Mindset Monday - How to create lasting habits

This is episode 202 of the Empowered Team podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider.

Welcome to Mindset Monday. Here we go on a brand new topic this week. And honestly, I cannot believe I have not done this topic in the past. And the topic is how to create lasting habits. But it's really revolving around something we've taught over and over in our online retreats and our in person retreats called vitality habits. So we've taught this concept of a vitality habit. When people are looking to expand and create a lasting behavior change in an area of their lives, and it usually revolves something to do with their health, their relationships, maybe even their work, but something that even if it doesn't directly involve their career or mission, it will impact their career or mission because they'll be functioning in a more productive or effective manner. So what I'm talking about to create these lasting habits as a system where we call vitality habit. And here's what happens. I recorded a podcast a while back in, in it's. It's actually launched, it's on this podcast, it's called Action versus versus Vision. And the concept that we talk about is that when we have this amazing vision of the future, it's so compelling, it's so awesome, our imagination is running wild. We see ourselves completing the goal. We see ourselves in an amazing relationship, really fit whatever we envision for our lives. It's very compelling and it's, it's something that gets us to take action. But when the now action happens and the action is new and different and it's uncomfortable, that's when we find ourselves not doing the things that take us toward the thing we really want. And when I talked in this previous podcast, I talked about, you know, really doing the tough things. I talked about taking the hard action in this one. I'm really gonna to go to that other end of the spectrum where we wanna make it as easy as possible. And this is how we start to implement a habit that's going to last. And it's really the foundation of long term behavior change now. It doesn't mean that the previous podcast isn't valid. We of course will have to take really uncomfortable actions and there's going to be some tough moments and there's going to be some times we actually have to put a little more effort in. And that is, that's the way it works to really get towards the things we want. However, there are some really effective ways to make behavior change happen in a way that feels so easy, in a way that feels so powerful and keeps us going instead of swinging the pendulum so far to a different extreme. And I'll tell you what I mean by that. So here's what. What happens for a lot of us, if we have something that we really want, and we either haven't been doing it, or we want to stop doing something, or we tend to swing the pendulum to the other extreme. So an example might be that if someone hasn't been working out at all, then they want to start working out every day, or they want to drink more water, Then they start with something really profound, like four liters a day, or they want to stop eating chips, drinking alcohol, some sort of behavior, and then they just stop and intend to never do it again. And that rarely works. You hear the stories of cold turkey, quitting, or changing something, and they never went back. But that's the exception, not the rule. So what really does work is bringing something in in a way that's almost insidious. It's almost like you can't even tell that it happened. And that's how we develop a lot of the actions and habits that we have in our life currently. So what we want to do, though, is instead of it being almost below our radar, instead, we create intention and awareness around it. So to create a vitality habit in any area of your life, this is how it starts. These are the actual steps for a vitality habit. Number one, it's easy. Easy to do or not to do. So we're not starting with the hardest thing. We're starting with the easiest thing to do or not to do. And the second step is that it's quantifiable and clear, so we can measure it. We can identify easily whether it's happening or not. And number three, it moves us in the direction that we want to expand, Whether that's our health, our relationships, our mission, our purpose. Number four is that. And this is a critical, critical step. They all are critical. But you know, this one, if you don't do this part, it really. All the other steps are affected, and it's that it's a 7 or more out of 10 on a confidence scale. That means that you are 7 out of 10 or more, ideally a 9 or a 10 out of 10, confident that you can and will do that particular action. And number five, this is the last step. You tell other people, you create accountability. You want to put it out in the world, not just something you've decided by yourself on your own. So what that looks like, just to give an example, is if I decide that I'm going to read before bed because my day gets really full and I want to keep educating myself on a particular topic, and I find I'm just not doing it, and I'm not going to do it at lunchtime and I'm not going to set a time aside in the afternoon. I really want to do it right before bed, when I go to. Before I go to sleep. So if I decide this, I figure it's already number one, it's easy to do, and it's easy not to do. Number two, I've decided to put quantifiable measures around it. So I'm going to decide I want to do this seven days a week for 30 minutes before bed to read. And number three, does it move me in the direction I want to expand? Yes. I'm growing. I'm reading something I want to read. I'm learning more. So, yes, number four, is it a seven or more out of 10 on the confidence scale that I'm confident that I will or can do it? So let me think about this. I've quantified it with certain number of days a week, six days a week, let's say, and 30 minutes a day, and I'm a five out of 10 that I can do that when I really think about it. So that's when I go back using this confidence scale and go, okay, what are the quantifiable measures that will need to shift in order for me to be a 7 out of 10 instead of a 5 out of 10? And then I realize, okay, if I say if I make it five days a week, not six days a week, that brings me up to a six, but not a seven. Okay, what if it's five days a week and 20 minutes a night? Hmm, that