Kay Xander Mellish explores why Denmark gets confused with the Netherlands and Germany, arguing Germans are actually the Danes' closest cultural match. Both value punctuality and order, though they differ on hierarchy and patriotism. Danish students learn German while German students rarely learn Danish, and Danes now buy German apartments instead of the other way around.
Chapters
Hi, and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. I run my own business, so I often outsource small tasks. This week I outsourced the writing of some tweets to promote my website, howtoliveindenmark.com, to Jessie, a college student in the United States. Jessie did a good job, with one major exception. In all 100 tweets, she confused the word Danish with the word Dutch. For example, Copenhagen Fashion Week. Check out the latest in Dutch fashion. Stay healthy like the Dutch. Bicycle through Denmark. 10 top restaurants in Copenhagen. Enjoy Dutch cuisine. Now, don't give me that stereotype about geographically dumb Americans, at least not until Europeans can tell me the difference between Iowa, Idaho, and Ohio. And yes, there is a difference. The fact is, confusing the Dutch and the Danes is understandable. They both represent small, peaceful countries with seafaring traditions. Countries which are today best known for healthy blonde people on bicycles, rushing home to see their monarchs on TV and eat potato-based dishes. The Dutch are known for their beautiful windmills. The Danes are known for their ugly wind turbines. It's an understandable mistake to make. But— Among Denmark's neighbors, it's not really the Dutch, who resemble the Danes most. And it's not the Norwegians, even though they actually used to be part of Denmark until 100 years ago. And it's not the Swedes, who now serve as a low-wage workforce in Copenhagen fast food restaurants. It's the Germans. Now, my Danish friends might not like to hear me say that. I mean, there have been wars, and Germans are sometimes seen as aggressive or awkward or annoying. But the Danes are more German than they'd ever want to admit. For example, the Germans love punctuality. Punktlichkeit muss sein. So do the Danes. In Denmark, if you have a business meeting at 10 AM, you need to show up precisely at 10 AM. 10:03 is not good. 10:05 is embarrassing. You'd better apologize. 10:10 is a humiliation. And it's not just business. I've had dinner parties where my guests actually circle the block so they can ring the bell at 8:00:00. Now, this is not entirely a bad thing. I mean, the buses run on time in Denmark, and The trains often run on time; otherwise, mass transit wouldn't be so popular. Both Germany and Denmark also like order. If a Dane wants to say that somebody's a stand-up, trustworthy guy, they say he's ordentlig, orderly. When a Dane wants you to clarify something, they ask you to do it for good order's sake, for god ordens skyld. For the sake of good order, let's pay taxes on this. Of course, the German love of order is well known. Ordnung muss sein. Everything must be in order. And of course, if you come across a German friend, you know, crying, wailing, whatever, you say in German, oh dear, is something not in order? In general, the languages are very similar. Danish is a Germanic language. I used to live in Berlin long before I moved to Denmark. And I still confuse the languages sometimes. When I'm speaking Danish, I sometimes reach for some long-forgotten adjective, and when I find it, I take a moment to wrestle with the question, is this word I found German, or is it Danish? At least half the time I get it wrong. Of course, there are differences. I mean, Danes are wildly and openly patriotic in a way that Germans are not, for obvious historical reasons. The Danish flag is used on birthday cakes, and the national anthem sung at family celebrations. You won't see people in Germany eating applestullen while firing up Deutschland über alles. Germans also love hierarchy in a way that Danes do not. In Denmark, just about everyone uses his or her first name: teachers, doctors, bank officers. A really, really incredibly old lady Might be fru Jensen, but I don't think I've ever used the corresponding masculine title, Herr Jensen, in the 13 years I've been in Denmark. Germans, on the other hand, love their titles and even pile them on top of each other. Herr Doktor Professor von Schmidt. People who know German, or French or Spanish for that matter, know there's two ways to say you: formal and informal. In French, it's and vous. In Spanish, it's usted and tú. In German, it's du and Sie. And you will be in trouble if you use du when the German you're talking to is expecting the formal Sie. That's not true in Denmark. Everybody's du. There is a formal Danish you called det, which immigrants still learn in language schools, but it's never used except for letters you get from your bank. Don't ask me why. Now, there is one irony in the Danish-German relationship. For many years, Germany has been the dominant partner. Even today, Danish schoolchildren learn German, and German kids don't learn Danish. Danes drive into Germany to buy beer and soda pop, not the other way around. And Germany has invaded Denmark several times, Most recently in the 1990s, when Germans were buying up all the summer houses in western Denmark, driving out the Danes with high prices. Denmark went so far as to get a special dispensation from the EU that prohibits Germans from buying summer houses in Denmark. But in recent years, the flow has gone in the other direction, particularly when it comes to Berlin, the German capital. Locals there have been complaining because foreign investors have been buying up all the apartment blocks and raising the prices. And the biggest group of foreign property investors comes from Denmark. And that's the How to Live in Denmark podcast for this week. The podcast is sponsored by KXM Group. If you're a Danish company looking to do business abroad, we make you look good in English. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher, It's free. Music arranged by George Garvis. See you next week.
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