Danish Names: Why Bent is not bent, and why It's bad to be Brian

Hi, and welcome to the How to Live in Denmark podcast. I'm Kay Xander Mellish. Now, this podcast was originally designed for foreigners in Denmark and maybe people who were thinking about moving to Denmark. But I have a lot of Danish listeners as well. I got a nice note this week from one of them named Ole. Now, I've never met Ole, and I don't know anything about him except that he's a nice correspondent. But I can make one guess about him based on his name, and that's that he's over 50 years of age. Danish first names are very strongly stratified by age. Ole and Finn and Knud and Kai and Jørgen and Jørgen, and to some extent Poul and Per, are over 50. Their wives and sisters and secret lovers are Inger and Karen and Kirsten and Ulla. Or Bente. Another guaranteed old lady's name is Bente. Or Bent, the male version. Being named Bent is a problem for Danes who travel, because in many English-speaking countries, bent is old-fashioned slang for gay. In those countries, if you hold out your hand and say, Hi, I'm Bent, You may get an unexpected reaction. I once knew a Danish executive named Bent who was sent to work in the UK. While he was there, he called himself Ben, no T. He even had Ben put on his business cards. If you're in business, it's helpful to know these rules about first names, because if you're going to have a meeting, you can get an idea who's going to be on the other side of the table. If it's Søren or Mette you're going to meet with, It's someone mid-career, maybe in their 40s. When I first got to Denmark about 13 years ago, I used to joke that you could get into any party by saying, yeah, I'm a really good friend of Søren, because there was always a Søren. Pia, Rikke, Trina, Pernille, Jesper, Stine, Kim— these are the middle-aged, middle-management names of Denmark today. But if you're supposed to meet with Rasmus or Sophie or Maja or Magnus, You'll probably be talking to someone younger, and quite potentially smarter, than you are. These are names for Danish people in their 20s. For Danish babies, the hippest names are very old-fashioned Viking names. Valdemar. Gertrude. Holger. Holger Danske is a legendary figure who is supposed to arise from the grave and save Denmark in its difficult moments. The next Holger Danske may be in your local daycare right now. Dribbling organic carrot juice onto his blanket. Now, first names go in and out of fashion in every country, and they often tell you even more about a person than his age. In the United States, for example, where I come from, you can bet that Cody will be light-skinned and Tyrone will be African-American. In Denmark, you can pick out the Muslim names, but otherwise there's not that much class distinction, with one big exception. During the 1960s, there was a fashion for working-class families to give their boys anglicized names: Tommy, Jimmy, Johnny, Alan, Kenneth. Some of these kids grew up to be fine members of society, and others grew up to be troublemakers. The guys who have it toughest are named Brian, or Brian, as the Danes say it. Brian has basically become a slang term for a lunk-headed working-class guy. Ah, that guy, he's such a Brian. So if you meet a successful man named Brian, or Kenny, or Tony, which is the Danish version of Tony, this is a man who's worked hard to overcome his background and the disadvantage of what, to the Danes, is a very unfortunate first name. And that's How to Live in Denmark for this week. Hope to see you on March 13th, 2014, at Gentofte Main Library, 7 PM, for our first public event. Admission's free. If you can't come, do me a favor and review this podcast on iTunes. It'll help other people find it. Follow us on Twitter @HowToLiveInDK, the 2 is a number, or on our Xander Mellish Facebook page, or on howtoliveindenmark.com. See you next week. Remember, the How to Live in Denmark book is available for download on amazon.com. You can read it on any phone or tablet. All you need is the Kindle app, and the Kindle app is free. The book's not free, but it's not very expensive either. If you read the book and enjoy it, please leave a review on your local version of amazon.com. It helps other people find the book and find the podcast.