What ADHD entrepreneurs need to know about imposter syndrome

Hey, new listener, thanks so much for checking us out, and there's a good chance you have adhd, so I quickly wanted to ask you to please follow this podcast in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whichever app you're listening to this on. Don't leave it until later because you will forget. Thank you. Hey, new listener, thanks so much for checking us out, and there's a good chance you have adhd, so I quickly wanted to ask you to please, please follow this podcast in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whichever app you're listening to this on, don't leave it until later because you will forget. Thank you. Squirrel. Squirrel. In this episode, we're going to talk about how you making less money than your clients or peers doesn't make you less deserving of your seat at the table. Squirrel. Squirrel. Hi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach, and welcome to the Weenie Castle. Squirrel, get ready to get uncomfortable because we are talking about imposter syndrome in today's episode. Episode. The funny thing about talking about imposter syndrome is I start mispronouncing words because I start feeling like an imposter or someone who has a podcast. This episode is going to be one of those episodes where my ADHD listeners will know exactly what I'm talking about. Because we experience imposter syndrome in every single facet of our lives. Because throughout our lives, we have felt like an imposter in every single situation because we've had to mask as someone who's neurotypical for so long. And I say this, it's not just for those of you who've been diagnosed later in life. It's also for those of us who are diagnosed as children, right? Because just because we were handed a diagnosis when we were 6, 7, 8, 9 years old doesn't mean that the world changed around us. We were basically told, okay, cool, you have adhd. Still go and act normally. And acting normally has never been our true self, right? We've had to put on this act our whole lives so that we can pass as neurotypical, so that we can pass in systems that are designed for neurotypical brains. Just knowing that you're different does not make that whole experience different. For my ADHD business owners out there who've been diagnosed later in life or maybe haven't even been diagnosed yet, you just suspect that you have adhd. For you, this is gonna be amplified because for most of your life, you didn't have that little nugget of validation that acknowledged that you are actually different and there's a reason why you feel out of place in all these different situations. This episode is for you, but this episode is also for anyone who's not a sociopath, who has imposter syndrome, who doubts themselves sometimes, who feels like they're faking it, even when you have years of experience under your belt. This topic is so real for me because last week I had this moment of imposter syndrome that really caught me off guard. I went to this incredible event in Daring Connecticut where I'm thinking about moving to. So this event was kind of twofold. Like I wanted to go and check out the area and meet some people and maybe make some friends. And two, it was a panel discussion in this female founders group that I'm a member of and the topic was around fundraising. Fundraising for your company. And personally, I have never fundraised for my company. I've never had a company that required it. I have a couple ideas for companies that I want to start that will require it in the future, however, which is why this is super relevant to me. I also sometimes work with clients who are having to go through fundraising rounds because fundraising is essentially sales on a grander scale. Right? You're trying to sell the idea that your company is going to be successful enough that other people should put their money into it to hopefully make some money back. And it's so much fun to work with clients who are having to go and fundraise for their own companies. You watch, their confidence grows and you really part of the work is showing them exactly how special what they're offering is. And really it's an act in overcoming imposter syndrome. Because walking into a room and asking other people to put their hard earned dollars into a company that you believe in and you believe is going to be successful takes a whole lot of confidence. And there are some game changing coaching exercises that I do with my clients that really help them make that jump from oh my God, I can't believe I have to ask for money. And like, who would invest in me into oh my God, this is the smartest investment these people are ever going to make because they believe so firmly in what they're doing. And how ironic is it that I coach on this shit? And I went to this event and I had a moment of massive imposter syndrome myself. So let me set the frame. So this event was a panel discussion that then went into a cocktail hour. And because I really wanted to get to know people, I had also signed up to Go to this dinner afterwards with the panelists and the person who was organizing it. So the panel discussion was incredible. I learned so much. The women who were on the panel were inspiring. They had really put their money where their mouth was. They. They had had ideas and just run with them. And along the way, one of the main topics that people asked about was, how did you deal with imposter syndrome along the way? And it was incredible to see these women who run multimillion dollar businesses or businesses that have raised