Remembering Your Future

This is episode 301 of the Empowered Team podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider. Welcome. Welcome to the Empowered Team podcast. I am so excited to be with you here today. And if you can see me on YouTube, you can see that I am in the most wonderful, beautiful place. I am in nature. I'm on a lake. It's gorgeous. And this is part of what this topic is about today. Today. Today's topic is all about remembering your future. This is a future that I created a long time ago. And this future is one that was so meaningful to me that I did all kinds of actions to make it come into reality. However, sometimes we forget our future. We forget who we wanted to be, what we wanted in our future, and then we don't do the things to create that future that we really wanted. So today, today is awesome because I'm going to go into a few of those things that prevent us from getting towards our future. What stops us from remembering what we wanted for our future self? And two, we're going to go into how to remember your future, how to do what it takes to really keep you on the path for the future self that you want, the future that you want in your life. So here we go. Let's dive in. So I remember years and years ago, I. I think I was probably about 8 years old. And the future I saw for myself at 8 years old was that I was a singer. I would sing on stages. And the reason this was in my head was because I used to watch that show Fame on tv. If you're not familiar with the show Fame, it's about a school for performing arts. And all these students there were either in dance or. Or singing or some sort of performing arts. And I was enthralled with that show. I thought it was the most magnificent thing. I remember one time after an episode, I cried to my mom. I was like, I want to. To go to a place. And. And she said, she said, well, well, maybe someday you can go to a school that's for whatever you want. And I was like, no. Now I just felt like it was so compelling. And that was my future in my mind. Now, later on in life, I realized that I. I realized I wasn't the greatest singer based on other people I heard. I started to realize, h, I can sing, but is it the singing others want to hear? I would even open the dryer door and Sing into the dryer because the acoustic sound is so neat now. Yes, now. I belted out by myself to the song, sometimes with other people around. But I'm definitely not the singer I envisioned myself to be at that time. So things change. There was an external circumstance, an external factor called I didn't quite have the voice to. Nor was I in the environment to nurture the voice that I had in order to become the singer. And to be quite honest, other things became priority at the 8 year old future self dream vision is not the same as what it was for my 20 year old self. Flashing forward many, many years from that time. In 2005 I started my business and when I did that, I had a vision of being able to not only provide a, provide a facility but also have the flexibility of creating the life I wanted with my child. Because when I started my business I had said no to an option of going back, going to, going back to school, but going to medical school. I was going to apply as a mature student who's already educated in certain areas and there were plenty of opportunities that way. But because I looked at my future, because I imagined over and over what would my future look like if I went to medical school? What would my future look like if I had my own business? And I ended up choosing to go forth and open my own business. Because the future that I saw, I imagined that I would have more flexibility, I imagined I would have more time with my daughter and I would imagined that I could continue on working at the highest level of sport and be working with other people outside of sport as well. So I imagined my future and I thought, okay, well this is the choice I'm going to go with. And I opened my business. But it began with remembering what kind of life I wanted and remembering my future with my daughter. What did that look like? That's what I was doing in the moment was remembering the future that I wanted. And I had a decent amount of uncertainty around going to medical school and what that would look like for myself and my daughter. Now I can't say at this point that one is better than the other. Am I glad that I chose what I did? Of course. Because it's given me so many of the amazing things that I have. However, there's no right or wrong here. It's. It's me imagining my future. A third story that I'd like to share is one where I sold my. My gym. I sold the gym. And there was a reason in that moment I wanted so badly to have a future. With more freedom. And I was, in that moment, remembering the future that I thought I created for myself when I opened my business. Remember, back when I opened my business, I wanted more flexibility, time with my daughter, be able to help more people. Well, flash forward 15 years into owning my own business, what I was finding was I was very, very tied to the business. I was very. I had a hard time traveling without feeling like, without noticing the drop in income I had brought on amazing people, amazing coaches and managers in my business. And circumstances would happen where somebody would move back to a hometown or another person would. Would go to a graduate degree. So I