brings me to a seven. What can I do to make it an eight or a nine out of ten on the confidence scale? Well, if I made it ten minutes a night, five days a week, I'm like a ten out of ten or at least a nine out of ten. I know I can be that score, a nine out of ten if it's ten minutes a night, five days A week, and there I have it. Now I know exactly what my next steps are. And the last step is just to tell somebody. Now, because it's right before bed and because it's 10 minutes a night, am I going to tell my co worker Sure I could. Especially if they like to read, especially if they're reading the same topic. But another person I could tell who's really going to help with the accountability is the person I sleep next to, because they're going to see that I'm doing this every night. So I'm really going to hamper my success if I tell somebody who doesn't really know my day to day practices versus telling the person who's in bed next to me when I'm going to do this exact practice. So really, all of these steps make the habit far more likely. And if you've checked off all of these steps, then it gets easier and easier to take the action on it. Because we've covered all the areas of our brain that are required for making this a long term lasting change. We're going to get a dopamine boost when we actually complete it each day we have the measures to measure that we're doing it. And we can go, yes, yes, yes. That feels like we're on the right track. We have accountability with other people. It creates connection and relationship with other people. That's serotonin, that's another hormone, a chemical neurochemical that will help us keep going in the right direction. If we create a marker or a goal that we're doing it so well so often, and then we increase the thing we're doing, that also creates more dopamine. It creates more of the feeling that we're on the right track. So as soon as we've done this same habit for three weeks and we feel like we are doing so well, we're a 10 out of 10. We don't even have to think about it anymore. At that moment, that's when we up the ante. We change those quantifiable measures. Maybe now it turns into 3:30 minutes, five nights a week instead of the 10 minutes. Because we're so confident that we can do that. In fact, we've been slipping in our reading, going from 10 minutes to 15 to 20 minutes. We're actually accidentally going longer than what we said we would. So this is how we create behavior change that lasts. This is how we create behavior change. That's not just something that we try and then we fall off. This is how we create it. So it really has impact and we can grow it over time until it becomes who we are. And this is what we started this topic on is teaching on identity. And what it comes down to is that we don't live into what we're capable of. We live into who we believe we are, whether that's accurate or not. And the fastest way to expand is to do something that's inconsistent with our current identity. So by completing these vitality habits, these check points, these five steps to create a vitality habit, we're actually systematically expanding our own identity. Expanding our identity into something that expands ourselves in a way that lights us up, in a way that makes us feel more like ourselves, makes us feel that we're being our best. So this expansion of our identity is taking a step towards something that's inconsistent with what we currently do. And that's the fastest way we grow. And growth and contribution are the two areas that are. They are the traits or the needs of the spirit, the human spirit, growth and contribution. So use these steps to create a vitality habit for you that will create expansion in you that has you feeling amazing, that has you serving your health, serving other people, serving the life that you really want. We ran this exercise just as a quick power up for our coaching group. We did this this morning. And in doing so, these are just a handful of the things that came out of that quick 15 minutes of teaching on this topic. Right in that moment. This is how easy it is to create a vitality habit. People put it out to each other. One person wanted to clean a room every other day, kind of a almost like a spring cleaning type of vitality habit. Another wanted 60 minutes once a week to really go over their planning of their calendar, planning of their schedule for the following week, planning of their calendar for their future. Another person wanted 20 minutes of walking in nature daily. Another 10 minutes of extra meditation daily. Another 10 minutes of reading each evening before bed. Another wanted to tell their spouse daily how great they were. Just communicate that every day. What an incredible vitality habit. So I share these with you so that you can feel and see and hear how easy it is to go through those five steps and create a vitality habit for yourself. That's going to stick. And if for some reason it's not, if for some reason you feel or you found that you've done three nights of reading at 10 minutes instead of five, well then you adjust it until you're a rock star at three nights a week reading for 10 minutes and then you add four and then you add five. And that's how it works. That's how we really have it stick. By allowing ourselves to see the progression, by making it simple enough to do it within the parameters that we've set and sharing it with other people. And then we move forward in a way that really allows our own growth and expansion and, and makes it stick, makes it permanent so that it becomes our new identity. And it's just who we are. It's just what we do, because that's who we are. Really powerful stuff and really, really simple. So that is what I wanted to share with you today for your Monday. To really set your week off powerfully is how to create that vitality habit. If you want support, if you want coaching in this, then join us. Join our Empowered Team. Step into more of our podcasts. We are here to help you get what you want in your life. Have a powerful week, enjoy your day and keep going. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action steps that optimize results. To learn more about our Empowered Leadership coaching for business, our custom online physical training plans, and of course, the Empowered Team Group coaching, head to www.empowered learn more. That's www.theempowered.ca. empowered learn more.