The Clean Slate: Use your Schedule with Purpose

This is episode 276 of the Empowered Team Podcast. Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast where we explore how to optimize your performance in career, sport and life. And now your host, executive coach and life strategist, Kari Schneider.

Welcome.

Welcome to the Empowered Team Podcast. I am your host, Karina Kari Schneider.

And we are all about the self mastery for leaders. And keep in mind that what we've noticed over time is that there's a lot of people who are couples or in a marriage or relationship who one or both people are in business. So I hope that this really serves you this topic today. And it's all about the clean slate. That's what it's called, the clean slate. So I'm going to lead you in here with a little bit of a story. When I shut down my brick and mortar business that I had been running for 15 years, I think at the time I shut down my brick and mortar business, I was going from seeing people in person all of the time to transitioning to more consulting and coaching online only, not not in person as much. And I wanted this because I've been so tied to a brick and mortar for so many years that I had a hard time travel. If my, my, my kids and I wanted to go on vacation. I always felt like I was losing money from the business or it was tougher on the person who was managing the business if I wasn't there. I was really tied to operations of the business. Now, little did I know at the time that I could have still had that brick and mortar and really separated myself and become an owner. However, I was ready to be doing different things than the brick and mortar business that I'd run for so long. So I transitioned out of it. But what happened? There were all sorts of people who wanted to see me in person. They did not want to do anything online. They wanted to see me in person. Coincidentally, I was doing this selling my B building during COVID I sold it before COVID but the actual closing of the the transition was happening during COVID So that meant that my clean slate was so easy because people couldn't see me in person. So I didn't really have to go through this transition of, of explaining to people or feeling uncomfortable or doing all these things because they just couldn't see me in person. So it was kind of awesome. And then I was hearing from other people that they really the benefits of COVID for them that they didn't have to host Thanksgiving anymore or they didn't have to see that person that they didn't really want to see anymore. And it made me realize how much we are doing begrudgingly when other people want us to do something, but we may not want to do it anymore. Now, here's the thing that happens with our brains. We've got this conscious zone, and it's like the tip of the iceberg sticking out of the water. The stuff that we're really aware of, the stuff we're intentionally doing, the stuff that we're thinking about, that's the small part of the iceberg that's sticking out of the water. And then we've got this subconscious zone, and there's this massive part that is below the surface of the water that's running the show so much of the time. And then we've got this unconscious area which is even much deeper. And we typically don't even know what's running there. There's. There's so much from our past. We have no idea how it's influencing us, and we have no memory of it. But this subconscious zone is. Is in autopilot. My dog is. Is moving around the room here. The subconscious zone is. Is our autopilot. Our brains want to put information into the subconscious. The reason our brains want to put the information into the subconscious is because it's so energy taxing to keep thinking about it. It's so energy taxing to create and be intentional and be aware. So we want to end up automating it. And our version in our physiolog of automating things is by putting it into our subconscious. So here's what happens, and I'm very, very aware of this right now because I'm in the midst of recording a course, and it's called the power hour. And it's this scheduling system for fulfillment, and it's an awesome thing. However, I've done this for years, this type of scheduling. And what happens is that the things that we automate are the things that ultimately are constant, consistent tasks and actions that we're doing on a regular basis. If we keep doing them but they're not taking us where we want to go or providing the fulfillment or the results that we really want, then why do we keep doing them? For the same reasons that people keep hosting Thanksgiving. For the same reasons that people keep staying in the job. For the same reasons that people keep tied to the brick and mortar when they might want something else. Because it's familiar, and it's going to take a fair bit of energy to go and try something new intentionally. So the beautiful Thing about scheduling each week, the beautiful thing about a brand new month, the beautiful thing about a brand new year is it provides this fresh start effect. And one of the things that I do at the end of the year and often at the beginning of a month, is I look back at my calendar and I actually do this every single week. I look back at the things I wanted to get done, and in my power hour, in my scheduling hour that I utilize, I look back and I go, did I get the things that I wanted to get done? And if I didn't, why didn't I? And if I did, I want to celebrate it. And I also want to reinforce that the things I got done are working toward what I really want. And if I look back and there's a bunch of things that weren't working towards what I really want, or I look back and there are things that didn't get done because they got declared unimportant, then I have to ask myself, why am I scheduling that? Or why did I automate that? Even worse, why did I automate that thing into my life? In other words, we want to clean that up. And there's no better time than at the end of a week, at the end of a month, at the end of a year to look back and do an audit, do an audit of the last week, do an audit of the last month, do an audit of the calendar of your previous year. Where was my time going that I don't want it to go there? What was automated that I don't want to be automated anymore? In my subconscious, on my calendar, in my day to day actions. I want a clean slate. The clean slate is the most beautiful thing. The clean slate is the thing that can legitimately feel so fresh and so free. I learned the hard way this past year, being diagnosed with Graves disease, I realized that there were a number of people that I was doing the friend work, I was doing the family work. I was the one with that person who was creating our particular, I was creating our particular relationship. And what that means is that when I looked back, I wanted to clean that up because I realized I was the one reaching out when I couldn't because I was so sick, I couldn't be there to send the text, make the call, create the, the meetup, create the family dinner event. And I couldn't do it. And I didn't have the extra energy to create those environments. And then they weren't doing made me realize, well, wait a second, is that something I'm going to keep doing to Myself, where I'm the only one or I'm the one in the relationship doing all this stuff. And I literally wiped the blackboard. I deleted that whole part of my life. I created a clean slate. And by doing so, by literally taking out anything that was automated from the past and deciding, is this worth continuing? Is this asking myself the question to make the decision, do I want to continue doing this? Do I want to continue this particular thing