was having a hard time experiencing the future that I had imagined when I first opened my business. So in that moment when I was selling my business, I was literally remembering my future. And my future had to do with freedom. My future had to do with flexibility. My future had to do with helping people. And that's precisely why I ended up selling my business, selling my gym, so that I could renew my business in the way that was remembering my future. It was the. The way that I thought, which had to do with helping more people, reaching more people. Had to do with being able to work from anywhere, being able to travel, being able to spend more time with my family and still work and grow and help more people. And so when I remembered this future that I wanted when I first opened my business, it was very compelling for me to take that action to sell my business and put myself in a position of almost restarting, which was terribly challenging and difficult. But it came from remembering my future self, remembering the future that I wanted. So this concept of remembering your future, I've heard it a number of times. About a year ago, I heard it a second time. And maybe two years ago, I had heard it on different podcasts and. And I looked back at how many times in my life was a pivotal moment, because I remembered who I was deciding to become. I remembered the future version of myself, the future version of my life, the future version of what I wanted in my life, and then realized either how much time had passed, realize where I was, realized what had happened, what hadn't happened. And those things were influential in me moving forward. So I invite you to right now, remember your future. Remember the future that you thought you would have 10 years ago because you're in it now. Are you living the future that you created back then? Remember the future you thought you'd have now? If it's the middle of the year and you made your future plans in January, the goals that you had for your year, are you on your way? Have you accomplished them? Have you accomplished some of them? Have you accomplished none of them? And now you're going, oh my gosh, it seems like a distant memory when I planned at this time of year to have done this, this and this. That's what remembering your future is. It's remembering the vision you had for yourself, remembering the promises you made to your yourself, remembering the goals you had for this time that you made a year ago or five years ago. That's what remembering your future is. So there are a couple of things from, from this stops us from doing what, what it takes to create our future. So what's stopping us from creating this future when we were so clear? When we were looking at our future, we're so clear. I want, I want in five years to have this amount of financial prosperity in five years, I want to have this level of fitness in five years, I want to have this level of freedom in my life. So what stops us from that? Because if you're now at the five year mark and that financial prosperity isn't there, or the freedom in your life isn't there, or the family connections aren't there, well, what stopped you along the way? There's two things I'd like to point to because I've noticed this for myself and I've noticed this for clients as well. Number one is external factors and circumstances. Oftentimes when we're looking at our future, we're not imagining the things that could happen. Now, I did when I was looking at opening my business because in my mind I thought, well, if I go to medical school, I don't have enough family support to help with my daughter. I thought if I opened my own business, I would be able to have more flexibility with my daughter. Well, little did I know that opening my own business was unbelievably time consuming and like having another child and, and probably the same, if not more work put in and time and energy and effort put in as it would have been to go to medical school. The difference though, that I imagined was true in that I would have the flexibility, for instance, of bringing my daughter to my business. I wouldn't have had that if I was in medical school. I wouldn't have been able to bring my daughter with me to do certain things when I was working. Well, I, my daughter worked with me a lot. She was in my business, in my gym. I created a special office with a window that looked into the, that 5,000 square foot or. Yeah, very big, very large space. Of, of my business, I really constructed in a way to mitigate for some of those external circumstances. But when I was in it, I didn't realize how much time it would take, how much energy it would take. However, those external circumstances, those external factors, those curveballs called Covid, those curveballs called a family illness, those things you do not anticipate necessarily when you're envisioning your future, you don't envision those setbacks. So that can be something that if you look back with kindness, objectivity, you look back with grace upon yourself and grace upon that future version of you that's still there. It didn't die because that Covid came along. Your future version of you, your future version of your life is still there. You can still create a version of your future that's very much similar to what you'd created originally, despite external circumstances. So let's take a look at the second thing. And I see this so frequently