Mindset Monday - Discerning Details

This is episode 187 of the Empowered Team Podcast.

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Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider.

Happy Monday everyone. It is time for Mindset Monday and we are here to serve you with discerning details. Have you ever had that experience where you have gone to a new level in something? Maybe it's the first time you used an electric toothbrush. Maybe it's the first time you experienced really, really good chocolate. Who knows what it is? But in that experience you felt like there was no going back. I remember the first time I had Haagen Dazs ice cream as a 13 year old and I knew that that was not going to be a one time thing. I was gonna keep going with ice cream like that because I did not understand that there was such a big difference between ice creams until that moment. So I know there's things in your life that you have probably experienced another level of and you know that you don't want to go back. That is the example of a discerning detail. There's usually something or maybe many small details put together to make that experience so much better. So for instance, my husband has a French press coffee maker and he does this press and it's this insulated little metal thing and he this French press. But when he does this, the timing is right. The type of coffee is ground a certain way. All of these details are important for his experience of this coffee. And yet I don't know how to do those details. But that is one of the many things for his experience that isn't easily replicated. So he's only going to have certain types of coffee, considering he lived in Europe for many years, because he loves that level of quality. But the details come in in order to make that level of quality. So maybe you love a certain type of bed sheets or a certain type of toothbrush, or a certain type of chocolate. There's probably something that has some key details in it that make it a whole different experience for you, that you know there's no going back once you experience that. So that's what we're talking about today in this episode. It's all about the discerning details. And these are the things that top professionals in the world do not overlook. Think of the high quality items that you know distinguish themselves from the next. All the other things in that same category. You think of all the other phones out there, but Apple stands apart. There are certain discerning details about Apple. You think of all of the products that you have in terms of milk, but I'll bet there's one that's your favorite. So these are the things that the top professionals, the top businesses, the top athletes do not overlook. The actions and attention to detail that the best in the world utilize. And they're the little things that make the big, big difference. You may have heard of the 2 millimeter shift, that small change that determines the direction that allows you to hit the target, allows you to get to the destination. And if you do that 2 millimeter shift in the begin that's going to determine that you actually get there versus being way off course. Paul really appreciates this because he's a pilot and if he's slightly off course at one point, it's going to make the make his destination not accurate. This is the same type of thing, except it's an experience that makes the difference. It's an experiential type of action or detail. What this means is the detail is the thing that elevates the quality. It's the detail that makes the difference in the overall experience. So I've put together a definition in preparing for this that a discerning detail is a distinction or small difference between great and exceptional, between great and extraordinary. It is a small thing that may not cost anything or, or it may cost a significant amount of money or time. But either way, that little difference, that little thing, that little action elevates the quality of an experience or outcome. I want to give you some examples. So it could be a name pronunciation. I've noticed that with my name having an unusual name pronunciation, Carrie. Most people might say Carrie when they see the name or even say Carrie after they've heard the name. But if somebody picks up my name pronunciation within the first or second try, that's a detail that I notice because they've paid more attention. Or maybe they know somebody with the same name, but typically it's that they've paid more attention. Do you ever notice that when you've gone to a really nice hotel that everything might be so impeccable. They've got all these extra amenities that you really love. You think everything is fantastic, and then you go out for dinner and you come back later on and what's happened? They've turned the bed down for you. That is a discerning detail that elevates the quality of the experience for you. And it was a very small detail, but something that makes a very big difference for a lot of people to feel really cared for. My husband makes salad for me almost every day. When we're together, that is. And he knows that he knows something about me, and I don't ask him to do this, but this is a discerning detail. He takes this one action of putting the salad out of the fridge. If he's prepared it a day or two ahead of time, putting the salad out of the fridge 15 minutes prior to me eating it. And he does that because he knows that I don't want it totally cold. And he also knows the flavors are going to come out better if it's just a little above that refrigerated temperature. And yet I've never asked him to do this, nor would I ever expect him to do this, and yet he has done it. And that's a discerning detail. When I go to bed at night, sometimes I sleep in that fetal position on the side. A lot of you may do the same, but when that happens, our toes are curled, our body is all crunched together. Our hands are curled up. A discerning detail for my physicality is opening and uncurling my fingers and putting my fingers so that I fall asleep with the hand straight. That'll make a difference for my fingers. It'll make a difference for my wrists and my elbow mobility. And it's this tiny discerning detail that is top level when it comes to an athlete world. That's why athletes at the highest level at their game will work on things like their finger range of motion, finger strength, toe mobility, ankle mobility, the small things, or the discerning