Mindset Monday - Participate in your rescue

This is episode 210 of the Empowered team podcast. The Zenith is back. The most amazing retreat that really dives in to getting you to your next level. Physically, mentally, spiritually. We have leased out a five acre oceanfront gorgeous spot in Sayulita, Mexico and it is time for you to dive in and change your life. And I don't mean there's anything wrong with your life. I mean up level, expand, make it what you really want. The Zenith is coming end of February this year. We'll tell you more. We just want you to know ahead of time, save the dates. Welcome to the Empowered team podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider. Foreign. Welcome to Mindset Monday. Here we are in another week and we're diving into a topic that I think will serve so many people in this environment of expectations. So today our topic is called participate in your rescue. So it's all about using the resources. So I'm going to tell you a little story before we dive into the five things that will help you the most in being the most resourceful to have what you really want in your life. So this is years and years ago. At one point I was a track athlete. However, what happened was I was sent away to private school. I'm from Canada. I was sent to the U.S. i was living with my aunt and uncle in the US and and I was miserable. I think I was in Grade 8 or Grade 9 at the time and I felt like I wasn't wanted. I was put out to this place that I didn't want to be. I didn't want to live with my aunt and uncle. I wanted to be back in Canada. I was very, very frustrated and very, very sad and upset and felt very helpless. Now this is where at that age I wasn't exactly very resourceful. However, what happened was, is I knew that my father really loved sports and so I just immersed myself in sports in every possible way. And it was this kind of cry for help way of having this attention that I was hoping would be, would be noticed from my father because I was in sports. So I ran track, I played basketball, and I was short and wasn't very good at all. But I was decent at track. I did cross country running, I did track, I did downhill skiing. I basically did as much as I possibly could. And in this scenario, when I ran track and cross country, I got good enough that I was actually top 10 in the state of Minnesota in High school and I was awarded this award called all conference. And I really didn't know what any of it meant. It really meant nothing to me because the result that I was looking for wasn't happening. I wasn't getting any other attention from my parents. Nobody seemed to notice what I was doing and I still felt very unwanted. And so I quit. I quit track. And around me when I quit were coaches who wanted me back on the team. My aunt and uncle supported me getting to track and picking me up and helping me out. So I had this support around me but I couldn't see it and I didn't want it because my only form of control, where I felt out of control was to quit. Now flash forward a few years later. I'm still in high school, but I'm actually living with my father, person that I hadn't really lived with since I was three years old. And it was kind of like a roommate arrangement, I would say I was in high school but I did the grocery shopping and I cleaned the house. I had chores to do and he cooked about a couple times a week. So we kind of had an arrangement if you will. But I still wasn't getting that thing that I had always wanted, which was the attention or acknowledgement. In fact I, I was in high school and I didn't even show anyone my grades because no one really wanted to see them. My mother didn't ask for them, I didn't live with her, I barely spoke to her. My father never asked for them. I lived with him but he couldn't seem to be bothered. And so I was in math class and I ended up failing math class. Now I was actually pretty good at math and I didn't mind it. I actually kind of liked math. It made a lot of sense that to me. But I got mono and I was so sick for a month that I missed school. And this was back in the day when there was no, you know, catch up online or send the lessons or have some sort of zoomed class at the same time while I was sick at home. None of that existed. So when I missed a month of school, I went to take my next test and I failed it because I didn't know the material. And just failing that one test put my grade down low enough that I didn't fail fail. But I got a bad enough grade that I wasn't going to be able to be accepted into the universities that I might have wanted to go. And so I failed the class and I had to take it over if I wanted that prerequisite that was needed for university. And so I did. I took it over, and I ended up going off to university in the long run. But my dad never even knew I failed a class, nor did he even know I took it again. So here's what happened. I ended up participating in my own rescue. I ended up getting resourceful in a way that had me understand that I was the only one that was going to get my butt to where I wanted to go. And when I decided that to actually take that math class again, what it meant for going to university and understanding was I had to go to the school counselor. And then we didn't have anything online to look up. I had no idea how I would find out what university was where. And I really wanted to go to university in the US because all I saw were these sports teams on TV that my dad was watching, and they were all, you know, US Football or US Sports in this way or another. So I thought I wanted to go to a US School school. But I had no way of finding out where these schools were. There was no Internet at the time. Does that age me? Yeah, I guess so. So I