and I think this is one of the things that stops the achievers in the house. So if you're an achiever in the house, pay attention to this one. It's called the present bias. The present bias. This is the tendency to give stronger weight to immediate rewards at the expense of long term intentions. It's a cognitive bias that can lead to procrastination and short term thinking, meaning it leads to procrastination on the things that you want for your long term goals. Your future self. Now, I am very, very much a person who appreciates presence and advocates presence. To me, presence is being in the moment with curiosity, being captivated by the moment, being calm and clear and very, very connected to myself and others in that moment, as well as what's around me, the sights, smells, the sense, sensory experience. So I'm very, very focused on presence. However, to really create our greatest fulfillment and happiness in life. It's a combination of presence and vision of your future and what it takes to do the thing in between, to be the person in between, to get there. So if we only have presence in the moment, or we're succumbing to maybe an immediate reward, then we're typically not doing that fulfillment filling, that gratifying, that contributing action that brings us to our future self, brings us to our future life. So what we want here is that combination of yes, it's great to be present, but realize that there can be a presence, present bias that has us doing things that are not advocating for our future. So those two things out, external circumstances or factors, and the present bias typically is what Holds us back from being who we want to be in our future and from doing the things that will get us to our future life. So what do we do? How do we actually remember our future? How do we remember in the moment who we want to be so that we're creating the future that we want? So, number one, I. I invite you. And this, this is the thing that, that overachievers have a little challenge with sometimes. It's looking back at our goals and objectively assessing why it did happen or why it didn't happen. Look for facts. It's really, really important to look for facts. Because if you're not looking for the facts, we're often making a story mean something like, I was lazy, I procrastinated, I didn't do enough, I'm not good enough. Or blame some other people, perhaps, or blame some external circumstances. We don't need blame involved. We just need to look at it. Okay, so what happened here? What did I want? What did I plan for? What was my goal and what did I do? What didn't I do? What worked really well? What didn't work well? Not from a space of judgment and criticism, but rather from a space of curiosity, interest, feedback. So these are the zones that can be a little bit touch and go, a little bit precarious if you have a tendency to beat yourself up. Decide ahead of time, I'm going to walk away from this if I notice that I'm making myself wrong. I'm going to walk away from this if I notice that I am feeling really badly about this, because that's not the point of looking back at goals that we've made. The point is looking back and going interesting. So I have a tendency to emphasize someone else's needs over my own. I have a tendency to avoid the thing because it's a little bit uncertain or a little scary because it's new. So notice those things. So number one is go back and look at your goals objectively to assess why it happened, why it didn't happen, and full well, it may not have happened because you were not consistent in your actions. Okay, good to know. I'm not consistent in certain actions and I am consistent in other actions. What do I need in support in order to be more consistent in these actions that I struggle with a little bit more? And notice how these questions are supportive and loving and caring on yourself, because typically we've gone into it really highly criticizing ourselves, highly criticizing our actions, and then we don't want to go anywhere near that thing again. And we're just busy feeling bad about the goal that we created. We don't want any of that. So, number one, go back, look objectively, assess why it didn't or didn't, did or didn't happen, and walk away if you're finding yourself being highly critical or negative or blaming yourself. Number two, appreciate what is right now that was likely created by a past vision of your future. And that's what I'm living right now in this very moment. Right now, I'm recording a podcast, looking out the window, seeing beautiful lake water moving around me. I see the sun in the sky. I am really present to what it took to get to this moment. And this was a future that I envisioned. I envisioned working from anywhere. I envisioned restoring this place called Wickcliffe Lodge. I envisioned being able to reach more people. So that's this change in how I've created my future. I'm able to focus more on promoting the podcast. I'm able to have clients all over the world instead of just in one location. I'm able to work from anywhere in the world and create my own schedule. Now, there are challenges with that because I love to work. So sometimes I might work a little more and have to pull back because I find I'm working a little too much. However, because when you can work from anywhere, well, then you work everywhere, all the time instead of having the boundary of going. So my future vision is