Standards vs. Expectations: Navigating High Performance

This is episode 271 of the Empowered Team Podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider. Welcome. Welcome to the Empowered Team Team Podcast. I'm so excited to have you with me today. We've got a brand new topic and it is all about standards versus expectations. I guarantee you you've probably bumped up into one or both of these. If you are growing yourself, if you are in business, if you're leading anyone, if you communicate with other humans, then you probably bumped up against standards versus expectations. So let's dive in. Let's see how we can get clarity around these two definitions and how we can utilize them for our own benefit, how we can grow with other humans and really elevate our performance. Because ultimately, having high standards are, is going to elevate your performance. However, having high expectations can but might not elevate your performance. So we'll look at the definitions, we'll look at the distinctions between the two, we'll look at what the drawbacks are of having high standards or high expectations. And I'll give you some of the questions that can really help you narrow this down to stay in a zone of high performance. Instead of dropping into a zone of confusion, differences between people and who's doing what, who has what standards, what we don't want that, it leads to dysfunction and it leads to low performance. So first of all, the definition of standards versus expectations. So standards refer to the level of quality or attainment. They're tangible, they're measurable, they're typically defined. And an example could be in a high performance sport context, is making a specific time in practice, going for that specific time on the track and in a race, that would be a standard. You're meeting that standard in order to make the qualifications for the team. So that could be an example of meeting a standard. Expectations, however, are typically about what needs to happen in the future. So the difference there is critical. A standard has a measurable definition. An expectation is often what we believe should happen in the future. So. So notice that difference. Because if someone thinks your standards are too high, maybe they're confusing your expectations with standards. If you believe your standards are too high, then you should have a specific measurable to assess whether your standards are too high for the goal that you want, the performance that's expected, whatever your scenario is. So typically we have measured the standard. However, when it comes to expectations, it's less about those measurable outcomes. And it might mean that our expectation is very, very different than someone else's. That's why the beauty of having standards that other people know about, the definitions of those standards can really, really help with working with a team, working with a group, communicating with someone else, Even in a household, it makes a huge difference. So I think back to a time where I was. I have hired a lot of people when it comes to my business. Maybe not a lot. It seemed like a lot to me because when I hired originally, I thought I was going to have the same people throughout my whole business because it was such a naive way of thinking, a naive expectation, if you will. I had an expectation of my future that I would have same wonderful people working with me. And for a long time I did. But when I moved my business from Winnipeg to London, Ontario, we had to go through an entirely new hiring process. And I was in a situation of hiring strangers instead of hiring people I knew. When I first opened my business in Winnipeg, I hired people I knew. And those people already knew a lot about me and I knew a lot about them. So. So we already have a set of expectations about the other person. However, when we came into the working environment, I had to create some standards of the work environment in order for us to work cohesively. And that happened. And I. There were some bumps and some mistakes along the way. However, when I moved my business to London, Ontario and I was hiring new people, it gave this brand new opportunity to hire on based on specific roles, specific expectations, specific standards. And we were interviewing someone, I'll remember, I remember specifically Paul and I were interviewing and this person came into the interview and on their resume they had this statement that they had all this experience with elite athletes. And I was looking through their resume and I couldn't see, see where this experience with elite athletes was. And so eventually, as we interviewed and asked some questions with the person, eventually I asked, I said, well, what is your experience? Tell me about your experience with elite athletes. And they said that they had some experience working with some athletes at the provincial level. For those of you in the US that would be like having athletes at the state level. And. And then they had volunteered for a week or two with athletes at a university level. Now, for me, I had a different definition of what a elite athlete was. And to me, an elite athlete was on a national team or had competed at a national level or had made an Olympic qualifier or had competed in world championships. And it was a very in definition than what he had in his resume. So I realized in that moment that my standards were very high. I had a very specific definition of my standard for an elite athlete and that his definition of an elite athlete was something very different. And it really opened my eyes to a potential disconnect or potential problems in the future if we had a