multiple millions of dollars say that they struggle with imposter syndrome every single day of their lives. Hearing that just reminds you that, like, your experience is not special. You're not uniquely thinking that you're unqualified for everything that you're doing. Everyone is doing that. Everyone feels that way, unless they're a sociopath. The fact that you doubt yourself, the fact that you question if you should actually be doing this, is actually a mark of empathy. Because, yes, part of you is worried that you're going to get found out for being a fraud when you're not actually a fraud. But you also carry fear of other people being wrong about you for their own sake. You don't want someone to invest in you and not get their money back. You don't want someone to sign up with you and not get the results that they hope for. So I just want to acknowledge that if you have imposter syndrome, it's a sign that you want to create incredible value in the world and you hold yourself as highly responsible to your clients and your investors. Those are two really good qualities to have as a business owner. So I'm at this event and I'm sitting in the audience for the panel, and then I go to the cocktail hour, and it's lovely. And I'm meeting all these incredible people who are doing really exciting things and in all different levels of business, some are just starting out, some have just have been in business for several years. And there are a ton of women there who are running massively successful businesses. And it actually reminded me of this exercise that I did in improv class when I used to do improv in San Francisco. And it's this exercise where you're given a number, but you don't know what the number is. You literally have to tape this number to your forehead. And everyone is given a number on a scale from 1 to 10. And it's not about beauty and it's not about intelligence. It is about status. So if you're a one, you have the lowest of the Low status in the room, you're basically the scum of the earth and no one gives you the time of day. If you're a 10, it's like you're the emperor of the universe, right? And so the exercise is you literally have to walk around the room and perceive how people treat you to be able to guess and act along with what your status is. So if you're a four and people will talk to you for a minute and then kind of like look over your shoulder, but then gravitate towards someone else, you have to start treating yourself and acting as if you were a four. The incredible thing about this exercise is that when I did it, we did it for about 15 minutes. And you do it for 15 minutes because you have to have enough conversations and interactions with other people in the group to really glean enough data to understand what number you probably are. What was incredible is that at the end of this exercise, the people with the lowest numbers actually felt like shit. They felt so bad about themselves because the way people treated them and the way they had to respond in their acting by acting as that low number made them believe that they were that low number. And those with really high numbers, I'm talking 8, 9, 10, they felt like they were the kings of the world. They felt like they were the most beautiful, attractive, intelligent, sought after humans in the world. And it's amazing how this 15 minute experiment that's designed to help you be better on stage doing funny little made up shows actually does impact your self esteem. And the lesson I took from it is. Oh, what am I going to say next? Well, you'll have to keep listening to find out. But first, Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Squirrel. Join the WeanedCast Hyper Focus community and unlock a whole world of support. Get direct access to me in exclusive calls. Turbocharge your network with unlimited referrals and boost your productivity with Sprint calls and accountability sessions. But that's not all. We're talking expert talks, masterclasses and more. Register now to get in front of the line for this at the introductory price of just $77 per month. It's time to elevate your entrepreneurial game. Let's do this together. Go to weeniecast.com hyperfocus all one word. That's weeniecast.com hyperFocus. And the lesson I took from it is that it really doesn't matter your. I mean it matters your qualifications, but when it comes to imposter syndrome, what matters is how you present yourself. It matters how you hold yourself. Because whatever Energy you put out is the energy you're going to get back. And that energy you get back is going to be incredible feedback for how you should feel about yourself. So one of the biggest fears that people have when they're struggling with imposter syndrome is that they feel like they're a fraud. They feel like they're fearful, faking everything. And the worry is that people around you are going to find out that you're a fraud or you're faking it. And when we talk about faking it till you make it, a lot of people think that you're faking your competence, your ability to do the thing. And no, we're not faking competence. That is being a con artist. And con artists shouldn't be out in the world, they should be in jail. And so if you are faking competence, if you are going out and selling a surfer that you have no idea how to do, and you're taking people's money and delivering garbage to them, go to the police station, please. Just turn yourself in right now. It'll make everyone's life a whole lot easier. I don't believe in faking confidence, that when I talk about faking it till you make it, we're not talking