that is in my life? Do I want to continue working out at this time? Do I want to continue being, doing this in my relationship, having this regular date night? Do I want to continue hosting the family events? Do I want to continue these weekly meetings with my team? Clean house, clean slate. So in relationships, this is what I call it in relationships. In a relationship, you know how you got that pattern with your loved one that really doesn't work? And somebody says one thing and the other person just doesn't really reply. And then the person who said the thing feels kind of ignored. And the person who didn't reply didn't want to talk about that thing, but they don't want to say it. And it's just this pattern that's dysfunctional and doesn't work, let's say. And let's say it's gone on over and over and over again and you don't want it anymore, but you don't know what to do about it. So here's the thing that I call the clean slate for the relationship. And it's simple. It's a do over where one person gets to say to the other person, can we have a do over? Yeah. Okay, let's try that again. Let's try that interaction again. That's how you clean the slate in your relationships. So by all means, borrow it. By all means, have a conversation with the other person. Don't just drop it on them, hey, do you want to do over for what you just said? Don't do that. But literally have the conversation and say, you know, sometimes we have these patterns that are kind of automated. I think we've been together long enough that there's these things that are in our subconscious and we just fall into this pattern. Can we consciously ask to clean that up or just wipe it off the blackboard when it happens? Because I'm sure it's going to happen again. Can we just ask each other for a do over? Hey, can I have a do over on that? I wasn't, I wasn't in my right mind and I fell into a pattern. I don't want or hey, would you like a do over on that? That doesn't sound like the person I know you said you wanted to be, but with love, saying it with love. So the do over is a way to clean the slate. That's what I call it in relationships. So here's another way to clean the slate. Because most of us are in some sort of career or mission or business. So in business, it's the retro, we call it the retrospective. And if you haven't used these questions in business, by all means start using them. I've been using them for years and years and they've been so fantastically profound that I forget to share them to other people because it's just part of how we operate business. And it's what would you like me to start doing, what would you like me to stop doing? And what would you like me to continue doing? Or you ask this of your department or your team and you bring this as a retrospective on events, on months, on quarters, on years. You use these questions to literally have a tool to wipe the slate clean. What would you like to stop doing? What would you like me to stop doing? And you stop doing the thing or start doing. You take the fresh clean slate and you start to add something new. So that would be the do over in a business example. However, we are personal human beings as well. So what's the do over in the personal side of things? I gave the example of COVID coming along and people not doing their, their hosting that they used to do. And it gave them a great reason not to do it. Because people couldn't come over, they couldn't be in proximity with each other. However, the self, your own personal identities, your. Your ideas of who you are, that is often the hardest spot to create a clean slate. But that's also why the do over in the relationship is so helpful. Because when we can't see the things for ourselves, then we've got a partner to help us. The relationships with anyone are the things that bring out our best and our worst. That close proximity with another human really tests who we are and who we want to be. So when it comes to the self, creating a clean slate is a little more complex because often we can't see what we're doing. And that's one of the reasons why I'm creating a power hour course for scheduling your fulfillment. Because when we look at our schedule, look back at your own schedule and you see your week, you see your month, you see how you're operating in the world. If I have a Client or a business and I am looking at their and I asked to see their schedule. It will tell me so much more than what they told me. If they tell me that their company core values are ones of integrity and service and whatever and I look at their company's schedule and I find that they put very little time and effort into into customer service, then I'm not really convinced that they're following through with their company core value of service and quality. So consider that when you have this tool called your own calendar, when you have this tool called your scheduling plan, that you can look back and look at your own actions because your own actions are telling you what's happening on repeat day after day, week after week, month after month. And if you're not seeing things that you want in there, then clean the slate. Literally wipe the calendar free. If you've got a paper calendar, start with a fresh month. If you have a digital calendar, remove the automations that you don't want to take you forward. Clean the slate and redecide. What's going to work for you, what do you really want? Who are you becoming and what needs to happen now in order to support you becoming that person or that way. If there is one thing that I think people say too often it's I'm the type of person that. And then they fill in the blank and they say it as though there's no real room for improvement or they were born this way. It's a fixed statement. But we are not fixed beings. We are malleable beings. We are flexible and adaptable. We are beings who have the opportunity and ability to become something that we weren't before. To grow in different ways, to grow in different areas, to learn new things. We have this wonderful ability to make new neural connections called neuroplasticity in our brains. So I invite you at the end of the week, at the end of the month, at the end of the year to take a look back. Do the retrospective on your own calendar, do the retrospective on yourself and have a clean slate. Wipe it clear on those automations that don't serve you anymore. Take a look at the actions that you regularly take and decide if you want to keep taking them. Get and introduce the concept of a do over with your loved one and in your business. Integrate the stop doing, start doing and continue doing with every retrospective. And if you're not doing that already, trust me, it gives and opens the new opportunities for creating what you really want and wiping out what's not working. So everyone, this is our Empowered Team Podcast. This is your invitation for this week, for this month, for this year to have some clean slate opportunities. Wipe it clean, start fresh, go new. You've got this. Everyone. I know you're empowered. Use this as a skill to empower yourself.

If you enjoy listening to the Empowered Team Podcast, you'll love being on on the Empowered Team. The Empowered Team is our group coaching and accountability program where we provide the tools, skills and community for you to grow your self mastery as a leader and optimize your results alongside other leaders. The Empowered Team runs year round. To learn more about our leadership consulting for business and and our Empowered Team group coaching. Head to www.theempowered.caempowered-learn-more. That's www.theempowered.ca empowered learn-more. We can't wait for you to join us.

Let's go.