different definition of what that looked like. And, and that right there is clarity. As soon as you have that aha moment, like I did in that interview, that one person's definition of something is different than yours, that right there is clarity and it mitigates so many problems for your future, you then can see where the problems could come up when one person believes one thing and another person believes something else, because it was an expectation or a belief system instead of something that was clearly defined. If I had clearly defined in the question of what an elite athlete was, then that would have set a different expectation for the person being interviewed. However, I had to figure that out as I saw their resume and as we were in the interview. And thank goodness I did, because it really helped clarify things in the future. And in fact we did hire that person and he was amazing. And it really helped that we had greater clarity on what we both defined as being an elite athlete. So another example I can give you that I've noticed in traveling so much more, and I wish there were unified standards, and maybe you wish the same thing, because if you wish it somewhere else in the world, then chances are somewhere in your immediate world, whether it's your business or a team that you lead, whether it's your home, somewhere in your immediate world, someone wishes there were the same standards as well. So here's the exam example. I've traveled significantly in the last few years since post Covid. I have been to Fiji, been to the Bahamas, been to Florida, been to Mexico, been to various places that have various airports. I've also flown through different Cities in the U.S. flown through Canada, and it never ceases to amazing amaze me when I go through security and I'm standing there like a deer in headlights, listening as closely as I can to the instructions because I don't know if at this airport I need to take off my watch, I don't know if I need to take off my shoes. I don't know if I need to take out my laptop or any of my devices because it's different at different security checkpoints. So some places you can leave everything in your bag, you don't have to take out the laptop and away it goes through the X ray machine. Other places you have to take out the laptop and your shoes have to come off and your belt has to come off. It depends on where you are. And there are different options, like having a clear pass or a nexus pass or whether you're going through international customs. So for me, I just wished that through every airport and every security checkpoint that there were the same standards in each one so that we didn't have to follow or jump through different rules. Because I feel for the person who's guiding all of us in the security checkpoints because they seem so frustrated that they have to repeat the instructions over and over and over and the people who are trying to follow them don't know what to do next. So if there were the standards and everybody knew at every single airport what they had to do, then there wouldn't be any confusion. But I bet in your life somewhere just like mine, that there is some area where people don't know whether the standard means this or whether it means that. Again, it comes down to defining that standard so that people around you know exactly what it looks like. Because the confusion that comes up stops high performance. Not only does it stop high performance, it impairs the communication in the relationship that you likely want with that co worker or with that family member. What you want is clarity. What you want is a unified vision of what the standard or the expectation looks like. And then lastly, there are areas where if we don't know the area really, really well, we might believe that there's a common stand. So for instance, I have a general idea about bookkeeping. I've had to do the bookkeeping in my business before. I've had different bookkeepers hired on with my business. And so I have a sense of what book keeping looks like. I've had a couple of accountants in the time I've had my business. And in that path I have the sense that accounting or bookkeeping is done like this. But because I'm ignorant to the nuances of bookkeeping and especially accounting, and that the rules change in that profession and that that area of expertise, I'm not privy to all those rules. So I can make an ignorant assumption and believe that the rules are going to be the same. The rules are always the same for something like accounting, I could make that ignorant assumption. And it is a problem because then if we believe that all accountants are going to follow the same standards, then when we hire on our accountant or hire on our bookkeeper, we have a false expectation. So the standards might be similar across accounting, but we may not know enough about those standards. And then it feeds into an expectation that is faulty. So I hope you followed that there. If we don't know enough about the specific standards in the industry, then we can have an ignorant or faulty expectation for that particular area because we don't know it well enough. And that's a trap we fall into when we're hiring on other professionals. Think of this in terms of contracting. There might be a code of safety in, in creating a set of stairs. We might believe that the contractor is following that code. They've done this build to code. However, because we're ignorant about building stairs, we don't know enough about building stairs. And then we wonder why they don't look the way we want them to look. We've had a faulty expectation because we don't know enough about that particular