Christmas gift giving in Denmark: Package games, Almond Gifts, and Why It's OK to Exchange Whatever You Get

Hello and welcome to this Christmas edition of the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. Like so many aspects of life in Denmark, gift-giving during the holiday season comes with dozens of unwritten rules and unspoken expectations. Should you give a gift to your boss? Will you and your Danish friends exchange gifts? And why does almost every store in Denmark ask if you want a gift sticker when you buy something? Here are a few basic tips about gift-giving in Denmark. First of all, it's important to emphasize that gift giving is not the most important thing about the holiday season in Denmark. Christmas food is the most important thing, from the roast pork to the caramelized potatoes to the shredded red cabbage to the buttery Christmas cookies. Alcohol is probably the second most important, and of course neither one is any good without the hygge of being together with your family at Christmas dinner. Or your colleagues at the work Christmas party. Or your football friends at the team holiday party. Gift-giving runs a distant fourth, so don't get too worried about not choosing the perfect gift. That's what the gift sticker is for. It means the recipient will be able to take your carefully chosen gift back to the store and exchange it for something they'd like better. This is considered perfectly good manners in Denmark. And if you ask your recipient how he or she enjoyed the lovely book you gave them, They may respond, Oh, I exchanged that for this flower vase. Isn't it pretty? You, of course, can also exchange the gifts you receive if they have gift stickers, but try to do it quickly because Danish stores have a very short return window. You often have as little as 2 weeks from the time of purchase to return things. Let's talk about giving gifts at work. In some cultures, bosses expect holiday gifts from the people who work for them. In Denmark, this is not expected, and it will probably make your boss feel really uncomfortable. The same is true of gifts to your colleagues. Nobody is expecting gifts, and they will be surprised if they receive them. If you want to share the holiday spirit with your colleagues, bake some Christmas goodies from your home country and bring them into the office for the afternoon coffee break. Just don't get offended if they don't love them as much as you do. That happened to me. Gift giving does happen in the other direction. Many Danish companies give a holiday gift to all their employees. In small companies, this might be a fruit basket or a box of chocolates. Big companies sometimes let you choose your Christmas gift online from among two or three options. I remember that one of the gifts on offer when I worked at Carlsberg was a mini massager. This was the source of a great number of jokes about how employees would be spending their holiday break. Beer and a mini massager. Ho ho ho! If you're invited to someone's home during the holiday season, it's always a good idea to show up with a beautifully packaged host or hostess gift. A bottle of red wine is always good. In fact, bottles of red wine are the informal second currency of Denmark. Don't bring something perishable like a, a cake that the host is going to feel obligated to serve that evening alongside the dessert he has already carefully planned. You can also bring candies. Chocolates are nice, you know, something with a pretty package. And if you have the opportunity to have some edible item from your native country— I don't know, BBQ sauce from the U.S., maple syrup from Canada, a special biscotti from Italy— that will really be appreciated as well. Something special. When it comes to your Danish friends, you, you might exchange gifts and you might not. Danes are open and direct people, so you can usually say in late November, Should we exchange gifts this year? Your Danish friend might say, Nah, let's just have a gløgg together. Or she might say, Oh, that'd be fun. Let's do it. If you agree to exchange gifts, it's also okay to discuss a price range. You want to say about 200-300 crowns per gift? Yeah, that sounds great. Discussing the price range also works well if you have a Danish romantic partner. That way you don't end up with one partner gifting a fully outfitted electric bike and getting a knitted hat in return. Another option for friend gifts is to give experiences instead of stuff. If you're both broke students, you can give something simple like a movie night you can enjoy together. Yeah, it's all on me— the tickets, the popcorn, the sodas. You pick the movie. Merry Christmas. When you're older and in a higher income bracket, you can gift a shared evening that includes dinner, concert or theater tickets, or even a weekend trip you can take together to some other part of Denmark. Again, the Danes are pretty open, so it's okay to ask your friend, are you into seeing Justin Bieber performing as Hamlet, and are you free on June 6th, 2019, before making a non-refundable ticket purchase. Gift-giving within the Danish family really depends on the family. Again, you can be very open. You can ask in advance if you'll be exchanging gifts, and if so, what the price range is likely to be. Many families have their own traditions, such as a pakkeleg, or package game. Every family's rules are a little different, but in general, the players sit around a table throwing dice to win wrapped gifts. You can also steal the most exciting-looking gifts from the other players. Another common family tradition is the mandelgave, or almond gift, which goes to the person who finds the single whole almond in a batch of risalamand served as the finale to the Danish Christmas meal. Almond gifts are usually small and cute. I've been told that my little book, Top 35 Mistakes Danes Make in English, is an excellent almond gift. Your family Christmas schedule will depend on the age of the smallest family members. If they're under 7 or so, julemanden, the Christmas man, will probably arrive in the early evening on Christmas Eve in the form of a dad or uncle or tall cousin dressed up in an ill-fitting Santa suit and stick-on whiskers. He will distribute presents to the youngest family members before disappearing into the dark Danish winter night, after which Dad, uncle, or cousin will rejoin the family for Christmas dinner. Many Danes go to church services on Christmas Eve. After the service, when the little ones are asleep, the adults sit down, sometimes with a glass of champagne, and open their gifts to each other. What should you give adults in Denmark? I've actually done an entire posting about this on my website, howtoliveindenmark.com, where you can go and get some tips about what to give your friends, Danish family, maybe even your friends back home that would like to have something special from Denmark. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. You can follow us on Facebook at How to Live in Denmark or on Instagram. We now have an Instagram account, howtoliveindenmark. The two is a number. That's also our Twitter handle, howtoliveindenmark. And come see our list of good holiday gifts on our website, howtoliveindenmark.com. Have a wonderful holiday season. See you next time.