about competence with a P, we're talking about confidence with an F. Faking confidence is one of the best things that you can do for yourself and the people around you. And when you struggle with imposter syndrome, faking confidence is the only way to get out of it. So I'm at this event, we're at the cocktail hour. And the reason I'm thinking about this improv exercise is because it was incredible watching other people and how they would kind of light up when they were around someone who reflected that they were impressive and dimmed as they were around people who they felt smart all around. And once you're aware of how this happens with people, it's really hard to not see. And also it's impossible to not notice in yourself. One of the best pieces of advice that I've ever gotten, and that I tell everyone, is that if you are the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. The best rooms that you can be in are where you are the dumbest person. Now, this is really hard advice to take, because when you're the dumbest person in the room, it kills your confidence. It takes a massive amount of bravery to be in those rooms because you have to admit that there are people in there who are better than you in certain areas. Being in those rooms also requires that you fake a massive amount of confidence. So the funny thing about helping other people build their businesses to high six figures, seven figures, is I actually help people who make more money than I do. And if you're working with a business strategist or a business coach who only works with people who make less money than them, you're working with the wrong business strategist. Because how much money a business strategist or a business coach makes does not matter when it comes to hiring them. What matters is how much money their clients make. Now, the problem for me is that as a business strategist and business coach, sometimes I get intimidated by people who net more dollars at the end of the year than I do, because we have this constant drive to prove ourselves to the people around us. And even as I'm describing this, I'm like, oh, my God, why am I sharing this the world? Like, this is. They're going to, like, you know, like, this is something that I shouldn't be admitting. We're living in a world where people are constantly, like, holding out the receipts of, this is how good I am. This is how impressive I am. This is how much time I spend at the gym. This is how much money I make every day. This is how many followers I have. And because we see everyone else talking about these numbers, naming their own success, it makes us want to quantify our own success. And so what's so hard when we show up at events where other people might make more money than we do, might have bigger audiences, might have higher degrees in their education, have accomplished more in their lives, is it's natural for our imposter syndrome to flare up. Going to this dinner, I had no idea what to expect. I thought that this dinner might have, like, 20 people in it, and I might be able to find, like, a cool little corner of fellow solopreneurs who are fairly successful. But like, the idea of being at a table with women who make multiple millions of dollars in their businesses or who have attracted millions of dollars of investment for or their startups, that felt super intimidating to me because I don't see myself as one of them. Now, showing up to this dinner and getting to being the first person at that table. There were only six seats at the table. There were only six people who had signed up to go to the dinner, and three of them. One was the organizer of the event, and two of them were panelists. And sitting at this table as everyone else arrived and hearing everyone introduce themselves and talk about the businesses they have and what they've done throughout their lives. I felt myself getting smaller and smaller at this table. I imagined being back in that improv class and thinking, oh, my God, what number do I have on my forehead? And realizing that I got to decide the number. However it was that I presented myself, however it was that I introduced myself, the confidence in which I spoke, my tone of voice, how quickly or slowly the words came out of my mouth, that would all feed into what number people would see on my forehead. And you know what? Knowing that did it made it worse. The pressure was really on then. Like, it wasn't just me describing what I do like I normally do to any other human in the world. Like, I now had to think about how I could say it in a way that made it sound even more impressive. And, of course, like, here I am at a table with these incredible women who I could learn so much from and who I genuinely had a lot in common with and had so much to laugh about. We had an amazing time. But in those first 10 minutes where I'm sitting here, wrapped up in my own fear, thoughts, my own brain about, oh, my God, like, they're gonna think I don't belong here. They're gonna tell me I don't. Like, I don't qualify for this dinner, I missed out on that connection for a full 10 minutes. Now I rebounded, and there was a moment where I was. I noticed what I was doing to myself, just like I do with my clients. And it's like, oh, my God. Like, all you have to be is yourself. All you have to be is the person who has impact with her clients and is really passionate about what she does. But it's incredible. When you're used to being a big fish in a small pond, when you put yourself into the big old ocean, the thing that will kill you is getting worried about being small. And