build or that particular project. So notice how standards can be measured following the standard, done to a T and still not meet our expectation. Because our expectation is based on our personal belief and we may not have all the information about the standard and we may be creating a faulty expectation. So notice that they can overlap. We can have clear expectations and clear standards, but still have disappointment that comes from a faulty expectation. So I'm going to give you a few ways to keep this as clear as possible. Number one is making sure. So the two main problems are not knowing the definitions of the standard. And number two, having the standards or the expectations be too high. Whether that's because we didn't know the standards well enough, or if it's because we just had those high expectations and we want to keep pushing ourselves and we intentionally had those high expectations. So here are some drawbacks of having the high expectations or high standards. If the standard is so high and it feels unattainable to yourself or an employee or a team member or someone in your family, if the expectation or that standard feels too high and it does not feel attainable, then the person runs into a feeling of. Of like the pressure is so much and they can't meet it. It's not attainable for themselves. And what happens is they end up feeling unmotivated. You risk by setting a really high standard, demotivating your team. Let that settle in for a second. You might believe high standards are something that's going to motivate everyone. But if the standards are too high, it may demotivate your team. So don't demotivate your team. The way you do this is you can still set a high standard. It doesn't mean lowering your standards. What it means is having the Benchmarks be clearly defined that will step them up, step them up, step them up all the way to that high standard. So those benchmarks can't have large gaps in between. They need to be attainable. Every single step or standard, micro standard on the way to the main standard has to be attainable. That way you're not risking demotivating because all the person has to focus on, including yourself, is the next standard, is the next standard, is the next standard in order to get to that really high standard. This could be on a monthly basis. If there are monthly sales goals, this could be on a quarterly basis. If there are audits that happen in your business, this could be on a seasonal basis. If there are specific competitions or certain things that are happening, like a holiday or a family travel or family vacation, it could be benchmark after benchmark after benchmark so that the people who are involved in that project, the people involved in whatever that high standard is, don't get demotivated. So that would be one of the key drawbacks, is demotivation. The other drawback of really high expectations or high standards is it can build for some people a level of anxiety, level of stress, and the last thing you want it. When going for a high standard or going for a high expectation, you want someone to feel like they can be inspired, motivated, in action. If someone has too much stress or too much anxiety, what that creates is typically a sense of overwhelm. And when overwhelm is present, most people do not take as much action. They tend to freeze, they tend to feel like they're stuck and they don't move forward. So the other risk of having very high expectations is that it creates pressure, anxiety, potentially overwhelm. And that can have an impact on relationships, it can impact communication, and ultimately it impacts the results. So those two main problems, not knowing the definitions or the clarity of the standard, and having the expectations or the standards being too high, risking demotivating or, or high pressure, or creating stress and anxiety. So we don't want those drawbacks. So what can we do? Exactly. So I pointed to one thing already, and that's involved with clarifying the standards. When you define those standards specifically, then people know what they need to meet. Now, it is on you as a team leader, as an owner, as a boss, as a family member. It's on you to define exactly how to get to that standard. Because if you've just set the standard and you've set it high and it's up to them to get there, then you've left them in this no man's land. So part of defining that standard is not just defining the high standard. So for instance, the story I gave before in defining what it means to be an elite athlete in my definition of that standard or that expectation, it's not just defining the standard, it's defining every single step of how to get to that standard. So define the standard, define the first step, define the next benchmark, define the next step, define exactly what it looks like to get there. That clarity is a gift. It's a gift for the communication between you and the other people. It's a gift to the other person so that they can stay motivated. And it's a gift to all parties so that the standard is more likely to be met the next thing, not just clarifying those standards. There are ways you can do this with other people and it is involved with the questions that you ask. By asking clarifying questions, you can have a space within your team or your family that creates the understanding between parties. Because if you created a one sided dialogue by defining your standards, what you are missing is finding out what else is there for the other party. The other person may not understand what it means to get to that next level, or they may have questions along the way or a different expectation for themselves and you