went to the school counselor, and she gave me this book that was about 2 inches thick that had all these universities and little details about each university in the US and so I started scouring the whole book to figure out where I wanted to go. And then I found out where I wanted to go. I applied to three different universities, two in Colorado and one in Kansas. And I got into all three of them. And when I applied, I had to mail in the stuff. I had to go get SAT tests in a different city. And to do all these things and figure all this out, finding out and learning along the way from people who had done it, and also from the school counselor. And then ultimately, finally comes the day when where we're gonna go down to the school in Colorado, University of Northern Colorado. We're about to leave, and it's actually the day before we're leaving, and I'm packing the car and all the things, and my dad's gonna drive me down. We're gonna drive together. And he lets me know he's kind of busy, and he lets me know that he's not coming, as in, he's not gonna drive me down to university. So I was on my own. I didn't know how to get there, so I called a friend, and a friend used to have this thing called triptychs where her CAA membership would send her a paper copy of how to get there. And she was able to get me one really fast. And so I had my map, I had my car full of stuff and I was on my own and away I went. Now, the reason I share this story is to demonstrate what has to happen in being resourceful when there seems to be a lack of resources. And I tell this story from way back, kind of uncomfortable because it's so far ago and so long ago and it's so personal. But the reason I share it is because now when we have everything at our fingertips, we have a super supercomputer in our pocket all the time. Now we have so many resources that we don't even fully fathom what we are capable of. It's all given to us that we have stopped learning what we have to do ourselves to participate in our own rescue. We don't even understand anymore what it takes to go forward from within. So participating in our own rescue is all about being resourceful. And I'm going to give you the top five ways that you can participate in your own rescue. Number one, get clear on what you want. Know what it is, feel it, understand it. Get clear on the desire of the direction that you're going. What is it that you really, really want? Number two is know your weaknesses and be able to maximize your strengths. Now, in my situation, my weakness wasn't math. I knew how to do math. So I didn't even need to get tutoring to take the class again. I just needed to take the class again. I knew my weaknesses and I knew my strengths. It was just a matter of me being sick. So I got through it. And number three, receive help or find help. Leverage those resources. And I didn't say just go and get help. I said receive help. Because oftentimes it's all around us. When I quit track early on, the help was all around me. There were coaches who wanted to coach me, there was my aunt and uncle, family members who would drive me to and from the event. But I simply abandoned myself to try and have some level of control in my life and to prove a point or get attention. And it didn't work. So when I say receive help, typically what you need is all around you. You just have to be open enough to be able to receive it. Receive help, find help and leverage what they are able to provide you. Somebody else knows more than you do or they have a tool that can really serve you. Number four, be open to options that are different from what you have tried or what you've experienced in the past. If you're not open to those options. Just have this awareness of looking around versus looking through a tunnel. If you have that openness, that's when you're going to be able to receive that's when you're also going to be able to find the answers that you couldn't see before. To have something align, a question, something that says, I know there's an answer. I know there's a solution to this problem. That alone opens the mind. And lastly, number five, Take action. Take action in the direction that you want to go. Because as soon as you take action, it opens up a whole nother level. It opens up a whole slew of more options that you couldn't see before that you just didn't know were there. And that is when you have more opportunity to to get where you want to go. That's what it looks like to be resourceful. That's what it looks like to participate in your own rescue. Get clear on what you want. Know your weaknesses and maximize your strengths. Receive help or find help and leverage those resources. Be open to the options. And lastly, take action. Participate in your own rescue. If you were drowning in the rapids, that boat was coming by. It means putting your hand up so someone can grab you. If you just keep drowning, they can't even help you. So participate in your own rescue. Start to become more resourceful. Use the resources that are around you and go get the rest of this day. Go get the rest of this week. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Powerful rest of your week and keep being you. The most resourceful version of it if you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team runs year round. It is our group coaching and accountability program where we take mindset and physical performance concepts and break them down to usable action steps that optimize results. To learn more about our Empowered Leadership Coaching for business, our custom online physical training plans, and of course, the Empowered Team Group coaching. Head to www.TheEmpowered.ca empowered learn more. 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