details to an athlete. My husband and I started to have hugs a while ago. We're talking about, oh, I don't know, I guess maybe six months ago, eight months ago, I started saying, okay, I think we should just have this hug every day so that we can connect more and just really slow down for a minute. And we'd hug for one minute. And it was fantastic. I love the hug. It was awesome. And then we were at a relationship event and we learned from The Gottmans, these incredible researchers researching for decades on what makes the best marriages work and how to even predict divorce with behavior. And one of the things they pointed out was that skin to skin contact was so powerful for releasing hormones, especially serotonin and oxytocin, for us to feel amazing and really connect more deeply. So this is the discerning detail that I added to our hugs, which is going belly to belly, skin on skin. So now when we go to our hugs, up come the shirts, belly to belly, and we do our hugs that way. That is the discerning detail that makes a huge difference for the experience of that hug. You ever have your car detailed? There's a reason why it's called car detailing. It not just washing the outside, but getting even, taking the Q tips to the inside of the car. That's a detailing. That's a discerning detail. What about your bed sheet corners? Or even just a small gesture or a smile when interacting with someone? What about sharpening your knife right before you use it? Or even for us, for our family? This takes no extra time because we're already folding our clothes, but we do it Marie Kondo style. And then that elevates the experience of when we open our drawer and we see this aesthetically pleasing scenario of all of our clothes in the drawer. It's easy to pick out. If you don't know what I'm talking about. Look up Sparking joy and Marie Kondo. So it could be a material choice or an ingredient choice or a way of being. All of these things are discerning details. So let's look at a couple of things. Three things, actually. Three discerning. Three ways that you can bring out or add the discerning details in your life with these three questions. What is the smallest shift that would make this incredible experience even better? We're assuming the experience is already awesome. We're assuming that you're watching that sunset on a gorgeous day in a beautiful environment with your most loved one right next to you. And the discerning detail would be reaching out and holding hands. The smallest shift to make an incredible experience even better. This is the garnish to the most incredible meal that's been prepared. This is the cherry on top of the sundae. This is a smile and eye contact when shaking the hand. These are discerning details. So here's the next question. Number two. What detail would people in your life appreciate? Is it something in the workplace, like always ending your meetings on time? What about making eye contact when you're talking to your loved one or maybe even a special type of pen for someone that you know that they like. What detail would people in your life really appreciate? And number three, what tiny change would be exciting for you in your life to do for yourself? Maybe personal care. I noticed that when I was in the gym for years and years, day after day, sometimes six, seven days a week, my hair was in a ponytail almost every day. My makeup was minimal and I rotated between the same choices of outfits day in and day out. It was routine, it was ritual, it was exactly the same. But when I stepped away from the gym or when I was going into more presentations or more zoom coaching interactions, then I had to look at things differently because I was presenting myself in a different way. So the discerning details for me became different ways of doing my hair or different makeup choices. Those sound unusual, but even for men, it might be shaving a different way, it might be a different haircut. But what are the discerning details for yourself, these personal care ones? What about even undergarments? You choose different underwear. Do you feel different? You've got the socks on that really hug the arches, those high quality socks, those feel fantastic. And take sock wearing to a whole new level. Is it making the bed for yourself so that when you get back to bed that you actually have that experience that you've done for yourself? Or even leaving a note to yourself, Not a task list, not a note that just has to get something done, but rather a note that gives you a pat on the back or a note that's just encouraging. So those are the discerning details for yourself. So to go through those again, what is the smallest shift that would make this incredible experience even better? Is number one. Number two is what detail would people in your life really appreciate? Number three, what tiny change would be exciting to do for myself? So take these prompts, these questions and add them to your life. Add them to the areas of your life that you know are going to make a difference. Is this for your clients or your customers so that you can elevate your business, your service of them? Is this for your relationships, your loved ones, so you can have a closer connection and more fulfillment with them? Is this for yourself so that you can feel like you've added an incredible experience to your life that can be really up leveled? These little discerning details expand you and can expand your life. So pop them into your life today, this week and see what it does. See what it does for just how you feel in your environment. See what it does for the people around you. See what it does for your business, maybe, and really enjoy it along the way. All right, we're here for you with the Empowered Team. We are here so that you can keep going for your goals, but do it in a way that you have fulfillment and you feel empowered. And you're not just grinding and grinding to get to that outcome, but you're really living and loving your life. We are here to help you do that. So have a beautiful rest of your day and a powerful week and keep going after it. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action steps that optimize results. To learn more about our Empowered Leadership coaching for business, our custom online physical training plans, and of course, the Empowered Team Group coaching, head to www.theempowered.ca empowered learn more. That's www.theempowered.ca Empowered learn more Sam.