we all know that feeling of sitting at a table and hearing other people introduce themselves and say what they're about and talking about their experience and watching as it gets closer and closer and closer to you and feeling, like, that insecurity of, like, well, what do I do with my elbows? Like, not even what do I do with my hands, but what do I do with my elbows? How's everyone else sitting? Oh, my God. Getting not just worried about the words that are about to come out of your mouth, but worried about, like, how you're supposed to hold your body and how do I have a body? Oh, my God. And feeling your palms getting clammy and Wondering. Okay, well, I'm gonna drink more water. Oh, my God, I've drunk so much water, I kind of have to pee now. Do I have to pee because I've had too much water or do I have to pee because I'm nervous? Maybe it's both. No one at that table kicked me out. No one at that table after hearing what I did or how I help my clients was like, oh, I'm sorry, you don't belong here. What happened was I forced myself to kind of be myself. I forced myself to embrace the awkwardness because, let's be honest, I'm fairly awkward. It's me. It's very on brand. I wear a hot dog suit sometimes. Like, you don't get more awkward than that. And I talked about what I love helping my clients with. And what happened instead is people leaned in, they're like, oh, my God, that's so cool. Tell me more. A funny thing that happens sometimes when people get on the phone with me because they're curious about working with a business strategist is they worry that they're not in the right position in their business to qualify for working with a business strategist. They feel like they're not far enough along, like they haven't tried enough stuff on their own. There's this belief that only people who hit a certain level of success in their business already get to work with a business strategist. And the truth of the matter is, if you want to grow, if you want to make more money, have more freedom, if you want to have a real impact on the world, you're going to have to put yourself in positions where you feel like an imposter. This is as true for me, putting myself at more dinner tables with women who I'm massively impressed by and feel so much like a fraud around as it is for you when it comes to asking for help. One of the best things that got said at that panel is that we need to be able to ask for help more. And we have to be to able be more comfortable seeming like we don't know what we're talking about, because the more we're open about that, the more help arrives. I wanna be honest with you. Talking about this is really vulnerable for me because I know I'm the lady with the podcast here, and you probably listen to this thinking, I have my together. And yeah, most of the time I do. But also there are a lot of times that I don't. And I think where we all get flipped out about is we think that we have to shift show this front to the world 100% of the time that we have our shit together. And that's not the point. The point of starting a business is to have an impact on the world, to help other people. Now to help other people. There's nothing in the help other people guidebook that requires you to have your shit together all the time. Most of us start a business because we want to make more money. We want to have more freedom and flexibility in our lives. We want to be able to spend time with people that we love. Nowhere in there does it require you to have your shit together all the time. There are going to be moments where you are a mess. There are going to be moments where you're a mess and you're aware of it and you feel like you have been faking it and you're a fraud and people are going to find out and you don't belong here. And I see you. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I go through these moments as well. Part of what I went through last week at this event is I had that moment. I had that moment of, oh my God, these women around me are dressed so fancy and I'm not, you know, they have nicer shoes than I do. Maybe, you know, their businesses are slightly are more successful than mine. Our brains love rating things. Our brains love doing the more than, less than analysis. And the problem with that is that our brains are really good at doing the more than, less than analysis and not so good at factoring in all the ways in which we're different than. I don't run a tech company. My company does not require millions of dollars of investment. So the fact that I'm comparing myself against someone who has raised millions of dollars investment for her company, that doesn't really do any good because I haven't needed it. I mean, if you have a few million dollars that you'd like to invest in my company, I'm not going to say no. I can definitely make it work and I can definitely make it make some money back for you. So, you know, contact us@weeniecast.com, just scroll to the bottom, leave us a voicemail about how much money you'd like to give us and we'll get back to you with how you can transform, make that transfer. But the point being that you are going to feel like a fraud in certain, certain situations. And that's just because your brain is in compare mode and not in relate mode. When we walk into a situation and we're holding ourselves up against everyone else there. It's guaranteed we're going to see our faults and their strengths versus when we walk into a situation and we get into relate mode, we see, okay, well, where are you struggling in your business? Oh, I struggle in the same area. Interesting. And