our body is one of the most amazing ways to connect to the feeling that we want, because the feelings are generated within our body. And so we have this patterning within our body, this physical memory within our body that will remind us of feelings that we've had at other times. So the ways that I love to use the body, especially if you're looking to energize a feel, are things like jumping, bouncing, dancing, any of those ballistic feelings or those ballistic actions end up generating some of the feelings that remind us of exciting times, fun times, if that's what you're going for. If you need to calm and regenerate, you might just want to lay down, you might want to sit in the sunshine. There Might be other ways to calm or refocus. So use the body, put the body in the physical states that generate the feeling that you need. In that sense, from using that physical memory that you have. Think of a professional athlete and all of the steps that they use, and using their warm up and using all sorts of tricks or techniques or tools in order to generate the feeling that they want. Pre game. Same thing with a musician, a performer, an artist. Typically there's routines and patterns and processes that happen, creating the feeling that the person wants going into whatever that performance is. So those would be the ways to start with, with the body. The second way with the body is the breathing. We can use the breathing in order to elevate or energize, but also to calm that. Breathing is our direct connection from our body to our brain. And that will generate the feelings that we want to feel. If you want to energize with breathing, you're going to be doing quick inhales, but fast and forceful outhales or outhales, exhales like a. That would be more of an energizing type of breathing. If you want to do a calming type breathing, it's going to be long, extended exhales that will signal to your brain to slow things down. It literally sends signals to a sinoatrial node in your heart to slow things down. It's a biofeedback mechanism. And your body can use that mechanical break to help deal with what's going on in your mind. The third thing for your body is changing the environment. Sometimes we need the visual cues, the change in what's around us in order to stimulate the feeling that we want, or the reminder, the visual reminder that we are not just caught up in the thing that we think we're caught up in. So it may be something as simple as changing your room, it may be something as simple as going for a walk. Any of those things that triggering that changing of environment. We can use smells, we can use sights, we can use sounds, especially music. Those types of things will change that physical environment around us to stimulate our sensory input in a way that changes how we feel. Sight, smell, sound, touch. Putting something on that really generates a feeling that we want to feel. This is how we use our body and our kinesthetic feedback with our body and in order to remind our brain what we feel when we bring in those environmental cues. So that is the body, the third thing, and this is really important for that key chemical in our brain called oxytocin. The third thing is others we want and need as humans, the connection to others. And when we don't have the physical dialogue in person with people or we're not as prone to be able to have our social settings like we normally would, then we still need to draw from others. And we can use it with our mind. We can use that connection by using our mind. So in this tool, what it would start with is thinking of who loves you, thinking of those in your life who love you. In other words, what you're telling your brain is that people have your back. And when you feel like people have your back, when you feel like you're part of something that's not just you alone, that stimulates that chemical in your body called oxytocin. And when you have that in your body, that will stimulate the feel good in your heart, in your body, in your soul. And so, number one is thinking about who loves you. Number two, think about who needs you. And this one might be the most important of all because there's so often that we will take action when someone else needs us, but not for just ourselves. When you think of the story that I told you about lying on the floor sobbing when Paul and I were separated, it wasn't my sobbing that got me off the floor. It was that my children needed me. It was that I had to take someone somewhere, is that I didn't want them to have pain over my pain. It was thinking about them that allowed me to change how I felt in that moment. To put one foot in front of the other, it was thinking about them. And that's what stimulates that chemical in our body, oxytocin. So that can be key number two. And the third one, which will do the same thing for this chemical in our body is an act of kindness, an act of generosity. Anyone around you, it could be sending a message to someone, even just take a moment to send five text messages to people that you care about, telling them something that you admire about them. That in and of itself will give you the feel good as well to generate what you need for your day or your life. Those are some of the tools. So to recap, we're looking at those tools as being three main areas. The mind remembering various times where we felt the way we want to feel, recognizing the thoughts that are causing how we're currently feeling, and renewing our thinking to serve how we want to feel. If I want to feel a certain way, what would I need to believe in order to feel that way? If I want to feel playful, what would I need to believe in Order to feel playful, that this is just a game. What does it look like that way? And the second one is our body. So important to mechanically tap into this physical memory, this kinesthetic awareness to give the feedback that mind and body loop by doing some bouncing, some jumping, some walking, something that's movement based. Maybe it's just lying down to calm, or maybe just a simple flow yoga. The second one being breathing. Use the breathwork to energize or use the breathwork to calm down. Different specific techniques will do that. The third being the change in your environment using your sensory stimuli. Stimuli our brain is supposed to bring in the sensory stimuli of our sight, our smell, our hearing. Using essential oils to calm, using essential oils to invigorate, using music to get that drive going, using a different sight to get you going as well. And lastly, others thinking of who loves you, thinking of who needs you, and doing acts of kindness. These I've just given you nine different tools that you can practice using. And use that practice to generate the skill of being able to create the feel you want, when you need it, when you want it, and being able to generate it yourself. Not relying on others, not relying on the environment expanding externally, not relying on good news or anything that gives you a little spark, but relying on yourself to be able to create that skill and generate it yourself. And if you can't or you're not there yet, find somebody to do this with you. Because support is the biggest thing that makes a huge difference in being able for you to take one foot after the other, to take one step after the next. You've got this, We've got your back. Keep going. This is how you create the feel. Have a beautiful rest of your Monday and step into this week. Powerfully practice using those tools to generate that skill of creating the feel that you really want. The feel that's going to take the action. The feel that's going to have you perform the way you want to show up in life. Have a beautiful week, everyone. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team podcast, you'll love being on the team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action steps that optimize results. To join, email us at m4@empowerconditioning.com with subject line team. That's info@empowerconditioning.com. we can't wait for you to be on the team.