want to vet those out ahead of time. So questions like what specific metrics or outcomes will indicate that we have met our standard? You want their input on the standard that you have created. If you do not have their input, you may have missed something and that's why you have a team. You don't have a team just to direct people. You have a team so that everyone becomes greater than the sum of their parts. That's why the team exists. So ask them about those standards and what they think it's going to mean to define that high standards. Are there any industry benchmarks or best practices that we should aim to meet or exceed? Ask those questions so that you are not just going from your own definition of your own business or your own kitchen or your own family, but borrowing from others. I have learned from being in other families, being with other people. Some things that I thought would be wonderful for my family. And by borrowing these other best practices, we can elevate our own standards and also have a greater experience or performance in whatever zone that is also asking, what do people need? How can we support each other? What can I expect from you? What do you need to meet these standards? Can I draw from your support when it's getting to this tough next step? What's it going to look like when we need to lean on each other or support each other for this final benchmark? Those questions will help clarify the vision of what it's going to look like. Because like it or not, even if the standards are clearly defined, there's going to be expectations embedded in. When you're working with other people, you might have an expectation that they're going to show up with a positive attitude. You might have an expectation that they're going to deliver on something in a specific way. And maybe you forgot to define that one thing. So expectations, when working with other people are almost always embedded in and sometimes we miss defining what that looks like. How will we track our progress and measure our outcomes? What are your personal expectations for how I perform? How can I support you in managing or adjusting these expectations if needed, based on your experience because you've done this before? What are these realistic time frames? Are these realistic goals? What obstacles might prevent us from meeting these standards and how can we mitigate them? Is there a balance that we can see? How can we balance in stretching our capabilities and still attaining these standards? Do you feel comfortable in voicing your concerns if anything is coming up with your expert expectations along the way? Isn't that an interesting question? Do you feel comfortable in voicing your ex your concerns while we are attaining these standards? Because if that's not there, and I expected that along the way, that they're going to voice whatever comes up for them. And I didn't voice that expectation and they didn't know that they weren't going to be comfortable. But by bringing it up, we can air these things ahead of time. So these are amazing ways to still go for high standards. Because I promise you, if you are going for high standards, if you have high expectations of other parties around you, you are going to be stretched. And when we have continual high expectations on those around us, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. So if there's a final nugget that I'm going to share with you besides those questions to ask, it's this. When you have high expectations, make sure you're higher in appreciation. You can have expectations, but trade that expectation for appreciation. Often it's something that I learned from Tony Robbins and has made some such an impact in my life. So don't be afraid to trade that expectation of other humans or the future for appreciation for what you have right now or how they're performing right now, or who they are. And when it comes to the standards, define them as clearly as you possibly can and ask those questions that I've put toward you so that you can gain that greatest clarity. So go forth. Distinguish between your standards, which are very measurable, very specific, and your expectations, which are typically your belief system and based in the future. Distinguish between those so that you can have clarity to keep stretching yourself for your performance going forward. Have high standards, by all means, and go ahead and have an expectation or two. Just make sure that you've got more of the appreciation going on as well. All right, if this serves you, then by all means share it with someone else you think it's going to serve. And I have to offer some appreciation here, so I'm not embedded in expectation. Massive appreciation goes out to those who edit the podcast. That is my favorite partner, Paul Durden. He edits this program. And out to Byron who supports us in getting all of our graphics together so that we can get out there. So if you've got people on your team that need a little appreciation or you'd like to appreciate them instead of having only expectations, do it today. Get out there and do that today. Have an Empowered rest of your day. If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team is our group coaching and accountability program where we provide the tools, skills and community for you to grow your self mastery as a leader and optimize your results alongside other leaders. The Empowered Team runs year round to learn more about our leadership consulting for business and our Empowered Team Group coaching. Head to www.theempowered.ca empowered learn more. That's www.theempowered. ca. Empowered learn more. We can't wait for you to join us. Let's go.