interesting how they're different because we're in different industries. You know, when we're in relate mode, we account for, oh, wow, you raised X amount of dollars for your business. That's so cool. My business hasn't needed that. And it's really not that model that requires it. And yet we have some of the same challenges. One of the best things that we can do to overcome imposter syndrome is instead of thinking about, okay, well, I have to prove that I belong at this table. I have to prove that I qualify to even be around these people is we have to move away from trying to prove that we belong and start looking for cool. How can I help and be helpful in this room? One of the scariest truths about running a business is that if you don't ask, the answer's always no. If you're listening to this podcast, I guarantee you have big dreams. I guarantee you have a goal for your business that is bigger than your wildest imagination, and I also guarantee you have no idea how you're going to get there. And welcome to the club. Your job as a business owner who wants to make a difference in the world is not to prove that you can do this or that you're worthy of doing this. Your job is to stand up and say, hey, here's my goal. I need help. When my clients contact me or when people who are thinking about working with me contact me and ask to hop on the phone and see if we can work together and if I can help them, that's their brave step. That's them facing their imposter syndrome and saying, you know what? I don't need to know everything on my own. It's okay that I haven't figured this out on my own yet, because instead of trying to prove that I'm smart, I'm going to actually be smart. I'm going to save time and I'm going to save energy and I'm going to save my sanity by instead of trying to figure this out and throwing spaghetti at the wall for years and years and years, I'm going to go to someone who knows what I should do and will factor in my personality, my work style, my goals, the type of business I want to start and will create a custom Strategy for me by asking for investment. That is a move against imposter syndrome going and asking for resources so you can make your dream real and help more people. You could absolutely save and scrimp, sell your own house, maybe sell pictures of your feet and pinch pennies until you have enough money to make this real. But guess what? By the time you have enough money to make this real, the idea will have died. The world will have moved on. Maybe someone else will have taken the idea and run with it. It's your responsibility to own that. You don't have all the resources right now. You need resources and to go and ask for them. And when you're at a dinner table where you feel like you don't belong, it is not your job to show everyone, hey, here are all my qualifications. Here's why I belong here. I'm going to prove myself to you because that'll turn everyone off. Your job is to show up and ask for the help that you need and give the help that you can give. And if anyone at that table has a problem with it, it's the wrong table for you to be hanging out at in Kochi Language. We all have this part of our personality that's our saboteur. And it's this part of ourselves that is only concerned with our most base survival. So your inner saboteur doesn't care that your partner treats you like garbage. At least you're not alone. It doesn't care that you hate your job and it's a whole toxic environment. At least you have a paycheck. Be grateful. It doesn't care that you live in a place that makes you miserable, where the roof is leaking and none of the handles on the cabinet stay on when you go to open the door. At least you have a roof over your head. That voice is kind of a dick. That voice doesn't care about you actually enjoying your life. That voice does not care about you living a fulfilled life where you actually get to impact and help other people. Okay? That voice will always opt for your most base revival over your happiness and fulfillment. That voice is sometimes our imposter syndrome. Because your imposter syndrome, if you let it take over, will actually prevent all these good things from happening to you. It'll actually get in the way of opportunities coming to you and knocking on your door. One of the reasons some of my clients, when they start working with me, they see results overnight is because they're able to snap out of their imposter syndrome and that saboteur voice so quickly and are able to start asking for the things they were too afraid of asking for before because they were worried that just the simple ask of asking for it would show their hand, that they weren't qualified to get it. This is why I go around telling people to stop being a weenie, because this is the quintessential weenie is someone who lets their fear run their lives. And to anyone who's hearing this and thinking, oh my God, I've been letting my fear run my life. There are things that I have wanted to do that I know will make a huge difference in the my business and I've been too afraid to do it. And I don't know how to break out of this. I want you to book a call with me because I know from personal experience when I started my business, the fear was driving me. And the only way I broke out of it was by having a trusted, objective partner who could help me see the forest for the trees, who could help me see what I had to give and snap me out of trying to prove myself everywhere. And beyond that, when you work with me, you're not just getting the mindset shift of breaking out of the fear. You're