more boundaries around when I will work and when I won't work. Whereas my old vision of my future self was I can work from anywhere, I can help people all over the world, I can reach anyone, and that's what's in existence right now. So my vision for my future is that I don't work all the time and I don't work from everywhere. I work when I choose. So in this, number two, we're appreciating this moment now going. My breath is literally taken away that this is the future that I wanted. I am so unbelievably lucky, unbelievably grateful for. For the life that I am living. And I created it. What. What is this? This is amazing. This is the future I created. I'm remembering what I created for myself right now. And then I'm also remembering that, oh, wait a second, I didn't. I didn't see in that picture taking really, really good care of myself. So these are some of the adjustments I'd like to make. So go ahead and appreciate what is right now that you created. That's amazing about what you Created for your right now. Number three, look back at what you imagined for your future. Is it what you still want? Now? You just heard me do this a little bit right now. I looked back and went, well, I thought it was what I want. But now that I'm living it, I realize that because I can work from anywhere. I tend to work 12, 14 hour days in various ways in different areas. Hmm, interesting. But if my family's around, I don't work as much. So what is that telling me about my alone time? It's telling me that I have a tendency to not take as good of care of myself when I'm alone versus when I'm with my family. I want to tend to them or maybe I want to take care of myself because they're reminding me to. So what is it? Is this what I still want? Well, now I'm making the adjustments because now I'm living into the future that I had planned and realizing that, whoa, I didn't know this. I didn't know that. It's different than I thought. What can I do to make it exactly? What's the right future for my vision for me? And then when I get there again, I'll be like, oh, I thought this would be what I wanted, but I need to adjust it again. So if it is, what can happen to reinforce this? So what can happen for me, what's happened specifically is to reinforce what I've created is that I plan for more of it. I put into my schedule. Well, I'm going to work this way from here, I'm going to work that way from there. I'm going to spend this time with my family and make sure it's scheduled out. I'm going to spend this time on myself. So reinforce what's already working. And then if not if, if I'm looking at I'm in my future that I created and it's not exactly what I was planning for. It's not exactly what I want. Well then, interesting. Who can I be right now to create the future that I want? I'm going to say that again. This is really, really important. Who can I be right now to create the future that I want? Why is this so important? Because who you're being is what's going to create the actions that will generate the results that you want. Who you're being will create the actions that will generate the results for the future that you want. Don't forget that. It's who you're being right now. If you're being resentful for the future that you have, then that resentment is what's playing into your future. If you're being optimistic, if you're being appreciative, don't think that appreciating what you have right now won't be don't think that it'll be detrimental to the future that you want just because the future that you want is different. Appreciating where you are right now is the prerequisite for showing that you're ready for your next level. Truly embracing all of what you have right now, truly acknowledging it, being here, being able to be with it where you are right now is part of the prerequisites to being able to get to your future. Now. Of course, there's all kinds of actions that have to happen. Those are prerequisites as well. But by resenting where you currently are, you're never going to that resentment plays into your future. You're likely not going to bring the future that you want. So what I want to leave you with is to right now be the future you. Be that person. Think about what that person does, who they are. It starts with their emotional state. Is that a happy person? Is that a person who's fun? Is that a person who contributes to others? Is that a person who's kind of especially to others, but especially to themselves? Because if you can't be kind to yourself, it's going to be really hard to be kind authentically to others. Be the future you then once you're being the future you, then you can do what the future you would do. Take those actions that your future you would take. Because you're being the future you. You're being the characteristics, the traits, the emotional states. Be the future you to then do what the future you would do. So here's to remembering your future. Don't forget what you wanted for yourself in the past. Don't forget to appreciate what you've created for your now. Don't forget that you're still going for that future you and future life that you want to create. You've got this. I believe in you. Share this with someone who could use a little future thinking and have a wonderful rest of your day. Happy Monday. Have a great rest of your week. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. 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