actually getting a strategy with a step by step action plan. So you're not even guessing anymore. You just get to get to work. It's funny, all the ways in which this mindset of needing to to prove your value to people can pop up in your business can do itis. You know, seeing all the areas in which you can help your client and trying to do it all. That's not you relating to your client, that's you trying to prove yourself to your client. It's okay for you to have a small finite area in which you are helpful to other people. That's actually where you're going to be the most helpful is if you niche down and say, this is what I do, this is how I'm helpful to you. It's in a very small sphere, but I'm so helpful that this is going to make a massive difference in your life, in your marketing. When you start seeing all these other service providers or businesses that are talking about how successful they are and they're bragging about their accomplishments and not about their clients wins. Your impulse imposter syndrome can pop up. You can think, oh my God, well I have to start talking about that stuff too. When really your success rates don't really matter for your own business. What matters is the impact you have for your clients. There's a reason we have that saying the shoemaker's kids never had shoes. The shoemaker was too busy making shoes for all their paying clients. Probably would have been a better parent if they had also prioritized their children having shoes. But you didn't see the shoemaker out on the street bragging about the amazing shoes that they made for their own family. The shoemaker is out talking about all their clients and how happy their clients were with their foot coverings. It's funny talking about imposter syndrome, because even as I'm talking about it, my producer has had to give me pep talks throughout this recording because I get sucked into imposter syndrome of thinking about, oh my God, how do I prove to the people, even though I'm admitting to having imposter syndrome room, that I actually have my shit together at all times? Which we all know is not true. If you've listened to this podcast, I've admitted this more times than I can count. So if you've ever seen the blockbuster hit Moulin Rouge, I want you to take this away with you. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return is true in your business as well. The thing that stops you from loving and being loved is fear. And the thing that will stop you from. From being successful in your business is fear of being seen as not enough. And the business version of loving and being loved is helping and being helped. Whenever you get sucked into imposter syndrome, I want you to go back to who in this room can I help and who in this room can help me? And I want you to lean into the trust that. That is the reason everyone, everyone is in that room as well. Squirrel, Squirrel. Squirrel, Squirrel. If you're ready to stop being a weenie and actually run a business that makes money, then go ahead and book a generate income strategy call with me by going to weeniecast.com strategy call. On this call, we will talk about your goals, your dreams, and your frustrations in getting there. And if it's a fit for both of us, then we can talk about about different ways to work together. Are you an entrepreneur? Are you struggling to stay focused and organized while juggling a million tasks? Are you looking for ways to improve your productivity but finding it hard to stay motivated? Then you need to get access to my weeniecast for Winners show. That's exclusively on Apple Podcasts. I know you might be thinking, I've tried everything to stay on task and nothing works. But I'm enjoying the advice I'm getting here on the weeniecast and let me tell you, I'm delighted to be able to help you and thousands of listeners just like you, my friend. But the weeniecast for Winners podcast is next level and I'd hate for you to miss out on it. For just 199amonth, Winniecast for winners delivers in depth and actionable advice that's specifically designed for entrepreneurs, including those with adhd, whether diagnosed or suspected. I'll talk you through how to increase your sales conversions, keep your mindfulness on point, and even offer practical tips that can help you be more productive and successful in your business, all while catering to your unique needs of being an entrepreneur who might be struggling with adhd. With winicast for Winners, you'll get practical tips and strategies that you can use to drive your business forward without the frustrations and setbacks that often come with adhd. So if you're ready to start seeing real Results, subscribe to Winniecast for winners today at weenicast.com forward/winners for just 199amonth, you'll gain access to the valuable insights and strategies that can take your business to the next level. Weeniecast for Winners is a show that's worth every penny for entrepreneurs who want to succeed. Subscribe now and start enjoying the benefits for yourself. Join the weeniecast Hyper Focus community and unlock a whole world of support. Get direct access to me in exclusive calls, turbocharge your network with unlimited referrals, and boost your productivity with Sprint calls and accountability sessions. But that's not all. We're talking expert talks, masterclasses, and more. Register now to get in front of the line for this at the introductory price of just $77 per month, it's time to elevate your entrepreneurial game. Let's do this together. Go to weenicast.com hyperfocus all one word, that's weeniecast.com hyperfocus.